I stand here again, forsaken in a place

That feels like I can never win.

I'm reaching for a saving grace.

I can't even trust no one.

I need to rise above.

I don't think I'm good enough, to feel your perfect love.

-Papa Roach

I didn't see Jude for two weeks.

Not even a glimpse.

Nor a word.

True to his words, we were done.

It was funny, in a twisted way that just as he offered his name- a piece of him- it was gone just as quickly, like I never truly had it in the beginning.

When we returned to the Pack House that night, I instantly collapsed onto my bed, depleted with energy. Sleep felt too far away. I was wide awake and drowning in residual disbelief and longing. I felt sick to my stomach. My wolf felt detached, I could barely sense her. She was hiding away.

Although Jude left earlier, he waited for me near the boundary line of the Pack. It killed me to know that he didn't abandon me in the forest, like he should've done. Instead, he waited until my feet crossed the borders into his Territory before he vanished into the deep shadows of the trees, lost to my sight.

I didn't watch him go; I couldn't. He was never mine to let go and I think that's why it felt worse.

So, when I retreated to my room, I rebuilt the layers of my shield higher until I couldn't find the end.

I didn't cry or stare helplessly at a wall like I usually did when I felt the fingers of loneliness curl around me. I simply reached for my stars tucked safely at my hip and hit the training grounds where I exhausted myself down to the marrow of my bones. I tasted blood each time I breathed in, but I didn't stop for a second. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to have to remember the little beauty I had experienced that night, only to have it destroyed by my own hands.

I ran until my legs burned painfully. I threw my stars and daggers into the targets until I sank each weapon into the little red dot. I punched into the boxing bag until the flesh on my knuckles were rubbed pink and torn. I wore myself out on the bars, using the strength in my arms to lift me up and down, repeatedly. Heck, I even flicked the hell out of the exercise ropes until my arms burned and cramped up with fatigue.

I kept going until I was too tired to lift a finger.

It was only when I slumped to the ground, breathing hard and wet with sweat, I noticed the lone figure standing under the tree. I hadn't sensed him but then again, I wasn't paying attention. I simply wanted to forget.

From my peripheral, he slowly straightened from his recline and hesitated beneath the canopy of rustling leaves.

It was incongruous of his character, and I didn't understand why he was suddenly stalling. He was too far to decipher his expression and I hoped maybe that he'd leave me alone.

He didn't.

Whatever was holding him back was decided when he began to approach me like I was the hunter, and he wasn't.

I braced myself as he causally sauntered over, hands tucked in his camo gear. His eyes locked onto me with renewed determination. He paused beside me with his boots crunching against the little pebbles mixed in the dust.

"If you're here to tell me off, do it quickly. If it's long, please yell it all to me tomorrow when I care enough to actually listen. Other than that, please continue." I waved my aching wrist dismissively.

Instead of a rough bark to shut me up, all I got was a soft sigh. "I'm not here to tell you off."

I couldn't help it. I snorted. Loud. I didn't give a crap.

"It's true. I'm here to inform you that we have a test tomorrow. This test will be more difficult than the rest and some of you will be let off."

I stiffened at the announcement and sat up. I slapped away the dust and dirt clinging to my clothes and rose to my feet. "I don't get it. Why is it only now that some of us will be released? Do the other Recruits know?"

"No. They haven't been informed."

"But you're telling me." I pointed out.

His jaw ticked as he looked beyond my shoulder before gradually settling his hard scrutiny on my face. Something was working behind his eyes, but it was almost impossible to read since Jamison could pull off an array of expressions that all equated to the one meaning- which all translated to 'kind of angry', 'angry angry' and 'angry as hell'. I knew this strange ability would've pissed off his parents and irked off all his former classmates. Right now, it had the same effect on me.

"No. I'm not telling you. I'm warning you." He corrected.

I stopped and cocked my head to the side, examining the strange specimen also known as Jamison Spencer. Yes, I knew his last name because there were some ladies in the Pack who considered Jamison a hot piece of ass. Hence, they all had to speak his full name all dreamy and breathless. I hadn't had the opportunity to fully appreciate his hotness since all I saw was a fully functioning hothead armed with a lot of hatred and dismay.

"Well, this is a surprise. Is Jamison getting all sweet on me?" I cooed.

Yes, I was cooing at a dangerous man who has been known to twist a neck of a stranger without a single thought.

"I don't associate myself in any way, shape or form with the word sweet." He gritted out impatiently. I noted he looked a little red in the face. "But if you're seriously considering me sweet? I think it's time you visited a dictionary to look up the definition of the word."

I shrugged nonchalantly as I sized him up, "Still a sweet thing to warn me."

He cringed instantly, "Don't. I don't know why I'm even here telling you. It's outside protocol. The Alpha could rip me a new one for doing this."

I smiled, albeit a broken one, "Thank you."

They were only two words, but he would never know how much it meant to me as we looked at each other silently.

His obvious discomfort took a pinch of the heaviness weighing me down on my shoulders. Although there was a new type of emptiness in me, Jamison Spencer somehow managed to fill a little of that emptiness up. It was only a little puzzle piece being glued back but it was enough to keep me going.

***

The thought struck me unexpectedly as I was sharpening my blades against my whet stone. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten. The sharp cling clang sound was music to my ears as my hands moved into a familiar rhythm of a rolling wave. The Script played low on my speakers as I worked diligently in making my babies ridiculously sharp and shiny.

Kian.

He was the one who had warned me about the attack on Jude.

Now, how did he know that Jude would be attacked?

I set my newly sharpened weapon aside and repeated the steady routine with my stars.

His warning had been sure and insistent. He wanted me to seek Jude out. He'd made sure I did.

I made a note to see Kian as soon as I could. If he knew something about those changelings, I had to know.

***

Seamus had announced that we no longer needed to tail an Elite Syndicate Enforcer the following week. I was relieved about the announcement and Jamison didn't hold back either with the sudden relief that plastered his face.

I would know since I was standing right beside him when Seamus called us to the Pack House for a quick meeting.

I was glad to pack my bags and get my ass back to my original accommodations. Every thought and act felt painfully strained knowing Jude could be anywhere in the Pack House.

No one made mention of any mating pair being established and assumed the great blessing must've fell upon a neighbouring Pack. I was grateful that no one bothered to dig further but rumours sparked here and there.

Apparently, word should've spread around about a mated pair because it was a much-celebrated union bestowed by the Moon Goddess herself. Thus, some members were a little disappointed there would be nothing to gush about.

That is, until shit happened.

The shit in mention being the first real test Jamison had mentioned.

I knew the minute I spotted the black blindfolds draped over Seamus' arm; we were going to be screwed with.

"Recruits, how are you all?" He asked no one in particular. It was obvious the enquiry had only been something to fill in the uncomfortable silence rather than a genuine question.

Seamus looked completely unfazed by the sudden gloom that fell upon the training grounds.

As usual there was Jamison idly standing beside Seamus looking like the world just ended and he gave next to no shit about it. There was also Solkolov who had a slim blade casually twirling between his ringed fingers. There were two other men who I'd seen quite frequently. However, I had no clue of their names. They looked related with the same jade-green eyes and golden locks. Except, one sported a tattoo underneath his ear.

Unlike Jamison and Solkolov, these two were beaming wide.

It took me a moment to recognise that they had been there when I had killed the changeling with my ninja stars.

"Ladies and gentlemen, today we'll be doing something different." Seamus began.

It was the way he said different that made me uneasy.

"With the help of myself, Jamison, Solkolov, Kell and Ty, we'll be assessing something very essential. Trust. That's why we'll be pairing you off into two. We like to call this activity Ventriloquist. One will be the puppeteer and the other will be the puppet. The puppet will be blindfolded, have their ears clogged with an earpiece that will only allow your partner to speak to you. You'll have your noses blocked with a special clip. Thus, blocking out your sense of sight, hearing and smell."

"Fuck me, they're going to kill us." Pen sighed beside me.

She was right there. Our fellow Recruits did not like us. I risked a glance to the side and saw Casey throw a little, snarky smirk in my direction.

'You're screwed little Aella.' She mouthed.

I returned a wide lipped grin, beaming. She instantly scowled and I fought off the amusement in my expression.

"The puppet will be forced to compete in hand-to-hand combat with one member of our Elite Syndicate. The only way the puppet can survive is by the guidance of the puppeteer through the specialised earpieces."

So essentially, I was going to let someone possibly kill me.

Fan-tas-tic.

My little bud of hope that maybe, just maybe they'll be kind enough to pair me with Pen deflated the moment Seamus paired her with Kian. I sighed but wished her luck. She returned the same sentiment and warily approached a bored Kian rearranging the leather bracelets on his wrists.

I braced myself as Seamus continued calling out pair after pair. I noted that he was taking his time with Jace and Ace's names. I would've preferred Casey over the twins, but Seamus did eventually call my name.

I was not surprised he'd given me Ace.

He didn't hide his disdain. In fact, an evil little grin stretched across his lips as he sauntered towards my spot- hands inside his pockets and the look on his face was pure sadistic amusement. "We're going to have so much fun."

I conjured a grin, one equal to his cruel one. "We are, aren't we? I've always wanted to play with blindfolds." I replied, adding a few innocent blinks for good measure.

His pleasant look crumbled as his gaze narrowed into caustic slits. "You're going suffer so fucking much bitch. You'll be begging me stop." He hissed so low it sounded like his wolf was just beneath his skin, waiting for the last string of his human counterpart to snap.

I let the empty smile on my face linger, "Well, can't say I'm surprised."

His brows furrowed. I knew he was perplexed because he couldn't figure me out. He and his brother bothered me for years. I never was too vicious with them, nor did I purposely attempt to get their asses into trouble despite their hand in tormenting me daily. I kept to myself, but I didn't take bullshit from the kids who always thought they could pick on me because the Alpha's sons were. I made sure that I wasn't a doormat to be walked all over on, even if I did end up limping home black and blue. At least, I was grinning the way back, proud of myself.

"Determine your roles kids. Tests will shortly begin." Seamus announced.

"You first." Ace smirked.

"Sure thing." I placed the nose clip on. I was just about to don the blindfold, but he took the material and stepped into my space. "I hope this serves as a little reminder of where you stand bitch. Know this and let it seep deep and settle into that pretty head of yours. You and your Ma will always, always, be under the command of a Bennett. I don't know how the fuck you made it here, but it won't be long until they see what a shit decision the Scouts made in recruiting your ass." His finger was cold as he trailed the skin on my neck. "I almost admire you-" He carried on in a soft but dark tone, "-thinking you could get away from the Pack. It has been fun watching you taste a bit of that freedom. Now, it'll be more entertaining to rip it away from you. So, how about it Aella?" He snickered joyously, I only felt cold all over.

I jerked away from his acid-like touch, feeling dirty and offered a tight-lipped smile to hide the budding fury flickering just beneath a thin layer of control. "You talk too much Ace." I matched his tone with mine.

The atmosphere dipped into perilous territory when he lowered his head into my personal space, I could feel his breath on the skin of my forehead. He pulled his lips into a hideous sneer, exposing the razor-sharp tips of his elongated canines. "Fuck yes, I'm going to enjoy reminding you how it is to be controlled by a Bennett, something your Ma should've learned. You didn't think I'll use this opportunity to set you back in line little Aella? I'm going to fucking savour this shit. Any last words Aella Bella?" He asked softly, feigning complete innocence.

I took a deep breath, gathering air into my lungs and reluctantly turned to my partner. I attached an insidious smirk. "Like I said Ace. You talk too much. Should've curbed that particular trait when it began to change from cute to annoying, don't you think?"

"You're going to suffer little Aella."

Solkolov approached us and faced Ace with a neutral expression. He looked between Ace and I, rubbing his thumb and index finger together in contemplation.

I clucked my tongue and tossed him something his mother should've given him. Good advice. "You know Ace, I don't know why you're hell-bent on ruining my life but if there is something you should know, I won't let you drag me down without kicking and screaming. You should know by now that I don't go down unless I've exhausted all my revenues. Now, let's play fair."

I went statue-still as Ace sidled behind me and secured the blindfold over my eyes in a farce of a helpful partner. He tightened it with a little more strength than was needed, causing my head to jerk back painfully as he placed a hand on my shoulder while I inserted the earpieces into my ears.

I felt like I was being buried alive the moment I felt Ace step away.

He didn't play fair.

It was a dirty battle.