'You see him when you close your eyes,

Maybe one day you'll understand why.

Everything you touch, it surely dies.'

Passenger- Let Her Go.

I wasn't prepared.

Not one bit.

His eyes sought mine and I knew.

I knew.

The knowledge made my chest constrict My throat tightened in protest. A leaden weight settled at the pit of my belly, curdling there like an infesting hurt. I recognised it as cold, dark dread. I was heavy with the emotion, but I knew what I was seeing, what I was feeling. It wasn't something you could simply ignore.

The warm tingling sensation was spreading from the tip of my toes to the rest of my body.

Panic soon arose and it flooded through every pore and fibre of my being, jerking me inside a reality I didn't want to experience let alone face just yet.

"No, please no." I whispered, stumbling backwards.

A possessive sound elicited from Alpha Slater's throat as he prowled towards me. His eyes flashed and another growl tore from his throat, louder than the last. His nostrils were flared. I could see that his wolf was barely leashed. His gaze was a touch too wild and animalistic.

"Tinkerbell."

I shuffled back some more, holding my palms out to stop him from coming any closer. Tinkerbell? Why was he mentioning Tinkerbell?

He noted that I was moving away from him. Confusion bled across his face. He stopped abruptly and his expression seemed to smooth out with clarity. He was breathing hard, but he was no longer growling. He was quiet, not in his usual calculating brooding way but quiet in a way he was being reverent. Different.

"Mine." The single word was whispered through his lips.

I shivered. "Alpha."

I felt his chest press into my palm, solid and firm.

Unyielding.

I could also feel the strong thump of his heart. Fast but fierce.

I froze and tipped my eyes to his. His were burning intensely but I could spot the confusion, disbelief and wonder hidden there, creating havoc.

"Mine." He repeated just as quietly, extending a hand to touch the apple of my cheek.

I choked on the open air. I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. My surprise was merging with other tumultuous emotions in me, I could barely stand straight. Heck, my knees were trembling, including my hands that were still trying to ward Alpha Slater away.

The memories of my childhood fell upon me in short, cruel snippets, only adding fire to my panic and fear.

Like a nightmare, I remembered Ma and Alpha Bennett. I remembered the isolation from the Pack. I remembered the scorns, the scoffs, the snickers that followed both Ma and I in the Pack to the point we were completely ostracised by our own people. I remembered the utter loneliness, the sorrow, and the pain we experienced. I remembered school, the dread that instantly hit when I entered the front doors, only to be ignored by my peers.

All because of Alpha Bennett who publicly set an example for his Pack members to follow.

Although he never out-right said it, everyone knew he watched and treated Ma with passive dislike while trying to fight off the mating bond.

His wife treated Ma like crap and whenever Alpha Bennett caught hold of the nuisance, he'd try to apologise, which would only upset his wife but perpetuate the cycle of pettiness.

I didn't understand how mates could do that to each other.

And that scared me.

I didn't want that.

Not now. Not ever.

That's why when Alpha Slater tried to touch me, I ducked under his arms and ran.

And ran.

And ran.

I knew he was following. I sensed the instant he realised I wasn't going to run into his arms and smother him with notions of undying love. He moved fast. Despite being tall and big, he was extraordinarily nimble and agile on his feet as he navigated through the thick of the trees.

Our chase disturbed the nocturnal birds as they flew off their branches and scattered like a growing black mist.

I knew he was getting close, and I didn't look back to confirm. I've watched plenty of scary movies to know that's how they all end up dead.

He was gaining speed and my legs began to feel the strain from the earlier scouting we did.

There was a burn that stretched from my calves to my thighs which hindered my progress.

I prepared to climb a tree, but the second delay cost me as I found myself yanked back with a firm tug and flung towards the forest floor. Before I could hit the ground, he moved quickly, twirling us around so he landed on his back. I dropped onto him with a breathless oof.

"Hey-"

"Easy." He grunted, rolling us so that I was on my back.

"What do you think you're doing?" I snapped, pushing against his chest in panic. Fear too was still rising; I was struggling to contain it.

It was obvious that me pushing at his chest did nothing for him. He ignored the blatant signal and caged me in with his arms, setting one thick bicep on each side of my head. With him up in my face, it was difficult to ignore him.

I could see his eyes more clearly and I had been wrong. His eyes weren't truly grey, they were a pale blue that looked grey for some odd reason.

"Blue." I muttered.

"Blue?" He looked confused.

"Blue." I confirmed.

When his lips curved to form a baffled lip tilt, I snapped out of my trance and started pushing at his chest again. "Please get off me."

"Easy." He said calmly but it was an order. He kept himself on top of me but most of his weight was distributed on his forearms.

I froze when his face moved and dipped into the juncture of my neck. His nose grazed along the sensitive skin there, exploring. I fisted his suit in my hands, suddenly feeling too warm between my thighs. I felt his hands in my hair, gently arranging it around my head while he watched himself do it. His nose stayed tucked at my jaw and I had no choice but to keep still until he finished.

When his eyes returned to mine, his mouth pressed against the fluttering pulse of my neck. I gasped, unconsciously arching into his touch when his tongue lashed out to taste the skin there. He sucked the flesh into his mouth and released it.

I closed my eyes and felt his lips smirk knowingly against my skin.

I was embarrassed to say it took a while for me to gather my thoughts. He let me have my moment of peace to compose myself and re-order my words.

"You melt under my touch." He said this in an amused tone.

Yes, I did but I wasn't going to admit it.

First, I had to get my thoughts in order which was taking a damn long time, especially with him so close.

"Let me go." I finally found my voice.

"No."

I stared up at him in exasperation.

He blinked in return, reminding me of a languid dog.

I wasn't going to heed. He needed to go. I was going to snip this in the bud before anything could blossom. "No. Get off me first. Please."

He stared at me for a long moment. I saw his gaze drift from my narrowed glare, to my nose and linger on my lips before he snatched up my gaze again and just stared. "No. You'll run." He replied.

Obviously.

"Can we stand while we're talking at least?" I tried for another tactic.

A pause.

He rolled off me and pulled me up with a firm grip. I barely caught myself when he gently pushed me against the tree and came close, placing his right arm directly above my head. I felt his other hand span my hip where his thumb rubbed mini circles against the material of my suit. Each movement felt feather-like but possessive. It didn't help that the material was thin in that particular area or that each movement of his thumb caused tiny tingles to zap up my torso.

I curled my fist around his suit and found the words I needed to say. I swallowed hard and tried to speak but the words weren't coming out.

"Why did you run?" He spoke gruffly, effectively ignoring me.

"Why?"

"You feel it don't you?"

I kept my attention rooted on his collarbone. I wanted to lie and say that I had no idea what he was on about but the way he was looking at me stopped me.

I inhaled deep, "I felt it. I do feel it." Gosh, I felt it simmering under my skin. It was there, alive, thrilling and scaring the hell out of me.

"Good." His body relaxed.

"I can't do this." I told him quietly, holding his gaze.

I felt him tense. "Can't do this?" He asked slowly.

Something was happening. I didn't know what, but it felt wrong. Something ugly was happening and I knew it was too late to reel my words back in. I'd said them and knowing Alpha Slater, he let every syllable sink in.

I felt his hand on my jaw and he jerked it slightly to the right, so we held perfect eye contact. He was studying me, and I allowed him to see the truth in my words.

"You don't want this?" His voice didn't sound weak, but I could sense the unconcealed emotion contained in his question.

I didn't like it, especially with him so close and me being able to witness each emotion that played behind his gaze. "I can't."

"Tell me one good reason why you can't do this." He asked in a cool voice, it was disturbing how monotonous he sounded. "One good reason."

Looking into his hard gaze, I wanted to cry.

No one outside my Pack knew about Ma and Alpha Bennett. Even inside the Pack, the knowledge was known to a select few. What wasn't known to anyone, but Ma was the identity of my sperm donor. Considering I was a spitting image of Ma, I knew there was little of me that came from my mysterious sperm donor. The subject was a sore one and I was blood bound to keep Pack knowledge within the Pack.

A tense silence fell. I could feel his lips hovering over mine. His warm breath tickled my own, but I was nowhere near warm when the hand cupping my jaw slid to my neck where his thumb pressed lightly into the hollow of my collarbone.

"Alpha-"

"Remember this." He whispered against my lips, "I want you to remember this moment. Remember this night. Me. You. Pressed together. Full Moon. Remember everything." He spoke like he was gritting the words through his teeth.

A solid lump formed in my throat as my vision of him blurred.

"Cause this is the first and last time you'll have me this close. Chest to chest. Heart to heart. First and last time. When I'm done. I'm done. I won't chase after you. I won't let you in. When we're done. We. Are. Done. This will be finished if you choose the wrong one."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I already knew my answer. I didn't let myself dwell on the what ifs, maybes, and regrets. I didn't allow myself the possibilities.

"I can't." I let the two words roll off my tongue like acid.

I heard and felt the whoosh of air that depleted his lungs. My chest burned as I re-opened my eyes.

His perfect, pale eyes were hard and emotionless. "Wrong answer." His voice was hoarse.

I took a stuttered breath as he recoiled away from me, taking his warmth and familiar scent. He distanced himself several paces away where he leaned against the trunk of a tree, looking at his combat boots. He was breathing hard since I could see the movement of his chest rising up and down.

I folded my arms against my chest and avoided looking into his direction. "Alpha Slater-"

"Stop calling me that. My name is Jude."

Jude. Jude Slater.

"Maybe we should head back to the Pack." I couldn't believe how pathetic I sounded at that moment. I sounded like a coward in my own ears, I couldn't hide my own grimace. In fact, I wanted to go conceal myself in the cavity of a rock for the next decade or so just so I wouldn't have to feel guilty and torn up.

"We should." Alpha Slater- I mean Jude replied with a blank tone it sounded robotic.

When I glanced up, I knew I lost him.

Not one single emotion spread across his face. There wasn't even a hint of his cool dominance lingering behind his gaze. His face was carefully blank. He was a closed book now, just like he had been the first time I met him. Right then I realised what I'd done. I swallowed hard and pressed my lips together in a tight line. "I'm sorry." It was the softest I heard my voice ever go.

He flinched.

It was only a miniscule move, but I saw it. He might as well have slammed a dagger straight through my gut and twisted it in.

"Don't be. I won't be waiting for you. You've made your choice. It's done."

"I'm still sorry." I said quietly, hopelessly staring at my trembling palms.

"It's done." He repeated. This time, his voice was firm and filled with solemn finality.

Just like that, we were done.

I let him go and breathed deep as I looked at the Full Moon with tear-brimmed eyes. "Why would you do this?" I asked quietly, "Why? Why would you do this to me?"

There wasn't an answer, not even a slight breeze to comfort me.

Everything felt dead and silent.

Just like the inside of my chest.