Special note: posting before my criteria is met cause my baby moved so high in rankings🥺 Thanks to you all for voting, reading, commenting and interacting. I really can't explain how I feel🥺

#3 in lovetriangle out of 60k stories😭😭

#2 in painful

#1 in painful love

Thank you all so much🥰🥰 I love you

Trigger warning ⚠️: suicide.

Let's proceed:

Nyx's pov.

My body moved on it's own accord. With a heavy heart and blurry vision I drew my seat backwards, stood up and ran out of the dining hall. Their voices and laughter faded away as I got farther away from them.

The stabbing feeling in my chest worsened as I remembered every word she had said, as I remembered how Lycus had ignored me. I tried to fight the tears from slipping out but It was almost impossible.

He lied, I blinked my eyes.

He used me, I squeezed them shut.

Andros was right, A tear slipped.

I got to my room heaving gravely as the tears began to fall uncontrollably. The pain was just too much, I couldn't take it.

Why did I have to go through so much pain? What have I done to deserve all these? Why? Why? Why? Why me?

I shut the door, dragged myself to the bed and laid on it quietly as I didn't want to wake Amara up. I clamped my hand over my mouth trying to muffle my sobs. The pain increased knowing that I couldn't cry out. I wanted to scream, shout, throw things, yell or jump off a cliff. I wanted to let out everything I felt, every single emotion that passed through me, I wanted to let it all out.

Nyx stop crying, it will all be okay, Hera said trying to console me, her voice was torn, Maybe there is an explanation for this.

What explanation? I croaked, He didn't even say anything, he barely looked at me. He just stayed there wining and dining like nothing happened after telling me all those words days ago, I feel so betrayed.

I felt stupid, I felt stupid thinking that anyone would ever love an abomination like me. I should have known, I should have known that he was just using me. Andros tried to warn me but I was blinded by the facade that Lycus had put up, the gifts, the kisses, the time spent together, the words and mesmerizing looks were all false, he was only trying to break the spell he was on so he won't be the weak king and now that it was done, he has taken another person to be his luna.

Nyx, please calm down, Hera tried pacifying me, we will get out of this, sort this out and be happy.

That was the issue, I couldn't get out if this, never will. I will always be rejected, used and cast aside. I was rejected once and now worse is happening when I thought I had found my safe haven. He was cruel to me when I first came then things changed, he changed and he made me happy. I hardly even thought about my past, and even when I still got mean glances from pack members, mean words from elders and flashbacks from my traumatizing experience, i pushed them back and relied on Lycus's affection, his sweet words and actions.

I rolled over moving closer to Amara, she was deeply asleep with her beautiful hair scattered all over and she clutched on to fluffy tightly, "I failed you." I whispered brushing her hair aside and kissing her on her cheek, "I hope you forgive me one day, I am sorry." More warm tears fell, "I love you, mummy loves you very much and always will." I stood up from the bed, blew her a kiss and walked into the bathroom.

I stood before the mirror, first I removed my dress, my undies followed and I stood naked before it. The only thing I had on was the bracelet and necklace he had gifted me.

I gazed at my body, I wasn't as thin as I had been when I first came, I had added some weight but my bones were still sticking out. I felt sick looking at my self, I gazed at every scar, every mark and every hateful word carved on my body, I deserved them, I was worthless, worthless people deserve pain and I am one.

I took off the bracelet and necklace, they were too beautiful to be on me. I placed them on the counter, maybe he would gift them to Laya, she deserved it. She was beautiful, strong and everything that I was not.

I turned on the tap and watched as the bathtub got filled up, What are you going to do Nyx? Taking a bath? Hera asked me with a hint of worry in her voice, It shouldn't be what I think it is, you are taking a bath right?

I didn't give her an answer, I shut her off. Yea of course, I was taking a bath, in my blood. I turned off the faucet, faced the door making sure that it was locked and went back to the drawer, I took out a razor.

My hands shook as I stepped into the bathtub, the tears flowed and every hurtful word I had heard resounded in my ear.

you are nothing! A waste! Useless! A curse! You are worthless

Alpha Titan's statement of how no one would ever love me came back as I cut my self adding to the other cuts on my body, drawing blood. The water was turning crimson in some parts. He was right, I was took ugly to be loved, too worthless to keep, no one wanted an abomination.

Fay was right, I remember her words when she had attacked me in the forest,

You are nothing, nothing to anyone, nothing to him now and you will forever be nothing! Forget about him mating with you cause that will never happen like I said I would do everything in my power to halt you both having a thing

He is never going to want you, never going to look at you with desire and if you know what is good for you

I stabbed the blade into my skin as I heard the words over and over again, she was right, I was stupid not to believe them both.

And every other person who had been mean to me, they were all right.

I am sorry Amara, I sliced across my wrist, I am sorry Hera, I sliced deeper.

My thoughts when back to Lycus, he lied alot making me believe that he wanted me and I was worth keeping.

I don't see your scars Nyx

You are beautiful

I promise you that, I won't let them take you away and I won't let them hurt you. I won't hurt you either, I promise.

I will never let anything happen to you nor will I hurt you Nyx, I promise you.

The one who had promised not to hurt me, he hurt me the most. He promised not to let them hurt me but he did worse.

I closed my eyes, feeling the warm tears slide down my cheeks as I dug the blade in again and cut a deep long strip.

The water was bloody now, I was bathed in my own blood, my heart ached and so did my whole body. I could feel myself getting weak, I could feel myself giving up.

I am sorry, I whispered again as my head fell backwards and I began to sink into the tub welcoming the darkness that enveloped me.

Finally, I will have peace.

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Since I posted before due time, let's do 6.6k reads, 1k votes, 25 comments 🥰🥰🥰🥰