I was at Kayla's house, picking up a book I'd wanted to read. I could hear her rummaging upstairs, the floor creaking as though there were two bodies up there instead of only one.

I was right; there were two people upstairs, because in the next moment, Noah accompanied Kayla. He positioned himself some way away from me. Kayla glanced between us, pressing her lips together as though urging us to talk.

"Hey, Noah."

"Hi."

I paused, regaining my composure. He looked perfectly fine now, if not a little sheepish. I guess werewolves healed fast and it had been a very long time since the incident. "How are you?"

"I'm goo. You?"

I shrugged, "I'm okay."

We lapsed into silence, before I decided to clear my conscience. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. I know things will still be-" I glanced away. "Weird, but I'd like to try for a small piece of normalcy, if you wouldn't mind. I think we both deserve a break."

He shot me a small, surprised smile and I felt slightly better, despite the fact that he was careful not to be any closer than 5m away from me at all times. "I'd like to try for that too. It's just kind of hard when your pack hates me."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm not part of a pack."

Kayla broke in, frowning. "Of course you are. Since you and Aiden are mates, you're technically part of the Silvermoon Pack."

"I suppose so." I mused, "but I don't hate you. And who gives a damn about what they think – this is between us. It's not right for other people to constantly make our business, theirs. And I'm fairly certain they don't hate you – well, not anymore. The Silvermoon Pack and Pinewoods want to make peace, right?"

Noah pondered upon this for a moment. "I guess. But that doesn't lessen the guilt."

"Noah. Stop – what's done is done. I'm over it." I dismissed the matter. As stupid as that may have made me sound, I was sick of looking to the past all the time. It made me ill just thinking about what happened.

I stepped forward so I had crossed the boundary line between us and struck my hand out. He hesitated, glancing at Kayla. I spied Kayla smiling, her features softening with relief. He took my hand, after a moment worth of hesitation, and I smiled widely, grasping his hand and tugging on it firmly.

"Friends?"

"Really? Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Frenemies?"

He smiled gently, and nodded, suddenly looking younger. He still looked a little like the Noah I'd first met whilst waving around a pack of condoms, so that made me feel like I'd done something good. "Sure."

I finished reciting my encounter with Noah, careful not to be sparse with any detail to Aiden who merely nodded and tried for a smile but looked like he'd be sick instead. He looked ill.

I felt sick watching him.

We were sat in the clearing after reaching here in silence and were currently exchanging catch-up on one another's occurrences in the past month.

"I'm glad you sorted things out with him."

"You are?"

He shrugged. "It's good that you're sorting out things on your end. I suppose I'll have to do that some time as well."

Words lingered on my tongue, but I shook them away. "I suppose."

He spoke suddenly. *"You know, my mother left me something before she died. Not that she knew she was going to die - but my father gave it to me before I left with Kaden. Maybe he thought there wasn't a chance that I could come back from it and felt bad for me." Aiden spoke out towards the clearing, his tone mild and lacking all previous signs of hurt when he spoke about his mother.

"Really?"

"It was her favourite constellation book. I think she was going to give it to me for my birthday, but never got the chance to."

I pressed my lips together, reaching out for his hand. It was cold and his slim fingers shook with a sort of delicate purpose. I placed my palm on top of his hand and then placed my other hand underneath. I held it gently; it was as though a heartless sculptor had carved this him so carefully and then abandoned it, forgetting to fill it with life.

"It's the memories that count. You had a mother who was loving and caring and everything you can only hope to embody – isn't that what matters?"

"You know what was written in the inside of the cover?" He carried on, oblivious, "she said that she was proud of me. That I deserved her little secret. That I'd grown up. It was her secret book – it was a piece of her - she was going to share it with me." He sounded so much like an innocent child, that my heart twisted.

"Secret book?"

"I thought the book was special. She would thumb through the pages for days on end, but never let me look at it. She said I'd have all the time in the world to look at it one day, just not yet. That was supposed to be a gift for my thirteenth birthday, I suppose." He fell silent, knees drawn up.

"Hey," I released his hand and it rose mid-air, all feelings of animosity vanquished by his sudden vulnerability. "Treasure it." Then, my hand brushed the curling hair at his forehead away, running the hilt of my palm along the planes of his cheek. "She loved you. She always will." He shut his eyes.

"Thanks, April."

"There's no need to thank me." I whispered back.

His tone became lighter, his eyes clearing. "Who was that guy?" Aiden's tone was edged with mild amusement and something else I couldn't quite decipher.

"You mean Slap? The guy who offered me a ride?" I'd thanked him after I agreed to go with Aiden and he left in his car. "Why? What about him?"

"Who was he?"

I couldn't help but feel my stomach flutter slightly with hope: was he jealous? It was a twisted thing to be happy about, but it made me believe that there was still an Aiden underneath those layers of vacancy that cared. "He's a friend. Sorry, I should have introduced you two."

He turned to me, his eyelashes impossibly dark against even darker pupils. "Was he someone I needed to be introduced to?"

"It would have been nice if you did. He's a cool guy."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"At a club," I replied, unaware of how reckless I sounded. I bit my tongue, glancing at him sidelong.

His voice was pleasantly amused. "You went to a club? And you didn't get caught? Seems like we both changed a lot about our personalities this past month."

"Alcohol isn't part of your personality," I said sharply, "and it was a mistake – I was tricked into going by Nina and Kayla. I met him at the bar and he turned out to be pretty cool. He's one of those people that you see once and suddenly they're everywhere. I was sitting in one his therapy session when you arrived on the scene like the freaking Grim Reaper. It was... enlightening."

He stifled a chortle and ducked his head. "He looks... older."

I frowned. "That's insulting."

"I mean, he looks like he's in his mid-twenties. I though you only made friends with OAP's."

I scowled. "Well, looks like I changed that too." A terse moment passed between us, before I added: "You know, I'm fairly certain he prefers you to me – looks wise, anyway."

Aiden stared at me. "What?"

"I said that he finds you attractive. You know, you have the whole tortured, bad-boy look –" I addressed his perplexed expression, "Look, I'm paraphrasing here. I'd never label you like that."

"He – he finds me attractive?"

"He's into guys," I explained, "he has a boyfriend, but I guess when he when he sees a pretty boy, he'll act like any sane person would." He flushed, his cheeks slightly pink – the first sign of colour, I noticed happily.

Aiden raised his eyebrows at my statement, however. "A sane person would...?"

"Tell their friends straight away," I said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He looked slightly relieved if anything, but said no more.

Then he turned to stare at me so intently that I felt myself draw back - so intently that my stomach knotted. His eyes bore into the side of my face, as though he was drinking in a sight he would never see again.

Mustering all of my courage and swallowing how electric he made me, I looked downwards, whispering: " I guess I should be content with you being here, alive and well." The last word choked my throat because it clearly wasn't true, but I carried on. "But that doesn't silence my curiosity. I feel it's my responsibility to question you, to worry and fret. I'm selfish like that."

"You really want to know? After everything I did?"

"Why not?"

He didn't reply, but turned away from me as suddenly as he had turned to look at me. "I – I went down to a cabin I used to go to when I was young with Kaden. He offered to look after me because I guess he's the only other person who knew me well enough to control me apart from you and maybe Diego. I just wanted to quit. I thought it'd be easy, being a werewolf and all." His words came out like a blow to the stomach. He sounded like he hated speaking, but forced the words out anyway. "It wasn't. I was bad – really bad. I couldn't think of anything else but it – I felt selfish that my mind was on the bottle and not you. I hated myself for that. Kaden kept me reigned in, isolated from the world and all. After the first few weeks, I calmed down and realized it was futile to fight it, so I gave up. I guess Kaden thought I was ready after that - he thought it'd be safe for me to get back to reality and that I wouldn't be tempted as easily since the worst of the symptoms had passed."

"And you're back," I sounded like a lost child, trying to find its way back to what was familiar. "You're here and we've had the customary fight; you're here and you're safe. That's all that matters."

"Does it?" I ignored the vacancy in his tone and swiftly changed topic again, my eyes lingering on every corner, plane, angle of his face, intent on not missing one single thing.

"You stopped eating?"

"April, stop avoiding my question. And I wasn't really hungry. The sight of a meal made me feel sick."

I pressed the back of my hand against his cheek where I'd slapped him and found hollows – "but you're back. I'm here," I reminded him gently, "you're fine, right? You're out of that place now, I'll make sure of it, I swear."

"Ap," he groaned, "it's so hard to be around you." I flinched. "I can't be around you when I know you just might leave like everyone else. You can't keep making these promises – I don't want you to have to break them."

It felt like he just wounded me. I felt my throat constrict with realization at what he was saying. Surely he didn't really think that I was like that? Right? "B-but-"

He turned to look at me, his eyes two seas of emptiness."You don't have to justify yourself. I understand."

Anger filled me suddenly, every single one of my nerves burning with injustice and unfairness. He was not going to screw me over like this and make me feel guilty again. No. He wasn't right – I had to make my point. He could give off this attitude to anyone and everyone and they would take it and leave him, but I was not. I had had enough – all of this running around in mad circles was making my head pound. I was not going to wait another second, nor day, let alone month to get a move on.

"I am trying my best here, Aiden!" My voice was louder than I anticipated. "I don't know what I really want for the future but I know I want you. I love you – I say it and say it, but it's like speaking to a wall, because you never seem to hear me. I say I'm here and that I'll help you and love you no matter what and you still don't trust me and think I'll screw you over. Well I'm not! And I won't!"

And with that burst of anger out of the way, I pressed my lips to his as though he was my elixir to existence. He nearly toppled over, but regained his balance after a few moments and held me gently, as though I was still the delicate one. I responded by pressing my fingers deeply against his sharp shoulder blades, feeling the resistance of the tensed muscles underneath them. I had missed him so badly.

I reclined into him, ever so gently, my fingers exploring the angles of his face, the planes of his collar bones, the feeling of his hair between my fingers. Then, he succumbed and kissed me back firmly.

I found myself tugging at his t-shirt, feeling the hard angle of his abdomen, the feel of the familiar scar on his back, the hilt of his ribs, the cool warmth of his skin burning my palms. But the best thing was hearing his pulse racing in time with mine. He responded to me slowly, purposefully, his arms rising to encircle me now.

"Ap, you may want to slow down." He leaned back, his voice wobbly.

"Never." I said, closing the space between us again.

After a few moments, or minutes – I couldn't really keep track of time - I leaned back, breathing heavily. I stared into his eyes; droplets of gold, black giving way to grey and flourishes of emerald, reanimating back to life. I could be trapped within his eyes for a lifetime, and be perfectly content with that.

I stared at him readily and he stared back somberly. I toyed with the hem of his shirt and looked up through my eyelashes. I could feel his heart racing in time with mine; placing my hand over his chest, I listened to its rapid beat carefully, my brow furrowed.

"Ap-"

"Aiden. I don't just love you – I'm in love with you. And I trust you completely."

"April, I can't do this –"

I placed my finger on his lips, slightly swollen and red.

"Aiden, let me see your hurt." I whispered. He looked like he was about to protest again but I pulled upwards at the cotton hem of his t-shirt. He looked at me again, searching my eyes and a small, slightly scared smile pulled my lips up.

Then, he helped me and slipped off his shirt himself. I pressed against his skin worriedly, feeling his stomach and hard abdomen. His skin was a wan gold, stretched thin as paper over tense cords of muscle. I didn't just want to fool around; I wanted to see him – see what had happened to him this past month. The tattoo sprawled across his ribcage looked elegant and too large for his slender frame now. I ran my fingers over it, feeling the hilt of his rib cage underneath. I sat back, my eyes grazing him worriedly.

Then, my lips pressed against the hollow of his collar bone, shivering at the cavity left behind, the hard feel of his bones. He hesitated, before he began to pull my t-shirt off slowly, gently. But he paused again, waiting for my permission. I smiled, hiding my nervousness and nodded slightly.

I had never bared my skin to anyone like this and felt embarrassed and nervous. I still had a singlet on underneath, but I still felt... different. Like I was baring too much. But this is Aiden. But this wasn't like movies, where everyone is ready for the camera with a flat stomach, beautiful skin and lack of imperfections.

"You are beautiful, April." Aiden said solemnly. My eyes flickered open at the truth edging his tone. "Every single of inch of you is beautiful to me. There's no question about it." I glanced down at myself and felt my stomach knot.

"You have literally turned primal since I left, haven't you? Geez, being deprived of me only made you hungrier." He smiled at me crookedly, his eyes shining with arrogance.

"Oh shut up."

"What? It's totally true! I mean look at you, you're just, like, taking advantage of me. I feel so helpless." He pretended to try and cover up but I scowled at him.

"Sure."

"Please don't violate me, Evans."

I shot him a sweet smile. "Don't egg it on then jerk."

We were in complete isolation, shielded from the outside world. It was only us and the clouds. Then, his smiling lips were on mine again, and every single doubt, worry and morsel of guilt was swept away in the wave that crashed over me and plunged me into a world only me and Aiden shared. Before I knew it, I was lying on the grass, with him hovering above me, the fading sunlight casting his face into a tetra-tinged halo, his expression returning to the one I loved so dearly.

Now we were leaning on our backs on the soft grass, his hands gently playing with my hair, almost lulling me to sleep. I had more respect than to do anything more in an open meadow – hell, I was taking things one step at a time and wasn't about to jump a few steps to the end - despite being completely safe from eyes and people. Who knows, maybe the trees were scowling down at our teenage recklessness. What a sight we were.

Plus, my phone had erupted into noise halfway through our 'teenage recklessness' and I'd practically jumped, scared lifeless. It was my mother on the line demanding to know where I was. I told her I was staying over at Nina's, which technically wasn't a lie since I probably would go to her house after.

But after that, I didn't really feel like doing much else, and instead, was content with leaning into him and breathing in his familiarity.

Then, I shut my eyes, and waited for night.

* * *

He taught me the constellations after that, our heads pressed up together, arms laying side by side, legs touching, fingers interlaced. A chill had settled in the early night air and our t-shirts were no longer discarded – his jacket rested around my shoulders, but I pulled it around us both. I was stupid to have left mine behind and it was equally dumb that one should suffer for another's folly.

I titled my head to one side, savouring the way he spoke of the stars that glittered in the velvet sky, the way they shone down and were born. The way they were caught in his eyes like jewels and made him look so young. The way he spoke of them with the utmost respect and admiration, a battered book pressed against his chest, its pages flickering in the wind but still fiercely protected by his careful watch. I shut my eyes and listened to his breathing, his voice and heart beat and waited a small smile on my face.

I waited until daylight chased away night and we would eventually trudge our way back to normalcy.