"Oh crap." I muttered under my breath as I stared down at the envelope in my hands.

In my hands was the letter that would eventually lead to my doom. No, I'm only joking, it was worse. It was a letter regarding my US visa. I squinted at the letters; I was struggling to understand the technicality of the words, but I understood this much: my visa was running out very soon. Probably in about three or four months. I'd received letters in the past, but I'd forwarded them onto my parents to sort since I was still underage and my parents had arranged the technicalities in the first place.

"Damn it." I growled, my hand clenching by my side. Just when things were going good, a stupid visa had to come in the way, didn't it?

A small knock came from the door. "Er, one minute!" I yelled, my eyes frantically seeking a place to hide this letter. I didn't want this to ruin the momentum the wedding was creating.

Once I'd wrestled the letter back into its envelope and shoved it into the cupboard, I called for the person behind the door to come in. The door creaked open and Aiden stood behind it.

"Is it cool to come in?"

I nodded. I didn't want to tell him yet; not now, not ever. Maybe I'd be able to sort this out and extend my stay here for longer? But how much longer? And wouldn't I be evicted soon anyway? I only applied for a student visa. Unless I were to apply to stay here for life... but then what about my family back home? My head ached just debating it.

"Ap? Hello?" Aiden's hand was waving in front of my face and I jumped, my heart pattering crazily in my chest. I waited for it to calm before sinking down onto the bed.

He kicked the door shut with his foot and inclined down next to me. I joined him so we were lying side by side, our legs half hanging off the end of the bed and tangling together. His cold hand rose to brush the side of my cheek. I shut my eyes at the sensation and felt a pool of gold forming in my stomach.

"What's wrong?" His lips were barely touching the tip of my ear now.

I turned abruptly so our faces were practically touching and stared him in the eye, watching as the emerald merged into an abyss of grey, small specks of gold lighting his irises up like golden fire. I would never look away, I decided to myself.

"April? Are you even listening to me?"

"I didn't even realise you were speaking." I admitted.

He grinned. "I wasn't."

I shut my eyes and leaned my forehead against his, savouring this moment. I don't want to leave him. I don't want to leave at all. "Hey," his finger propped my chin up so my head was titled up towards him. "What's wrong?" He repeated, pouting.

I shut my eyes again. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." I lied through my teeth, a small knife twisting in my stomach as I did so. I squeezed my eyes shut even more and bit down on my lip. I couldn't look him in the eye. If I did, he'd instantly know.

"Have you done your bit for the wedding? It's in four days now." Aiden groaned, rolling back onto his back.

"I'm in the process of buying the ingredients for the cake." I retorted, grateful that he had changed the topic.

"You know," he began furtively, glancing sidelong at me, "I've never actually seen you bake before."

"Because," I shot back, "you've always liked to shoot down my dream."

He laughed and sent me an apologetic pout. "I'm sorry. You know I just used to do that for the hell of it. And because you're pretty entertaining when you're angry."

We were lying side by side again, our arms brushing against one another. I turned again so I was on my side, head propped up by my hand. I couldn't bring that letter's words to my lips; every time I did, it felt like the words bubbled in my mouth and melted away like acid, scathing me in the process.

A sudden thought struck me. "Aiden." He hummed in response. "It's your birthday soon."

His expression didn't change – not even one muscle twitch to indicate a sign of excitement. Only the small sign of boredom as he sighed unimpressed by my skills of observation.

I frowned. "Do you not like your birthday? Or is this just part of your personality?"

"It's a day. It doesn't really bother me much."

"So... you don't like your birthday?"

"It's not that I've developed some undying hatred for the day my existence came into play. I'm just... neutral about it." He shrugged one shoulder awkwardly.

I poked him. "Well, I'm kind of glad you're existence came into play."

"Kind of?"

I smiled sweetly. "Hmm hmm. You're not that great, Aid. Sorry."

"That's not very nice," he pouted. Then, his two hands gripped my stomach and begin to tickle. Instantly, I sat up straight, shrieking. Aiden was now beginning to full on tickle me despite my half-angry protests. My hands thrashed out to find his and once I found them I gripped them and flipped over. I turned and held both his arms captive, my leg landing back onto the mattress so I was balanced. Now, Aiden was fully in my grasp.

"You shouldn't have done that!" I laughed, risking to release his arm to wipe away happy tears before quickly moved to pin down his unresisting arm again. When someone tickled me, the fun soon turned to full on Blackopp combat.

He stared back at me seriously. "Ap, I can't think straight with you... sitting like this."

I frowned and glanced down and felt heat rush to my cheeks. I was straddling him, my legs either side of him so that he was trapped underneath me. I instantaneously began talking nonsense.

"Not that I mind." Aiden added, breathlessly, his hands grabbing onto mine again. He sighed. "April. Stop moving." I stopped what I was doing, which was currently, blathering on about menopause for some reason and gulped, looking everywhere but at him.

He sat up straight abruptly, meaning we were official chest to chest and face to face. "Sorry... I'll umh, just move."

But his arms were firm. He grinned, sensing how uncomfortable this made me feel. "Actually... I quite like this arrangement." I wanted to slap his face so badly in that moment; he was all smiles and confidence. I tried to move away more resolutely this time.

"Aiden." I stared him square in the eye. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"That's exactly why I love you."

I looked down, avoiding his eyes. "You're... experienced."

What? There was no other word for it. "You've probably had dozens of girls do this to you before. Willingly. Who know what they're doing and all." I mumbled embarrassed at what I'd just admitted.

"April. I would never hurt you or put you in a position where you feel helpless. You know that. And do you think that I care or cared about those girls? No. I care about you. Not them. They're history."

"So you have had dozens of girls who have done this to you." I argued.

"I barely remember their names."

"That's rude."

He nodded and half-hummed, his eyes trained on my lips. Which, by the way, I didn't think were that interesting. Or attractive since they were probably dying for chap stick.

"May I?"

It was déjà vu from the first night he'd asked my permission to kiss me and though we'd kissed countless times after that time, a shiver still ran down my spine at the sincerity lacing his tone.

I smiled faintly. "You may."

Every kiss, with no doubt, was as exquisite and breath-taking as the first.

The same uncontrived feelings of nervousness; the slight shake of my fingers, the vivid memory of how Aiden smelled so good, how my entire body was fire and ice at once, leaving me numb, how Aiden tasted of breakfast, how my arms found their place around his neck.

He bit down on my lower lip, and suddenly, I was lying on the bed and he was atop, his lips pulled up in that crooked smile. The tetra-tinged sunlight filtering in through the lace-netted curtains cast an halo above his hair and sent flames to set his hair. In that moment, his skin was glowing; he looked half angel, half devil – beatific and mischievous. And both appealed to me equally, I thought guiltily.

His arms were either side of me, trapping me. But I didn't really feel trapped, because to be trapped, you would have the desire to escape which I had none of whatsoever. My body tensed at the cold of his fingers pressing gently into the bare skin of my stomach. His hand had slipped under my t-shirt teasingly and my eyes flickered open to find him staring at me intently, seemingly unfazed by it all.

"April. I can't do this to you." He whispered faultily.

"You won't. I trust you, Aid." I whispered back. Aiden made me feel safe, not vulnerable. And I knew him. He wouldn't do anything without permission first.

His head dropped after waiting for confirmation and buried in the crook of my neck, hitting a soft spot I never knew I had. His hand slid up my t-shirt, the cold leaving behind a knowing trail of goose bumps despite his body heat. I froze as it continued upwards.

Instantly, his hand whipped away and he stared at me innocently, his eyes clouding over with so much guilt that it made my eyes ache to watch him move away. I grabbed him again before he could curse himself and sat up straight, surprised that my body was actually willing to listen to me this time.

"I – I'm just not used to it." I explained awkwardly.

"Ap, I don't want to push you or hurt you. And I swear I won't."

"And you're not." I interrupted, "you're not... it's me." I admitted nervously, laughing slightly to lighten the mood. I titled his head towards me with one finger gently guiding his chin and kissed him on the lips.

He began shaking his head but I shoved him, glaring.

Then, I replied to his doubts by planting small kisses along his jaw line and the sharp hilt of his collarbone that protruded so dangerously. After that... well, the sensation carried on for a while and I sat upon cloud 9 for a while longer in absolute bliss. And the only time we really stopped was when Aiden had finally reached the inevitable place: the place just above my jeans, where his fingers finally rested to massage the slight rise of my hip bone. I felt my body freeze and my eyes slowly opened again. He understood.

And he stopped when I asked him to because hell - I was liking things just the way they were now, but I didn't want it to go any further. I wasn't stupid and nor was I ready for anything more – you know the saying; don't bite off more than you can chew.

And it would take time for me to be ready. But this was a step in a direction I wanted to go in. And no further. Yet.