Akira

Dahlia lounges on my lap. "Akira can do that," she shrugs at Ethan. "Can't you Akira?"

Ethan rolls his eyes. "Is there anything he can't do?" He asks sharply.

She shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe. Maybe something."

I smile and kiss her head. "I'm going to take you out tonight,"

Dahlia grins, nuzzling her nose into my neck. Her full lips brush against my neck, her hand running to my chest. She smells so good. I thought after being with her for so long, that my obsession would fade.

It hasn't. Her scent drives me crazy. Every time she touches me, I want her more. She's driving me crazy. Why haven't I settled? I have her. She's mine. She loves me. She adores me, her body next to mine all the time.

Shouldn't I feel relieved now? Shouldn't I be calming down? I thought I would be simple. I never expected to fall out of love or love her any less.

I just thought...it would be a little less intense.

Dahlia murmurs in my ear. I want to fuck her. Right now. Lay her down on this table. Marry her. More. More. What do I want? What's more than what I have?

"I can't wait to go out with you," she whispers with a small smile. Her cheeks heat as she looks away, linking her pinky with mine under the table talking to Ethan once more.

I look down, my heart pounding inside my chest. Who even..am I? I'm not like this. This erratic. I...I blinded myself for her.

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I look down at her. She's grinning, laughing at something Ethan says. My stomach turns. I love her.

But I think...I wish we could be strangers again. I don't think I know who I am with her. Dahlia, shifts closer to me.

"A piano," she closes her eyes gently. "You really play?"

Ethan nods. "Since I was a child."

"I've always wanted one. Was it hard to learn?"

Without thinking my phone is in my hand. I order her a piano, my brow furrowed. I've been in a haze for so long. But is this...me? I'm sensible. Calm. I think through everything.

I don't take random untested drugs to blind myself, I don't make rash unnecessary purchases because of a passing comment.

She's dangerous to me.

"Is everything okay?" She asks gently, kissing my cheek.

I nod softly, forcing a smile on my face. "Of course."

A small frown takes her over. "Are you sure?"

Ethan stands, excusing himself quickly.

"Yeah," I nod again. "Fine really."

Dahlia sits up straight, shifting away from me. "Oh...okay."

My hand twitches but I let it go. It's...better. The distance between us keeps widening. It took a single instance of doubt for her to pull away.

But maybe it's for the best.

No matter how much I hate it.

I can't think straight when she's here, right next to me like that. Dahlia gets up to walk Ethan out, silently, ducking behind her hair as she does.

I watch her carefully. They talk until she closes the door behind him. She lingers by the door for a moment, playing with her hands. I don't say anything and neither does she. The space between us has grown. I open my mouth, and then shut it. I'm not sure what to say, really.

Dahlia purses her lips, her eyes on the floor. "Um...you know what I uh...I actually don't feel good."

I nod. "Okay. I hope you feel better soon."

She smiled ruefully before nodding back, slipping past me and into the guest room.

The guest room. I let our shuddering breath and then look down at the folder I'd put in front of her. I do business with a clear head for the first time in a very long time.

Every once a while, my eyes lift towards that closed door. And then I look away.

• • •

A few days pass. I get some things done. Take my time getting myself together. Dahlia stays in the guest room. She doesn't come out.

Not for anything. I leave her be. I think we just need some space right now. It's not bad, is it? It's just a lot? The way we are.

But I want to see her. I just need my fix for a moment. I poise my hand over the door to knock, before deciding to just open it.

There she stands, her back to the door. I inhale her scent with a smile. I missed her. I come up to her, putting my arms around her waist, kissing her shoulder.

"Feeling better?"

My eyes drop down to the bed. A suitcase is open and full.

"What's this?"

She stiffens. "Um, I'm getting called back to work. That stomachache finally went away so..."

I swallow roughly. "What?"

She shoulders away from me carefully, putting herself in the corner of the room. "Yeah. It's time for me to go home."

Home. This is her home.

"You mean back to the bedroom right? I don't know why you were even in here really," I chuckle, pulling her hand. "Come on, I'll help you move your stuff back—"

"To the states, I mean." She says behind me.

I freeze. I know I was a little abrupt and maybe a little cold but it was for a few days. Just a few days! Why?!

"Don't be silly, Dahlia."

She doesn't say anything. Her slender fingers eases the suitcase from my hands, zipping it up.

I watch her for a moment. She pulls her hair up, slipping into her flats. The ones she had when she came here. Matter of fact...the only things in there are what she came with isn't it?

"I know I was a little distant, Dahlia but I think this is an overreaction," I frown, my agitation inundating my tone.

She says nothing, extending the handle, rolling it past me.

I grab her hand, making her sigh. "I told you, I just have to go back to work."

"That's a lie,"

She pulls away from me. "Let go, Akira."

Ha...I just wanted a little while. I never wanted her to leave. I just needed a few days to compose myself.

I follow after her as she starts moving toward the door.

"Dahlia, Dahlia, wait listen, hey! Talk to me!"

She stops and turns around. Her face is even. Where is all that love? It was just there? It's been...8 days what happened?

"There's nothing to talk about. I have to go back to work. I don't work in Japan. That's all."

I scoff. "You could at least tell me the truth, Dahlia."

She gives me a sullen nod. "I felt you go cold and push me away. Shut me out. I don't want to deal with that again. So I'm leaving."

She turns around, opening the door. I shut it. "Okay...I know I just needed a minute, Dahlia, that's all."

"I understand that."

"So that's it? I make one mistake—"

"It wasn't a mistake though. I watched you do it. On purpose. You decided for some reason that...you didn't want me. So you shut me out. You shut me out, and ignored me for over a week."

She shrugs. "So..."

I nod. "I can't think around you, Dahlia. I just needed a minute without you."

She smiles. "Okay. I'm going to give you unlimited minutes without me."

My stomach sinks, and anger rises. "I didn't ask for unlimited minutes."

"You didn't ask for anything. You just left me. Mentally, emotionally just went missing. You could have told me you needed space. I can give you space."

"I'm sorry," I smile. I feel myself slipping. I don't know what I'm going to do if she keeps pushing away from me.

"It's okay. Everyone has their flaws you know? And mine is that I'm not very strong. And I really love you. So...I'm sorry. I don't want to deal with that."

I clench my jaw. "If you love me, then just come inside. I'm sorry, Dahlia. Okay? I'm sorry. Come inside now."

Dahlia looks away. The doorbell rings, surprising both of us. I open the door, pulling her back. It's the fucking piano.

I sign for it, instructing the delivery man to put it in the living room.

Dahlia looks at the piano, and nods, setting her suitcase. I sigh in relief. Oh, I was really afraid of what I might do. She rushes past me, my relief fluttering away, as she shuts herself in the guest room once more