What. The. Hell.

I stared out the window of the car, my heart racing. Bennett's words rang in my ears— I love you, I love you, I love you. Why did he say that? How could he say he loved me when he was the one who broke up with me? Why ask me to stay when a few hours earlier he'd told me to leave? Was I just supposed to go along with his mood swings? Whether it was his mother's doing or not, why did I have to be dragged along?

My hands balled into fists. It wasn't fair to me. Bennett had said he made his choice. He made it pretty dang clear. I was confused enough as it was. I kept telling myself to pin it off as drunken babbling, but there was that part of me that wanted it to be true. A very stupid, pitiable part of me.

"Are you okay, Henley?" Henry asked quietly.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm not good at, you know, emotions."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

My lip twitched, breaking my temper. Henry was too good of a person. "I appreciate it, but I really just want to get home and change my clothes. I'll have Ariana drop me off at my car tomorrow, so you can just bring me to my apartment."

"Okay."

I hesitated for a moment. "You're going back to Bennett's, right?"

I didn't miss the smile creep across his face. "I'm going back. Especially because you sound so worried."

"I'm not worried," I muttered, but there wasn't any conviction in my voice. As I was walking out of Bennett's house it'd taken all my will power not to turn around and go back to make sure he was okay. He could be alone for half an hour without hurting himself, right? If I stayed... I didn't know what would happen. Henry was better suited to take care of Bennett than I was right now.

"Bennett will be fine. This isn't the first time he's been wasted. Lee and him used to go out every week. And I'd be the one who had to carry them back to their house. You've seen how tall Lee is. Bennett is a lot easier to handle."

I snorted, imaging Henry trying to carry the Calloway brothers. Both were so tall and lean, it was hard to imagine scrawny Henry being able to handle it.

"I'm sure this was just a bad choice for a coping mechanism. Seeing Lee was probably a shock."

A thought suddenly hit me. If I thought Lee was dead, maybe— "Did Bennett know Lee was alive?"

Henry gave me a side glance. "Yes... why wouldn't he?"

The idea of Bennett's mother lying to him about Lee didn't seem too unbelievable. Still, it must have really hurt Bennett if just bringing up Lee's name messed with him. No wonder Sebastian was so adamant about me not mentioning. But then to see him all of a sudden... I couldn't blame him for getting drunk. Their family was so messed up.

It was half past midnight by the time Henry dropped me off at my apartment. Yawning, I stumbled inside, making sure to lock the door behind me. I'd had to pee for like the last hour so I hurried to the bathroom.

What I didn't expect to see, however, was Lee, shirtless and undoing the buttons on his pants. I froze, my mouth falling open. His entire face and neck turned red and he slowly began to button his pants back up. I realized I was staring and it felt like a bucket of ice water had doused me. I pivoted on my foot, quickly leaving the bathroom.

"Sorry!" I called over my shoulder.

In the safety my bedroom, I covered my face with my hands, crying out in embarrassment. First of all what in the world was Lee still doing here? Second, how was he so ripped? Third, why was I checking out my boyfriend's— ex-boyfriend's— brother? And last, what was up with my luck and bathrooms?

Sighing, I stripped out of my soggy clothing, tossing them by the door. Those would go straight into the washer. The water from the shower had rinsed them off, but seeing as how vomit was the nastiest thing you could get on your clothing, it was better to be safe than sorry.

My phone went off and I picked it up off my bed, seeing a text from Henry.

He's showered and tucked in. And he only threatened to fire me twice. I'm going to stay here to keep an eye on him tonight.

I rolled my eyes, but felt my muscles relax. Okay. And is there a reason Lee is still here?

His text back was immediate. Brandon said he could stay. I thought he asked you...

Brandon? When had he said that? I hadn't even seen the guy all day! Not that it really bothered me, but maybe we could've avoided the bathroom incident if I'd known Lee was here.

Another text from Henry fired off. I'm sorry. He doesn't really have any other place to stay. If it's really a hassle I can drive him out of town to a hotel.

No, it's fine. It just surprised me. Get some rest. Ten bucks says Bennett is super cranky tomorrow morning.

He generally is... ;)

Remembering Lee was indeed here, I figured I shouldn't stand around in my underwear. I managed to throw a t-shirt and pajama shorts on before there was a soft knock on my door. Peeking out, I saw Lee standing there wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, looking sheepish. He'd barely dried his hair and droplets fell onto the fabric of his shirt, wetting it. It was striking how much he and Bennett looked alike.

"Er, well..." he started, unable to meet my gaze.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here," I blurted out.

"No, I should apologize. This is your house. You should feel free to use the bathroom whenever you want."

I felt my face grow hot. "Maybe you should just lock the door next time."

Lee's face matched mine. "I'll remember that."

Still having to pee, I excused myself from the room, happy to have the moment to collect myself. The house was dead quiet and I peeked into the kitchen on the way back to my bedroom. "Is my brother here?" I asked Lee when I returned.

"No. Sebastian was the one who spoke to him on the phone. He's out with someone. I'm sorry I forget who—"

"Probably Ariana." I grimaced inwardly. Poor Sebastian. I wondered if he'd purposely asked Brandon to stay out tonight, even if it meant sending him off with Ariana.

Lee leaned against the door, putting his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. "Do you want to talk? I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"I do have a lot of questions," I agreed. "But I'm not sure if it's right to get information from you rather than Bennett himself."

"That depends on what your questions are."

"Well, some of them are about you."

"Then I'll be happy to answer them. Think of it as my repayment for letting me stay here."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're not paying rent?"

Lee's expression froze, his eyes widening. "Am I supposed to?"

Heh. He was just as gullible as his brother. "I'm just kidding. You're more than welcome to stay here, but why not just stay with Henry or Sebastian?"

"My mother is close friends with Sebastian's parents so if they found out I was here somehow, she'd find out. And since Henry barely has enough space for himself, I can't intrude on him."

"And Bennett?"

"Well, I don't think I'm prepared to face Bennett yet," Lee said with a sad smile. "I only went to his house to find you."

"Bennett wants to see you."

"I'm sure he does. I'm just too much of a coward to face him. The things he's gone through for me... I wouldn't know what to say to him," Lee admitted, shifting his weight.

I wrapped my arms around myself. What was with these two brothers? Both of them had some kind of martyr complex. It was obvious they both cared for each other a lot, but something was keeping them apart.

No, not something. Their mother. She uses one to control the other.

I guess I found my first question. "Why do you let your mother control your life so much?"

Lee's response was simple. "She's my mother."

"But you're a grown adult."

"You've met my mother. There's not much you can say against her. She's cruel, but she is caring. Even if she doesn't show it."

"Is she the one who sent you away?"

He nodded.

"Where did you go...?" I asked slowly, unsure if my question crossed the line or not.

"An inpatient rehabilitation center in California. I've been there ever since the accident."

I tried my best to swallow inaudibly. "Your accident?"

He tilted his head to the side and grimaced. "Well, I'm sure you know. An intended accident. I barely remember it, to be honest. I know I purposely wrecked the car, but after that, I don't know. I had a pretty bad concussion so they said there would be some memory loss. I was in the hospital and then shipped across the country to recuperate. And I haven't been invited to come back home."

I rocked on the heels of my feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Maybe this was too private to discuss with Lee. I wasn't sure what to say. I'm sorry? I'm glad you're okay? Compared to the situation, those felt like empty, pathetic words. I still remembered when Sebastian admitted that Lee had thrown himself in front of his car—

My thoughts paused. Wait. Sebastian said a car had hit Lee that night. But Lee was saying he crashed his car? Did Sebastian not know what actually happened? Or did he lie to me? What reason would he have for lying though?

"You don't have to be cautious around me," Lee said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm fine now. You don't need to worry."

"That's not it!" I said quickly. "Sorry, I just heard something else from Sebastian."

"About me?"

"Yeah. He, um, said you threw yourself in front of a car. Sorry for talking about you when you weren't around."

"Well you did think I was dead," he said with a hint of a smile.

"Haha... sorry."

"But no, I didn't throw myself in front of a car." His eyebrows pinched. "Why would he say that? I definitely remember everything before it happened. I was in my car. I'd just left the pub."

I shook my head. "No, maybe I just heard wrong. Sorry, I shouldn't have even questioned it."

"Why do you keep apologizing? You don't have anything to say sorry about. Do you feel nervous around me?"

My cheeks grew hot as Lee leaned toward me, raising his eyebrows. Of course I was nervous! I was alone with a guy a barely knew who happened to be Bennett's mysterious older brother.

"Is there any else you'd like to ask me?"

"Can I drive your Maserati?"

My question did its intended job. A laugh burst from Lee's lips, breaking the tension. He nodded, his grin as wide as his face. I smiled, enjoying his light-hearted expression.

"I'm glad you appreciate it. Benny was not very happy when I bought it. He's a BMW fan through and through."

"Your car is way better than his." I couldn't help but smirk at the nickname Lee chose. It so didn't suit Bennett.

"Don't let him hear you say that. He might break up with you." Lee registered his joke a second too late and his eyes widened.

"Now's a good time to tell him then, huh?" I said before he could correct himself.

"Are you really upset with him?"

"Yes, but as much as I don't want to admit it, I understand him. If I had to choose between Brandon and Bennett, I'd have to choose Brandon. We're family. So I can understand why he chose you over me. I just wish he could've explained that to me instead of just cutting me out."

Lee let out a soft sigh and shifted on his feet. I realized we'd been standing here for a while so I gestured for him to take a seat at the desk in my room. I sat opposite him on my bed, crossing my legs.

"Bennett has always been like that," Lee told me. "We're always told to be wary of those around us. Bennett is used to that. He never has to explain himself and he always takes things on himself. That's why I had to come back. I know what he's like and I don't want him to get to the point I did. Hearing about you is what helped me make the decision too."

"Me?"

Lee looked down, his hands clenching. "The first person he's let in he has to let go? How is that right?"

"So what's the plan?"

He lifted his chin back up, eyes twinkling. "That's what I like to hear. Are you willing to forgive him after everything?"

I tapped my fingers on my thighs, making a noncommittal hmm. "Well, he'll have a lot of groveling to do, but I'll forgive him. I've already forgiven him."

"Do you love my brother?"

It felt like my heart stopped, his question completely catching me off guard. A hot prickle ran down my back and I cleared my throat, trying to give myself time to think of an answer.

I love you.

Did he mean it? Or was he just drunk? Did I love him? I wasn't sure. But since I wasn't sure, did that mean I didn't love him? But that didn't sound quite right.

Lee chuckled and I turned my attention back to him. "Your inner conflict is written all over your face."

And for the billionth time, I found myself blushing in front of Lee. "I-I guess I don't know. I haven't really ever fallen in love before, so I'm not sure..." I trailed off, falling into a mumble. God, I felt like a child. A girl with her first crush. It wasn't too far off, but nonetheless cringe worthy.

"You'll know," Lee said confidently. "I can't give you a definite answer, but when you love someone, you'll know. Don't think about it too much. Love isn't in a rush."

I rubbed the back of my neck, biting back a smile. "This is too embarrassing to talk about. Let's change the topic."

Lee just continued to beam at me.

"You feel like an older brother."

"I am an older brother."

"Please give my older brother tips on how to be a better one."

"Well, perhaps I'll become your older brother too some day."

My mouth fell a little and Lee winked at me before falling into a fit of laughter.

Brothers.

_____________________________________

I've been thinking about making a spotify playlist for HTL. Does anyone have any song recs?

I just re-watched Healer and everyone should go watch it. And currently I'm watching Kill Me, Heal Me and My Shy Boss, and Strong Woman DBS. They're all amazing. Ahhhh.