《Hired To Love》Chapter Twenty-Six
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Light flooded the inside of Lee's old room as I flipped the switch. My throat constricted at the sight of his abandoned bed. Nothing ever changed. Not in the room, not in my heart.
Saying Henley could use Lee's room was easy. Thinking about Henley using Lee's room was a little less easy. Being in Lee's room... it wasn't easy at all. I wanted to keep it only for him. Keep it so he knew he had a place to return to.
Except I knew he wasn't coming back.
My hand clenched the handle and I fought the urge to slam the door and pretend the room didn't exist as I had been for the past half year.
Grow up, I scolded myself. Lee wouldn't want this. If I couldn't do this for myself, and if I couldn't do this for Henley, the least I could do it for was Lee. If Lee had been here, he would've offered up his bed the first night Henley had shown up. He wouldn't have forced her to sleep on that cramped couch.
Only now was I realizing how awful the couch must've been for her. And I was only realizing it because I didn't want her to leave. Lee always told me I was ignorant. He was right.
Steeling myself, I fully entered the room. I hated how it felt. Almost like when you walk into a cemetery and you hold your breath for reasons you can't understand.
Henley could change that. She could bring life into the room that I let die. I just had to accept the fact that this wasn't Lee's room anymore. And that was hard.
My hand traced the desk where Lee used to stay up all night, researching and planning for the hotel in Wailea. A fine layer of dust covered the tips of my fingers and I could see the trail wiped clean on the wood. There were scratches in the finish. Probably made from Lee's pens. He liked the sharp ones. They lasted the longest and with his workload, he needed something that wouldn't run out after going through dozens of documents.
The stale scent felt smothering, so I walked over to the window to let some fresh air in. Lee's telescope stood pointed at the sky and I smiled, remembering the nights we stayed up, identifying constellations. He had stacks of books around the room. Some about constellations, some about myths and legends, some about physics. He never stopped reading.
I stared at his bookcase, suddenly feeling like I was going to throw up. I realized I couldn't do this alone. It would have to wait until someone else was around to help me. If I were to go on like this, I'd drown in my thoughts and get nowhere.
Holding my head, I exited the room, closing the door a little too roughly behind me. I didn't want to get sick. Not today. I had plans with Henley. I didn't want my messed up emotions to ruin it. It was still early in the morning, since I'd prepared to clean the room before Henley woke up, so I could get in a few more hours of sleep to fortify myself.
"Are you okay?"
I jerked back, turning my head to see a sleepy Henley standing on the stairs, wearing one of my long sleeve shirts that were too big for her. Her eyes were squinted and it looked like she was struggling to stay awake. The feeling of unease was immediately washed away, replaced by one of fondness. She was extra adorable in the morning. "Did I wake you?"
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"No, I just heard something and came to investigate," she mumbled, covering her mouth as she yawned.
"Everything's fine. Why don't you go back to sleep?"
"I might as well try to stay awake. My back hurts. I don't want to go back on that couch." As if to prove her point, she grimaced, placing a hand on her side and leaning over.
I could only imagine. Even though she was small, the couch was smaller. There was no way she was getting a full nights rest on that. And how many nights had she been here for now? And all those times I didn't even think about how she slept? "You can sleep in my bed," I offered.
She went stiff, her eyes locking onto mine.
"I'll go rest on the couch," I clarified quickly.
She quickly shook her head. "I'm fine—"
"I insist—"
"The couch really isn't that bad—"
"It's fine—"
"Don't worry about me—"
"Henley."
Her lips snapped shut. "Okay."
Feeling a little triumphant, I turned back down the hall, hearing her padding after me. I opened my bedroom door and mentioned for her to enter. She seemed a little more awake now, but I could tell by the way she was walking she'd be able to quickly fall back asleep. She stood next to my bed awkwardly, watching me.
"Get in," I said.
She pressed her lips together, hesitating.
"I wash the sheets frequently, if that's what you're worried about."
She gave me one of her famous sarcastic looks, but the little blush on her cheeks made it less threatening. After a long second she slowly sat on the bed. Then she flopped down and sighed. "It's so comfortable."
"Okay. Rest up. I'll wake you up in a few hours." I begin to walk away, but a noise stopped me. Glancing back, I saw her patting the bed, her face pushed into a pillow. "What?" I asked.
She mumbled something into the pillow.
"What?"
"Come here!" she said loudly, pulling her face up from the pillow. "It's your bed. And it's not like we're strangers. We kissed. We can sleep together, can't we? Not in, you know, that sense. Well actually in both senses." Her face morphed into one of complete horror. "Why did I just say that?"
I laughed, covering my mouth too late to smother it.
Her face flamed. "Never mind. Get out."
I walked over to the other side of the bed, trying to keep my face even. It was cute how embarrassed she was. "It's my room."
"Now I'm too shy."
"Then just don't look at me," I responded, sitting on the edge of the bed. I waited, to see what she would say. If she wanted me to leave, I would.
But she didn't say anything.
I pulled the rest of my body on top of the bed, above the comforter.
In a quick motion she flipped onto her side, frowning at me. "You can get under the comforter. It'll be too cold with the air conditioner on."
With her facing me, I suddenly lost my confidence. I swallowed lightly, hoping she wouldn't notice as I gently slid under the blanket. We watched each other the entire time and I wondered what she was thinking. I wondered if she knew what I was thinking.
Something as innocent and common as this felt new and exciting, just because I was with Henley. I felt nervous. Like when I had my very first kiss. She made me feel nervous.
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I wanted to know if she was nervous.
When she suddenly moved closer to me, snuggling into my chest, I got my answer through the sound of her erratic heartbeat.
Smiling, I cupped the back of her head, petting her hair until I fell into the best sleep I'd had in a long time.
By the time I woke up again, it was around ten in the morning. My phone was buzzing on the side table and Henley had flung one leg over me and her head was resting on my chest. Her hair tickled my chin with each rise and fall of my chest. I tried to carefully reach my phone without waking her. "Hello?"
"Where are you?"
Henry. "I'm home," I answered him quietly.
"Are you on your way?" His voice sounded extra frantic today.
"I'm not coming in today."
There was a second of silence. "Why are you so quiet? Did you just wake up? It's ten in the morning, Bennett."
I glanced at the blonde sleeping on my chest. "I can't talk right now."
"You have to come in. Your mother is here today."
My head fell to the side in annoyance. "I don't care. Tell her I'm sick."
"You don't sound sick."
"Henry. If you really have to know, I'm going on a date with Henley today." I couldn't help the tiny smidge of pride bleeding into my tone.
"I'll tell her you're sick," Henry decided. "Leave the house at eleven, she has a meeting so there won't be a chance of her looking at the cameras."
"Thanks Henry. Good luck."
"I should be saying that to you."
He hung up first and I scowled a bit. Then I noticed Henley peering up at me, a sly smile her face. "You sound excited for today."
I could feel the blood rush to my face. She had been awake? "I'm not ashamed to admit hanging out with you is appealing to me."
"Good. I just hope you still think that after today."
"What do you mean?"
"I've got a great idea for our date," she said playfully.
When we pulled up to what looked to be an abandoned warehouse, I grew a little wary. Henley did live in a questionable part of town for a while. Who knows what ideas she could have gotten.
"What's your favorite childhood activity?" she asked me as I cut the engine.
I thought about it for a moment. Did solving math equations count as an activity? "Sometimes Lee would play baseball with me."
"Have you ever been go-karting?"
My nerves began to twist and a feeling of dread snuck through me. I looked at the building again. Now I could make out that one side of the entrance was a checkered flag. "Activities that could be dangerous were always ill-advised by my mother," I told Henley.
Henley rolled her eyes. "I think you mean anything fun was ill-advised by your mother. Come on, I promise it'll be fun."
I unbuckled my seat; suddenly very aware that the shirt I was wearing cost several hundred dollars. It hadn't occurred to me Henley would want to do something... interactive. My perfectly straightened jeans and smudge free shoes would feel out of place at a greasy track.
In an attempt to make myself look more normal, I tried to put wrinkles into my shirt. Henley raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything as she took my hand and led me into the building.
The air was chilly inside and smelled like motor oil and tires. I wrinkled my nose as Henley began to talk to the person working the counter. He gestured to a pair of computers and Henley told me to fill at the form. Once again, I felt nervous. Why did we have to fill out a waiver?
"You're not going to die," she commented, noticing my hesitation.
"I don't think I'm going to."
"Your face is whiter than the moon."
"The moon is actually grey," I informed her.
She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head. "Forget it. You'll be fine. Let's go watch the safety video. Pay close attention so you don't die."
The safety video was approximately five minutes long and full of unprofessional actors. However, the standard practice to use a go-kart was simple. It was safer than I imagined it to be. After watching it, we were given what looked to be a sock and Henley told me to put it on my head since the helmets we'd be wearing were shared between the public.
I wanted to leave after she told me that, but she forcefully shoved me to the track where I was handed a helmet and neck brace.
"Put the head sock on," she insisted, taking it from my hands and putting it on my head. I frowned at her and she burst out laughing. "Haha, you look really different with a hat on. Here's the helmet."
I took the helmet from her and put it on my head, allowing her to button the chinstrap for me. No one else was on the tracks. She quickly pulled her helmet on, tucking her bangs away so they wouldn't be in her face.
"You look pretty good with a helmet," she said, grinning at me. "Kind of badass."
No one had described me as badass before. I kind of liked it. With renewed confidence, I climbed into the go-kart one of the workers had gestured to. Henley sat in the one behind me and the worker gave us the break down on how the gas and brakes worked.
When the light in front of us hit green I gently tapped the gas, shocked when I shot forward. I could hear Henley laughing from behind me as I gently exited the run lane. As soon as Henley was able to, she shot past me, flying down the track. I pressed the gas a little more, wanting to catch up to her. The air whipped in my face, causing my eyes to tear a little. At the first turn, I slammed on the breaks, taking it gently. Because I was so low to the ground, it felt like I was going faster than I actually was. My heart thudded in my chest and I followed Henley with my eyes as she skidded around the corners with ease.
It didn't take long before she lapped me. She was flying through the course. I started taking the turns a little faster; pressing the gas all the way down and going so fast the kart began to shake. The more laps I completed, the more self-assured I became. Just as I thought I could catch up to her, she drew the checkered flag. I meekly finished my last three laps before pulling up behind her.
"My fastest run was 18 seconds. Yours was 28," she teased, turning back in her go-kart to face me.
"Are we going again?"
"You want to?"
I nodded. This time I wasn't going to let her win.
When the light turned green, she floored it out the gate. I immediately followed pursuit, right on her tail. My hands clenched the wheel tightly, but I wasn't going to let her win this race. I kept my gaze trained on her hair flying out behind her and soon enough, I managed to pass her on a corner. From there on out it was a toe-to-toe match. Every time I caught a glimpse of her face, her expression was different. She was laughing. She was determined. She was mad.
I found myself laughing more than I had in a very long time.
On the final lap, she managed to sneak by me on the last corner, winning her the race. As we climbed out of the go-kart she took off her helmet, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Loser pays for dinner."
I took off my own helmet and frowned. I'd almost beaten her. "You can't make a deal after the fact."
"Pfftt, look at your hair!"
I touched the top of my head, feeling my hair sticking in every direction. Turning from her, I smoothed it out. How unfair. Even after going forty miles an hour, her hair looked beautiful.
"Did you have fun?" she asked as we headed back outside. The warm July air felt refreshing.
I shook my arms, my muscles feeling stiff from yanking the wheel to the side so much. "It was enjoyable."
"I can't believe you've never been go-karting before."
"I didn't do much as a child," I said, unlocking my BMW. Walking to the passenger side, I opened the door for her. "Mostly it was learning about management and finances and following after Lee. I did track though, in high school."
After I climbed into the driver's seat she turned to me, seeming to comprehend something. "Track makes sense. You seem pretty athletic but you're not very bulky. I was thinking soccer."
"I'm rather muscular for my size," I defended.
"Alright, well, we'll put that to the test at our next stop."
Once again, I felt a looming nervousness. "And what is that...?"
"Rock climbing! Have you done it before? I haven't. I thought it'd be fun for us to try since it's around here," she said happily, flexing the tiny muscles on her arm. "I hope I can lift myself up."
I thought about my already aching arms and grimaced. But if that's what she wanted to do, I would do it. Turning the car on, I began to pull out of the parking lot, yanking too hard on the wheel and taking the turn too sharp.
She raised an eyebrow.
"I'm used to the go-kart handling," I mumbled.
She grinned and opened her mouth to respond, only to be cut off by her cell phone ringing. "Oh, it's Ariana one second. Hello?"
I watched as the smile slid off her face.
"How are you...?" Her voice cracked, barely coming out in a whisper. "Where are you? What? No. Stay there. I'm coming."
"What happened?" I asked. This time she was whiter than the moon. My first thought was my mother, but there was no way she knew what we were up to. Henry wouldn't tattle on us.
Henley held her cell phone tightly in her hand, staring down at her lap. "I need to go to Coffee House."
"Why? What happened?"
She glanced at me, her eyes round. "It's my brother. He's out of jail. He's at Coffee House with Ariana. What the heck happened? How is he out? How did I not know before? Why didn't he contact me? What's going on?"
Unable to answer, I remained quiet as I changed directions and we headed back into lower Poughkeepsie. The whole time she tapped her fingers on her thigh, staring out the window. I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I didn't know her brother. I didn't know what would calm her.
The minute I pulled into the parking lot she tried to get out of the car, while the car was still going. "Henley," I scolded as she reached for the handle. "Wait until I park to get out."
Not even a second after I shifted it into park, she unlocked the door and jumped out, nearly sprinting into the coffee shop. I sat in my car for a moment, considering the situation. Her brother, who had been in jail for the last couple months, had finally been released. This was their reunion. Maybe they wanted privacy.
But at the same time it was Henley's brother and Henley was my sort-of girlfriend. Maybe she could use the support.
Deciding on a bit of both, I waited in my car for a few more minutes. Then I climbed out, straightened my shirt, checked my reflection, and headed in. Four heads snapped in my direction.
Ariana, Henley, a guy I didn't know, and Sebastian.
I locked eyes with the man I assumed to be Henley's brother. They shared the same deep blue eyes and nose. And when his eyes narrowed at me, it felt familiar. Henley gave me that expression often.
What Henley didn't do, however, was lunge at me with the intent to kill.
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ANYWAY. OHDAFG I'M SO EXCITED TO GET TO THESE NEXT FEW PARTS. I'm happy to finally be able to introduce Brandon! And I legit can't decide whether I want to call him Brandon or Brendon lol. I keep forgetting which one I actually chose.
Also, anyone watching Doctor Crush? I started it and for once I really like PSH's character and can really feel the chemistry between her and the male lead. So I'm pretty excited for it.
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