《The Melancholy Of Yamamoto Yuuto》Chapter 23-Lost Will To Live

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That's it? That's what she was talking about?

The reply to that question was so simple that I didn't even think about it and said

”Isn't that some thing anyone would do, why are you so surprised about it?”

She pulled her head back and looked at me as if I told her some lame joke. She then became aggressive again and shouted

“What the hell are you talking about!? Nobody in their right mind would ever risk their life for a total stranger. Do you have a death wish?”

“Of course I don't want to die. I'm not suicidal”

“Then why did you jump in front of moving bus?!”

“To save you of course-Ouch!”

She kicked me in the leg

“Why did you kick me?”

She bit her lip in anger and told

“It's because you’re saying stupid stuff like that”

“I didn't say anything stupid! I just said I wanted to save you-Ow!-Ow!-Ow!-Ow!”

She kicked me repeatedly

I couldn't move my body and had no way to resist so I told

“Stop kicking me!”

“Then stop saying nonsense like that”

She didn't look angry or frustrated right now. Rather she looked like she was denying something. She looked like she understood what I was saying but refused to believe it for some reason

She then looked at me with sorrowful and concerned eyes and said in a soft voice

“Why did you risk your life to save me? l beat you up, said horrible things about you, told you to never approach her, almost reported you to the police and got you expelled. Don't you hate me? I was the one who caused all that trouble for you“

She was thinking of that? I thought she hated me but to think she felt bad about the things she did. It wasn't even her fault in the first place but she's taking all responsibly for it. I seriously misjudged this girl. It's just like what I did with Hina-san this morning. I'm such a piece of shit for blaming others when I can't even follow my own principles

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With an extremely depressed face that looked like it lost all hope in the world she said something that shocked me to the core

”You didn't have to save me. I don't deserve to be saved by anyone. You should've just let me die”

!!!!!

When I heard her say I should've let her die, I became infuriated and lunged myself towards her and shouted…

“NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN!”

…as loud as I could with a frenzied face

She quickly closed her eyes, retreated her head downward and blocked her face with one hand as if I was going to do something to her. I looked at her hand and it was trembling in fear

Although she was so aggressive before, the second I raised my voice she became a docile girl. She was terrified of me and didn't say a word back. Her lips were quivering and she was clearly frightened

Stupid me!

This girl is already traumatised by the accident and I just had to scare her more. I was just so angry when she said those words I blurted everything out. Right now I need to calm her down and just talk to her

I pulled back and said in the softest voice I could possibly make

“Calm down. I'm not going to do anything to you. I promise I won't shout anymore, so just relax and hear me out”

I thought she would hesitate to believe me but she took her hand from her face, opened her eyes and looked at me. She didn't look terrified like before but still looked a little shocked

“I'm sorry for shouting at you like that. I was just angry at you for giving up your life that easily. It irked me so much when I heard a girl who had her whole life ahead of her, tell stuff like that. That's just sad and should never happen. I hope you don't say things like that anymore since the people who care about you will feel sad if they heard that”

She then replied in a downcast tone

“I don't have anyone like that anymore, so it doesn't matter if I live or die”

!!!!!!

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