Regret is always coming at the most unfavorable time, isn't it?

If someone had known that the concept of regret at the beginning of their first breath, would life be much brighter and beautiful for the last moment- in the last time of your breath? Unfortunately, she doesn't know. That time, when the last breath of her life came... the vivid memories that she remembered was only the regrets and blood aroma.

It was so vividly strong aroma.

It was so vividly disturbing.

While in her last consciousness when people surrounded her to help her back to life. she was thinking while staring at nothing while asking into her heart.

'if I have a chance for asking God the second chance, will he give me?'

" Stay with me, ma'am! We are almost there!"

" Her pulse is slowing down!"

" Goddamn! There is an emergency patient inside! Listen to the sirene! This traffic-"

" Ma'am, hang in there!"

" Ma'a-"

.

It was a chaotic moment, they were all nervous. The lady that she did not know who was looking sincerely to her eyes, keep saying the same word. " Hang in there!" she was sincerely hoping for her to survive.

Then she smiled. A vain smile that she tried to put as to how she was happy with the sincerity that the woman gave to a mere stranger like her...

'I am sorry, but, if I do have a chance to ask God to give me a second chance to live... I will never ever try to ask in the first place.'

It will be terrifying.

The regrets were too much. She was not brave enough to even ask that.

'I am sinful.'

So just then, while tears came to her face, touching the blood in her head... she was slowly closing her eyes.

In that chaotic situation, the sound of the machine that connected to her heart went to a straight line and created a beep loud sound.

Then the world turns silent and dark.

then she died.

***

The concept of living is something that she never ever understand in her whole life.

Why she has to live in the first place?

What things that she should do in this life?

What achievement that she should get?

As far as she knows, life was just an empty and soulless place while at the end on that was a painful regret and a vividly disturbing blood aroma. Yet, even after going through life and death... she still does not understand the point of life nor she understands why now she could see two suns rise splendidly in the beautiful sky above her.

'This sky is surely beautiful even how many times I look at it.'

Then a strong breeze wind blows up to her and her brunette curly hair and her pile's dry clothes that she is trying to pick. Her dark brown eyes open up as soon as the wind goes gently, and she looks at her back to a small little kid that hugs her from her back. With a bright smile and the duplication of hers in the small version, with brunette curlier hair and dark brown eyes. They are so similar even with the freckles on both of their faces. The difference was just, her bed face was so spot on with her cute curlier bed hair.

" Sister!" She said while doing a little hand signing. " Are you done with your job?"

And she smiles and nodded. While then giving her sign language as an answer.

[ Yes, are you hungry?]

" I am!"

[ Let's have some breakfast, shall we?]

" Yes!"

And she smiles brightly as she picks her up and goes into a humble house. It does not look that great, in fact, it is an old wooden house with a medieval-styled far in the humble village in the mountain. Surely far from the civilized city but she could ensure that it becomes much better than the first time she came.

Yes. the time when she suddenly came to an unknown world after she thought that she was dead. After suddenly the world became dark and silent, a clear and blindly light come and hurts her eyes as she then tries to wake up in the most violent way.

her body was hurt.

her head was spinning so hard.

'Am I still alive?'

and she thought that she survived the accident. A little bit of disappointment and somewhat tiredness sparked in her deep heart. Yet, she was too painful to even think as she then tried to sort herself together in that condition. Then she was shocked while knowing that she was in the wooden bed inside a torn old wood house.

her heart was thumping so hard.

where am I?

While she then tried to look around, only to know that she was in the middle of the forest. Only to be shocked to see two suns rises in the bluest sky. She did try to seek help, but her voice never came out, she could not even hear anything. It was a dreadful silence in a chaotic situation. While she was looking around in the place she did not know, with a body that hurt and felt too different she then found a beautiful river that shows her reflection.

She was a little girl with brunette hair and black eyes that looked shabby and dirty.

a total stranger. a child that she did not know.

'what?!'

but not long after that, a man ran toward her with a baby with his hand. Seemed trying to call her, but she could not hear anything but knowing his worried face.

He suddenly approached her. hugged her and sincerely cried for her. Even though she knew nothing about this man, she just knew that the man was someone this girl she possessed loved dearly.

'My father.'

She never knew the image of the real father was, so she could never understand. yet, the feeling that she was feeling towards that man was the warmth that tore her tears away. She cried aloud in his embrace. After that day, slowly but surely... Irisha's memory came to her. Explaining all the things that happened to her.

She came to the conclusion that, maybe on the day that she died in the accident, Irisha Spes, a ten years old girl that suffered a chronic disease also dead too. Then somehow, her soul ended up in her little body. Of course, it did not sound real. Even until now, she could not find the right answer and only her own conclusion. Yet, all of Irisha Spes memories were only of her lying down in her wooden bed all day long while looking at the windows with two suns rose splendidly. She was born deaf and muted, her health was so poor. There was nothing she could do nor her family could do as they were just a poor family but, it was vivid in her memories that her family never gave up on her and smiles tenderly.

when she thought that this situation could not worsen enough, the day she came to this body was the day her baby sister was born and was the day her mother died for childbirth. It was a devastating situation...it was a truly painful story. '

No... it was a truly painful tragedy... as she was Irisha herself, she felt the pain greatly.

and maybe, it was too much even for her father.

It was too much for him to lose the one that he loved.

in 14th days after the death of her mother, her father died by dropping himself off a cliff.

It was tragic. It was devastating. For her, who just met a painful death to transmigrate and possessed a sickly and disabled child in an unknown world. To feel the painful loss of both of her parents that were tragically dead.

it was too much, was not it?

her own problem was painful enough for her to take, but then, she had to feel the pain of this child too?

'I don't even ask for another chance. is God joking with me?'

but surely, it was never another chance. It was just punishment. Yet, even she knew she is a sinful person. the hurt that she felt, the painful feeling that made her hard to even breathe was too much. To even cry loudly in the middle of nothing inside a skinny and disabled child body who could not do anything... was god really joking around with her?

'It is better to die.'

'Then all of the pain will go.'

In confusion, in the most devastating situation in her life. She walked into the dark and empty house to find a rotten knife. She was ready, surely she was. In the emptiness and the most world forest, she stood alone ready to stab her heart with her skinny and little hand.

but-

there was a movement.

she was seeing a movement in front of her.

A little tiny hand that moving in the darkness. She suddenly realized her sister's existence and suddenly dropped her knife and ran toward her crying baby. She was crying hard or seemed hard as she could not hear anything. But, as soon as she touched her, the baby was looking at her and smiled. She held her tight with her tiny hands and comforted herself as she hugged her in her embrace.

The warmth was real.

the warmth was so real.

As the night became darker, and the cold became colder. The warmth indeed was real.

***