Sitting still had been near impossible for Sarah all day. She was anxious and excited. She paced around the house, sitting down for a few moments but walking somewhere else after a few moments. She couldn’t focus on anything no matter how she tried. She glanced at the clock every few minutes. Hours passed excruciatingly slow.

It was dark outside when Sarah finished re-packing her bag for fourth or fifth time. She was going to Castiel’s where she’d stay over for the night. She had her new outfit in the bag along with pyjamas, toothbrush, and few other essentials. She had emptied the bag and rearranged the contents to pass time. Another glance at the clock. It was barely past six, but she couldn’t wait anymore. She’d go now.

A quick message was sent to Castiel to make sure he was fine with her coming. And of course he was. Castiel had been equally restless all day.

Sarah clutched her bag as she headed to the living room where mum and Steffie were watching tv.

“I’ll be leaving now,” she announced.

Mum glanced at her.

“Already?”

“I can’t wait anymore. I’m going crazy sitting here.”

“Hmm. Well I guess one hour doesn’t matter. Alright. Remember to stay safe. You can message me at any point, and I’ll come to pick you up.”

“I will. But you don’t need to worry.”

Sarah was sure everything would go wonderfully.

“I’m a mother. I always worry.”

“Well, good night,” Sarah said and waved at them.

“Good night. And remember to have fun,” mum said.

Steffie mumbled something that resembled a good bye. She was too focused on the tv show to care.

Sarah’s heart thumped as she pulled on her coat. She really was going to the town this late, and she really was going to spend the night at Castiel’s. It was so exciting. She was gaining the experiences everyone else had already got three years prior.

The walk to Castiel’s house was over fast. Sarah had held a brisk walking pace. The winter air pinched her cheeks bright red and made her breath fog. Her chest stung from the chilly air in her lungs as she tried to catch her breath on Castiel’s porch.

She knocked once and opened the door. She had avoided using the doorbell because its ringing excited Ares, and it didn’t do good for the dog to be jumping around. Although his leg was getting better, and he could walk free around the house for short amounts of time, Castiel still wanted to be careful.

Sarah was first greeted by Castiel’s parents who stood in the hallway. Audrey was wearing a black dress, and she was adding finishing touches to her make up. Franz pulled on his coat and scarf. He noticed Sarah first.

“Ah, Sarah. Nice to see you,” he greeted.

“You too. Are you going somewhere?”

Audrey smacked her lips a few times and slipped her lipstick in her purse before turning to Sarah.

“We’re going spend an evening with our friends. Some good food, perhaps a little bit of wine… Was there a taxi waiting outside?”

“I didn’t see one,” Sarah said while hanging up her coat.

Castiel appeared at the hallway as well with Ares on a leash. The dog tried to flounder towards Sarah the second he noticed her.

Sarah smiled and walked to Castiel, who pulled her to a quick kiss. Then she leaned down to scratch Ares behind the ears.

“We will probably be home late so don’t be surprised if the house is empty when you come back,” Audrey said and pulled on her coat. “If you need something, just call.”

“Okay.”

“The taxi arrived,” Franz informed his wife.

Audrey smiled and walked to Castiel pressing a kiss to his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain on it.

“Good luck. I know you’ll win. Cheer on him for me, Sarah, will you?”

“Of course. Have a fun evening.”

Audrey smiled and then hooked her arm with his husband’s.

“Good luck. And have fun,” Franz wished as well before they walked outside, and the door closed after them.

For a few seconds Sarah and Castiel were quiet. Castiel rubbed the lipstick from his cheek with a sigh.

“So, we’re alone?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah. They announced today that some friends had invited them over.”

“Right.”

“Is it okay? I know you said to your mother they’d be here.”

“It’s fine. I don’t need to tell her everything,” Sarah smiled. Still, the thought pinched her stomach. She would be all alone with Castiel...

“Well, I’ll take Ares out and then put him back behind the gate. You can go to my room to put your stuff away if you want to.”

Sarah nodded. She gave a few more scritches to Ares before Castiel took him outside for a pee. Sarah took a breath and walked upstairs.

She dropped her bag next to Castiel’s wardrobe and sat on his bed next to a pile of folded clothes. Sarah assumed they were his performance outfit. She picked up the piece of clothing on top of the pile. It was a sleeveless white shirt, and Sarah could tell without it being worn yet, that it would be a very tight fit. Her cheeks warmed up from the thought. Under the shirt was a denim vest, and ripped jeans.

Sarah was folding the clothes back to the pile when Castiel walked in.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“They look nice. I can’t wait to see you wear them.”

“I could say the same with you. What did you buy yesterday?”

“A few things,” Sarah said and blushed because Castiel wrapped his arms around her waist, “but nothing special. Just a skirt and a shirt. And a necklace from Morgan’s shop.”

“Hmm, I’m sure you look great in them. I think we should get changed.”

“It’s not time to leave yet though?”

“Yeah, but I want to have a good look at you before we have to go. I won’t have time to be with you much after we get to the venue.”

“Alright,” Sarah sighed with a small smile on her lips. She pushed herself free of Castiel’s hold.

“I’ll go outside to change,” she said. Changing in front of Castiel would make her heart go crazy.

She snatched her back and walked out of the room and headed to the toilet that was almost across Castiel’s room.

There she took off her clothes and quickly changed to her new outfit: black tights, black skirt, and a plum turtleneck. The outfit was finished with the necklace. Sarah dabbed her lips with lip gloss. She took a step back to admire herself from the mirror. Her stomach made a giddy jump when she looked at her reflection.

When she came back to Castiel’s room, he was already in his clothes as well, and was struggling to attach on last chain to his ripped jeans. He stopped his endeavour when Sarah walked in, staring at her in speechless wonder. As Sarah had suspected, Castiel looked ridiculously handsome.

“So,” Sarah felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, “how do I look?”

“Amazing,” Castiel voice was husky. He took a few steps closer and pulled Sarah close. “And honestly, I just want to take all those clothes off right now.”

His warm breath on Sarah’s ear made the girl blush all the way down to her neck. Sarah’s cheeks burned when she sputtered a reply.

“What?”

“You look so good,” Castiel whispered, sending shivers down Sarah’s back. His hand wandered down from Sarah’s side to her hip and down to her thigh.

Sarah’s heart thumped, and her skin prickled where Castiel touched her. His hand was firm but gentle when it pulled up the hem of her skirt. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t want Castiel to stop, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to continue.

Castiel started to take steps towards his bed, pulling Sarah along, and his lips grazed her neck and chin. Sarah swallowed.

“Castiel.”

Her voice was barely audible, but Castiel looked at her. He pulled his hand away and took a step back, almost stumbling on the bed.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to… I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I?”

Castiel didn’t meet Sarah’s eyes. His cheeks were red, and his heart beat loudly. Suddenly, it was too hot in the room. What was he thinking? How many times had Sarah said she wanted to take things slow? And now he did this. He was so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Castiel raked his hair with his fingers.

“It’s alright,” Sarah reassured and touched Castiel’s arm. “Now’s just not the best time.”

Castiel didn’t say anything. He was embarrassed. He acted like any horny teenager in Sarah’s presence. He hadn’t gone too far yet, but what if he constantly pushed Sarah’s boundaries, and one day she’d snap?

Sarah’s light touch on his cheek pulled Castiel out of his thoughts. He looked at Sarah apology written all over his face.

Sarah smiled softly and leaned closer to kiss him. Castiel could taste strawberry on her lips.

“I didn’t dislike it. So, we can maybe continue with it later,” she said and blushed furiously. Even though it made her nervous, Sarah liked all the kisses and touches. She didn’t want to shoot Castiel down every time. And how could she get used to it if they never did anything?

“So, you better win the contest tonight,” she added with a sly smile.

Castiel took a deep breath and smiled as well. He tugged Sarah closer and pressed a kiss on her cheek.

“I’ll do my best.”

Fifteen minutes later they sat in Morgan’s car with Leon and Amanda. Castiel’s guitar was in the trunk. Amanda fiddled with the straps of her camera bag. Morgan tapped the steering wheel while they sat on the traffic lights.

“Are you coming to watch too, Morgan?” Sarah asked.

“I have a dinner date with Lucy,” he replied with a smile, “but I’ll come to pick you up, so you girls won’t get cold walking back.”

Sarah was grateful. It had taken two minutes at most to get in the car, and she had shivered from cold already. Amanda was wearing a skirt as well. And it was starting to snow. It wouldn’t be fun to walk back home.

Soon they stopped in front of the venue. There was a bouncer at the door keeping an eye on the people getting in. Posters on the wall advertised the contest and reminded that the event would be alcohol free and open to all ages.

They thanked Morgan for the ride and headed towards the red brick building. Castiel and Leon talked to the man standing at the door and soon they were let inside.

Sarah had never been to a club before. The lighting was dim, and spotlights above tables and the stage, and few colourful lights on the ceiling created the atmosphere for the space. A bar counter took almost one side of the room. There were booths with enough room for five to six people next to the walls, and tall tables with a couple of bar stools around them near the bar. The performing stage took a good portion of the room and in front of it there was an open space, probably for dancing and general mingling. There was already around a dozen people inside, some appeared to be staff and organizers, but some were customers and contestants.

Sarah almost bumped into Castiel who had stopped to talk with a tall and muscular man. After a short exchange Castiel turned to his friends.

“Leon and I have to go prepare. Our turn is apparently somewhere in the middle, but they still need us to do some stuff first. You can get one free drink from the bar if you want.”

“Okay. I’ll keep an eye on Sarah, so the other musician boys don’t snatch her away,” Amanda said with a smile and a wink.

Sarah blushed at the thought. She doubted she would catch the attention of anyone apart from sticking out like a sore thumb.

Castiel snorted. “I appreciate it,” he said.

Amanda grinned and stepped to Leon, wrapping her arms around his shoulder.

“You sing the others out of this place, okay?” she said.

“I’ll do my best.”

They shared a kiss, which made Castiel roll his eyes.

“Will you cheer me on?” he asked from Sarah.

“Hmm, I guess I should since I came all the way here,” she said, trying to sound pondering. Soon that teasing tone broke into a smile.

“I really hope you win. I believe in you. Knock their socks off,” she said.

“Will do,” Castiel said, “may I get a good luck kiss as well?”

Sarah let out a laugh and pulled Castiel closer. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his mouth in a firm kiss that softened slightly when Castiel placed his hands on her hips. After a few lingering moments he stepped back and turned to Leon, who in turn look at them with faux-disgust. Castiel elbowed his friend in the arm.

“Let’s go then,” he said and together the guys headed to backstage.

Sarah exhaled and placed her hands on her warm cheeks. So many people had seen them kiss. Maybe, if they had looked. No one probably cared but the thought embarrassed Sarah anyway.

“Do you want to come with me to check good spots for taking pictures?” Amanda asked.

Sarah didn’t want to be alone in this unfamiliar place, so she happily agreed.

They walked around the room with Amanda peering through her camera every now and then, crouching down or looking for way to climb little higher. She muttered something about lighting every now and then and fiddled with the settings of her camera.

The place started to get fuller with audience and more contestants filing in. Some of them looked like hardcore rockers, like what Sarah saw in the covers of her dad’s music albums. One girl group was dressed up in pink, leather, and spikes. Some others were completely ordinary looking, even less dressed up than Leon and Castiel.

Sarah and Amanda managed to get themselves a table close to the stage where they sat waiting for the event to start. A few bands had already visited the stage for practising and refining their tunes. They were chatting about school and pets, when two guys walked up to them.

“Hello, girls? Are you here by yourselves?”

Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. She turned to look at the guys.

They looked like they were regulars to the place. They had ripped jeans, leather jackets and piercings. A style Sarah had seen so many people wear that evening. One guy had black hair shaved short from the sides, and the other had short and spiky blonde hair with blue tips.

“No, we are not,” Amanda replied without sparing the guys more than a glance.

“Where’s you company then?” the blonde and blue guy asked.

“Preparing for the contest. We’re here to support our boyfriends. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Can we sit at your table?”

“No, you can’t.”

The calmness but slight hard edge on Amanda’s voice was impressive to Sarah. Her heart was beating from nervousness. She would’ve been left speechless if she had to deal with these two guys. Well, she hadn’t uttered a word yet, so technically she already was speechless.

“Aww, come on. Why not?” the black haired guy was insistent, leaning against the table now. Sarah moved away her arm that had been resting on the table.

“Because I say so. We are not interested in your company. Please leave. You are bothering us.”

“But your friend doesn’t seem against it. She hasn’t said anything yet.”

Sarah’s face flushed red. Amanda slammed her hands against the table and stood up. She glared at the guys with all the intimidation an eighteen year old girl could gather. Which was, to Amanda’s merit, quite a lot.

“Are you deaf or just dense? We don’t want you here. We’re trying to have a nice evening and you’re bothering us. The fact that she hasn’t said anything doesn’t mean she wants you here. Leave us alone or I’ll alert the staff.”

“Jesus, no need to get upset. We just wanted to hang out.”

The blonde spiky one yielded first. He grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him away.

“Let’s just go. They clearly don’t like us.”

The black haired scoffed and followed his friend muttering something about ungrateful women.

“Idiots,” Amanda huffed.

She turned to Sarah and touched her arm.

“I hope you weren’t too bothered. There are people like that sometimes, but there’s rarely any issues. I’ll protect you,” she said and punched her palm with her fist.

“I’m fine. Thanks for speaking up. I didn’t know at all what to say.”

“No worries. Now let’s just hope they stay away. Oh, look it’s Leon and Castiel.”

Sarah’s eyes turned to the stage where Leon and Castiel had appeared. Castiel was setting up his guitar. He noticed Sarah and Amanda and waved a hand at them. Sarah smiled and waved back. Amanda took a few pictures of them.

In a nearby table, the two guys from before were talking to a young woman with deep brown hair that shifted into purple towards the tips. The woman leaned her chin on her hands and watched the stage where Castiel played a few test tunes. Her eyes moved to Sarah’s table and a tiny smile quirked her lips. Interesting.

After almost an hour of waiting, the contest finally started. Sarah and Amanda sat at the table, stirring ice cubes in their lemonades while listening and judging the other contestants’ performances: too loud, boring, decent, that guitarist is kinda cute, they could do well, ew what is that outfit? Excitement and anticipation bubbled in Sarah’s chest when it got closer to Castiel’s and Leon’s turn. She was so excited to hear them perform. Amanda had praised Leon’s singing voice, and even though Castiel had played some songs to Sarah, they hadn’t been the bands songs. She was eager to heart what they were like.

The band with pink and leather-wearing members cleared out from the stage and the announcer walked there.

“Let’s give a big applause to ‘Death and Sakura’. And let’s welcome in our next contestants, ‘Heartscape’.”

Sarah clapped her hands. Her heart thumped faster in her chest. It was Castiel’s turn now.

Amanda slipped from her chair clutching the camera in her hands.

“I’ll go take some pictures. Do you want to come with, or will you wait here?”

“I’ll wait here.” She wanted to focus on the performance, and she didn’t want to accidentally get in Amanda’s way.

Amanda nodded and pushed through the crowd so she could get in a good position before the boys started.

Castiel and Leon took a minute to set things up. Castiel plugged in his guitar, Leon adjusted the microphones. They glanced at each other. Castiel strummed the guitar and started playing. And then Leon started singing.

Sarah’s heart jumped to her throat. Leon’s voice was lovely. It was soft but still strong, and so emotional when he sang the song. His eyes scanned the audience, looking for Amanda.

“All I need is the stars, the moon and your hand in mine.

My heart is heavy with the weight of missing you.”

Castiel moved closer to the microphone and when the chorus started, he joined in the song. His voice was lower and rawer, perhaps caused by the emotions that welled in his chest when he looked at Sarah.

She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help smiling back.

“Baby, I love you. Oh, baby I looove you.”

Sarah’s cheeks were tinted red, and she felt warm all over. She took a sip of her lemonade to cool down a bit.

“It was the way you laughed; it was the way you were. I could’ve fallen for you with my eyes closed.”

Sarah could tell how much thought the guys had put into writing the song. They both sang it to their girlfriends with all the affection and love they had in their hearts.

“You know I’m in love with you every breath I take.”

“Baby, I love you. Oh, baby I love youuuuu. Baby I looooove youuuu.”

Sarah couldn’t hold back a chuckle when Castiel joined in again on the last lines of the song. He stretched his hand towards Sarah, who in turn blew a kiss towards his direction.

“So, you really are his new girlfriend.”

Voice next to Sarah made her jump and almost fall out of her seat. While the audience started clapping at Heartscape’s performance, Sarah spun around to meet a young woman in brown and purple hair.

“Excuse me?” Sarah said warily.

“I can’t believe he’d choose someone so ordinary and boring. Did he peel you from a grandma’s wallpaper?”

Sarah bristled.

“You’re Rachel.”

The stranger smiled in a way that confirmed Sarah’s assumption.

“Oh, he’s talked about me?”

“Yes. He told me that he used to date a lying cheater.”

“As if you’d know anything. Castiel and I had a wonderful time together. He’s so adorable.”

“And still you ran to another man and had the audacity the blame Castiel? Yeah, sounds wonderful.”

Sarah was annoyed. What was with Castiel attracting all these horrible women? Mercedes was annoying enough, but now Rachel was here too, and she didn’t seem any better.

“Listen, girl. You are no match for me. If I wanted to, I could–“

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Castiel’s cold tone interrupted Rachel. Sarah hadn’t even noticed him arriving. His chest rose and fell in fast pace, and there was redness on his cheeks. He had his guitar in his hands. He hadn’t had time to put it away when he had jumped off the stage after noticing Rachel.

Rachel’s entire demeanour changed. She smiled softly and took a step towards Castiel.

“Kittycas. I’ve missed you so much,” she said, “I’ve wanted to talk to you for such a long time. I have wanted to apologize. I made a mistake. I broke up with my boyfriend months ago. I realized that I love you. I miss the good times we had.”

Sarah’s stomach lurched. Was Rachel serious? She watched Castiel and Rachel stare down each other. Castiel in his ripped jeans and vest, and Rachel in leather miniskirt and tank top that didn’t hide too much of her body. Standing there, under the dim lighting of the rock club, they looked good together. Or they would’ve if Castiel’s hands hadn’t been clenched into fists and his jaw wasn’t tensed.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“We’re participating in the contest too,” Rachel smiled and waved her hand towards the table where rest of her crew sat.

Sarah flinched when she noticed the two guys from earlier.

“Our turn is last, so we decided to enjoy the show from this side. I really wanted to see you perform. You were amazing.”

Castiel didn’t say anything, but he looked at Sarah who looked lost and uncomfortable. It was awkward to sit in the middle of a personal conversation.

“If you had something to say, spit it out now. I don’t care to talk to you any longer than I need to,” Castiel grumbled.

“I just want to say I’m sorry,” Rachel cooed. “I really loved you. I have learned from my mistakes. I think we should try again.”

The words were a jab to Sarah’s stomach. Her eyes widened in shock and darted between Rachel and Castiel who was equally stunned.

“Like, think about it. We have so much in common. And we always had so much fun together. I’m sure you think about those times sometimes. I know I do. We both made mistakes, but we can be better now. We’ve both grown.”

Her suggestive and purring tone made Sarah’s ears to warm up. She lowered her eyes on the table. She gritted her teeth together.

“We can fix our misunderstandings I know it. You must be terribly lonely to get together with a mouse like her,” Rachel nodded towards Sarah, “you deserve something more exciting. We burn bright together, Castiel. I know you remember it.”

Castiel had been quiet the whole time Rachel talked. Sarah’s heart hammered in her chest. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Sarah’s mouth was dry, and her palms were sweating. Why didn’t he say no?

Rachel smiled and placed her hand on his shoulders.

“You don’t need to answer right now. I can give you my number and you can call me later.”

“There’s no need,” Castiel said finally.

Rachel’s posture straightened, and she flashed a victorious smile to Sarah.

“Really? You have always been quick to make your decisions. But where’s the use in dawdling when you can take action.”

“Shut up. You are insane if you think I have even an ounce of interest in getting back together with you. You lied to me, cheated on me, and broke my heart. And now you’re here spewing this nonsense in Sarah’s presence, trying to make her feel bad too. Fuck off.”

“But Castiel! Wouldn’t you think about it a bit? All the good times we had?”

“Sex isn’t really a great incentive to get back together with you,” Castiel scoffed, “I’m not that desperate that I’d throw away my self-worth to sleep with you. Or anyone. But especially not you.”

Rachel stared at Castiel in shock. How was this possible? She had apologized and everything?

Castiel took Sarah’s hand and pulled her close next to him.

“Have a good rest of your life. I don’t want to see you again,” he said and dragged Sarah along. Rachel was left standing at the table where she stared after them.

Castiel found Leon and Amanda quickly. They had been waiting a short distance away, not wanting to get mixed in the conversation. Dark expression on Castiel’s face made them walk to him and Sarah. Leon had Castiel’s guitar case in hand.

“What happened?” Leon asked. “Was that Rachel?”

“Yes. She wanted to get back together with me?”

“What?”

“How dare she?”

“What did you say?”

“I told her to fuck off, obviously. After everything she’s done, I definitely don’t want to get involved again.”

“You definitely shouldn’t. She’s awful. Good riddance,” Amanda huffed.

Sarah stayed quiet. She couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that had nestled in her chest. She bit the inside of her lip and tried her best to not look back to see if Rachel was still at their table.

“I want to leave,” Castiel said, pulling Sarah’s attention to the conversation again, “the mood got ruined.”

“If you want to, I don’t mind,” Leon said, “there aren’t many bands left though. It shouldn’t take too long for them to announce the winner.”

“Yeah, but she is playing too,” Castiel said in withering tone.

“Oh.”

“But it’s a long walk back. Won’t you get cold?” Amanda chimed in. It’d be awful if they got sick.

“True. We can totally just ignore Rachel while we wait for the results. Imagine if we win. I’d be so much better if we’re both here. But again, if you want to leave, then of course it’s fine.”

Castiel sighed. He didn’t really care about staying but Amanda had a point. If they had to walk back, they’d get cold. It’d also be so satisfying to take the win from Rachel.

“I guess we can stay. I won’t let her bother me,” he said.

Sarah nodded in agreement. They went to look for a new table but had to resort in standing around. All tables had been taken. Castiel put his guitar back in its case and leaned against it deep in thought.

The mood stayed sombre for the rest of the event. No one really said anything apart from occasional comments towards the performances. When Rachel’s band stepped on stage, Castiel stiffened but remained quiet. He scoffed and rolled his eyes a few times during their song.

“We were better,” he said when Rachel had walked off the stage blowing kisses to the audience, “as long as we beat her, I don’t care about the placement.”

It felt like a painfully long eternity, until the jury announced the top three. The announcer reminded that there was a ‘large amount of extremely talented musicians’ and the ‘decision had been extremely difficult’.

“Third place goes to Four Odd Lions.”

Sarah clapped politely. She prayed that Castiel and Leon would get good placements and that Rachel wouldn’t win.

“Second place…Heartscape.”

Castiel and Leon deflated in relief. Amanda and Sarah cheered. But the excitement didn’t last long. They tensed up again when the announcer opened the envelope with the winner’s name inside. Rachel’s band was called Moxie. The winner could be anyone but her. Please.

“And the winner is…Heart Trampling.”

Sarah clapped her hands again. They had been a talented band. The win was deserved, even though it was a shame Castiel and Leon hadn’t won.

“Congrats,” Sarah said and hugged Castiel, “you were really good.”

The guys walked to the stage to receive their reward: 200 dollars and a small trophy, and Amanda rushed after them to take pictures.

Sarah looked around warily in case Rachel tried to approach her again. But she was standing on the other side of the room, arms crossed across her chest and a hurt look on her face. Sarah turned her eyes away quickly.

They had quickly gathered their stuff and called Morgan. Everyone had decided that while second place was a great achievement and worth celebrating, doing it now wasn’t the best idea. Castiel wasn’t in the mood to spend time in town when he could potentially bump into Rachel again. They would go celebrate at better time.

Morgan parked his car in front of Castiel’s house. Sarah and Castiel thanked for the ride and wished good night to Leon and Amanda. Sarah shivered when chilly wind bit her legs as they walked to the door. The house was dark. Castiel’s parents weren’t home yet.

The mood was heavy as they took off their coats. Castiel placed his guitar next to the door and headed to kitchen without saying a word. Ares whined and whimpered there, happy to have his human back. Castiel took him out, so he could do his business.

Sarah paced around the living room, not really knowing what to do. The events of the club weighed heavy on her chest. Rachel’s words came back to her mind. You deserve something more exciting. We had so much fun together. I missed you. I think we should try again.

Sarah sighed and slumped to the couch. She was annoyed at herself. Castiel had said that he wasn’t interested, but still Sarah doubted. This was the same thing than with Mercedes. Doubt about why Castiel wanted to be with her. She was boring, a mouse. Castiel didn’t want Rachel, but what about someone else bright and brave? Someone who didn’t doubt herself the second a stranger said mean-spirited things.

Sarah was awoken from her thoughts to dog claws scratching on laminate floor. Ares pulled towards her while Castiel tangled on the other end of the leash trying to slow down the dog so he wouldn’t strain himself.

Ares almost dove on Sarah’s lap, and she yelped in surprise. She caught Ares’s big head between her hands, squishing his cheeks. Ares huffed and sneezed. Sarah let out a laugh.

“Well hello! How are you?”

She scratched Ares behind the ears, and his tail wagged so fast it was just blur behind him.

Castiel smiled and sat down next to Sarah.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

Sarah turned her head towards him. One hand rested against Ares’s head and he nudged it when the petting stopped.

“I think I should ask that from you. You just ran into your ex.”

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. But you’ve been quiet. Did Rachel say something to you before I came?”

“Not really. I guess I’m just thinking too much again.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Like… how boring I am. And how annoying it must be that I’m so nervous about everything. And how you had so much fun with Rachel while we haven’t even once…” Sarah trailed off when her cheeks flushed. She rubbed her face in her hands.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Sarah and pulled her closer.

“Forget her words. She doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. What we had is in the past. I don’t want her back.”

“I know but I can’t help it. I trust you, but there’s this voice in my head that tries to fight against it. I know she hurt you badly, but it just feels like her words made sense. I’m so boring, like, like, unseasoned oatmeal. And that even if you don’t want her, maybe you’d prefer someone who’s spicier.”

Castiel’s hand brushed her arm as he held Sarah close. His breath swayed few strands of her hair.

“I haven’t changed my mind since last time. I don’t want anyone else but you. Spice or no spice,” Castiel said smiling softly. “It’s alright to be nervous. It’s alright if you’re not ready to have sex. You don’t need to push yourself because of me. I probably come off too strong sometimes with how I feel, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel like you should.”

“Don’t worry. You haven’t,” Sarah muttered, “It’s just that I want to do it... I really like you. But it just makes me so nervous.”

“Then we’ll take things slow. You can always say if you don’t like something. I promise I won’t mind. I want you to be happy. That’s most important to me.”

Sarah felt stinging in the corners of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to push back the tears. She took a deep breath and nuzzled closer to Castiel.

“You’re so good,” she whispered.

“Not as good as you.”

Sarah chuckled, and Castiel kissed her hair.

They sat a few moments in silence. Ares had lied down on the floor and was dozing off. Every tick of the clock seemed to echo through the house. Sarah’s hand rested on Castiel’s thigh, and she traced different shapes on the fabric of his jeans with his fingers. Her hear and emotions had calmed down. She loved how patient and understanding Castiel was. It gave her confidence. She wanted to try finding her courage.

She decided to break the silence.

“Do you want to go to your room?”

She shifted slightly so she could look at Castiel better.

“Because, you know, we should celebrate your second place somehow.”

A light blush rose to her cheeks.

It took a few seconds for Castiel to recover from the surprise.

“Really? You want to?”

Sarah lowered her eyes to her hands.

“Yeah. Like, not all the way but…something. If it’s okay with you?”

“Of course.”

Was Sarah silly? As if Castiel would turn down the chance to be closer to Sarah. They could lie down on bed in starfish position, holding hands, and he’d be happy.

“But wait. You’re not doing it just because of Rachel, are you?”

Castiel didn’t want Sarah to push herself out of her comfort zone just because she thought sleeping together was something they should’ve done.

“Not really. I just realized that if I don’t challenge myself, I can’t change. And I didn’t lie when I said I really want to…do things with you. And the house is empty so…” Sarah blushed furiously while she talked.

Castiel brushed Sarah’s cheek with the back of his hand. He would’ve lied if he said he hadn’t hoped to spend some quality time with Sarah, but he hadn’t expected it. The fact that Sarah suggested it filled Castiel’s chest with happiness.

He stood up to usher Ares back behind his fence. He gave the dog a smooch on the forehead before hurrying back to Sarah. She had stood up from the couch. She fidgeted with her fingers but smiled when Castiel walked to her and took her hands.

The mood shifted to the awkward side when either of them really knew what to do next.

“So.”

“So….”

They both chuckled. Castiel took a few steps towards the stairs, and Sarah followed. Castiel grabbed his guitar with him so no one would trip on it and break it. As they climbed the stairs, nerves and anticipation grew inside them. Sarah’s heart beat faster again when she stared at Castiel’s back. She wanted to do this. She had suggested this. They could continue with where they left off earlier. Despite the nerves, she was excited.

Castiel turned on the lights when they got to his room. He put his guitar to its place. Sarah walked to him as he turned around and draped her arms over his shoulders. She looked into Castiel’s grey eyes. Castiel’s hands found their place from her waist when Sarah leaned in to kiss him.

The first kisses where light and tentative, but soon they deepened and became hungrier. Castiel’s grip on her hips tightened, and he pulled Sarah against him. She sighed against his lips. Castiel’s hands dropped lower, pulling her skirt up. The hand slid up and down her thigh.

Unlike the first time when Sarah and interrupted, she now sunk her fingers in Castiel’s hair, gripping it when Castiel’s tongue grazed her lips. The kisses deepened as Sarah followed Castiel’s example, not really knowing otherwise what to do. Heat was building up in her body, and the high collar of her shirt began to feel suffocating.

Castiel’s hand had wandered to the zipper of Sarah’s skirt. He searched her eyes for affirmation. Sarah nodded, and Castiel pulled the zipper down. The skirt dropped on the floor.

Sarah shifted closer to the warmth of Castiel’s body. Her hands rested on his chest, and then she slowly pushed the vest down his shoulders and arms. Castiel smiled and shrugged the vest off, and then kissed her again, trailing kisses along her jaw. His fingers found the edge of Sarah’s shirt and slipped under it.

Sarah shivered at the touch. Castiel’s hands travelled up her sides to the edge of her bra. He glanced at Sarah again. She looked more apprehensive, so Castiel moved his hands lower but keeping his hands under her shirt, brushing his thumbs over her ribs.

“Do you want to move on the bed?” Castiel asked in between kisses.

“Yeah.”

Sarah’s answer was short, but she already moved in the direction of the bed tugging Castiel along.

Castiel sat down on the bed and pulled Sarah on her lap. She straddled his hips and wrapped her arms around him again. Sarah’s heart fluttered in her chest when she kissed Castiel. She moved her lips down his jaw to his neck. Castiel sucked in a breath, and Sarah felt his pulse jump. She couldn’t hold back a smile.

Castiel’s hands ran up and down Sarah’s back and shoulders while they kissed deeper and hungrier. He fiddled with the hem of her shirt again.

“Can I take off your shirt?” he asked pulling back from a kiss.

He studied Sarah’s face. There was a hint of hesitation in her features but still she nodded.

“You can,” she confirmed.

Castiel kissed her again and tried to pull the shirt off but it got caught in her necklace. Castiel let out an amused huff, as he quickly opened the lock and took off the piece of jewellery. Sarah pulled the shirt off and dropped it on the floor. But as she realized she was nearly naked in front of Castiel for the first time, a spike of nervousness struck her. Her hands rose to cover her body, as she timidly looked at Castiel. Her heart hammered in her chest.

Castiel placed his hands on Sarah’s shoulders and moved them along her arms to her hands. He softly moved the hand the tiniest bit and pressed kisses on Sarah’s fingers and knuckles.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed. You’re beautiful,” he said.

Sarah nodded and leaned closer to Castiel. She pressed her forehead against his shoulder. Castiel rubbed her back.

“You can put the shirt back on if you want to. It’s fine,” he said, “or we can turn off the lights.”

“Let’s try the lights,” Sarah said.

Castiel nodded and shifted his weight so he could stand up. Sarah moved from his lap and watched Castiel march to the light switch and flip it. Darkness fell in the room. Only a soft glow of the streetlights shone from the window, letting them see each other’s silhouettes.

Sarah took a deep breath. The cover of darkness made her feel more comfortable. She lowered her arms slowly. Castiel shuffled closer and pressed a kiss on her lips before stepping back again. Sarah saw him take off his shirt and toss it on the floor.

“Just so we’re even,” he said with a smile.

Sarah pressed her hands on his bare chest and let them trail lower, on his stomach, where she could feel the faint shape of muscles. It darkened the blush on Sarah’s cheeks.

“Are you feeling better?” Castiel worried. He touched Sarah’s arms again.

“Yes. Thank you.”

Castiel was so considerate. Sarah’s heart welled with emotion. She cupped Castiel’s face in her hands and pulled him into a searing kiss. Castiel melt against her touch, wrapping his arms around her.

Slowly they moved towards the bed, and soon Sarah lied down on her back against the soft covers, Castiel above her.

“Tell me if you don’t like something and I’ll stop,” Castiel reminded before kissing Sarah again so strongly it left her breathless. Sarah wrapped her arms around Castiel’s shoulders.

Her breath hitched in her throat when Castiel lips moved from her mouth down to her neck. The kisses trailed lower on her collarbone, and Sarah gripped his shoulders tighter. Her body was burning. She gasped when Castiel’s lips wandered even lower. He pressed kisses on the soft skin of her breasts and then moved to her stomach.

Sarah squirmed under the touch. Heat packed in her stomach, and her nails grazed Castiel’s skin. A gentle nip of teeth on skin pulled out a soft moan from her throat. Sarah’s face flushed with heat. But Castiel kissed the spot, his tongue flicking on the skin.

When his fingers found the edge of Sarah’s tights, a shot of panic struck her chest, and she grabbed his arm.

“Don’t,” she said softly.

Castiel shifted his weight and pressed kisses on her body again, trying to find spots he hadn’t kissed yet while moving back to be face to face with her. Once he was withing her reach, Sarah kissed him, grateful for the attention and kindness. Castiel brushed her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Is there something you want?” Sarah asked, looking at Castiel in the eyes, even though in the darkness she couldn’t really see them.

“Not much,” Castiel said, brushing hair from Sarah’s face, “but would it be okay if I took off my jeans? I’m a bit…”

“Oh, right.” Sarah blushed again.

She didn’t say anything else, but slowly moved her hands down Castiel’s chest and over his stomach and sides. Castiel gasped softly under her touch. Sarah’s stomach tingled, and her heart thumped loud in her chest, and she could feel the pulse in her ears. Her fingers found the belt and fiddled it open. She opened the button and the zipper. Her thumbs brushed the sliver of newly exposed skin, and Castiel gasped again. He shifted his position and kicked the jeans off. They fell on the floor chains clinking and clattering.

It was a relief to get rid of the restrictiveness of the jeans. Even though Sarah wanted to take things slow and Castiel respected that, he couldn’t really help his body reacting the way it did. Who wouldn’t get excited about kissing their girlfriend like this?

Castiel leaned over to Sarah again, kissing her and running his hands all over her body. The shyness and nervousness seemed to melt away from Sarah with every kiss and a tiny bit of it was replaced by want. When Castiel lowered his body more to get closer, and hardness pressed against Sarah’s lower stomach, she gasped.

“Sorry” Castiel rasped. His throat was dry, and words were difficult.

Sarah pressed a finger on his lips, shutting him up.

“It’s fine.” Her voice was equally husky. “You can do that if you want.”

To affirm that she meant it, Sarah awkwardly raised her hips, pressing them against Castiel. He grunted at the sensation that sent an electric jolt through his body.

He rolled his hips against Sarah who whimpered softly. She leaned her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the sensation. It was new and a bit scary how her body felt like it was electrified, but she loved it. Castiel pressed kisses on her throat and collar bones, nipping more boldly at the skin that could be covered with clothes. Sarah shivered under him and without thinking about it, wrapped her legs around Castiel and pulled him closer. Her head was filled with pleasant buzz and there was no room for thoughts. Heat packed in her stomach, and she gripped Castiel’s shoulders, nails digging in his skin.

Castiel’s breathing became ragged as he continued to move. He could feel pressure building inside him. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. But then Sarah moved alongside him, rolling her hips against him. The tiny movement pushed him over the edge and a knot of heat unravelled in his stomach. Castiel pressed his head against the crook of Sarah’s neck and muffled a moan against her hot skin. Sarah gasped when Castiel trembled against her and pulled him flush against her chest. Their hearts hammered in their chests and both were panting. Castiel pressed soft kisses on Sarah’s neck and shoulders when the rush finally began to fade.

“I didn’t mean to⁠–,” he started but Sarah hushed him.

“It’s fine.”

“But you didn’t⁠⁠–”

“It’s fine,” she reassured. “I’m happy like this right now. I don’t need more.” Maybe next time, she added in her thoughts but didn’t say it out loud.

Castiel moved to lie down next to Sarah and wrapped his arms around her. The drumming beat of his heart started to calm down slowly.

“You really are feeling okay? he asked.

“I am. I liked that.”, she said and nuzzled closer so she could rest her head on Castiel’s chest. “Are you okay?”

“I am. I liked it too.”

Castiel pulled Sarah closer and pressed kisses on her hair.

Sarah sighed. Her heart was full and content. She was relaxed and comfortable in Castiel’s arms. She traced patterns on his skin and listened to the steady beat of his heart.

A few moments they laid like that, until Castiel sat up. He needed to wash up before bed. Sarah rolled to lie on her back when Castiel got out of bed. He turned on the lights so he could find clothes from his wardrobe.

Immediately he was distracted by the sight of Sarah on the bed in bra and black tights. Her cheeks had a light pink shade. Castiel’s heart jumped, and he had to force his eyes away.

“You tempt me,” he said, “such a sight on my bed is too much for my weak heart.”

Sarah blushed bright red and sat up. She pulled her knees against her chest.

“I’ll take a quick shower,” Castiel said and headed out.

Sarah got up as well and shuffled through her bag to pull out her pyjamas. She pressed them against her chest and smiled, biting her lip. She couldn’t believe they had done that. It had been so…good. All the nervousness had disappeared after a while, and she had been able to enjoy the closeness and emotion and heat coming from Castiel. She thought about her mother’s words about being nice and her promise to not do anything questionable. That hadn’t quite happened, but mum didn’t need to know that.

Sarah headed to the upstairs toilet. She could hear water running downstairs where Castiel was taking the shower. She washed her face and refreshed herself before changing clothes and brushing her teeth. And when Castiel came back his hair still slightly damp, Sarah was sitting on the bed in her pyjamas. She raised her head from her phone to see Castiel in just his boxers, and her heart made a tiny flip.

“Now you tempt me,” she smirked.

Castiel chuckled. He turned off the lights and climbed to bed next to Sarah. He pulled her against his side and tugged the covers over them with one hand. He pressed a soft kiss on her cheek before they nuzzled into a comfortable position.

Sarah wrapped her arms around Castiel’s solid body and breathed in his shower fresh scent.

“I love you,” she sighed.

Castiel smiled. “I love you too.”

And together they drifted off to sleep.