The next morning the air was crisp with cold and the clouds promised snow. After a few weeks of hesitating and second-guessing, the weather had decided it was indeed time for winter and did its best to catch up on any lost time on showing the winter weather. In a few days they had received a decent layer of snow and the temperature had dropped below zero.

Sarah walked to school alone, again. Since Castiel’s parents were home now, Sarah had hoped he would’ve come to school, but Castiel didn’t trust his parents to know what to do with Ares. So, he still stayed at home. Sarah hoped that he’d at least come the next week. Skipping so many classes wasn’t good for his grades even though Sarah delivered him the information about homework, and they made at least most of it together. Sometimes they got a bit…distracted by more fun things. On top of that, the school didn’t feel the same without Castiel there. She did spend time with Leon and Amanda but didn’t always want to insert herself in their company. She couldn’t help feeling like the third wheel.

The school was bustling when Sarah arrived. Fridays always had a different feel to them, more energetic and excited. People were eager to get home for the weekend. And luckily, they day wouldn’t be too long. Fridays were always a bit shorter and just like every other week, it was a welcome feature this time too. 90 minutes less school wasn’t that much shorter, but it felt like it. The kids had an entire day ahead of them! The world was open, and they were free. Except for Sarah, whose mum wanted her home early. She would still walk around town for a bit with Castiel, and maybe go for coffee or visit shops. That was the plan at least. Castiel needed something else to think about as well after all the madness of the past few weeks.

Sarah headed towards her classroom when she heard Miss Cassidy calling her name. She stopped and turned around, seeing the teacher jog towards her waving her hand.

“Sarah, how nice that I found you. I have finally graded the baby projects. I definitely didn’t forget it while being extremely busy. Have you seen Castiel?”

“Castiel hasn’t been able to come to school for a while for personal reasons. But he should come next week.”

“Oh. I hope everything’s alright. But you two get an A for the project. It was very well done, and I was happy to see such detailed discussion in both of your diaries. Here’s yours back with some comments. I have Castiel’s too, but I suppose I’ll have to give it to him next week.”

Sarah took the papers handed to her. Her heart jumped when she saw the A on the corner of the paper. They had worked hard for the project. Getting the highest grade was a well-deserved reward.

“I could give it to him. I’ll see him later today.”

Miss Cassidy pondered her answer for a moment.

“I suppose it’s alright. I trust you to not read it. It’s personal information.”

“You can trust me,” Sarah smiled.

Miss Cassidy nodded and folded Castiel’s feedback so that Sarah couldn’t see anything. She tugged the papers in her bag and wondered if Castiel had written anything about her. Curiosity already tickled in the back of her mind, tempting Sarah to peek the papers after Miss Cassidy walked away to hunt down other students from her class.

Sarah shook her head to drive away the invasive thought. She wouldn’t betray Miss Cassidy’s trust, or more importantly, Castiel’s. He was very particular about his privacy and didn’t want people prying into his business. No doubt he would be upset even at Sarah if she read his papers, especially if he had written something personal in there.

Trying to focus her mind on other business, Sarah took out her phone for a moment of mindless scrolling through social media. She hadn’t received any inappropriate or harassing message in a few weeks which was a relief. It really seemed like people had forgotten about the whole incident. Still, Sarah had picked up the habit of changing into gym clothes in the toilets. It gave her a sense of privacy and calmed down the anxiety that sometimes threatened to spike before PE when her brain decided to resurface all the memories.

Her grip on the phone tightened before the sound of heels clacking against the stone floor pulled her attention back to the current surroundings. Their biology teacher, Mrs Milton greeted the students in the hallway before opening the door to the classroom.

Sarah took her seat and pulled out the book. A lesson on the biology of cells would once again await. She tried to focus but found her mind wandering. What was Castiel doing? Was he even awake yet? Would he like to go to town? Probably, if he once again tried to escape from his parents. Sarah hoped that spending time with his parents would make Castiel dislike them little less. Franz and Audrey were nice, even though a bit too overbearing, especially Audrey. She was nice too but got too excited sometimes. Her mother was a bit similar, Sarah realized. Maybe slightly more restrained and calmer but with the same attitude, especially in the teasing department.

Sarah sighed and turned a page on her notebook. Would Castiel be interested in meeting her mother more officially? They had already met of course but in a stressful setting. It’d probably be nicer to sit down and have dinner together and talk in peace. And Castiel should maybe meet Steffie too. Sarah had seen Ares, so it was almost the same thing. She should ask him. After that it’d be easier to bring Castiel home. If he wanted to visit her. Sarah preferred to be at Castiel’s house because he was usually alone but now his parents were there. They would have just as much privacy in either place but at least Castiel could have a break from his parents.

The train of thought crashed when the bell rang and released the students. Sarah sighed and packed her books. She had zero motivation but luckily there were only few more hours to go. She just needed to survive until lunch and that would hopefully give her enough energy to trudge through rest of the day.

The hallways of the school were packed with students. The bell had rung few minutes earlier, and everyone was rushing to get out. Sarah was pushed and shoved one way and the other when she tried to navigate in the congestion heading towards the stairs. Sometimes it felt like the amount of students in the school suddenly doubled when it was time to go home. The halls were never packed this full at normal times.

“Hey, Sarah. Nice to see you,” Arthur’s voice sounded next to her ear. His hand clapped on her shoulder. The sudden appearance made Sarah start but quickly a smile rose on her face.

“Hey. How are you?” she asked when Arthur settled to walk next to her.

“I’m good. Gonna head to see my grandparents this the weekend. I can finally go there without seeing it as a massive reference for that damn painting.”

“I feel you,” Sarah laughed. “It’s such a relief to finally be done with the drawing. It took way too long to finish it.”

“I’m gonna do something simple and mindless for the rest of the course.”

“Maybe Mr Roe really would let us throw paint on a canvas in the name of abstract art.”

“Or art therapy. I feel like I need some.”

Sarah chuckled again while trying to reach her coat from behind six people who couldn’t bother moving out of the way. It would be nice to do something relaxing with art after weeks of stress and finger cramps their main work had caused.

“Maybe he could bring some of the kittens for us,” Sarah pondered when they walked out. “I’m sure they’d be adorable to draw.”

“That would be great. Or some of the other cats maybe. It’d probably be hard to bring kittens. They’d be all over the place,” Arthur laughed.

“True… I really like Dada. Her colours are so interesting.”

Dada was a tiny tortoise coloured cat, and the colourful fur made her a challenging but fun model for drawing. She was also very loving and enjoyed pets, adding to her adorableness.

“True. She’s really challenging to draw. I like Baroque. He’s big and hairy and…”

Arthur’s words trailed off when he noticed Castiel. He was waiting few meters away from the school gates and the worst foot traffic. He stared at Arthur and Sarah with furrowed brow.

Sarah’s stomach made a happy flip. A smile lit up on her face, and she walked to Castiel leaving Arthur a few steps behind.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she said and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek.

Castiel draped his arm around Sarah’s shoulder and pulled her close. He glared at Arthur.

“What are you doing with her?” he asked.

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“We were just talking like friends do. Is it forbidden to talk to her? If so, you’re keeping her in quite a short leash.”

Castiel’s shoulders tensed. Somehow Arthur sounded defensive and accusing at the same time.

“I don’t trust you, Curls. I know you have feelings towards her.”

“What feelings? You’re being paranoid. I only see her as a friend.”

“Yeah, sure. And I’m the Queen of England.”

“Do you accuse your blonde friend too when he talks to Sarah? Because I’ve seen them talk a lot the past few weeks. Might want to start cracking on his case too.”

Castiel gritted his teeth and pulled Sarah closer to his side.

“Stop, both of you,” Sarah sighed. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I think it’s your boyfriend who’s being ridiculous. Jealousy isn’t a good sign, Sarah. Next thing you know, he’ll be checking your phone to see who you text and not letting you go see your friends because he ‘wants to have you all for himself’.

“Shut up. You don’t know anything,” Castiel growled.

“Maybe. Maybe not. I just don’t want my friend to get trapped in a toxic relationship with a controlling boyfriend. Stand your ground, Sarah. And let me know if you need any help.”

He walked past Castiel and Sarah, touching her arm and smiling reassuringly.

Sarah replied with a faint smile. She turned to look at Castiel who stared at the pavement with his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Castiel?”

His arm dropped from her shoulder, and he took a step away. His hands clenched to fists.

“Do you think I’m controlling?” he whispered. He raised his eyes to meet Sarah’s. “Am I clingy?”

Sarah felt a stab in her gut. She remembered what Castiel had told about Rachel. How she had accused him of not trusting her while cheating him with another guy.

Sarah took Castiel’s hands in hers and squeezed them gently.

“I don’t think you are clingy. You’re jealous but you don’t need to be. Arthur and I are just friends. Even if he had more feelings for me, I don’t have them towards him. I like you. And I hope you will trust me when I say that.”

“I do trust you,” Castiel sighed. “I just… I don’t know. I can’t help thinking that someone’s gonna steal you from me. That I’m not good enough.”

“No one’s going to steal me. I’m not that easily swayed.”

“But what if you find someone better?”

“If that happens, I’ll tell you. I won’t be seeing anyone behind your back or lying to you. I promise. Right now, I love you and I don’t want anyone else.”

Castiel stared at her with mouth slightly open.

The silence that stretched between them helped Sarah’s brain to catch up to what she had said. Her face flushed red and her heart dropped somewhere deep in her stomach. Oh no. She hadn’t planned on saying those words. They had just slipped out. But she also hadn’t lied. She did love Castiel. At least she was pretty sure what she felt was love. It was hard to say since she hadn’t never experienced it before.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it. It just slipped from my mouth. I feel a lot towards you. I think it is love but I’m not sure. I know it’s early to say it and you don’t need to say it back or anything. I’m sorry.”

The words dropped from her mouth as a jumbled mess; she barely breathed between them. When Sarah finally took a shaky breath, tears of panic prickled in the corners of her eyes. She was scared she had messed up. What if she had announced her feeling too early? What if that scared Castiel and pushed him away? What if she was mistaken and wasn’t in love? Would that disappoint Castiel? Or make him feel betrayed?

Sarah considered running away when Castiel touched her shoulder. He had a soft look in his eyes, and he pulled Sarah against him in a tight hug.

For a few seconds Sarah was frozen in surprise but soon wrapped her arms around Castiel.

Castiel’s breath was warm on Sarah’s neck when he whispered in her ear:

“I love you too.”

Sarah smiled against Castiel’s shoulder. Her heart fluttered in her chest.

Castiel’s fingers brushed her hair. Sarah moved her head so she could look at Castiel. She smiled and pressed a kiss on his lips.

Castiel pulled Sarah closer and kissed her back. His heart beat loud and fast. His head was fuzzy. Sarah loved him. He loved her. He hadn’t really thought about it too much. He hadn’t wanted to get ahead of himself. But saying it out loud felt right.

They stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, forgetting that they were in public. Few people from school walked past and whispered to each other. Older people shook their heads to the public shows of affinity. A few people smiled at young love.

Finally, Sarah stepped away, a faint blush on her cheeks and happy smile on her face. Castiel brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and pressed a kiss on her forehead. He took her hand and they started walking down the street.

After a few moments of silence Sarah glanced at Castiel.

“By the way, would you like to come for dinner tomorrow?” she asked. “If you don’t have any plans and you want to meet my mother and sister, like officially. You don’t have to.”

Castiel was silent for a moment. The idea made him nervous, but he’d have to do it eventually. He had already met Sarah’s mother so another meeting shouldn’t be too bad. Maybe he could use it as way to convince Sarah that he trusted her. He wanted to be with her, and meeting her family was part of that.

“I’d love to. I don’t have any plans.”

“Great. I’ll text you with more info. Do you want to go for a coffee?”

“Always.”

“You can pick the place then.”

Castiel squeezed her fingers and took course to his favourite café. Sarah still hadn’t experienced it, and this occasion required something better than average chain store coffee.

Castiel led them to the rock café they had visited before. Last time Sarah hadn’t gone inside because of Tim. When she walked inside, she was hit by a delicious scent of roasted coffee beans. Sarah took a deep breath. The barista greeted Castiel with a nod and a smile

“What would you like?” Castiel asked Sarah.

His arm was wrapped around her waist casually, but it made Sarah blush when so many people could see it. Castiel brushed his thumb over her hip, and Sarah shivered.

She gathered her thoughts with a deep breath and skimmed through the list of drinks.

“I’d like to try that cinnamon and vanilla rooibos tea,” she said and looked at Castiel.

He nodded and asked for the tea and a cup of black coffee.

“Anything else?”

“I’m fine with just the tea.”

“Two chocolate muffins,” Castiel said anyway.

They received their order and headed to a secluded corner table.

Sarah sat down and breathed in the scent of her tea. Castiel slid on the seat next to her, so close that their shoulders touched. It caused a little shiver dance down Sarah’s neck. She sipped her tea and hummed in pleasure. It tasted lovely. The taste of cinnamon was clear but not too strong to drown out the soft hint of vanilla in the background.

Castiel poured a tiny packet of sugar in his coffee before taking a sip. For a moment they just sat in silence and enjoyed their drinks. The 80s rock classics played through the speakers. Castiel tapped his finger against the table in the beat of the song.

“How was your day?” Sarah asked then.

“Alright. I tried to teach mum and dad how to take care of Ares.”

“How did it go?”

“Pretty okay, I guess. Dad’s probably gonna take care of most of the things. The hardest part is going to be keeping mum from giving Ares ridiculous amounts of treats. He’ll get fat.”

Sarah chuckled and reached for the chocolate muffin. She took a bite and closed her eyes. The indulgent flavour of chocolate spread through her mouth.

“This muffin tastes so good,” she sighed. “But about Ares, maybe you could take the treats from his dinner? Like you set the bowl ready and if someone wants to give him a treat, they could take from the bowl. He gets the same amount of food but also gets a treat.”

“Could be worth trying. I’ll have to see if mum listens to my instructions.”

He bit into a muffin as well, and Sarah could see a flicker of enjoyment on his face.

“Oh, by the way, Miss Cassidy gave her feedback on the baby project,” Sarah said, remembering that she had been given a task. She rummaged through her back and pulled slightly crumbled papers for Castiel. “That’s your journal with comments.”

Castiel took the papers and unfolded them, staring at the grade in disbelief.

“A? What the hell?”

Sarah couldn’t help laughing a bit.

“Don’t be so surprised. You were an excellent father,” she grinned.

“I’m inclined to disagree.”

Castiel’s eyes skimmed through the first page of comments and a few times he raised his eyebrows. Sarah was itching to know what he had written but did her best to distract herself with tea.

Soon Castiel folded the paper into small square and stuffed it in his coat pocket.

“Did you get an A as well?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Of course you did. You’re so smart.”

“I just managed to not kill a doll. And just barely. I dropped him once. Remember?”

“I do. I almost kissed you that day, didn’t I?”

“You did.” Sarah’s cheeks reddened from the memory. “I was crying because I thought you liked Mercedes. Gods, I was embarrassing.”

“I guess we both liked each other already back then. I wonder how things would be if I had kissed you.”

“I don’t know. I feel like I would’ve been even more of a mess than I was. It took me a while to figure out my feelings properly even after we started dating. Kissing me then would’ve probably made me panic. Like more than I already did.” Sarah laughed, shaking her head.

“I couldn’t exactly put my feelings into words back then either,” Castiel said and sipped his coffee, “I knew I wanted to spend more time with you, but I didn’t want to admit it was because I liked you. But every time I saw you, I got happy. And every time I saw you talking with Arthur, it irritated me. It still kinda does. You were so relaxed around him; he touched you so casually. I wanted you to be like that with me too. But you jumped if I touched you and seemed reserved in general. I thought you might be afraid of me. I made myself believe you couldn’t like me back.”

Sarah listened quietly. Castiel talking about his feelings was unexpected, but she was grateful that he opened up to her. She tended to overthink and stress, so knowing, what Castiel thought was a relief. She could question herself a little less.

“I was scared of you at first”, she confessed, “I didn’t know you and you were intimidating. But when we spent more time together, I noticed that you’re a lot nicer than what I thought from everything I’ve seen at school. You have a soft side that shows especially when you play with Ares. I think that’s what made me realize that you’re more than just all the rumours and gossip and the first impression I got.”

Sarah stared at her tea while talking. She hadn’t verbalized her thoughts before and wasn’t sure if they made any sense. It was hard to describe what she felt. She didn’t have feelings for everything that swirled in her mind. Some of them were just feelings. Like, how Castiel’s touch on her shoulder made her skin prickle but how it was different than his hand resting on the small of her back. Or how a kiss on the cheek was different than one pressed just a few centimetres lower on her jaw. She didn’t have words for what those gestures made her feel, but they were a part of what she felt towards Castiel.

“Then I’m happy, I kissed you when I did. When we were both read for it. If I had scared you away… I didn’t expect to feel this much towards you. I thought I loved Rachel, and maybe I did, but it never felt like this. I know we’re in the beginning of our relationship still but… I don’t know. This just feels so right. Natural. Like I’m supposed to be here with you.”

Castiel turned to look at Sarah when she leaned her head against his shoulder. A warm smile softened his features when he brushed over her cheek with his thumb.

“I’m happy to hear that. I feel the same way. I haven’t been in a relationship before, so I don’t have anything to compare this to, but I like being with you. I miss you when you’re away and I can’t wait to see you again. Maybe it sounds silly, but I can’t help it.”

Castiel didn’t reply, but he gently turned Sarah’s head just enough so that he could kiss her. He hoped the touch of his lips would deliver his feelings to her, and that his forehead pressed against hers would send his thoughts to her, so Sarah would know he loved her so much.

Sarah was happy she had told she loved Castiel even though it had been an accident. She felt like it had helped them both realise their feelings. He loved her as well. And that thought made Sarah’s heart close to bursting.