《Regulating Miracles》(6-6) Lowering the Average
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Location: Hospital Room
Time: 4:55 PM, January 4th, 2108
“Wow, Alec, what’s wrong?”
Kanon was sitting beside the bed I was in. She must have been surprised because I sat up so suddenly.
“Ah, it’s nothing. I was just having a weird dream.”
I should have thought up a better excuse.
“Oh, that’s it? I was worried for a moment.”
“Really? For some reason you don’t seem like the type to be worried about me.”
“Shut up. Who would be worried about someone like you?”
That was the kind of response I was waiting for.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I don’t know how it happened, but after passing out someone must have taken me to the hospital. “Not that I’m complaining, but in the ninth grade I got my appendix taken out and no one came to visit me. It’s pretty shocking to have a visitor right off the bat.”
“Well, we’re teammates after all. Besides, I needed to visit the hospital anyway.”
Her shirt wasn’t resting smoothly on her shoulder. It was probably bandaged up. Kanon didn’t seem to be the type to talk about her injuries, so I didn’t feel like bringing it up.
“I also got a message from the Deputy Chief. She wanted everyone to meet up here.”
“Huh? In my hospital room? Why?”
“I can’t say. I’ve yet to understand why she does anything she does.”
“True. Trying to figure her out would just be a waste of energy. But, hey, if you’re here, that means you guys found Olivia, right?”
“Ah, um, yes everything went fine.”
Kanon’s face was turning red.
“She’s in safe hands. But no, not literally, no one is putting his hands on Olivia. Especially not someone who shouldn’t be touching her like that.”
Based on that reaction it sounded like Kanon had discovered the ARA’s third worst kept secret. I decided to have a bit of fun with her.
“Oliver must have been pretty excited to see her, right?”
“Yeah, she took his breath away. I mean, it, it took his breath away. Olivia wasn’t taking any breath away.”
“Siblings are great, huh? Aren’t you jealous of how close they are, Kanon?”
“They’re certainly close, but, but I can’t say I’m jealous.”
“Really? Don’t you have any siblings?”
“Yes, three. But don’t misunderstand, I’m not interested in that kind of thing.”
“In what kind of thing? I thought we were talking about being close to your siblings?”
“Ugh, yeah, being close is good. You can’t get too close though, there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Not that anyone is crossing them.”
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“And what lines are those?”
“What is this, an inquisition? I definitely didn’t see anything, so stop asking me questions that keep reminding me of what I didn’t see. What about you? Any siblings?”
“I’ve got two younger sisters and a-”
What was I saying? It must have been because of that dream.
“Yeah, just two sisters. They’re twins. And don’t worry, we have a normal relationship.”
“A normal relationship?”
“Pretty much. They don’t make eye contact with me, they always forget my birthday, they ignore my calls, and last week I asked one of them for a bite of the cake I bought her and she said she’d rather lick the floor. You know, just normal sibling stuff.”
“I think that’s too far beyond normal. Your own sister would do something disgusting like licking the floor before sharing a meal with you.”
“It’s not that bad. Say what you want about me, but my parents keep a clean house. Their floor is probably cleaner than the tables at most restaurants.”
“That’s not the point.”
“And what exactly is the point?”
“I’m starting to think there isn’t one.”
“Exactly. What are you two talking about?”
I hadn’t noticed her come in, but the Chief was scanning the room. I’m willing to bet she was looking for a place to sit. Kanon was already using the only chair the room had for guests, so she had to stand. You can’t blame the hospital staff for that though. If I'd have been conscious I’d have let them know that even one chair was probably going to be overkill.
“Why are you here? And why did you tell Kanon we were meeting in my hospital room?”
It might not seem like it, but I was injured. I needed some time to rest.
“What? Is being in the same room as two beautiful women too much for someone like you? Don’t worry, everyone else should get here soon. I even brought you some water.”
The Chief threw me a bottle of ice before sitting down on the stool usually reserved for the doctor.
“Deputy Chief Kaldsen, I believe that seat is for the doctor.”
“Not an issue, Cannon. A cool and beautiful woman like me can sit wherever she wants. This stool is lucky to have me sitting on it.”
“You just called yourself beautiful twice, shouldn’t you be a bit more modest?” Kanon seemed intent on having a meaningless conversation.
“No need, I’m feeling pretty good right now. Things have been working out in my favor. Earlier today I couldn’t land a hit on that girl, but then it started raining. I’m unstoppable in the rain. If it wasn’t for that unforecasted rain who knows what might’ve happened.”
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“Ah, Deputy Chief Kaldsen, that rain was actually-”
“I can’t let that stand. If it wasn’t for that rain I would’ve been fine. It messed up my entire plan. Totally ruined everything. I’m even thinking of sending a strongly worded letter to my local meteorologist. It screwed over that other guy too. That rain was definitely bad luck. The work of a demon. And sorry for interrupting you Kanon, but I just had to get that off my chest.”
“Don’t worry about it. I wasn't saying anything.”
Hmm? It seemed like she had more to say before I cut her off.
“Hey, Asher. I heard you got stabbed a few times. Must be pretty embarrassing after what you said this morning.” Another uninvited visitor entered my room with an unnecessary comment.
“I realize that you’re incredibly relieved that Olivia is safe, Oliver, but don’t forget my name so easily. It’s Alec, not Asher.”
Oliver looked for a place to sit down. He walked over to the doctor’s desk and sat on top of it.
“Oliver, I believe that table is for the doctor to use. You shouldn’t be sitting on it.”
“Not an issue, Kanon. The Chief is already using the doctor’s stool, so he wouldn’t be able to use his desk anyway. More importantly, I need to finish this up as soon as possible. Olivia and Oakley wanted to visit Short Stuff, so I had to come to the hospital anyway, but It’s after five. We don’t get paid by the hour, so I only want to work the bare minimum nine to five.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m fairly certain Ministry Director Kaldsen told me we started work at eight.”
No, Kanon, you were right.
“Eh, don’t sweat the small stuff."
“This won’t take long, Oliver, we just have to wait for Nora, Emelia, and Vier.” Our Chief didn’t seem concerned about Oliver’s supposed start time.
“What about us?”
Vier and Emelia walked into the room as the Chief was saying their names. A few stray sparks shot off of Vier.
“Hey! Don’t go walking into someone else’s hospital room unsealed!” I wasn’t sure if any of the electronics were keeping me alive, but I didn’t want to take that chance.
“It’ll be fine. If something kills you I’ll make sure to restart your heart.”
I’d rather not be put in that position in the first place.
Vier and Emelia each take a moment to look for a place to sit. Emelia walked back out into the hall while Vier approached my bed.
“Scoot over.”
“Excuse me?”
“Move your legs or something. It’s getting crowded in here and you don’t need the whole bed.”
I scooted back and crossed my legs. Vier sat down on the newly available space at the end of the bed.
“Artificial human, that bed is for the patient, and the patient is Alec.”
“Not an issue, Non. Lec is a tough guy, he'll be fine."
Emelia re-entered the room. Her hood was still pulled up, covering most of her face, but she was carrying a chair.
“Did you take that from someone else’s room?”
“Yeah, but it was just sitting around.”
“Emelia, that chair is for the visitors of other patients. We’re not the only people in this hospital.”
“Not an issue, Kanon. Take what you can. That’s the law where I grew up. Besides, I got this chair from my, friend’s room.”
Emelia’s voice was strained as she pushed out the word ‘friend.’ No one else may have noticed, but I could understand feelings like that.
“Alright, everyone. Now we just need Nora and we can get started.”
“Um, actually I’m, I’m already here.” Nora was standing along one of the walls.
“Woh, Nora. I didn’t notice you coming in at all. You just pulled an Alec, no offense.” The surprise on the Chief's face was genuine.
“I’m pretty sure I should be the one taking offense to that. Don’t attach such a negative connotation to my name. And apologize to all the other Alecs in the world.” I’m probably lowering the average of Alecs everywhere. They can’t all be on my level, I definitely shouldn’t be used as our representative.
We all waited patiently to see where Nora would sit.
“Um, I’m, fine. I’ll, um, stand.”
For some reason Kanon looked the most disappointed in her answer.
“I thought I heard some people having fun. It’s pretty lively in here.”
A familiar voice was coming from the other side of the room. The man who had previously identified himself as Kanon’s subordinate was sitting in the window frame.
How’d he even open the window from the outside?
“Who is this? I know it’s not a friend of yours.” The Chief was the first to address his presence.
“Don’t bring up my lack of friends so casually. And don’t you remember? This is the guy that tried to help us earlier, before running away, leaving me for dead.”
“Yup, yup, that’s me. Glad to see you made it out. But for everyone else, you probably don’t remember me, this isn’t our first meeting though.”
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