Location: Information Lady’s Room

Time: Wednesday, Noonish

“Sara has recently fallen in love. Unsure where to go from there. Right? Right. Sara doesn’t know if someone like you has that kind of experience.” Probably not.

“Experience? I’ve got lifetimes of that. Only with one person though. You see, I’ve only ever dated one person, and we ended up getting married.” Sara wasn’t expecting the information lady to give a response like that.

“You’re married?”

“Well, technically not yet. But we are engaged though.”

“Still impressive. You must be good with love. The right person to help Sara.”

“Well, technically he hasn’t proposed to me yet, but he’s going to soon enough.”

“One of those relationships then. Sara has heard about it.”

“Well, technically we aren’t in a relationship yet, but we are going to start dating soon.”

“Sara has lost faith. Right? Right. Can you actually give advice?”

“Sure. What seems to be the problem?”

“All of it.”

“Ah, that makes things easier. It’s easier to help someone at your stage because the advice is so simple. Just talk to her.”

“About pastries?”

“About anything. Well, anything except her family. That girl is starved for any kind of interaction that doesn’t have to do with her family, or her stigma, or anything like that.” Hmm? Did she know about Sara’s wife? “Just normal conversation. Just be decent. Treat her like you expected to be treated.”

“But she’s not Sara.”

“Yes, but treat her nicely anyway.”

Brilliant! Sara didn’t understand, but brilliant!

“The difficult part is what comes next. You’ve got to make sure she continues to enjoy your company.”

“No, that part won’t be a problem for Sara. Sara is perfect, inside and out. Great personality, right? Right. Super attractive, right? Right. Sara’s looks alone are more than enough. It is unthinkable for anyone to not enjoy spending time with Sara.”

“Really? Just because of looks?” How did the information lady not understand something so simple?

“Of course. Appearance is the second most important thing in the world.”

Somehow Sara became the teacher.

“Are you sure about that? I mean, that kind of goes against what everyone always says.”

“Of course. Listen to Sara. Any pets?”

“No, never. I haven't even grown a plant.”

“Family?”

“I’ve got some of them.”

“Do they have pets?”

“My sister has two cats back home. If you bring up anything related she’ll talk about them a ‘normal’ amount.”

“And what is her favorite thing to say? About the cats.”

“Probably that they’re cute. Especially when they were kittens.”

“Exactly. And people get dogs and rabbits and hamsters for the same reason. You getting why?” Sara was an excellent teacher. No surprise.

“I think so. Because they’re all mammals, and mammals make the best pets. Mammals generally like to be pet, so it works out. They have special nerve endings on their skin that makes being pet a stress relieving experience. Humans are the same way. Ah, but what about fish? People keep fish as pets.”

“No, no. No, no, no. You’re not getting it. Sara is trying to say people only keep cute pets. A gerbil and a rat are pretty much the same animal, but keeping a gerbil is normal. Why? Because it’s cute.”

“And as for fish. Sara doesn’t feel right calling any fish cute, but people only keep the pretty ones. Sara once watched a deep sea show. Most of the things swimming around down there look messed up. Sara could tell they spent the last million years evolving in complete darkness. People don’t keep those ugly ones. They only keep the pretty ones. Appearance truly is the second most important thing in this world.”

“I’m starting to think you might be right about this. But why are you only telling me now? What’s different this time?”

Hmm?

“By the way, what’s the most important thing in this world?” More questions for Sara. The information lady was finally coming to understand Sara’s depth of knowledge.

“Sara, of course. Sara is the protagonist.”

“I figured. Still though, this is cause for concern. I’ve been telling Allison her whole life not to worry about looks.”

“Who?”

“My sister. The person who brought you here.”

“Ah, the second hostage. Eh, Sara wouldn’t worry about her. She doesn’t stand out, but Sara could tell that girl puts a lot of effort into looking normal. If anything, Sara thinks the information lady should be more concerned with herself.”

“Myself?”

“Exactly. You’re ridiculously dressed, and to put it nicely, your face is all messed up.”

“Is it really that noticeable?”

“Sara thinks it’s impossible not to notice. Right? Right.”

“That’s not good. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I didn’t think it would change anything, but what if it does? Clearly there’s at least one person who values me differently this time. What should I do about this? Let me tell you now that surgery isn’t an option. It’s safe to think this is the result of my stigma going out of control.”

“Alright, Sara can help. Get up on the desk. Sara needs to see you from a different angle.”

“Okay, okay.” The information lady put her chair on her desk, and then climbed up herself.

“Yup. Looks terrible. But if you ignore the messed up part your face isn’t that bad. Sara knows what to do. Right? Right.”

Sara reached into one of Sara pockets and pulled out a small bottle.

Sara’s dress had pockets. Not very relevant, Sara just wanted to say. About the pockets. It’s ridiculous that women's clothes don't usually have them. Everything for guys is loaded with pockets. Pockets they don’t need. Give those pockets to Sara. Lots of women’s clothes that do have pockets are just fashion pockets. You can’t fit much in fashion pockets.

“Hairspray.”

Sara went to toss it, but Sara remembered what happened with the bag. Sara decided to hand it to the information lady.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Gather as much hair as you need to cover the left side of your face, then spray it. It won’t be perfect, but it will definitely hide most of it. If you take your time in the morning you should be able to cover it up even more.”

She did as Sara told her to.

“How is it?”

“Not perfect. Better than before.”

Still pretty bad. Sara never had to do any work to make Sara look good, so Sara didn’t know what advice to give.

“Nice. You want this hairspray back?”

“No, the information lady can keep it. Sara didn’t even know it was there. Sara just reached in a random pocket knowing she’d find what she needed.”

“Thanks. I feel like this will be a good one for us. I feel like we’re becoming good friends.”

“Hmm? Sara doesn’t understand, but everything is always a good one for Sara.”

“Sure, sure. I’d like to give you a final piece of advice before you leave though. Talking with you has been fun, so I’d rather not have you die. If you come across a woman with an ice based augmentation, don’t try fighting her. That woman can’t see maybes or almosts. Your ability won’t work on her. That’s doubly true in the rain."

“Sara’s not worried, but Sara will listen. You want to be Sara’s friend, so it’s only natural Sara would pretend to listen to you. Should we trade names?”

“An introduction? That’s not necessary. There’s a reason I didn’t bother with it from the beginning. The man that came with you isn’t long for this world, and you wouldn’t remember anyway.”

Nice. The information lady was a good lady. Not as good as Sara’s wife, and definitely not as good as Sara, but still pretty good.