Sara couldn’t stand it anymore. Boring, boring, talk, talk, talk. Sara couldn’t stand the narrators that weren’t Sara. Sara had to start her section early or no one would have kept reading long enough for Sara to make a return. For Sara to shine.

Sara’s wife was one thing, but the rest of those plot devices were just taking up time.

Sara is supposed to be talking about love. Ah, love. Sara is relatively new to feeling it, but Sara is used to being on the receiving end of it. Sara has lived life receiving endless amounts of love. Unlimited love. Everything loves Sara. The universe itself only exists to love Sara.

Sara could press random buttons on a vending machine and it will always give Sara’s favorite snack. Always pastries. And if it doesn’t have any pastries a truck carrying pastries will crash. A pastry truck. Then Sara can eat all that she wants. It’s not considered stealing if the driver is dead. Not stealing, only pastries.

If Sara buys a cute new umbrella it will certainly rain, so Sara can show it off. One hundred percent chance of rain. And if there is an unreasonable drought a pastry truck will crash into a water tower. Water splashes onto everyone, but not Sara. Sara is dry under her cute umbrella, happily eating pastries.

If Sara has a target to kill, they will die. A water tower will fall on them while Sara is kept dry under her cute umbrella, happily eating pastries. Right? Right.

Actually happened to Sara before. Twice. Double pastry truck crash.

That’s how Sara’s life has gone.

Everything goes Sara’s way. Sara’s way. The only way. Sara was even able to find her true love. The person who could bring Sara the one thing the universe couldn’t.

Pain.

Sara didn’t like it, so it was taken away. No more pain for Sara. But it didn’t come back. Pain went farther and farther away from Sara. Even after Sara started to forget. About Pain, about the difference between being alive and being a pastry.

Sara’s true love brought it back. Reminded Sara of being alive.

Sara couldn’t love until she met pain again.

Pie tastes better than ever now that Sara remembers. Right? Right.

Sara still has work to do though. Sara knows how to be loved by everything, but Sara needs to learn how to love a small piece of the universe back. If Sara didn’t hold back her perfection the absolute scale of her love would be too much for anyone else. Even for Sara’s true love. Sara’s (soon to be) wife.

Stop and think? Maybe. Wasn’t usually Sara’s style, but Sara would have to accommodate for Sara’s wife.

Either way, Sara would learn all Sara needed to learn about love. Nothing could stop that. Everything involving Sara is an inevitability.

The universe has chosen Sara as the protagonist, and who could blame it? No one, Sara doesn’t want them to. And if Sara doesn’t want it, it can’t happen. Simple as that. Simple as Crêpes Suzette.

Sara was even able to start her section before the last one ended. What are the odds of a book’s chapters being out of order?