The morning began with Itxaro feeding Eneko and all the other tasks required to keep him healthy and calm. She resumed her examinations from yesterday of the remaining expecting mothers and was finished well before noon.

It was around that time Alvah and Desdomena left their chambers. Itxaro was actually surprised they stayed in for so long, halfexpecting to discover they went out for a walk at some point while she was checking her charges’ health.

The man greeted her, waving with a hand filled with what appeared to be a spool of black string while he leaned on his staff. As Itxaro approached them, it became clear that what she thought was string was some sort of yarn with a distinct sheen to it.

“May I ask you a favor?” he inquired with a slight smile that would have seemed ordinary for anyone else. However, Itxaro was accustomed to his genuine expressions seeming more wooden.

“I believe I still owe you something more as an apology for how how I was a few days ago,” Itxaro answered. “If not that, then for my lessons.”

“You think so? I do not believe you do but if you think that, I will not reject this opportunity. I would think I am indebted to you for all you have done. If you find that I ask for too much, feel free to say that I will be the one to owe you later.”

Itxaro shrugged off those concerns. It was simply nice to be on good terms with the two again. They trusted her with knowledge of his past the way they trusted her with the truth of their connection. “What do you need me to do?”

“I need you to distract Desdomena for me.”

Those words were spoken softly but they struck like hammer. Her heart leaped as they entered her ears. She clinched her teeth.

She pointed a finger at Alvah then at Desdomena and swayed it between the two. She adjusted her grip around Eneko, his weight reassured her this was reality rather than the beginning of a nightmare. “You want me to get between you and her?” Itxaro forced a nervous smile so what she said could be taken as a jest. “You are still angry with me, aren't you?”

“He is most certainly not,” Desdomena declared.

“And you approve of this?” Itxaro asked the one she was most concerned about.

“Depends on whether or not it all proves worthwhile,” Desdomena stated. “This is the only time he has to form a secret from me before it is unveiled.”

This had to have something to do with the birds from yesterday. Did he turn the feathers into the yarn he had?

“How long?” Itxaro asked Alvah. “How long do you need me to distract Desdomena.”

“Two hours minimum but I would ask for four,” Alvah requested.

*****

Alvah returned to the chamber and the aberration followed Itxaro into her home. The aberration remained a material presence hovering over Itxaro as the young woman prepared lunch and fed Eneko. Desdomena remained surprisingly docile, faking the occasional yawn while studying Itxaro’s every move.

Itxaro the Elder of course noticed their guest as they entered. “Why is the familiar here without a master?” the elder asked after being served a meal.

“I-“ Itxaro began.

“Alvah had something he needed to do without me around but did not want you to worry that I was wandering around freely. Who better to keep an eye on me but our hosts?”

“That is…” Itxaro the Elder began. “Considerate of him. But what could require him to have his familiar leave his side?”

“Well, you know,” the aberration insinuated. “Even wisemen need peace and quiet so they can…” She made a crude gesture. “Ahem.”

The elder frowned. She seemed ready say something. She looked Itxaro in the eyes as if to communicate some kind of signal but the aberration was in the room with them.

“I am going to my room,” Itxaro declared. Retreating from the scene.

*****

“Such a large room yet so sparsely decorated,” the aberration observed before sitting in Lady Itxaro’s bed and testing it with a little bounce. “Two beds? This one is really soft. I have not rested on something so comfortable in years.”

“I sleep in the same room as my mother,” Itxaro informed her. “And that is her bed. Please get off it.”

There was a moment that passed where Itxaro expected resistance. “Since you asked so nicely,” the aberration obliged with a smile.

The aberration examined the room a second time. “I was expecting dried herbs and mortars. But this place is so…” The aberration trailed off. “Empty.”

“The herbs are stored away. If I need any, I retrieve them.”

“Your family is quite organized,” the aberration complimented. “Do they leave enough time in your schedule to have fun?”

Itxaro did not want to answer that.

“Why do you do what you do, anyway?” Desdomena asked, her attention turning to the window as she floated towards it.

“Someone has to do it,” Itxaro answered.

“Do you enjoy it?” Desdomena did not look their way but pointed at Eneko. “Do you enjoy having to put up with the most troublesome days of a child’s life and just as you might get attached part ways with them once your time is done?”

The way Desdomena phrased it rang true. Itxaro knew what was to happen and avoided most attempts of attachment. Still one does not ensure a child’s health by being neglectful so she did grow to care but it hurt less and less each time. Now, she was not even sure if she felt anything anymore, certainly not joy or satisfaction. She did not even give a child a name until Eneko.

“No,” Itxaro spoke to Desdomena’s back.

“So, why does it have to be you?”

“It is my responsibility.”

Desdomena stuck out her tongue in disgust. “I hate that word. Probably the worst thing humans ever invented. The only thing you are responsible for are your actions. If there is a role to be filled someone else can do it. If you want to heal someone, heal them. If you want to kill someone, kill them. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.”

Whatever moral guidance the aberration might offer was hollow to Itxaro. Itxaro could not even tell if Desdomena was lying or being genuine. Considering everything, she took this to be the aberration’s honest opinion but the aberration also took pride in breaking bones so any ideal spouted by the inhuman thing was not worth consideration.

“If everyone did what they wanted, there would be chaos.”

Roles existed for a reason. Too many hunters invited disaster the way in the old days too few farmers brought famine.

“I thought you were the one among us that thought humans were orderly,” Desdomena recalled as she turned her head to Itxaro. “Yes, there would probably be anachary, the reasons one might resort to murder are petty but the world is already in ruins. Can you burn down what is already ashes? So, why not leave the responsibilities to your mother if it troubles you? Why not leave this little burden of yours-“ the aberration gestured to Eneko, “-behind and run into the wilderness to live a carefree life.”

“I would die,” Itxaro swiftly informed her.

“I think you would survive if someone bothered to teach you how to avoid things like me. It is quite simple, live alone then run and hide if you notice anything big and scary… Wait, I think that would just make them want to chase you more. Oh well. Death is a fine alternative to living a boring life.”

“It is better to be bored than dead,” Itxaro stated the obvious.

“Such an unoriginal response,” the aberration frowned and looked away. Desdomena lingered at the window. “But I guess you are not so bored with us around. You had a good view of us here. We could not easily step out without being noticed.”

The aberration kept staring outside.

“Is there any chance you can see through walls?” Itxaro asked.

“Why do you ask?”

The aberration could be peaking on whatever Alvah was doing. But worse, the aberration might have been able to see all the times Itxaro watched them. “I want to make sure his secret remains a secret as long as it can.“

“If I could see through walls, I imagine just about every other aberration in existence could and your kind would be extinct,” Desdomena reasoned. “No, I can not see through walls but… I can sense through them. Imagine being able to hear and smell through walls.”

“That is normal for a human,” Itxaro reminded her.

“Indeed, you must have listened through the walls while you eavesdropped.”

Itxaro blanched. She already told them earlier to explain how she knew about Girin but it was an uncomfortable subject. “Were you aware of me?”

“I think there were a few times I noticed you but I remained quiet when I did.”

“Aren’t you mad I eavesdropped on you?”

“Should I be? If I should be angry, it should be at myself for letting you hear so much.”

“But spying is-” Itxaro began guiltily.

“Perfectly human,” Desdomena finished for her cheerfully. She looked out at the distance nostalgically. “I do miss the intricacies of normal humans.”

Receiving the approval of an aberration made Itxaro feel unclean.

“You have Alvah,” Itxaro said. “What is there to miss?”

“We both know he is abnormal,” Desdomena stated with a sigh as she turned around and moved towards Itxaro. “And there is little reason to lie when we already know each other’s every secret. Even if we were dishonest with each other, we would notice almost immediately. There is no mystery to be had.”

“He is making a mystery for you this very moment.”

Desdomena smiled gleefully. “I know,” she replied before circling behind Itxaro and resting her hands gently on the young woman’s shoulders. Itxaro barely noticed the touch. The aberration spoke into the human’s ear. “Want to spy on him with me?”

Itxaro subtly shrugged her off so she could turn and face Desdomena. “That would be rude after he finally had time alone,” she refused vehemently, offput by the offer.

“I will find out everything he did as soon as we rejoin.”

“All the more reason to not bother,” Itxaro reasoned.

“Mysteries are to be pursued, not unveiled,” the aberration appealed.

“But I think he deserves some privacy.”

“That is strange, I thought you would like the idea,” Desdomena pounded a fist into an open palm theatrically as if halted by a mental block. “Deep down many humans are voyeurs. That is why theatre was so popular, all the excitement of drama with none of the consequences for the watcher.”

“Alvah asked me to distract you just so that he could avoid being spied. There must be something else you want to do.”

“Hmmm…” the aberration rubbed a thumb over her chin in contemplation. Her hand then shot up in the air. “I got it. How about a game? Children like you like games, correct? We both need to have some fun.”

Itxaro bit her tongue to not correct the aberration. “What kind of game? I have Eneko but I could roll bones with you.”

“No games of luck. How about something that needs a little skill but not so exhausting for you?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Hide and seek. I will hide and you will seek. If you find me, you win. If you take too long, I will go spoil the surprise so try to be quick.”

There was no avoiding this. Desdomena already seemed cemented on this course.

“On a few conditions,” Itxaro demanded.

“You get to place one condition on me.”

“You have to remain in the confines of the village. No going beyond the treeline and remain outside the chamber.”

“That is very restrictive,” Desdomena begrudged. “But fine. Let’s start. Wait here and count to one hundred. Go ahead, you do not even need to close your eyes.”

Itxaro kept her eyes on the aberration as Desdomena opened the door slightly to slip through at the unfathomable speed shadows kept pace with the ones that cast them.

The first place she checked after counting was her own house, looking through every room except the elder’s for any items that might be out of place in case the aberration did not actually leave.

She thought to circle the perimeter of the forest or check every home. Desdomena invading someone’s house just to cause trouble seemed like a possibility but Itxaro would have heard of that. Instead she settled for every home whose occupant was already outside. She wanted to ask permission but explaining that she was checking to make sure an aberration was not in their home seemed it might have a not so calming effect.

After that she began circling the village, listening for any outcry from the local flora. Itxaro could not understand the mind of her guest, so she had to rely on such tricks. When she reached the eastern side, she heard distress coming from the treeline. She followed the disturbance to the eastern edge of the forest.

A particular tree was confused why there was a shadow on its branch where there should not have been one. Eneko turned his head towards the location as well as they approached.

“Isn’t hiding like that, cheating?” Itxaro called out.

The shadow rose and gained color. Desdomena perched with her feet on the branch like a vulture. Itxaro half expected her to transform into a bird. “There were no rules against it and it seemed you had some help. Was it this tree here?”

“But there was a rule against going into the treeline.”

“There was a rule against going beyond the treeline,” Desdomena phrased happily. The aberration patted on a spot on the branch beside her. “Come join me,” Desdomena invited.

“I have Eneko.”

“You make it sound like I made a request.” Desdomena’s arms stretched in a way that baffled Itxaro’s eyes. The lengthened limbs coiled around her waist. “Hold on to him if you do not want to lose him.”

Itxaro hugged onto Eneko before being hoisted up like a fish hooked on a fishing rod. She practically got thrown into her position on the limb. Her lower back and hips stand from the sudden jolt of stopping.

Itxaro’s heart raced from the unusual ride and Eneko began to cry.

“Looks like I scared him again,” the aberration noted.

“Maybe if you were not so sudden or violent about it,” Itxaro advised tensely. She focused on keeping her balance as both hands held her charge. Her every move sent a shiver of terror down her spine. “I would think he likes you.”

“Does he?” The aberration tapped his nose with a finger. Eneko opened his eyes, saw the inhuman thing and smiled as he ceased his crying. “It would be better for him to be scared. Bad things happened to those that liked me.”

Itxaro gave no response, adjusting in her seat.

“Are you scared of heights?”

“No, but…” This was different. Any reasonable person would be nervous while on a branch without a free hand. If she slipped, both she and Eneko could die.

“Pass him to me,” Desdomena held out her hands. Itxaro stared at the aberration’s hands. “I do not want to hold him but I do not want you quaking either. He is safer in my hands than yours.”

Itxaro relented. “Why did you even bring me up here?”

“Do you want the truth or a pleasant lie?”

“Does it matter which one I ask for?” Itxaro rested her arm on a neighboring branch.

“I believe I have been more honest with you than you think,” Desdomena stated. “I would say I do not remember lying all that often to you but then again I don’t remember half the things I said to you. Alvah will just correct me if I lie so it seems troublesome, I like being able to string people along but here is Alvah snipping at my strings when I am having fun.”

Was that in itself a lie or at least an exaggeration? It seemed like the aberration had a decent memory.

“What did you do before you met Alvah?” Itxaro asked.

“Let me first answer why I brought you here and you see if I am in a position to refrain from the truth or one that encourages it. You see, it is past noon and the sun is at just the angle in its journey to the west that it does not blind us yet gives us a good sight of the land while everyone else can not easily see us.”

It was true. The landscape was a beautiful sight except the houses between them. The homes blocked sight of the well and the little commerce that might be transpiring in it.

“But now you can not simply walk away from me and slam a door in my face if you do not like what I say,” the aberration chuckled menacingly. Desdomena placed a hand on Eneko’s head. “From the way you have been acting around me, I would believe you thought I spent my nights terrifying children. No, I lived according to my nature, I lured young men and women into the night never to return, gave pleasant dreams no one would want to wake from, and drove many to drink and whore themselves to death.”

Itxaro stared at Desdomena’s hands wordlessly. She opened her mouth but her heart was in her throat as her heartbeat drummed in her ears. If she demanded that the aberration return him, something worse might happen. Itxaro tried to adjust herself.

“Relax, I have not killed a human in years,” Desdomena soothed as Eneko continued to smile, ignorant of her words. “If you fall from moving around too much, it will be your own fault. You can only blame me if I happen to push you.”

“How come? Why have you not killed a human in years. You clearly can.”

Desdomena grinned evilly. “Do not think it to be due to any failing on my part. I simply had no opportunity to. You lot are too few and far between for me to play the role of predator.”

“I see… You were an allu, a tempter, right?”

“Correct.”

“Where did your more… fearsome aspects come from? I do not see people being lured in by half lions.”

“The world changed and I had to change with it if I wanted to survive,” Desdomena answered. Desdomena held Eneko out with his back to the sun so the light shined around him and stared at his outline. “Just as your people undoubtedly changed. The world was always cruel but now it is hostile to the very idea of humanity. If too many humans gather, you are rooted out. If you fear, monsters might appear. Not a time anyone should ever want to be born into yet here is a soul eager to see a world that demands his life.”

Desdomena’s eyes turned to Itxaro as the aberration brought the baby close to herself with one arm. She then used the other to support Itxaro’s back, resting a hand on the young woman’s shoulders, stabilizing her. “Do not worry,” the aberration soothed genially. “If he fell I would have an angry you in my hands and if you fell, I would have a crying baby in my hands. I will not let either of you fall for now.”

Itxaro wiggled to test what Desdomena said, the branch beneath her shook but in spite of her grip being nearly weightless, the aberration’s arm was as solid as iron, unswayed by her attempts. It oddly did make Itxaro feel better. There was this strange safety to it all. Some part her wanted to doubt but if Desdomena wanted to hurt them, she had ample opportunity to… unless the aberration was trying to lure them in with that false sense of security,

“But you think I was awful. You should have met Alvah after I first met him and how ungrateful he was for my company.”

Itxaro looked away and said nothing. If this was what he had for company everyday, it was a miracle he was not a blabbering lunatic. It was no wonder their connection was so unhealthy.

Desdomena’s grip on her shoulder tightened just enough to hurt. “He once intended to kill me, you know,” Desdomena said solemnly with none of her usual energy. She ran her fingers over Eneko’s eyes to close them. For a moment, Itxaro felt what might have been sympathy. “If he ever met another human, he was going to replace me with them. He had to because he knew what I would do if I had the chance to hurt him so deeply.”

“Why do you enjoy hurting people?” Itxaro asked calmly as she regarded the aberration.

“Do you know how difficult it is to make people happy?” Desdomena asked, regaining a spark of cheer that grew with each word. “Even back when there was still hope in this world, people just wanted more and more and more. It is so much easier to make someone sad, panic, or despair. All you have to do is apply a little pain and they will cry out and ask why. And when they find there is no reason to their torment they grow angry or wallow in their suffering.”

That made sense but that answered nothing at the same time. At least it explained why Desdomena did not go around trying to bring cheer into the world.

“But why?” Itxaro asked again. “Why would you do that?”

“Because it is fun,” Desdomena answered. “Why do you like to hurt people?”

“I do not like to hurt people!” Itxaro exclaimed.

Eneko’s eyes opened and stared at Itxaro, Desdomena traced the child’s gaze. “Then why do you do it? You take people from their families, condemn them to the same life as yourself if they are to be so unfortunate.”

“How is that hurting them? I am just doing my duty.” Itxaro defended against the baseless claim.

“Have you never loved or hated someone enough to know that person's weaknesses? Are you so loveless that you do not know how to hurt another person?” Desdomena exaggerated. “It is not with simple cuts and bruises.”

“Then tell me how I hurt people,” Itxaro challenged.

Desdomena’s hand around Eneko crawled on his face like a spider. Dancing around his eye. One wrong move and she could poke it out. “If you want someone to suffer, you hurt anyone other than them.”

"I do not like separating people…" Itxaro admitted. A vision of a stillborn baby passed through her mind. A full moon then filled her mind's eye. "And other things. I do not enjoy those parts of my duty. But if you think that is all that must be done then why did you break Alvah's leg?"

“Why are you so fixated on that?” Desdomena asked with annoyance. “It was for a trick as you know. I meant him no harm with that, not the kind you expect. If I wanted to hurt him, I would not touch him. Breaking his leg was me just playing with him, a prelude to the torment I had ready.”

“What torment did you have ready?”

“A fate worse than death.”

“There is no such thing,” Itxaro scoffed.

Desdomena looked at her, bemused. “Do you honestly think killing someone is the worst thing you can do to another person? How unimaginative.”

“Death is a part of life but it is also where life loses all value,” Itxaro stated. “There is nothing more that can be gained from the person if they die.”

Of course there were exceptions. There were times when people were a greater burden on others than they were worth.

“So, if I killed Alvah, the act of murder would be worse than all the potential torments I could inflict on him instead?”

That gave Itxaro pause as she tried to consider the myriad of ways a person might be tortured. “… I suppose… If you did it the way I think you would. You would not even make it quick.”

“True, I would not make it quick. So, the worst thing I could do is slowly kill him? Well, I have not killed him. What is wrong with me playing with him instead if it is not worse?”

“Because it is unnecessary.”

“Nievity like yours should be considered a crime. I think I could forgive your crime if you at least acknowledged what I am doing as worse than killing but you think the worst possible fate is death. That viewpoint is that of a saint. When presented with such a mundane reality as the ultimate evil all other evils are justified to combat it. That would seem hypocritical to me. I do not like hypocrites. They are a symptom of a boring society. Enforcing rules on others they themselves do not even intend to follow. I should love such souls for their deviousness but I do not. Yet, you bother me over something silly as a broken leg.”

“Would torturing someone until they die simply be an excruciatingly slow death?” Itxaro retorted.

“Now, that is a good way for you to look at it. But I am just playing with him now.” Desdomena paused and passed Eneko back. “You can hold him, right? Now, that you have me holding you.” Itxaro accepted with relief, rubbing her nose against his. Desdomena flexed her freed hand and stroked her chin. “Hmmm… though if I must be honest, perhaps I was being vengeful when I broke that leg of his.”

“For what?” Itxaro had a few guesses but her attention was captured.

“He said something rude to me,” the aberration quipped.

Itxaro held back a shout. “That is all?”

Desdomena rested her hand over where a heart should be. “Look at me. Ordinary sticks and stones can do me little harm. Cruel words can hurt me more than a knife.”

Itxaro thought back and tried to not sound contrarian. “But I called you a monster and you did not seem to care.”

“Because I have little reason to care. A cut should not be measured by its depth but how close the person who inflicted it was. A scratch from a close friend is crueler than a stab to the heart by an enemy. If you wish to bring pain to someone who cares about you, all you have to do is be forthright. Lies can be untangled but the truth can not be erased.”

“Such things does not make a wound bleed more,” Itxaro declared.

“I can not tell if speaking with you is fun or not,” Desdomena contemplated. “Your sense of morality is that of a child or a zealot but you lack the innocence and faith to protect yourself. I feel like I’m pulling on the legs of a butterfly that already lost its wings.”

Itxaro wanted to say the mixed feelings were mutual. However, it was very clear to her that she herself did not enjoy being in Desdomena’s sole company. There was a definitive tension there. She wanted to find more joy in it, the aberration being a one of a kind encounter. When Desdomena and Alvah were gone, she would be back to the same people she always knew.

“Tell me,” Desdomena began. “Your people have thirty-eight adults and including you and your new brother, five youngsters, but I’m counting eight that have yet to be born. Almost more than a quarter of the population is carrying a child yet there are so few children.”

Itxaro’s eyes widened. “Eight?” she exclaimed as she tried to catch sight of what the aberration mentioned. “There should be nine. Which eight are you talking about?”

The idea there might have been another miscarriage plagued her thoughts.

Desdomena pointed to eight separate homes. The only one that went unnoticed was the most recent one, still only a month to term.

Itxaro sighed with relief. “You missed one. There is one mother still on her first month. You wouldn’t notice because the swell of her belly has not shown… The same should be said of the second month, it should be barely noticeable to an observer. How did you notice?”

“I can sense the babies,” Desdomena stated matter of factly.

“You can sense a child in their womb?” Itxaro asked, curious.

“Their developing minds, yes,” Desdomena answered.

Was it connected to the heartbeat? No, the heart starts beating after three weeks. The youngest one she noticed was two months old, that meant she could sense the brain.

“What is that sense like?” Itxaro inquired further.

“There are predators that have a way of finding prey even without a bloodtrail to follow. I simply know,” Desdomena answered. “It is difficult to explain but you asked earlier if I could see through walls. While I can't do that I can see at a strange angle, my vision is not necessarily from where you think my eyes are but how I direct my attention. Like how you saw me in multiple places.”

“Can all aberrations do that?”

“They have to know they can first,” Desdomena explained. “We may be bundles of ideas rather than flesh and blood but we tend to not not be all that… clever. Making a second me takes a lot of energy and seeing and hearing from two places at once is difficult to describe. Eh, listen to me, failing to describe so much, makes me sound like the one that has been in a village all my life.”

“I would not expect you to be able to tell me what it is like to see if I was blind,” Itxaro tried to relieve the aberration of pressure. “Your senses are something no human might have.”

Desdomena smiled bemusedly. “Are you sure you are fourteen?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“In the olden days, a noble your age would think they know everything but know nothing and a laborer would have only known the necessities of their profession. When you have a thousand years and nothing out trying to kill you, you have plenty of time to learn. I guess you had to learn quickly.”

“Is that a complement?” Itxaro dared to jest.

“I can say nice things,” Desdomena took the prodding in stride. “Allus are masters of flattery.”

“I know,” Itxaro replied. She remembered nice things the aberration said about her human companion. “Is there anything you experience that you think you could describe?”

“A sense at least I have that is worth describing is that I can see your emotions as color. A dark shade represents the more negative aspects while a lighter shade is a more positive concept.”

“You mentioned something like that,” Itxaro recalled Desdomena first holding Eneko. “But you did not explain it. What color am I?”

“People change colors quickly and there is usually more than just one. At least for adults. Children tend to be simpler, too simple for my tastes.” Desdomena examined Eneko.

“Who gave Eneko his name?” Desdomena asked.

Itxaro swallowed. “I did…” she answered honestly.

“Let me guess, he did not have a name until I asked if he had one.”

Itxaro lowered her head. “How did you know?”

“As thanks for being such a gracious host, let me give you some advice,” Desdomena began. “You were born after the age of great cities where just because people were neighbors did not mean they knew each other. You were born here where everyone knew everything about you since the moment you were born. If you could lie at all, you did it through omission. Maybe you went somewhere you were never supposed to go or maybe you grabbed a few extra berries for yourself, only you know. You would know how to keep quiet about details that would get you in trouble. But you have never met strangers before, you never had to lie that way so it is best someone as young and inexperienced as you remember not to lie to another until you have learned to lie to yourself.”

Itxaro opened her mouth but paused to watch Desdomena's nose wriggle. The aberration’s face started to twist with disgust just before Eneko started to cry.

Itxaro smelled to the air. "I need to-" she began.

"I know," Desdomena interrupted. "I can smell it. Down you two go."

The aberration’s hand moved from Itxaro’s shoulder to her collar and lifted her from her seat before slowly lowering them to the ground below.

*****

Itxaro returned home where she cleaned then fed Eneko for good measure. The aberration watched wordlessly, not uttering a word upon encountering the elder except to say she was still following Itxaro.

“You are going through so much trouble for someone who can do nothing for you,” Desdomena commented after Itxaro started making faces for Eneko in her own room. “I would think you actually cared about him.”

“I do,” Itxaro insisted with an edge of frustration.

“As what?” Desdomena spun herself so that she was then floating with her back to the ground. “Your family or charge? If the latter, he is just a burden you should be excited to part with.”

“Are you just saying things or are you really so cruel that you believe that is how a human should think?”

“I am one that made the one person that cared about me cry. My cruelty knows no bounds,” the aberration claimed.

*****

Eventually, Alvah emerged from the chamber in the afternoon. Rather than rush to his side or grow excited Desdomena merely tapped on Itxaro’s shoulder and pointed out the window at him.

“Go to him, but take your time though,” the aberration ordered.

“Why not go straight to him?”

“He is the one that thought to seperate us. I can not just instantly answer his call.”

“I do not understand,” Itxaro confessed.

“You would not understand.”

“Is it a thing for aberrations?”

“I would say it is an adult thing but it is more an adolescent thing. Something you learn once you start to become your own person. You do not show immediate compliance to anyone, not to a king, lover, or god. It makes them think their will is your will.”

They waited for the short time while Desdomena held them back. They then went outside to greet Alvah.

He supported himself with his walking stick in one hand while the other remained hidden behind his back.

“Let me see what you have hidden for me,” Desdomena stated as she slipped away from Itxaro and stood before him. She leaned forward, smiling dangerously like she might devour him.

He presented a glistening black ribbon. The material was of the yarn she saw earlier but now that it had shape, she could appreciate its qualities. It looked soft like the fringes of a feather and light filtered through it as if it was hardly there yet it was not transparent.

Would a ribbon be considered an accessory? The aberration had been resistant to a necklace but surely the aberration would make an exception for him.

“You made me wait for something you know I can not accept,” Desdomena rejected. “I do not need such a thing.”

“Sometimes your hair covers your face,” he noticed. He let go of his walking stick and offered that hand. “Come see why I made this.” His legs wobbled and he swayed to keep balance. Desdomena caught his open hand in both of hers and held him in place as she planted her feet in the ground. The aberration’s eyes widened a little as they gazed at each other. “I made it so I could see more of you,” Alvah finished.

Desdomena opened her mouth slightly, her expression undoubtedly human. Slowly, she smiled a sweet smile as tears formed in her eyes. She led his hand to her hair and together they made it into a simple braid and tied it together with the ribbon.

“You will have to carry this with you whenever we are fully one,” Desdomena pointed out.

Alvah held out his arm. “You can tie it to my wrist.”

“A wonderful idea,” Desdomena agreed

The two held hands and locked eyes together. They did not talk, only smiled to each other. They wordlessly communicated before both turned to Itxaro.

“We will be likely leaving in a few days. Do you mind leading us to your gravesites?” Alvah asked. “I would like to pay respects.”

“Why would you pay respects to a stranger’s mound?”

“Where I am from, the dead require water. One way to show thanks to someone is to water their family’s grave.”

“Why not do it the day you leave?” Itxaro tried to postpone such an occurrence or if she was fortunate avoid it altogether.

“For some, it is bad luck to pass a gravesite on one’s way out.”

“I can take you there but I would rather you not water them,” Itxaro negotiated. “That might disturb them.”

Desdomena tilted her head. “Worried some of your ancestors may be angry with you?”

“No, but one did not have a good death,” Itxaro replied.

“What is not a good death by your people’s standards?” Alvah asked.

“Something slow,” Itxaro answered.

Death was a part of life. When it came, it had to be accepted. Euthanasia was the solution to an curable problem. It was better than the slow suffering of clinging to a life that reached the next stage.

*****

She escorted them to the gravesite. There were five mounds of raised dirt now coated in the same grass that surrounded them. In front of them was an effigy shrouded in a black cloth representing every ancestral soul both near and far.

“If you wish to address them.” Itxaro gestured to the effigy. “And hold your breath after you say your words.”

“Or else I might breath in any soul that might be drawn to it?” Alvah postulated.

“How did you know?”

“I have seen similar customs. I think I recognize who your people are now.” He knelt. “Unfortunately, I have nothing to ask them. Even if I did, I am not sure I could hear their answer.”

The man stared at laid before for a while before addressing Itxaro. “How long have your people been settled here? Was I right to assume at least fifty years?”

“Since before I was born, yes I believe so.”

He pointed at each grave. “Yet only five mounds?”

“Is there something strange about that?” Itxaro asked.

“Yes, but not so much on its own,” Alvah postulated. “What were the causes of death?”

Itxaro listed them. The causes of death were such: one hunt gone wrong, two lost to sickness, one pregnancy complication, and one accident one dreaded might happen to a small child. Itxaro had been there for the latter. It was the hunter that likely did not rest well, his body found in the woods, mauled by beasts.

Alvah pressed his knuckles to his lips, covering his expression as his eyes narrowed on the mounds. “Not a single one lost to an aberration?”

“Now, that he mentioned it,” Desdomena chimed in. “You did need direct instruction when dealing with me. You seemed pretty prepared but you messed up. Any chance I was your first time?”

“Yes…”

“Has there never been an attack by aberrations?” Alvah asked in disbelief.

“There are quite a few of you and your people are not strangers to fear,” Desdomena observed.

“There were a few but none in my time,” Itxaro answered.

There had been less than a handful of attacks in all their years there.

“So, no encounters for at least fourteen years…” Alvah waved a hand at the scene. “Are there any ghosts?”

“Why do you ask? There are none currently present. Can’t you see that for yourself?” Itxaro asked.

“I can’t see ghosts, not yet. As one that was ageless for so long, necromancy was beyond my comprehension. Even when the gates of the Underworld were wide open, I was blind to them. I could see the destruction brought about by the other Great Ones but the work of Zidqa the Returned remained beyond my ability to perceive.”

Zidqa the Returned was a Great One that tormented the dead the way the others haunted the living. Not even the underworld was safe from their influence.

Itxaro lowered her head. “I have never seen a ghost,” she professed with dread. “I heard Zidqa ate all ghosts but we hope the newly dead might still be safe.”

“It can eat their vessels but a soul is too rigorous a thing for something like an aberration to digest,” Alvah assured her. “If there are no ghosts, it only means there is no one left to give them corpus. So, do not worry, they are not gone.”

“Corpus?”

“A word I happen to simply know and truly not understand well myself. It was the living that made the underworld using such substance. The dead can not rise against us without losing their own place.”

“You mentioned you were ageless,” Itxaro remembered the day before. “So, you are immortal?”

“I was immortal, it is just that my body has not had the time to catch up with my age now that I am just flesh and blood,” he explained. “When this all began, I was quite youthful. I was remembered as a child of another so I was always to be younger in appearance than my own mother who was herself always to be in her prime. Gods can be wizened and old but it would be strange for children to outage their parents unless it fit the legendarium.”

“You are quite lucky then,” Itxaro noted. “If there was a chance for you to grow old while your parents remained as they were,”

“I suppose I am. Immortality without youth would have been a terrible fate,” he acknowledged. “But that endless youth left me to squander my precious time. I intend to live as long as I can to make up for those wasted years.”

Itxaro tried to comprehend someone who had been so blessed yet still greedily wished to live longer. She imagined if she had been given an extra thousand years of life and did nothing with them, then she would indeed seek to find compensation the remaining years she had. She was not even sure how many years he spent.

“But those years were not all bad. If anything, they were too grand,” he recalled. “I think I met your goddess. She was a decent deity, she granted fair weather if you only called her name. She did not even demand sacrifices, instead you offered food to the many little things that helped your fields. When she was not in the sky, she was in her caves rather than in a temple or lording over the people from a mountain. I could at least respect her for that and the people with the imagination to make her that way.”

“You truly met my people’s goddess?”

“I met many gods of all kinds. Though most of the ones I knew were lunar deities that made the moon their place of dwelling.”

Itxaro looked to Desdomena. “What are aberrations in comparison to gods?”

“If gods are the attempt for humans to instill our own sense of order on the world, aberrations or at least the Great Ones are the chaos we are trying to suppress made manifest. Whether we wanted to admit it or not, we were afraid and that fear gave shapeless ideas form. Yet they come from us so there is a reasoning to their madness even if it is that of insanity.”

“What do you mean by order?”

“Each person has a different ideals for order. I do not believe my view of it would be compatible with yours.”

“The what is your opinion?

“You want just my opinion?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, understand this is not a lesson. Do not accept my words as truth.” He sat down. “It is undeniable that humans seek structure but perhaps within the limits of our understanding. We raise towns and cities where there were only wild lands but we also crave fire when we ourselves lack warmth. You know this forest, you know this place would continue even if your people disappeared. The world does not need humans, we are not abiding by the same pattern as the plants and creatures.

You have not seen it for yourself but if you acquired two architects they would create different designs if both were asked to build a house while two ants from the same species would design the same mound.

“I believe we crave order because we lack it. To the world, we are chaos.”

Itxaro gritted her teeth a little. It should not have surprised her that Alvah said something similar to Desdomena but it still stand for him to say human were chaos. “Why do we need order then?

“Remember this is not a lesson, just me rambling. I had a conversation similar to this with Desdomena. I believe the existence of an idea is evidence of the opposing concept. If we are indeed chaotic creatures yet strive for an ideal means some part of us is aware of that ideal. A fish that that has never left the sea knows not dryness yet we have this idea called "perfection." I believe that perfection would be the true divinity our gods were modeled to imitate.”

“What is true divinity?”

“I would believe that if there is one thing that is utterly real, that would be the true divine. Compared to how our deities required humanity. A true god would not need humans.”

“Which would mean a true god could just abandon you,” Desdomena added.

Alvah looked to Desdomena. “That is what would make a true god that can tolerate us all the more wonderful.”

“If there is a true god, why would we make these imitations as you say?” Itxaro inquired.

“What I am about to tell you is entirely hearsay. I did not bear witness to the age before the gods but there were reasons gods were desired. They would not have been made at all if they were unwanted. A single mage being trusted with the weather was too much for one human, such a person could abstain and reign as tyrant. In a world where everyone had their own arts, there was no such thing as ordinary. No ordinary crime and no ordinary justice. Societies needed to react to each individual and because of that, social structure was ready to collapse. It did not help that the sciences advanced also to allow people to discard their human form so even the definition of humanity was strained.”

Itxaro could understand the idea of every crime being out of the ordinary. A mage could call a purse to one’s hand or walk through walls. Her grandmother also mentioned how there were alchemists that discarded their human forms even in the age of gods. Both of those issues remained so the solution was imperfect.

“Mind explaining what you meant by ordinary justice?”

“I don’t think that was a term they actually used. Still, at least to me justice is something that responds equally to an evil. But if the enforcers and perpetrators are both radically different each time then there might comes a time when justice might be too harsh or not be delivered at all.”

“Justice was ignored even in the age of the gods,” Itxaro opposed. “A king could violate a maiden and escape judgement.”

Alvah seemed surprised and slightly taken aback by her statement or perhaps more her choice of words.

“Indeed. Such awful things happened and more. Hence why I would be willing to settle for it being ordinary. It is what we have come to accept as justice, not true justice.”

“So, most of the problems with humanity remained unfixed by the creation of gods...” Itxaro accepted.

“I make no excuses for those that created the gods because I myself profess humanity creating deities to be among our greatest mistakes. While I believe in balance, such a society leaned towards order to the point of control. Control of the world and the people within it to the point we lost our freedom to our own creations.”

The world before the gods and after them was too much chaos. If Itxaro could choose, she would see the gods returned but she appreciated Alvah’s desire for balance. However, balance was easy to upset, better to lean the scales in the less dangerous direction.

“I would think you would say the Great Ones destroying the gods was a good thing,” Itxaro suspected.

“I do not resent the Great Ones’ existence. If I dislike them, it is only because they are rather hindersome for any hope of normal life returning to humanity. Natural disasters kill people just as easily. If I despise them for any reason, it is that they robbed humanity of the opportunity to end the era of gods with their own hands. Instead of us destroying our idols, an outside force took them away from us.”

“A natural disaster does not hunt us.”

“A natural disaster does not notice us.”

“How does that matter?” Itxaro asked.

“It is better to be malicious than indifferent,” Desdomena reasoned. “You might be indifferent towards ants and step on a few everyday, never acknowledging that they ever lived compared to aberrations that hunt you because you are human. They prove that you exist.”

“An ant can not bargain with us but we can at least sometimes communicate with our pursuers,” Alvah followed.

Itxaro could not deny the last part. “I would rather weather a storm than be hunted.”

“A storm usually is less deadly. It has less teeth than most terrors. But humans once were subject to floods and other things and adapted around them until they tamed the elements.”

“I do not like that the world is currently both one of untamed elements and manmade horrors. If I could choose one to rule, I would return to the former. I would imagine life would be more pleasant with at least one under reins. Besides, the weather could never be controlled forever and the Great Ones might one day depart.”

“What makes you say that?”

“All things are temporary. In the battle of chaos and order, chaos will always win as it is the very embodiment of the impermanence of it all,” Alvah explained.

“But if there ever becomes a time there is nothing but chaos, it will become the new order,” Desdomena added.

Ixaro slowly smiled as the meaning reached her. “Meaning it would need to change as well.”

“Exactly,” Desdomena applauded.

“We survived the elements and now we will survive the aberrations,” Alvah declared. “The only thing humanity can’t recover from is nothingness.”

Itxaro said nothing as she contemplated.

“Sorry if I am boring you,” Alvah said, mistaking her silence for boredom. “You’re the first human I have had to talk to in years but you have had plenty of company and centuries left to learn this for yourself.”