《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Evil Book of Love》Chapter Eight: Operation: Fish-Stache
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The Sergeant crossed his arms. His knights stood by him. Much to everyone’s curiosity, they remained stationary.
“Why aren’t you attacking?!” Stellaris shouted brashly.
“After you,” Sergeant Stephen said raising his hand. “I am a gentleman knight after all. Even if you look like a man.”
Stellaris jaw hung open as some of the girls including Nebula and Ashlan went “ooooooo.”
Stellaris’ eyes combusted into flames of anger, and she hollered loudly,
“Someone’s looking to become a fire in a bucket, tin can boy!”
Stellaris lunged forward, drawing two chocolate brown rocks from the ground. The rocks erupted into flames like miniature comets. Stellaris cried out, “Now girls, time to witness some truly Interstella magic!”
The comets zoomed towards Stephen at astonishing speed. Much to their surprise, Stephen never ducked or jumped out of the way, he stood there as the rocks collided with his chest. As soon as the molten rocks met his breast plate, they shattered, and the red armor pulsed with magic. Before Stellaris could move away, a wall of flames erupted from his armor. In a split second, the hapless teacher was blasted backwards. Her body sailed into the prism machine; she slumped to the ground groaning. One of the girls ran to her, but she quickly snapped, “No, focus on freeing the Groundborn. I was careless.”
“What did you do?” Mena demanded.
“Well, little witch girl,” the knight scoffed. “In case I went up against spellcasters of your ilk, I had armor crafted from the finest anti magic blacksmiths in the land— fire resistant armor from the scales of a Flambe Fire Dragon.”
Ashlan crossed her armors and raised a hand. “I believe you mean a Flamebe Fire Dragon.”
“Must you really correct the villain?” Mena asked, rolling her eyes.
“That’s what I was going to ask,” Stephen shot back. “But I’m no villain. I’m a noble knight protecting the world from darkness.”
Stephen leveled his sword at the girls. “Are you little magic girls going to come quietly? Budaludicus promises those who surrender will have a less painful execution.”
“Never!” Mena shouted, trying to be bold. “Magic, magic, grant my wish. Turn his ugly mustache into a fish!”
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Stephen’s mustache began to wiggle and twitch under his nose. It sprouted eyes and fins, flopping chaotically gasping for air. Stephen ran around screaming from his mustache fish, causing Ashlan to frown and raise an eyebrow. “You’ve got more imagicnation than most Groundborns and this is what you do?”
“Oh yeah?” Mena shouted, puffing out her stick-like frame at Ashlan. “I’d like to see you do better.”
“I could do better than you with a rudimentary magic spell,” Ashlan boasted, but soon, the other knights charged, leveling their swords at Mena and Ashlan. Before they could scramble away, Nebula leapt between the knights and the girls.
Catching sight of Nebula’s hulking height, many stumbled backwards at the enormous woman. With a wide, white grin, Nebula began to inhale. Her face turned purple like an eggplant as air filled her rectangular chest. Before any of the knights could regain their wits, Nebula let out a huge gust of wind, creating a vortex. It sucked all the men up before throwing them off the mountain side, screaming.
Mena and Ashlan were stupefied, as they clung to Nebula’s tree-like knees. “All that cardio really increased my lung capacity,” Nebula gloated. “Only I get to mess with Dwarf Star.”
A shining silver blade lingered over Stellaris’s throat as Stephen boldly stood over her. His mustache fish had stopped flopping and hung limp. “This is it,” he said, his face bright red. “Step off the switches, you bloody witches, or I end her life this very instant!”
Stellaris looked nervously at Mena and Ashlan. Some of the girls on the switches looked like they wanted to hop off to protect their teacher, but Ashlan with a look of cat-like confidence spoke boldly, “You talk a big game, Sergeant, when we outnumber you eight to one.”
Stephen trembled for a second before regaining his nerve. “You’re merely a child. You don’t frighten me.”
“Oh,” Ashlan said, her emerald eyes gleaming. “But this child is the daughter of the Mind Jungle King.”
“And what significance is that?” Stephen snapped.
“We Dream-Lions are utterly ferocious when we need to be. But how about I show you the unrestrained powers of a Solborn with burning mane of fire!”
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Ashlan’s bushy hair erupted into a blaze and her eyes glowed an emerald sheen. A ring of fire surrounded Sergeant Stephen. He laughed defiantly. “Haven’t we gone over this? My armor is flame resistant!”
“Oh…” Ashlan winked. “Is it?”
As the flames closed in on Stephen, his armor began to pulse and shine as it had absorbed Stellaris’ comets. However, it did not absorb the flames and fire them back. Instead, the fire surrounded him from all sides. He had nowhere to go. Suddenly, Stephen screamed, “Too hot!” and he unfastened his armor revealing nothing but his skinny frame, tasseled nipples, his heart shaped tattoo for Queen Victoria and his polka-dotted underwear.
“Not again!” he screamed as he ran back down the mountain.
“Ashlan,” Stellaris said. “Well done. How did you know his armor wouldn’t refract a circle of flames?!”
Ashlan placed her hands on her hips. “Everyone knows the one weakness of the fire resistant Flamebe Dragon is if their scales overheat.”
Everyone began to clap including Nebula and the trapped Groundborn. “I thought you were rude,” the girl cried, “but really, you’re a superhero!”
Mena kicked a small brown stone and grumbled to herself. “Peh…show off!”
“What was that?” Ashlan said, holding her hand over ear. “I couldn’t hear you over my complete and utter adoration.”
“I like you, kid,” Nebula said, putting her muscular arm around Ashlan. “Nice to know we got a real alpha in this pack.”
“I am a lion, after all,” Ashlan said, pointing herself with her eyes closed. “It comes naturally to me.”
Nebula and Ashlan bowed as they took hoots and hollers from the other girls. Mena and Stellaris merely frowned. Mena took solace in knowing she felt the same sense of shame as her teacher.
***
Back in Stellaris classroom, Mena sat with a grimace. She despised getting shown up by Ahslan. She desperately hoped she’d still be awarded points for contribution to the battle, however. The magical blackboard listed her name, along with Ashlan and the five other girls. Stellaris deliberated with Nebula over the events of the battle.
“Hey Mena,” May said, as she floated herself into the room. She drew Mena’s attention to her. “You were great out there, or so I heard.”
“Really? Thanks May,” Mena responded, her eyes brightening.
“You’re so imaginative,” May responded. “I would have never thought to turn his mustache into a fish.”
“Oh…I hope Operation Fish-Stache is enough to win some points,” Mena said, clasping her hands tightly and looking intently towards the blackboard.
“More importantly,” May followed up, “You rescued that poor Groundborn girl.”
“You’re right,” Mena gave an affirmative nod, but she was still tense from the deliberation.
At least, Stellaris made her announcement. “We would like to single out Miss Ashlan O’Ryan as the MVP today. For her bravery and teamwork with Professor Nebula, she allowed us to rescue this Groundborn without anyone getting her truly hurt…well, except me.”
“Even when I slipped up,” Stellaris continued, “Ashlan picked up the slack. Two points for her.”
With a wave of her hand, the number two appeared beneath Ashlan’s name.
Ashlan’s face practically glowed as everyone gave a tentative applause.
“As for everyone standing on the switch,” Stellaris continued. “A single point for their teamwork in rescuing this poor, poor girl.”
Stellaris looked around. She shamefully looked around the room, avoiding Mena’s gaze. “And that concludes the deliberation. I want you to know, for what you’re doing for the underprivileged magic kind, you’re all winners in my book. You’d all deserve that trip to Wormwood if I was in charge.”
Mena scowled so hard. She was afraid she’d get a wrinkle, but she couldn’t help it. She had totally messed up on her chances to go to Wormwood. As everyone got up to leave, she realized something that made her day even worse: Her Fabias book she had foolishly brought to class was nowhere to be found.
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