When a white ceiling greeted me as I woke up, it makes a guy like me feel nauseated. All I could remember was, getting some sleep after a massive layoff from the company. Am I dead? It makes sense; I did drink a lot with the co-workers who were also laid-off. Good thing I’m alone, nobody will miss me, and I got nothing to worry about, I can die in peace.

A long time has passed since I stared at the annoying white ceiling. ‘This is the afterlife? What a boring life.’ I thought. Then, a sudden blackness assaulted me before I could feel a gentle hand touching the side of my cheek. I tried to open my eyes, but all I could see is blurred. I did hear a few things, but like with my sight, I cannot hear very well. I could still feel, though, and man, what a weird sensation.

Time passes by, and I figure it out that I’m reborn, as a baby nonetheless. It’s embarrassing; as a perfectly independent adult, I have to ask my mother every time I feel hungry or want to poop. The first few months were rough. Because I cannot see or hear very well, every time my parents say something, all I heard was just funny gibberish. The same applied when I tried to see what my parents’ look’s like; their faces look like funny face’s to me.

After about, let’s say, four to five months, I can finally see and hear clearly. I lived in the house with my two parents and two siblings. My father looks like a typical isekai, middle-aged man protagonist. With raven-coloured hair, amber eyes, and handsome facial features, I wonder why there’s no harem troupe following him.

My mother is what you call a western beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes, and smooth fair skin, coupled with her facial features, I’m sure men would do anything to please my mother. Then comes my two siblings. They are twins. They share mother’s blond hair and eyes, with my older brother’s face looks more like our mother, gentle and pretty, while my sister’s face looks more like our father’s.

I spend my baby phase being petted around either by my siblings, parents, or my parents’ friends. I especially hated the one named Alicia. She always cuddled me too hard, either making me dizzy or straight up vomiting. I dreaded meeting that woman.

Years passed by, and I’m now a proud, 3-year old baby. Finally, I can walk by myself. Those mangas and novels protagonist who can train smoothly before the age of 3, well, I call bullshit. I tried to do that when I’m 1-year old, and what happens? My legs turned into mush, and people just looked at me funny, as the only thing I can say was just ‘Ah, Ah, Ah.’

When I turned 4, however, I found out that my parents can use magic. My eyes sparkle immediately as I asked my parents on the spot to teach me magic. They laughed at my cuteness and told me I could learn when I’m 5-year old. I waited patiently for my fifth birthday, well I lied, no way I could wait one year. I tried meditation, praying, and everything I could think of so that I could sense Mana.

Alas, nothing worked, so I began executing plan B. I would train my body as hard as I’m able to for now. I started running around the complex of my house to the village until I’m exhausted. By the way, our house is a fair distance from the village, as my parents owned private land up the hill. Then, after I finished my run, I trained again by doing push up and sit up. My father smiled and approved of my training while my mother worries about me.

What about my siblings, you asked? Well, they’re at school now. The woman I dreaded most, Alicia, brings my sibling to a famous school in the capital. She’s apparently someone with some weight over there. Good for me, I suppose, as she’s busy with my siblings, not me. My training paid off as by the time I’m near 5, I’m stronger than normal kids around my age. Not like I have friends in the first place. My parents worry, of course, but I still could live without kids bothering me.

On my fifth birthday, my parents said they had a surprise for me. They make me close my eyes; then they led me somewhere outside the house. Excited, I just followed willingly. That would be the biggest mistake in my life. I opened my eyes, and my excited smile turned into dread. Alicia appears before me, and a little kid stood behind her shyly hiding.

“Hello, my little darling, Aunty Alicia is back.” She said, opening her arms wide open for a hug.

I tried to run away, and some force stops me, forcing me to get close to her.

“Come here,” Alicia said while embracing me tightly, rubbing her cheek against mine. I tried my best to struggle free and even use my ‘puppy eyes attack’ at my parents, but they just giggled at my antics. I resigned to my fate, crying inside. Then I hear a small giggle coming from the shy little girl that hid behind Alicia. ‘Cute,’ I thought. I smiled back at her, but she hid her face behind Alicia’s legs.

Night comes, Alicia and the little girl finally left. I found out that the little girl is someone Alicia picked up after discovering the little girl has enormous magic talent. Gabriella, the little girl, was from a small fishing family down the south coast. Alicia found her when she goes on vacation there. Huh, she’s a female protagonist material then.

Later, at dinner

“Mom, didn’t you tell me that you’ll teach me magic when I’m five?” I plead at my mother with puppy dog eyes

“Yes, but when we think about it more, your Aunt Alicia is more suitable for teaching you magic than us, dear.” My mother said with glittering eyes.

“Don’t fret, my son. For I, your father will teach you swordsmanship starting tomorrow.” My father puffed out his chest. “You’ll be learning swordsmanship from me in the morning and magic from Alicia at night while your mother will teach you common knowledge in-between.”

I hang my head low, thinking, ‘If I learn swordsmanship early in the morning, then school with mom after that a magic lesson….’

“I strongly object” I raised my hand in question. Then I look at my parents; I almost peed my pants when I see their expression.

“It’s not negotiable, son,” They said with a despicable smile at their own son. I shudder in the corner before my dad forcibly picks me up to bed.

Oh no, what have I done…