Over the past few months Elaine and Aaron have been helping me get accustomed to my new wings and leg. It took me quite a while to walk on it correctly and now I’m beginning to run. It’s strange having an unknown appendage attached to your body. Aaron also began to teach me the basics of flying.

I had an easy time learning it because it seemed that my wings were different from the traditional ones that were found on angels. My wings were quite large, reaching their peak at a about a foot higher than my head and touched the ground. The wings came out from beside my shoulder blades and I could feel my muscles in the area hurting from the unknown weight. The feathers were black, but had bits of what seemed to be gold shining through whenever I moved. The feathers were long and were very flexible, but surprisingly they were as sharp as razor blades. They were heavy but I gradually got used to the weight. I can’t fly very high because my magic abilities are not strong enough.

I wasn't getting very far in my magic studies, unfortunately. Nobody was quite sure how my attribute worked so they didn’t know how they could help me become more adept in controlling it. They taught me a few possible ways that I could begin to purify my element, but they weren’t really sure how it would work so they told me to go into my mind and try to understand what was in there. They said to become familiar with it to the point where you could identify any part of it at any time.

The first time I went into my mind, I closed my eyes and imagined myself some place far away from everything I ever knew and when I opened my eyes a sea of bones had surrounded me in every direction. A massive hill a bit farther away had an ominous feel hovering around it, but something was calling me to it. I slowly climbed up this huge pile, a saw a pair of beautiful, golden wings bound by thick, heavy chains. The wings were about as big as the ones attached to my back, but were completely golden and had a holy feel to them but they also had something about them that no matter you wanted to get close to them, you could not move a muscle. The only thing I could do was back away which was hard to do for my feet sunk deeper and deeper into the seemingly endless sea of bones.

Suddenly a vision appeared in my eyes. No longer was I surrounded by the sea of bones, but rather a battlefield filled with thousands of corpses and above them all was a golden figure with golden wings protruding from its back, the same ones I saw in my mind. This figure was holding a beautiful spear covered in blood from the countless men lying on the ground. The figure, previously back facing towards me, turned towards me but no face could be seen. I then slipped out of consciousness but not before hearing the words, “The truth lies within.”

When I awoke again I was told I had been asleep for two days and no matter how much they tried, Elaine and Aaron couldn’t wake me up. Upon closer observation I realized that a strange, black mark had appeared on my back. It was a rounded mark and against my pale skin it stood out as a lighthouse drawing the attention of those around it.

I went inside of my mind several more times, but every time I could not move from where I stood and could only see the golden wings from afar. I also gained some small marks on my back connecting to the first one. When this happened I became convinced that all the little marks would add up to be a large one.

During the time when I was waiting for the examination, I turned 12 years old. I forgot it was my birthday, but, unsurprisingly, Elaine saw my file and knew it was my birthday. She just got me a small cake and said it was for the celebration of living another year. The way I saw it though, was that it is another year closer to my death, which is one of the reasons I never cared for birthdays.

Elaine also said that the elders contacted Drudania Academy concerning the purity of my magic and they said it was fine to attend, but I needed to pass the exam with even higher requirements than usual. The exam was a series of tests, mental and physical ones, that determined whether you would succeed at the Academy or another place. There was also a written test concerning principles of magic and its history. Of course you not only have to pass the exam, but you also have to convince one of the teachers there that you would do well in the academy. A teacher at most, could give the “seal of approval” to 7 new students, but many teachers also decide not to give any seals out, so the amount of new students was incredibly low.

In only a few days I would take the examination and I could tell that Elaine and even Aaron were getting nervous. I wasn’t that concerned because, well, I don’t really get concerned about much. I don’t see the need to get worked up about anything, after all, you’re going to do it or you’re not. I do have an issue, I discovered, with anxiety. It seems that whenever I know I am about to feel pain I work myself up and make it much worse than it actually is, it only happens when dealing with pain though. Whenever I am about to do something most people would perceive as stressful, I seem to act just fine and am not anxious about it at all. So, naturally I was not nervous about the examination coming up.

Several days later……..

It was finally the exam day and it felt like Elaine took care of being nervous for herself and me. She continually asked me questions on my well-being and quizzed me on things they might ask on the written exam. She was being much more annoying than usual.

Even Aaron, who rarely expressed emotions, seemed to be nervous.His way of being nervous was not nearly as annoying as Elaine’s. He just tapped his fingers as if playing a piano, you could actually see how nervous he was by watching the pace of his fingers. By moving them slowly it indicated that he was slightly nervous or just bored, but by tapping them quickly it indicated that he was in a highly nervous state because he was trying to preoccupy with different actions that would distract him from the real problem.

“Okay it’s time to go.” Elaine said after taking a deep breath and gave me what I would guess to be a comforting smile.

Aaron and I flapped our wings and began to hover as we waited for Elaine to prepare for flight. During my time with them I found out that Elaine was of the air element and Aaron was of the water element. It seemed that Elaine had more versatile attacks and Aaron’s attacks were more powerful, so with all of their qualities in general, it seemed to me that the council did a very good job in pairing the two of them up together.

As soon as Elaine was ready, we took off flying towards the examination hall, about 15 minutes away by air.

It was truly a miraculous experience, flying that is. In the air you could look down and see the towns and villages passing by as you glide through the sky. It was also remarkable to see the size of land that we lived on. From above you could see the boundless expanse that seemed to go on forever in every direction. You could feel the air rushing against your skin as you flew above the countless cities and villages, all containing people who had their own dreams. Shame they would never happen.

And as I was flying I realized that I was just one small creature on one small continent on one small world. It made me feel so weak, powerless. As though with a single flick of their finger a person could end my life. It made me realize that all of us are weak. We depend on others for everything. We feel the need to socialize and help each other, but at the same time we make each other weak. Even those we call strong depend on others. They would be nothing without everybody and everything. It made me crazy that everything I owned was because of another person. I made me realize how weak I am.

It also made me realize exactly how much we did not know or rather how little we think we know. To me life is just a race to see who ends up the least ignorant of us all. And in that moment as I saw the boundless expanse I knew I wanted to become the person who realized how all of this happened, why all of his happened. I wanted to win the race, I do not wish to forever be in the dark concerning the knowledge of the universe. Even if just for a second, I want to see the light. The speck of truth behind all the lies we think we understand. I wanted to know the truth, all of it.

“Lucifer, if we don’t get going we won’t be there on time.” Elaine said, bringing me back to the world residing in the dark of knowledge.

“Okay, let’s get going then.” I replied and once again began to fly towards the place, that for better or for worse, would change my life.