《Mutant Farmer in the Apocalypse》That catfish has WHAT?!
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Yang Zhang locked his eyes on the target, a squirrel that constantly discharged electricity. It was busy trying to fit another chestnut into its mouth to no avail.
Yang Zhang knew he couldn't just jump in to catch this mutated animal for two reasons:
First, this animal could zap him.
Second, he wanted to befriend this animal, sort of making the squirrel his partner in crime. So, of course, he couldn't do it through coercion.
Yang Zhang looked around to find a chestnut. Once he found one, he picked it up and dangled it right in front of the squirrel, "Hey, buddy. Hey, psst!"
The squirrel finally turned its head and looked at Yang Zhang curiously. It approached him to investigate, and once it was close enough, Yang Zhang put the chestnut on the ground and tried to pet the squirrel.
But once his hand touched the squirrel's head—
BZZZZTTT!!
"Ayayayaya!"
BOOM!
The squirrel zapped Yang Zhang with high voltage electricity this time, and the small explosion threw him away.
Yang Zhang grimaced in pain. His body was still recovering from the zap. It turned out to be a lot stronger than he expected, and that squirrel didn't even look threatened. It was still trying to fit the chestnut that had been roasted by the shock into its mouth.
"Damn, little guy, you pack a punch—or a zap, I guess."
The squirrel decided to drop all the roasted chestnuts inside its mouth and started eating them one by one, not minding Yang Zhang's presence at all.
It constantly discharged electricity, zapping everything around it, including the insects.
Yang Zhang sat on the ground, trying to recuperate after the shock. His body was still trembling after the zap, but he kept his eyes on the squirrel in front of him.
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"Squeak, squeak…" the squirrel approached Yang Zhang, asking for more chestnuts.
"Want more?" Yang Zhang looked around and found one. He put it in front of the squirrel.
The squirrel did the same thing. It put the chestnut inside its mouth and zapped it to make a roasted chestnut. It asked for more and more until Yang Zhang lost count of how many chestnuts he had picked up for this greedy squirrel.
Yang Zhang sighed when he watched the squirrel. His stomach also grumbled. He hadn't eaten anything for the whole day and was also thirsty as heck.
The squirrel seemed to notice the grumbling from Yang Zhang's stomach. It picked one of the chestnuts and zapped it inside its mouth. Then the squirrel put it on Yang Zhang's lap.
"Wha, this is for me?"
The squirrel continued doing the same thing until there were four roasted chestnuts for Yang Zhang.
Yang Zhang was touched by such a kind gesture from an animal, "Ah, thank you so much, little guy. As expected, animals are better than humans."
Yang Zhang ate the roasted chestnuts with the squirrel. He started to get used to the small electricity that zapped him. As long as he didn't touch the squirrel directly, then he would be fine.
"Dang, I'm still hungry… and thirsty."
Of course, chestnuts wouldn't fill him up, but at least he had something to reduce the hunger for now.
Yang Zhang walked to the river nearby to drink the water, but when he was near the river, he saw bubbles foaming in the clear water.
He squinted and saw a fish underneath the bubbles. He got even more confused, "Huh? That kind of bubbles… that's not what a fish would make..."
But Yang Zhang was too thirsty to think, so he ignored the warning sign and walked in.
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The moment he touched the water, his gaze blurred for a second when something under the water suddenly emerged and attacked him.
"AAAHH!" Yang Zhang backed off immediately. He thought it was a crocodile until he saw a giant catfish— with legs!
"CATFISH WITH LEGS?! FREAKING CATFISH WITH LEGS!!"
The catfish rushed towards Yang Zhang and dashed over with its legs. It was so weird that Yang Zhang couldn't help but be grossed out.
"AHHH! Helppp!" he screamed pitifully. Really, the life of a human in this post-apocalyptic world wasn't easy.
The catfish finally stopped chasing after a while and returned to the river, leaving Yang Zhang slumped on the ground, dead tired after the adrenaline rush.
He couldn't even drink water without getting attacked by a freakish catfish with legs. This was unfair!
"How am I supposed to live in this world as a normal human!"
The squirrel approached Yang Zhang out of curiosity. Seeing that Yang Zhang looked sad, the squirrel followed Yang Zhang's line of sight to the river, "Hey, little guy, can you help me? I'm really thirsty."
"Squeak, squeak!" The electric squirrel suddenly ran towards the river, which kicked Yang Zhang's adrenaline rush once more.
"Wait! Don't go near the river!" Yang Zhang was worried the catfish with legs would eat the squirrel. So he ran to catch the nimble squirrel, but the moment he was about to grab the little guy, it jumped to the river.
"NOOOO!" Yang Zhang screamed dramatically, thinking that squirrel was a lunch for that mutated catfish.
…
…
BBZZZTTT!
Yang Zhang was astonished when the squirrel came out of the water unharmed. Behind it, the fishes started floating on top and washed to the riverside, including that weird-looking catfish.
But other than that, there were plenty of somewhat normal-looking fishes that died from the zap. The electric squirrel approached Yang Zhang and pointed at the fishes, telling him to go and grab them.
"Oh wow, thanks for lunch, my little friend."
Thus, Yang Zhang grabbed a few fishes that looked normal and put them on a leaf, "Uh, little guy, can you help me again?"
"Squeak!" The squirrel bit the fish and zapped it to cook, resulting in a slightly burnt but still edible fish.
Yang Zhang sat on the ground and checked the fish, "W—Well, this is the most normal one. It only has four eyes instead of two. That's still normal, right?"
He hesitated for a moment, but his rumbling stomach told him to eat it, "Ah, fuck it. If I die after eating this mutated fish, at least I will die with a full belly."
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hot stuff ☕︎ | richie tozier
'shut it, tozier. i'm just trying to enjoy my summer without you flirting with me''i'm not flirting with you, i'm just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive'
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