Sex is great! Guilt is not.

*****

Oh God i’m filth. A pest to be exterminated. Oh fuck why did I do that fuck. I’m so sorry.

I distance myself from the group a far enough away so that I am not heard and I do so secretly as I don’t want to be seen right now. Fuck I punch myself in the stomach and vomit up every I have eaten for the last few day then I begin to wipe my face in it. This is what I am. I am disturbing filth. How could I! How!

Fuck!

It wasn’t my fault it way these blood failures. They lead me. I’m so sorry please Red! Forgive me! I hate it whats this feeling I hate to. It's their fault I place my thumbs to my eyes and press in was. I rip the filthy traitors from my face their is no place for them who have lead me astray I hear them calling thoughts of Saharsa body enter my mind as I claw at my scalp and begin ripping it from my face. It hurts!

“ Please! Forgive me! Red I know not what I do!. Please red I beg of you it was a one time thing I will never cheat on you again oh please red I beg you. I’m sorry I am filth, worthless. I want to be with worth but I am not IT NOT MY FAULT IT WAY MY EYES! But! But their gone now so please forgive me.”

I grasp my penis and squeeze as hard as I can until it is crushed. I wine like a baby at the pain.

I hate it. I hate it. IT WASN’T MY FAULT! I’m sorry I won’t. I promise I won’t cheat on you again. Just please forgive me.

“Waaa waaa I cannot go on please forgive me just this once! I beg of you PLEASE IT WASN’T MY FAULT! I am innocent… yeah that's right! I am innocent! Waaa the fuck am I saying I FUCKING HATE MYSELF. Why can I face myself like a man”

I place my thumb on my teeth and one by push then up into my skull. I make sure do it slowly so she will hear and forgive me. I

“ won’t do it again I promise I won’t! Please Red! “

I reach for my own heart. I punch through my chest!

“ I can’t go on I will hurt her! I WILL NEVER HURT HER! You will hurt me. No red I won’t I promise please forgive me. “

“JUST FUCKING ANSWER ME!”

“ Varon always forgiven! Adria promise she not mad!”

It appears Adria smelled the blood. I can’t see her but I can sense her. She comes forward and I grab her and pull her towards me. I cry into her chest.

“ Forgive me… please” tears of blood run down my face it appears I didn’t remove the tear ducts properly.

“ Its ok… Adria forever forgive. She forgive you. I forgive you.”

“ Please. Just please.”

“ Varon you are forgiven.”

“ Thank you.”

I cry into her chest for the next 3 hours.

*****

“Varon! I your first disciple have a question. Because I am the eldest disciple does that mean Sharsha has to do what I say?”

I give my body a little shake as its feels brand new. Well it is bran new. All of it not a single part broken… and nothing to lead me astray anymore.

What is this little goblin trying to say. I look over at Sharsha who looks at Adria then me. It’s clear she doesn’t like the idea but is still willing. My sadistic heart beats but in a different direction “ No she only needs to listen to me. And even then she is her own self.” Adria frowns. She comes close to me and gently rubs herself into my side as she looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes. I look at her and give my gentleman like grin and say “ But you need to listen to her” she slowly lets go of me and takes a step back.

Why do you look so surprised. Did you really think it would go as you expected. My foolish disciple you know not the way of your master. She takes another step forward. Now she is hugging me. She began to sniffle and rub her nose on me.

Stop it… No… Ok… Fine, I sumit.

“You can boss Ren aro-“ but before I can finish a voice sharply interjects “ What! Hell no she can’t. I don’t even know why I listen to you muchless, it.”

How rude Adria isn’t an it. She a beast but a female beast.

But Adria has her answer. After all I was the one who taught her to only care about my opinion. Also how rude we both know that Adria is a she not an it. Adria lets go of me and takes many long strides towards Ren.

”Bottom bitch Ren was it” ha ha ha Adria has really taken this new state of affairs well. “What did you say. midget” but it would seem Ren hasn’t.

I’m sorry Ren but Adria is both stronger and cuter than you when you bandage your face so it’s easier to take her side. But because i’m not a heartless monster I won’t try and control my followers interpersonal relationships to heavily.

“Don’t kill each other but you can decide who is second and third on my list outside”. They both don’t say a word and just leave.

“ It looks like its just the two of us my love. Oh and for future reference some of your lines can be easily taken out of context.”

What ones? Was it the promise that money will never be a problem and that I will take care of you.

I turn to look at Shatsha who has gotten dressed in her witch cosplay. Damn it's just so much like what I would expect a witch to wear.

The more time goes on the more i’m starting to like this girl. She reminds me of the old… I’M DOOMED! Shit Reds going to fucking gut me like a fish for this. Shit why wasn’t I thinking. Ahhh well it's a bit late now but I will try to keep my relationships to woman minimum. That right from now on. I have accepted my death. A great burden has been lifted from my shoulders by knowing that their was no hope from the beginning.

I face Sharsha and ask “Lugar de descanso final de muertes?” She nod her head and say “ I will show you myself but I’m waiting for a package right now”

“ A package?” I cannot help myself but ask what Sharsha is talking about “ Yes. I am having someone who owes me a recent favour collect a package I have acquired. And in return I would help heal his broken soul. It quite remarkable actually you might what to have a look at him to I have never seen such bad soul scars before.”

That does sound interesting to look at but I am on a schedule that puts me at a month behind.

“Ok how long do you think that package will take?” She smiles at me “ Your surprisingly impatient I will remember that for later” I can't see her eyes or her long elf ears because they are covered by the fringe but I got a good look at them yesterday.

They are a nice blue. No not the ears, the eyes. She seems to be a pure elf. She tells me that “ the package was supposed to be delivered today some time soon” that's good. I want to conclude stage two as soon as physically possible but she's right being impatient it also one of the reasons I got lost or have been lost for the last month… or am lost.

That's right I was the reason we got lost not Ren. But because i’m not a heartless monster I won’t bring up old wounds and hurt Rens feelings by telling him the truth. No I have too much pride for tha- I mean I care for him too much yep definitely not the first one.

“ Then I guess there's not much to do but wait. Sharsha tell me what you think of this theory”

“ With pleasure.”

*****

“ Are we getting closer”

“ yes sir”

“ That is good”

“ sir it won’t be long until we find that bastard who dared to disrespect the ritual.”

“ Let's just try and hurry things along. One shouldn’t need to crush every ant they see with an elephant but I will not deny our people traditions often have hidden wisdom”

*****

I approached her cabin holding the package she asked for.

Its and odd thing a spherical glass structure that seems to contain a strange glowing sand but is currently contained in a large leather bag with a sandpaper coating.

A few day ago I sure I was going to die. But I was saved by a nice girl who prefers to live in solitude. And in saving my life she simply asked that in return I get her a package for her. She also said that when I return she will offer me an easy fix to my problem she called a soul scar.

I Sves was never really interested in things like the soul and I know that soul magic wasn’t even considered a real magic but an evil practice in my old world.

It seems that it’s different here. She definitely said she was a soul magician. She also seem quite polite. I am a man not of traditions or logic but honour. But even still I just cannot see her as an evil girl.

I will simply repay the debt and go my own way. She is a nice girl but that's about it. She just not my type. Yeah.

But soon I hear a familiar sound. One of battle. I slow my approach and peak my head through the bushes. There's two people fighting. One is a warrior class and the other is a master class I think it actually very hard to tell. They aren’t using techniques just martial arts.

But what is more surprising is that they are fighting on even ground. That warrior is actually a match for the master. No judging from the wounds the smaller woman seems slightly superior. She is also a lot smaller. Like she could be a child she is so small. Is she a dwarf, she is so small? And the other a dark elf. Their face is bandaged but not the ears. Why is has she covered her face like a mummy’s? Is she hurt. Maybe she is ugly.

They are talented. They are definitely above me right now. It seems almost painful how weak I am. But that's not important right now. I need to confirm the status of the nice lady.

I sneak around as quietly as possible and I pear into the window. Although it's called a hut because it's one room you could probably fit forty people in their. And I see her. And I see him. The man who saved me.

Are the two of them close? They look like their in a heated discussion but she’s smiling and he has a serious look to him but the room itself… did they fight? She doesn’t look injured but he could have hit her in a way to hide the injuries. No if he was violent I doubt she would be standing their giggling and I don’t see him just standing their with a ‘ it cannot be helped smile’.

It was at this moment that a ridiculously feminine voice came from behind him. “ Hello their. And who might you be” Sves quickly turned around as fast as possible to see that a dark elf was leaned forward over him. She had pulled the bandages down with one had. Unlike one would expect she had no scars. She was gorgeous. The most beautiful person that Sves had ever seen.

Was this love at first sight. It must have been. There was no other reason for his heart to beat like this. I Sves needed her. I was so memorised by the voice I didn’t even notice the words.

‘That probably why he barely notice the dagger that the elf was holding to the side of his neck. But the dark eyes flashed into the room and she frowned saying’

“ Huh they're really not fucking. Really thought they would be.” Then came a smaller voice “ Huh. Oh your right. What are they doing? What do you think Ren” the beautiful face of beauty itself turn to the toll like monkey, that was all the smaller women could be compared to in Sves eyes and said “ Maybe their flirting. But it’s most likely that they are considering our next move. Or they might be engaged in a hobby of theirs. That is the answer I conclude based off their expressions. What do you think Adria?” The little one turns away from the heavenly beauty and says “ Same… yeah that's what I got sure yep. No instead they are…. They are pretending not to fuck because they know where watching them. That's the answer I was right and you were wrong.”

The divine deity turn to the talking dirt and said “ You don’t know that!” In a joking whisper.

I grab the hand of my new love and came down to a single knee. And I froze. She pulled her hand away like it was touching shit. She also was now looking at me like I was garbage. I know it is wrong but I need her in my life. Against her all other women look pointless. I was also pushed against the wall by the side of a knife that was digging into my skin. So I have no choice but to beg “ please marry me!”

I hear a powerful laughter break up next to me as the little thing. No the it has fallen to the ground and started laughing and crying. “ ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha get ha ha ah . Get fucked Ren you slut. I need to tell Varon Ha. He must see this. I need to tell him that Ren seduced the voyager pervert.” And like that she shot off. And I was left alone with the greatest beauty. “ It looks like it just us now my love”

But it was not to be “ I’m a guy, you prick.”