I'm thinking of uploading something like this every day, let me know what you think! Every comment so far has been really helpful, as this is my first time attempting something like this.

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It was almost 2:30pm as I floated about aimlessly a few kilometers above the clouds, I pushed the sense of foreboding and lust for Elise to the back of my mind and tried to determine where I am. In the distance was something quite unlike the small towns I've been passing over until recently. The cloud cover cleared, and the endless blue sky shone brightly carrying the sun's rays. They reflected off of huge buildings he could see in the distance, and they gave off their own golden glow from many artificial lights.

Looking in any direction I was amazed by how far I could see in every direction. Wherever the cloud cover parted I a detailed view of massive forests, vast fields or glittering buildings. My upgrades seemed to define my view with incredible amounts of info, somehow keeping everything in focus at once. This is all fine and dandy but that taste of human companionship has me lonely… Suddenly I have a flash of genius. I’m basically some kind of super hero, even if I did kind of abandon Elise she’ll probably get over it. YOSH! I’ll tele-

*B-BOOOOooommm* Sound rocks my world and as my overclocked brain tries to cope, two Canadian Air Force jets shatter the sound barrier in the distance as they close in on the U.F.O.(me) in restricted airspace.

“FUCK ME I JUST SHIT MY GOT DAMN PANTS!!”(Joe who immediately deletes his pants and the shit stuck to his ass) They were closing in fast, throwing off my train of thought while I forget to spawn new pants. As I finally took a look over the assaulters of my pants I got a good look of a pair of seemingly alien fighter pilots in their anti-g suits. They were flying CF-18 Hornets armed to the teeth with air to air missiles. I may have shit myself and they won’t think the same of me but damn they look pretty sweet.

Regretting my disgrace, I snapped out of my admiration for their planes and realized my nuts were frozen. Actually shouldn’t I be colder? Must be my new physique. I gave myself a nice pair of fur lined jeans as an apology for my boys.

They’re probably trying to radio me right? I started flying in the opposite direction as the jets at a slightly slower speed than them to allow them to catch up.

Once they were within a few kilometers, the jets structures were finally within the range of my scan-like ability. They were an odd mix of mottled grays, with 4 Sparrow missiles attached to the wings. The twin jet engines each had their own angled tail fin and the design was sleek. The missiles had 4 fins in the middle and another 4 near the bottom of the Hercules solid fuel rocket.

Fuck yeah. I sit in my brand new Hornet and try to figure out the comms system amongst an endless treasure trove of options. However, in no time at all I figure it out like a champ and hop onto their frequency.

“Yo this is Joe”(Rap God) The jets were now side by side with me, with the CAF pilots separated from me by 10m as my timing was flawless.

Two surprised pilots were looking in my direction, the one to my right was a middle aged man with a strong looking jaw and all around blocky features. Probably the closest you can get to the ‘caveman’ look. It looks like he could tank a tiger’s bitch slap.

The one to my left was a woman, she must’ve been in her early 30’s and she was far from attractive. She had brown hair and a decent ass from what my OP radar could tell, but those were her only 2 redeeming features. And yeah, her hair counts because even her skin was nasty looking.

“Where the fuck did that come from?!”(Caveman to my right)

“If you have a valid reason to be in this airspace state it now, or we’ll be escorting you back to our base. If you resist we will blow you out of the sky.”(Haggard lady to my left) She falls back and starts a lock-on. Is she in denial I just popped out of nowhere or…? Her friend doesn’t seem to know what to do, as he is still flying alongside me and giving me a baffled stare he doesn’t expect me to see through his black reflective visor. I feel a bit out of place in a jet without some kind of suit on, not that I’m complaining about my free 48 million dollar jet + missiles. And damn! Look at all these buttons!

I was getting a bit hyped sitting in this super machine, the Pratt & Whitney jet engines roaring behind me boiling my blood. Not to mention the fugly chick that finally got locked on to me. I was in the mood for a bit of fun and an escort back to their base sounded a lot less fun that a dogfight. Sirens were blaring to do something about my impending demise, and I happily obliged.

Pushing the plane to the limit, sudden G forces accompanied my acceleration to gain some distance from these jets. After totally not forgetting to keep a barrier around myself to keep from passing out, the jet tried to climb to the top speed of 1800km/h which was much harder to reach at our relatively low altitude of 6km. The woman fired her Sparrow, and the rocket came flying out at Mach 4. Instantly crashing into my plane because of the tiny distance between us and bringing my mystery plane down in an incredible explosion.

At least, that’s what the two veteran pilots were expecting to happen anyway.

You challenged the wrong guy to a dogfight! I delete the missile out of the air and reinforce my plane in preparation from some crazy shit by holding it together in a rock solid telekinetic grip. Letting the plane give its all in the smallest diameter loop-the-loop it can perform, an Immelmann turn. My panicked opponents started performing evasive manoeuvres, dodging my lock on by peeling in opposite directions of each other while climbing. I should have been way outclassed by these experienced pilots in a plane I’ve never flown before, I’m not even a pilot! But my new super brain was more than a match for both of these obstacles. I focus on the woman because she’s hideous and I’m a terrible person. With the help of the wind which I was manipulating my jet was able to perform outrageously efficiently, easily outclassing my opponent. I got on her tail and immediately fired the missile, overriding its need for a target. I take manual control of the missile and guide it into the bottom of her plane. An instant before impact I felt a tinge of guilt, and I constructed a quick barrier around the pilot.

*BOOOM-SHReeeEEEE-B-BOOM* The noise was almost beautiful when accompanied by the amazing visual of the newly made fireball. The rocket had burst the fuel tank causing the plane to be consumed in a sea of raging fire, while the jet engines sucked in their last pained breath and exploded as well. My reinforced plane was given a shower of debris and fire as I had been directly behind her, and it bounced off harmlessly.

“You motherfucker!”(Angry Caveman) I felt a bit bad because he just saw his friend ‘die’, so I quickly dispersed his fears.

“Don’t worry bro she’s fine, were just having a bit of fun. No one needs to die.”(Merciful God)

My ridiculous claim was proven by the woman who was now falling to the ground behind me, when she opened her parachute. Her fireball of a plane was plummeting to the ground, and I estimated that it would ‘land’ in an open field.

I had been flying at a calm pace to allow him to try and exact some revenge, but it was not to be. Seeing me easily defeat his wingman he wisely retreated, and started reporting back to base for reinforcements and ground support for his downed friend.

My heart was pounding out of my chest and my brain working overtime, such was my excitement at my very first dogfight. It’s probably rare if not unheard of for these things to engage each other in a close range fight like that!

After a few minutes of calming down I checked the time, 2:48pm. It had only been 18 minutes since he had been lazily admiring the scenery and it felt a little surreal.

I deleted the jet and once again took in my surroundings with a huge refreshed smile on my face. The sudden quiet and warmth of the sun, accented by the fading roar of Caveman’s Hornet created an unreal atmosphere.

~

Every country’s intelligence agency that ‘happened’ to have a satellite flying over the area at that moment were thoroughly confused, shocked and amazed.