The morning of the horrific day that will go down in history in Brunveld, 53 innocent lives were lost and 27 more were gravely injured by an angel in the afternoon, at nighttime another 1524 were lost in the collapse of the local hospital.

~~Joseph is procrastinating with news while he should be studying birds on the internet~~

“This is Trisha Tawakona with channel 105 news, I’m here at the scene of an attempted armed robbery which recently took place in Brunveld, Canada at the local Ronalds fast food restaurant. At approximately 2am on January 13th, the assailant, Jacob Blackburry, took his family’s self defense .38 revolver and held up an employee at gun point in an attempt to rob the store. Based on the video evidence leaked from the stores cameras we assume that Jacob was on edge and accidentally shot one Joseph Ashton, the employee working the register at the time, and we have not been able to recover a statement regarding his current state. However, in the video we clearly see that shows no signs of even feeling the bullet to his shoulder, and after a brief exchange of words that were not recorded, Jacob promptly unloaded the rest of his magazine into Joseph’s chest. In the footage we see he does react to getting shot this time, but our experts have said he should have (Boring parts omitted). Jacob fled the scene, where he was apprehended 26 minutes later in his own home with his daughter in his arms (Skip) Joseph shows no clear signs of discomfort in the parking lot (Blah-blah-blah). No one knows who the woman that he was talking to is at the moment. Joseph and the women were then brought to the hospital by ambulance, leading some to believe the woman was a relative of his. Joseph’s co-workers (No one cares). We will keep this story updated when any new information is brought in.” This bitch is trying too hard, any more news about me?

“This is Michael Berg here with channel 58 news, we have managed to secure an exclusive interview with the assailant, Jacob Blackburry, in the recent and mysterious armed robbery that took place last night at a Ronalds in Brunveld, Canada. The video of the robbery has already reached over 1 billion views on TeleTube as people are trying to discern what happened for themselves or are just interested in watching someone tank through gun shots. In just a few short moments we will show his answers to our reporters’ questions.”

‘What happened after you pulled the gun on Joseph?’

“H-h-he didn’t even care, h-he didn’t even flinch when it hit him…”(Jacob)

*The interviewer prods him to continue*

“I told him to give me all the m-m-money in the r-registers.. Then he a-asked if I wanted to make that a meal, so I yelled at h-him, and then shot him… H-H-HIS WOUND CLOSED IMMEDIATELY! It was the s-same after I shot the rest of my b-bullets.”(Jacob the Puss)

‘Why did you decide to rob the restaurant?’

“I o-owed some money to a certain l-loan shark… HE WAS GOING TO T-TAKE MY DAUGHTER DAMNIT! I--”(Irresponsible Father) YAWN, fuck it, back to the goddamn birds.

~~Later that day~~

NATIONAL BREAKING NEWS *Dramatic Noises*

CNNN Headquarters, current viewers: 3554672 “This is Laura Newman with Channel 1’s National News Network Headquarters where we have just received shocking amateur video footage from Brunveld, Canada of an angel appearing out of thin air. It is currently being streamed live through one of the spectators phones and this is the scene you are seeing on your screens right now. Seemingly random passersby have been chosen to bear witness to what could be the second coming of-“Sup?”—WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!*Distant Vomiting Noises* CUT THE-“ ~Technical Difficulties~

~~A few minutes later~~

NATIONAL BREAKING NEWS *Dramatic Noises*

CNNN Headquarters again, current viewers: 23845721 “This is Laura Newman, with tragic news to share here on CNNN. In an abrupt takeoff by the angel, we are receiving reports of possibly over 100 casualties, though not yet confirmed. Video footage has been compiled and in one of the frames you can see that the angel was preparing for flight… Hold on I’m getting something… We have just received word that the Pope has absolved the angel on a plea of ignorance, saying it could not have known that the humans around it would be thrown about in such a way as it had just descended upon our planet.”

~~At the same time~~

BRUNVELD BREAKING NEWS *Less Impressive Dramatic Noises*

“This is Trisha Tawakona with channel 105 news, we have confirmed that the ‘angel’ appeared to be nearly identical to Joseph Ashton. His whereabouts are currently unknown and experts around the globe are saying it’s a near 100% match with facial recognition software. It is currently unknown whether or not it has simply possessed Joseph’s body, however there are theories that he was an angel all along and that is why he received no damage from the revolver shots to his chest the night before. The angel’s declaration which was immediately followed by the disaster leads us to more strongly conclude the latter. We have also received reports from the local hospital that Joseph was discharged early this morning mere hours before the event. The discharge was unofficial, conducted by a nurse for breach of hospital rules, though it is not clear what the breach was at this time (And they’ll never know teehee~). On an ‘allegedly’ unrelated note, the woman seen with Joseph the night before is now in the local hospital as well, though we do not know why she has been admitted.”

~~Later that night~~

The reporter is standing on a hill overlooking the city with a good view of the few remaining pieces of the hospital crumbling inwards. “This is Trisha Tawakona, here with channel 105 with tragic news once again. The current time is 11pm, and on this faithful day, without warning, the Brunveld Hospital has violently collapsed. The chance of finding a single surviving patient or staff member has been said to be a grim 0.5% chance. The scale of this…”

~~At the ‘same’ relative time on a much higher plane of existence~~

A council was currently convening within a ‘divine’ temple. The temple was so vast, a human couldn’t hope to reach the top, or even cross the base from one corner to the next, even using a helicopter or some bullshit in its ‘relatively’ pitiful lifespan (Not that they wouldn’t get a good laugh out of you trying though).

It was made out of Soul Crystal, the highest quality building material that extremely powerful beings may possess. The structure floated in a vast and empty space, located in the corner of the universe in a ‘dark zone’. This was done so that they could rule over planes of existence lower than theirs, however they have no interest in planets like Earth, which is on the lowest of the low of the Astral planes.

However, on this particular occasion all of the members of the important council were gathered and were looking at Earth with clear disdain in their ‘eyes’ (It was more like a feeling being projected by their incorporeal bodies). Earth was so pitifully weak compared to one of them, that their combined gazes actually managed to create a small nuclear winter at both poles of the planet even from this unfathomable distance. The focus of the meeting was one Joseph Ashton…

On the council were 12 semi-transparent beings, each one ruled over an Astral plane. Yet the 13th which included Earth and many other similarly low-energy planets had no representative. The power ranking goes in ascending order, but it is not so significant as the jump of power from the 13th to the 12th as it is for the rest (Councilmen 1 and Councilwomen 2 are relatively the same on the power scale, etc.). Joseph had inherited the combined powers of his mother and father, who actually were born and raised on the highest plane, the 1st. Sealing their power and deciding to settle down on an inconspicuous backwater planet was something they both agreed to, and they also wished to have a child. Rosalina and Pavlo Ashton managed to succeed, accomplishing their dream and raising a ‘normal’ baby boy for a few years.

Then, a terrible ‘accident’ occurred where the two insanely powerful beings were killed in a car accident… Thus leaving Joseph alone on that planet with no relatives. As he grew up, the seal on his power began to erode (I wonder why?) and with incredibly ‘convenient’ timing, activated just in time to prevent his death in a fast food restaurant. The 12 beings found all of this terribly amusing, but they found it even more so watching the ‘human’ play around with beings incredibly weaker then himself. In spite of his late mother and father, the council decided after a heated debate that it would be funny to appoint him to be the ruler of the ‘weak’ 13th plane and its many planets (If he ever showed up a council meeting they’d laugh him out). Of course, this would be a huge upgrade for Joseph, as he can receive ‘taxes’ on the living beings energy within his plane. But to the council, it was a single molecule of gas on Jupiter, insignificant enough to give away for the sheer entertainment value.

“HAHAHAH! Look at the little bastard go! What a fucking idiot! I AGREE!”(Councilman 9)

“Nyah~ahaha, what an easy decision, agree!”(Councilwoman 5)

And similar responses from every other member of the Council thus ended the heated debate. They swiftly placed Joseph’s body on the highest ranking planet of the 13th plane: Ybar. 26 times larger than earth (With many times more innate energy), it was in a rather stable but close orbit around a black hole. The ‘Sun’ of Ybar was also in an orbit with the black hole, at a suitable distance from Ybar and yet the distance between them never decreased or increased. Seasons were caused by the fluctuating energies of the planet, and 24 hour days were the result of a suitable rotation and axis towards its Sun (This is all so convenient… like some omnipotent beings made this for shits and giggles or something…). As the 12 omnipotent beings who loved shits and giggles transported his body across the universe, they noticed another being getting dragged along with him by a recognizable and distasteful link…

Naturally, they couldn’t care less and were more than happy to move onto other things.

And thus, she followed.

Meanwhile, 8 hours before that ‘divine’ info dump on a quaint little rock called Earth…