What is life!?

"LIFE'S A BITCH,"

Ghul shouted, his words carrying untold frustration. He was currently inside a thick bush, naked that is...

Shhhh

Ghul winced in pain, as the bush would occasionally scratch his bruised back. Shouting and venting made it all the worse. He couldn't stay still and calm. He had to vent, or he felt like he would go crazy.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAPPENED TO THE WORLD. IS THIS WORLD CRAZY, OR AM I CRAZY?"

First, I wake up in a narrow valley between two mountains with a Guardian pointing its laser at my face. NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!! period...

He sucked in a breath of cold air, as he continued.

Then, I almost got drowned to death by an Octorok and had a strange dream. Now, I'm inside a bush, buck naked, and contemplating life...

Ghul roared in anger, as the bush swayed left and right. If people saw the bush, they would certainly have some inappropriate thoughts.

Ghul patted his chest to calm down his madness. After venting all his frustration, he felt much relieved and lost. Even, if he knew where he was...

Dueling peaks...

Staring at the two mountain peaks with a narrow valley between them, there was a complicated look on his face. It wasn't his world. It wasn't the earth he knew.

Even though, he had no loved ones to return to at home. It was still his home, no matter how boring it was. Home is where your heart is. Even, if he loved this game very much, it wasn't where his heart was. His eyes grew moist. His parents had died in a car accident, while they were coming to visit him while he was in the hostel. That was the worst day of his life, as he still vividly remembers that day.

A tear dripped down on the dry soil, darkening it. His parents' death devasted him, so much that he dropped out of high school. The home his parents left for him was the only solace he had. Every inch of it reminded him of them. He didn't feel alone when he was in the house. He didn't feel like an... orphan.

Tears burst out his eyes like a broken dam, he didn't even have that much anymore. He was now completely alone in this familiar yet so unfamiliar world. He knew life wasn't fair, but life was also such a bitch. Thrown off in this dangerous world, Ghul wasn't so stupid to think of himself as a protagonist. Even if his job was a web novel translator. No, former job... This wasn't the world he knew anymore.

Man up, Ghul. You have to accept the reality and move on. You have to survive in this new world.

Ghul tried to cheer himself up, chuckling while imagining his near-death escape experience. Tears stained his cheeks, as he constantly wiped them with his arm. He laughed while still sobbing.

After some time, and with bloodshot eyes, Ghul calmed down, as he started to think about his number one priority: finding something to wear.

Ghul stretched out his head from the bush, keeping his eye out for people... with clothes! He broke off a leafy branch of a tree.

It's actually quite easy. This body seems to be trained. Those lean muscles look full of power.

Ghul covered his ass and crotch with two leafy branches and started surveying his surroundings for anything useful at this moment. He saw smoke in the sky while his eyes glowed with delight. Smoke means fire, and fire probably means humans, or maybe Hylian! Ahem...

Ghul carefully walked towards the direction of the smoke. He didn't want to recklessly charge in. He didn't know if the other creature who lit the fire (if there was any) was hostile or not.

The stamina of this body is quite good.

Ghul commented, while slowly making his way out of the thick forest. He didn't know how he ended up in a forest. All he remembered was running like a madman, and jumped inside a bush, hiding there. The lush-green forest was quite pleasing to the eye, but Ghul knew it was dangerous nonetheless.

He hid behind a tree. It was a very big tree, and there was a plain grassland ahead of it. He was out of the forest. He peaked his head out to see a camp of monsters besides the river bank. They were grotesque and looked like a goblin, with a big snout and large ears.

Alarm bells rang in his ear, while a thought came to his mind.

BOKOBLINS...

One of the most common monsters in the game LEGEND OF ZELDA. Ghul would be lying if he said that he wasn't scared seeing this hideous monster. Its strength was average, but a monster nonetheless.

Ghul gulped almost audibly, he wanted to run away, but a torn pant at the side of the camp made him not to do so. The Bokoblins probably stole it from some Hylians. He wanted that pant so badly, but he was scared as well. The wooden club wasn't just for show.

They shouldn't notice if I quietly steal that away. Should I? Let's try. I could always run if things go south. This body has pretty good stamina and the Bokoblins can't actually run fast enough to catch me. At least, in the game, the Bokoblins could never catch up to Link.

Ghul decided to take the risk. he was a grown man, and he knew you have to take some risks in life. The leaves everywhere were too small to even cover his willy. There was nothing in the environment he could use as well. Waiting for someone to pass by was just a pipe dream. Even, if someone passed by, who will actually carry an extra set of clothes. If he stole their clothes and left them naked, he would seriously have to start questioning his morals.

So, without any choice, Ghul decided sneaked in the camp. There were a total of five Bokoblins in the camp. One on a wooden watchtower, two were patrolling, one was sleeping, and one was by the fire. He had to be the most cautious of the Bokoblin on the watchtower The two patrolling Bokoblins were more like taking a stroll than patrolling. There were tons of loopholes.

Dumb monsters!!

Ghul cursed, trying to hide his fear. The sleeping one and the one by the fire were out of sight from the pant. He slowly made his way towards the camp, while keeping his eyes on all five of the Bokoblins, the one on the watchtower the most. Every step he took made his heart race. Even the gentle breeze made his heart skip a beat. His back was drenched in cold sweat.

Five steps... just five more steps.

First step, the sleeping Bokoblin waved his hand, swatting the housefly away. Ghul almost collapsed, his heart was on his throat.

Ghul sucked in a breath of cold air, taking the second step, the Bokoblin by the fire suddenly jumped in the air...

Shit! Did it saw me?

His heart raced as a drop of sweat slithered down his left eyebrow, and the Bokoblin started picking his nose. Ghul sighed in relief seeing that.

False alarm... Now, three more steps... Three more steps.

One... Two... Three, I got it.

Suddenly, the Bokoblins on a watchtower turned its head towards Ghul's direction. He had smelled something. Aaha. a Hylian. It took out its horn and started blowing it, as all the Bokoblin became alert.

Shit...

Ghul knew he was f*cked when he met the Watchtower Bokoblin's gaze. There was only one thought in his mind.

RUN...

And so he did, he ran like a madman while clutching the pant, not even turning his head once.

This isn't a game Ghul. You have to stay alert. Those are real monsters, and they don't leave after they kill their prey, like in the game. They eat them. Damn it, did I just jinxed it?

Ghul turned his head back to see that the Bokoblins were already faraway and stopped chasing him. Escaping death second time, and successfully stealing the pant, he couldn't help but feel a little giddy.

Bam

And before he knew it, he hit a tree with his head still looking behind. It hurt like bit*h.