Chapter 32 Bolt From The Blue

Trais leaves me alone with my thoughts, the turmoil tumbling about in my brain unsure of what to do with itself. By the time I’m out the palace gates, I realize…

He didn’t actually tell me anything about that night…!

Trais looks flamboyant and easy-going, so I let down my guard… But in hindsight, each of his words were well thought out. Giving enough crumbs so I’ll be satisfied. While still distracting me enough so I wouldn’t look for the whole loaf of bread.

Mrm. It wasn’t as if his information was useless either. From what he’s told me, I can narrow down the possible reasons for Juler’s investigation.

He could have been looking for clues on the Second Prince’s faction… Or perhaps his mother’s death five years prior… Either case proves terribly troubling though. Since the assailant from last night confirms Kindred involvement.

Standing rooted to the ground, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in myself. If I had kept my wits about me instead of relaxing around him, I might have been able to extract more information… At the very least, it was an important life lesson.

Well, there’s no two ways about it now. I can’t very well disturb him again when I’m sure he has many duties to complete.

I begin walking out the garden towards the bridge, before a modest chirp catches my attention.

Looking to the side, I see a pure-white bird perched along a window of the high tower. It stares at me with uncanny likeness, as if observing me to figure out the very being I am.

Before I know it, my feet are taking me towards the detached building.

An entrance is redden oak and wrought iron bolts. Vines weaving about, insurgent in its insatiable nature. Cracks and signs of wear all along the walls don’t bother to be hidden from plain sight.

There’s no one around…

Reaching out, I push open the door.

Fog surrounds me. The kind that isn’t heavy and suffocating, but the type that's wispy and light. There’s nothing around me but a grey obscurity and a chilling moisture that clings to my skin. I feel sleepy as if I could lie down in this very spot and take a short reprieve.

I could rest my eyes, just for a bit…

Chirp.

The clear-cut sound from earlier reminds me to shake off any weariness. Unsure what my original purpose in being here is, I nevertheless begin walking.

Albeit… Directionless and lost.

Who are you?

A voice, almost the sound of wind whispers in passing. I whip around feeling the chill of vapor condensing onto the tip of my ear. Nothing meets my gaze.

“Who are you?” I counter, trepidation lacing my words that I didn’t know I felt.

Why are you here?

“I’m… Not sure.”

Who are you?

“I’m-”

Who are you?

Who are you?

“I- I don’t”

Who are you?

“I don’t know!”

I’m running at full speed now, panic settling into my bones like the wet chill seeping in as well.

W-Who am I? I don’t know. Why don’t I know?

A fluster of words further fan the flames of panic and despair in my heart. I can’t see anything ahead of me, but I keep on running as if it would lead me to salvation. As if gaining enough distance would let me escape. However, I don’t even know what I’m escaping from.

The ground is slick with condensation, causing the momentary loss of friction against my steps. Disorientation being the only thing that allows realization that I’m falling, seeing upwards looks exactly the same as forwards.

Falling, falling, falling.

It feels as if I’m falling in slow motion. I should have already hit the ground, but time begins to muddle here. My gut tightens as the acceleration of gravity wrenches me free-falling faster and faster. Hair whipping past my face, my arms and legs are unable to grasp any holding surface.

I- I don’t know what’s going on...!

What’s happening?

Where am I?

Who am I?

Will I... Will I continue to fall forever?

Nothing except confusion fastens to my mind.

An acceptance drizzles within me, like water slowly dripping into a bucket. As I continue this downward fall, slowly, my eyelashes flutter shut.

Snow?

Cold flakes fall upon my nose first, then cheeks and mouth. The cold drops are pleasant, they rouse a different feeling from the depths of whoever I am.

This feeling…

It’s warm, yet… So painful.

Throat constricting, my chest feels as if it’s a moment’s notice from caving inwards.

Tears?

Warm beads run down my cheeks, then upwards past my eyelids and forehead. When my eyes gradually open. There’s airy dewdrops suspended, yet falling upwards, downwards.

The rain drips from the never-ending sky, droplets trickling against my body. It’s neither cold, nor warm. The temperature feels just right. As if I’m melding with the pearls of water slowly filling me up.

They crystallize into shimmers of diamond dust and I feel something I’ve never felt before. If I fell here forever, there would be nothing else. Nothing more. And nothing less. Nothing to pain me. Nothing to worry me. Nothing to hurt me.

Free.

Truly free.

I- Do I want to keep feeling this way forever?

The question is never answered.

As a heat scorches against my veins, threatening to rupture out, bursting my flesh from the inside out.

Gaaasppp.

A deep inhalation fractures my lungs, no will of my own could forcibly stop it. Disorientation twirls my head like a baton swung high, everything is swirls of dizziness. But I feel hundreds of eyes on me. Whisps of things ethereal hiding in the corners. I patiently wait for equilibrium to reorient my senses.

When the sensation stops, I see a white bird fly into a tunnel of darkness that seems to only lead to more darkness. A trail of golden hair disappear behind the corner as the last vestiges of whatever was looking at me dissipates into the air.

My fingers meet solid ground and I realize I’m lying down. Without moving yet, my eyes flick left: stairs, right: more stairs. The steps spiral upwards, spinning so far up that they blend in with the black.

Gently propping myself to sit, I see I’m at the base of the tower’s stairwell.

The red door is closed, the iron bolted shut.