“Him? Again? Alright, Damien, bring up the file. What can we incarnate this guy as next?”

“Um. . . nothing, sir. His file has been frozen by divine decree. We’re stuck with him.”

“Ugh, seriously? It’s only been a few decades since I last had to deal with him and I am not ready for this. I need a vacation.”

“Sir, if I might speak freely—”

“Denied. Go away, Damien. I need to. . . ‘interview’ our new arrival.”

“At your command.”

“Well. Alright, may as well get this over with. You, ‘mortal,’ wake up.”

“Wha—, oh. You again?”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

“At least the feeling’s mutual.”

“I have a proposal for you. I need a vacation, and you apparently aren’t allowed to leave Hell. So you take over as king for a few decades while I get some well-earned time roaming about the earth seeking souls to devour.”

“You want to foist your management job off on me?”

“Obviously.”

“And what if I don’t want your job?”

“I’ll do my best to make your existence as unbearable as mine is about to be.”

“And what if I say I’d enjoy the challenge of seeing who holds out longest?”

“Then I remind you that if you refuse my generous offer, the other option is that we have to stay in the same plane of existence as each other for the rest of eternity.”

“Deal. Get out of here, and don’t let me see you back for at least another generation.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be an extensive trip. Earth has a lot more souls these days to look through than it used to.”

“And when you do come back, I’m keeping the throne. It’s surprisingly comfortable.”

“I may have to fight you for that one.”

“Just get out.”

“Gladly.”