《Not Quite What You Meant (Short Story Collection)》The Last Conversation of Byros Derronson
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“Who has dared to kidnap my daughter? Byros, there you are! Tell me everything you know.”
“Well, sire, I’m not sure ‘kidnap’ is precisely the correct term. ‘Enticed to run away’ seems more accurate, if we’re being truthful.”
“So it was a sorcerer? Even worse than I’d feared. He’s ensnared her in his spell!”
“No, my lord. He - er, is only a squire. And he told her stories of grandeur which, if we’re being honest with ourselves, the Princess has had something of a predilection for ever since her mother—”
“The Queen’s past is done and over with.”
“Yes, sire. As you say. But ever since Princess Josalina. . . er, discovered her mother’s history, she’s begun to have foolish, romantic, fanciful notions. And I fear this squire has only encouraged her to do something foolish.”
“Then gather my knights and rescue her! We cannot allow my only daughter to be snatched away by the machinations of a lowly squire!”
“But, my lord, she has gone toward the Drakruns. The treaties—”
“Hang the treaties, man! Bring her back at any cost.”
“Sire, please reconsider. Sending knights across the boundaries is tantamount to declaring war, whatever the reasons.”
“Then don’t take the knights, if it matters so much to you, but whatever it takes I order you to bring her back.”
“Oh. Oh, my lord, me? Personally? But I’m not equipped to handle such an important task, surely there must be someone better qualified—”
“Like my knights?”
“Yes, but less, er, officially-military?”
“If I cannot send my knights, there is no one left but you.”
“What of the nobles?”
“Former knights, former military leaders, former adventurers. . .”
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“I know you think yourself less capable than those with military training and all their limbs, but I believe in you, Byros. Who was it who championed the cause of stable boys everywhere, refusing to stop until they were granted equal pay with housemaids?”
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“Er, me, sire.”
“And who single-handedly peeled every potato in the kitchens when half the staff fell ill?”
“Also me, but—”
“And who tirelessly translated the Gobjamob-Lorob in time for the Unification Feast when no one else would lift a hand?”
“I think it’s simply that no one else knows the goblin language, my lord, not that my effort was—”
“Nonsense, man! You’ve always been willing to take the extra step, put in the full measure of yourself. And now I need that man to go out into the Drakruns and rescue my kidnapped daughter before she does something idiotic.”
“You do realize that nothing in food preparation, translation, or campaigning for worker equality translates to surviving the Drakruns?”
“Nonsense! You have everything you need, Byros. Find the fire within your spirit, put your full effort into the task, and I’m sure you’ll be back with Josalina in no time.”
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