Wednesday 7th Feb 2018

I spent most of the hour before the football match trying to get Tessa to hurry up. Boy that girl likes to come prepared! I sneaked a look at her list and items such as ‘first aid kit’ and ‘emergency rations’ were mentioned. It took forever.

However, when we finally arrived at the uni football ground it was clear I needn’t have worried about being late. Friendly chaos reigned supreme and the match was obviously a long way from starting. As we all spilled out of Dylan’s car, my eye was drawn by a group of girls in bright t-shirts who were welcoming the fans and handing out free samples of an energy drink.

“Hey, is that BuzzDrive?” exclaimed Ethan. He hurried off to accost one of the girls, took the lime green can that was offered and came jogging back. “Supposed to be seven times stronger than Red Bull.”

Tessa looked annoyed. “Ethan, didn’t we talk about you aiming for a healthier lifestyle?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Caffeine drinks are a necessary vice for programmers.”

“How can a conscious choice be necessary? I don’t think you’re…”

Sensing the beginning of another episode of the Tessa & Ethan Show, Layla, Dylan and I left them to it and wandered towards the box office to collect our tickets. Shane had left what looked like a dozen in my name. With them in hand, Layla took out her camera and headed off to stalk a likely-looking group of tipsy students. Dylan trailed after her. Little did those drunkards know that they were about to become immortalised in photographic art. Left alone, I glanced around and spotted Ethan standing a few metres away, staring into the distance and scratching his head. I headed over to him. “Here’s your ticket,” I poked him in the arm with it. “Where’d Tessa go?”

“I don’t get it.” He took the ticket absently, slipping it into his pocket. “We were talking about energy drinks and then she just stormed off.”

Ethan obviously had a lot to learn about women. “Did you admit that she was right?”

“Huh?”

“Sophie!” The voice came from behind me and I turned to see Shane approaching. Jade was with him, but she was engrossed in a phone conversation. With a quick wave, she turned her back on us, still jabbering away. Dressed in a skirt, suit jacket and high-heels, she looked very professional and rather stressed. Shane, on the other hand, looked relaxed and casual as he always does. I drew him in for a hug. “Good to see you! Thanks for the tickets. Oh, this is Ethan.”

The guys shook hands. “Great that you guys could make it,” says Shane. “But Sophie, didn’t you say you were bringing your new flatmates?” He stared at Ethan, who happened to be wearing a t-shirt stating 'I’d rather kiss a Wookiee'. “Is this your boyfriend?”

“Ethan is a friend,” I said hastily. “The others are around somewhere.”

Shane looked relieved. “That’s good.” His eyes widened, “I mean, it’s good that they’re around somewhere, not that this guy isn’t… I mean…”

He was saved from digging himself any deeper when Jade finished her phone call and interrupted. “Ready babe? I’ve gotta go and schmooze the BuzzDrive people.”

“Oh are you working with BuzzDrive?” Ethan was suddenly interested.

“No, I’m with the promoters,” Jade snapped, running a hand over her hair. I hadn’t seen her this harried before. To be fair, I hadn’t seen her in any situation that wasn’t Shane’s apartment before. “We’ve a slot on local TV at half time and I’ve got to find someone to interview about the match.”

“Babe, there are loads of people you could interview.” Shane flung his arm out to indicate the entire football ground.

Jade glared at him. “It’s got to be someone well-informed AND sober. So that disqualifies practically everyone here.”

I was about to jokingly suggest she should interview Shane when an idea hit me. Could this be the key to my dilemma? “Actually I know someone who might be perfect for that,” I said.

Jade looked at me in hope. “Really? Who?”

“He’s sort of an expert on student football. Knows everything about the league and usually has a lot of insights. Doesn’t give that many interviews but I think he would if the right person asked.”

Shane was looking at me with narrowed eyes, but Jade clasped her hands, “Can you get me in touch with him?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Amazing! Call me when you know more. Come on babe,” She dragged Shane off before he could ask any questions about the “football expert”. I could understand him being suspicious. As far as he knew, I’ve never taken an interest in the game except for what I was forced to watch at his place.

I looked around for Ethan, only to find that he’d disappeared. And I still had Tessa’s ticket. I wandered around and eventually found everyone eating vegan burgers from a stall. I’d been keeping an eye out for Blazer but so far I hadn’t seen any sign of him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t there. I knew from experience that he was good at staying out of sight. My sight that is. On a hunch, I borrowed Layla’s camera and spent a couple of moments going through the photos she’d already taken. There were loads of random ones, passers-by and people entering the stadium. I examined them carefully and was rewarded for my efforts. There behind a group of students was the skinny figure of Blazer. He was wearing a student hoodie and grey baseball cap, but it was unmistakably him. I swear the guy is like a reverse vampire who only shows up in photos. Anyway, the important thing was that his presence was now confirmed and I could start building my trap.

“Guys, I might need your help with something…” I showed them the photo of Blazer and explained Jade’s dilemma. “This is the guy I need to introduce Jade to, but he’s a slippery one and I don’t have his phone number or anything. If anyone sees him, can you please let me know?”

It was clear that Ethan recognised Blazer but he only raised his eyebrows at me and didn’t comment. I was pretty sure I could trust him to play along.

The match was being announced, so we headed into the stadium to take our seats. In the short time since we’d collected the tickets, Layla had got hers upgraded to a photographer pass so she had access to the touchline area in front of the seating. Dylan didn’t have a photographer pass, but he did have a supercharged glare, which was apparently the next best thing. The steward controlling the entrance to that area allowed him to follow Layla without comment.

Tessa and Ethan were discussing the energy drink thing in lowered voices. From the sound of it, they were going deep into the science of caffeine on the human system. I tried to tune them out and was glad when Shane flopped down into a seat just behind mine.

“Hey Sophie,” he wiped his forehead on his sleeve. “God, I’m glad I don’t have to do any of that promotional crap. It’s insane!”

I put on a sympathetic expression. “How’s Jade holding up?”

“Oh she’s amazing at it.” He looked over his shoulder, then lowered his voice. “But she’s absolutely wasted on these people. That girl is so bright and has so many ideas, not to mention that she’s gorgeous enough to be a presenter herself…” his face adopted the familiar goofy expression, “…and I know it’s her dream and everything, but there she is, running around behind the scenes.” He shook his head in exasperation.

“Who’s running around?” Jade sat down next to him, patting him on the shoulder.

“No-one babe.” He kissed her on the cheek. “How’d it go with the BuzzKill idiots?”

She snorted. “Why don't these people get that we have other sponsors too? I could understand if they were footing the entire bill, but they’re stingy enough as it is. I’m constantly trying to keep everyone happy.”

I nodded sympathetically. “That’s rubbish. But here’s something that might cheer you up. I know for sure that the expert guy is here and I’ve got people working on locating him. Do you already have someone to interview him? I was thinking I could do it…”

Jade’s eyes widened. “Oh Sophie, that would be amazing, I was supposed to do it myself but I don’t really know what to ask. And it’s always better to have a woman interviewer,” she directed the last sentence at Shane who had opened his mouth to protest. “Studies have shown that audiences respond better when there are gender dynamics between participants in an interview and the network is keen on promoting gender equality in sports reporting.”

Shane shut his mouth again. I shot Jade an admiring look. Shane was right. She’s wasted on these people.

But Shane wasn’t finished. His gaze landed on me instead. “How do you know this football expert anyway?” His eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

I gestured towards the seats next to me. “He’s an acquaintance of Ethan’s. I’ve met a lot of people since moving out of your place.”

He looked hurt. “You make it sound like I was the one preventing you from meeting anyone.”

I started to protest, but Jade winked at me and pulled Shane’s face towards her, stroking his cheek. “But it was a good thing for us that Sophie moved out, wasn’t it babe?”

He started kissing her and I turned away. Thank god the match got going so I was saved from having to witness any more get-a-room-worthy stuff from either of the couples surrounding me.

As the players ran out onto the field and the crowd cheered for each of them, I allowed myself a moment to daydream about attending an event like this with a boyfriend of my own. Strangely, the face of this imaginary partner of mine looked a lot like Adam…

I snapped back to the present. The whistle had blown and the players were already racing up and down the field, passing the ball between them. If it had been a normal outing, I would have tried to get into the spirit of the match. Instead I found myself looking at the crowd, searching through the faces for a tell-tale grey cap. Blazer didn’t know he was spotted, so there was no reason he would have taken it off. At one point I remembered Ethan’s comment about not being able to see behind me and was immediately convinced that Blazer must be among the people seated in the stands above my seat. Why did Shane get us tickets so close to the front! The spot between my shoulder blades prickled and I tried to think of a feasible excuse to look back.

I was concentrating so hard that I didn’t see Layla trying to get my attention until Ethan nudged me and pointed to her. She was standing on the sidelines, waving. I left my seat, squeezed along the aisle and ran down the steps to the barrier. Layla was grinning, so it must be good news. Sure enough, she held out the camera to show me. “I found him.” She’d captured a perfect shot of Blazer, sitting hunched into his hoodie with his cap pulled down. “He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying the match very much,” she commented. The photo was taken from an angle that incorporated the green ‘BuzzDrive’ sign that Blazer was sitting close to. I lifted my head and casually scanned the stadium, easily finding the sign itself, with a blob of grey next to it to signify Blazer’s cap. It was directly opposite where I’d been sitting. So much for the he’s-behind-me theory.

Note to self: Do not trust itchy shoulder blades.

Having identified Blazer, I continued scanning the stadium for a couple of seconds, so it wouldn’t look like I was staring at him. Oh yeah, I'm such a pro spy.

Then I turned back to Layla. “Perfect! Thank you so much, Layla. Now Jade and I just have to get over there to catch him during the half time break. Sorry to keep giving you tasks, but do you think you could lurk and keep an eye on him. Let me know if he gets up to leave before the break.”

“No problem,” Layla took the camera back. “This is almost like being a secret agent!” She winked at me and then headed off along the touchline again.

Back in my seat, I told Jade that everything was fixed for the interview with my ‘expert’.

“Oh thank god,” she exclaimed. “I’ve got the camera crew waiting outside, we’ll have to leave a few minutes before the break so that we’re ready when the slot comes.”

I was on edge for the rest of the first half, hardly even noticing when the home team scored and the crowd around me erupted into cheers. Shane clapped me on the back and I did my best to cheer along with everyone but my throat was dry and my palms were sweating. Get a grip, Sophie, I told myself firmly. This will probably be the easiest mission you’ll ever have. The thought calmed me, and I managed to get a bit more involved in the game.

35 minutes into the first half, Jade tapped me on the shoulder and gestured towards the exit. I darted a look over to the other side of the stadium, checking the grey blob. It was still safely in place. Outside, Jade and I found two guys with TV recording equipment waiting for us. Jade greeted them hurriedly then I began leading everyone around the stadium to the opposite side. I tried to walk confidently, stifling my qualms that Blazer would take it into his head to leave before we got there. On the way my phone beeped with a message from Layla. It was a photo showing Blazer heading towards the stadium exit. I quickened my pace. As we turned the final corner to reach the other side of the stadium, there were still a couple of minutes to go in the first half. Half-way along the stadium, a figure in a grey cap emerged from a midway exit, glanced once in our direction, then hunched his shoulders and headed the other way. Blazer! We were going to lose him.

Without thinking, I broke into a run, feet pounding the concrete as I shot towards the receding figure. I lengthened my stride in an attempt to run silently, but Blazer must have heard me because he turned to look back just as I reached him. On an impulse, I opened my arms and went barrelling into him, catching him in a hug. “Hey you!” I cried. “You were going the wrong way.” Jade’s heels came clicking across the concrete as she and the camera crew jogged to catch up with us. “Here he is!” I called to them. “He got confused about the direction, didn’t you?” I smiled at Blazer as if we were best friends, keeping my arms wrapped firmly around him. He was staring at me with an expression that was half fear, half confusion and didn’t respond to my question. He also didn’t struggle or make any attempt to get away from me. Now that I was so close, I could see he was unhealthily pale, like Ethan. He was probably more at home behind the keyboard than in the field. I might be able to swing this if I could stay in control of the situation.

Jade hurried forward and grabbed his limp hand. “I’m Jade, pleased to meet you! We’re really honoured that you agreed to do this interview. It’ll be shown on the LNX network live, but you can also watch it later on the LNX website or on YouTube.”

“YouTube?” Blazer echoed faintly.

The sound guy handed me one of those huge TV microphones, which I took in one hand while keeping the other firmly wrapped around Blazer’s waist. The camera guy tested his equipment while Jade pulled us out of the shade of the building and positioned us so that the exit from the stadium could be seen in the background.

“And we’ll be live in 5…4…3…” the cameraman did a countdown, signalling the last two numbers on his fingers. The light on the camera went red and Blazer stiffened, but I had a really good grip on him and he would have had to make quite a scene in order to get away from me. Thank goodness for the touchy-feely TV culture that made it seem normal for me to interview him with an arm wrapped around him. I put on a huge smile and looked into the camera. “Hello football fans! Thank you for joining us at the university ground. It’s been a very exciting match so far. We’ve been lucky enough to grab an interview with this very special football expert who has promised to share his insight into the game. Well, sir, I know you’ve been following the match very carefully, what’s your opinion on it?”

I hold out the mic to Blazer. He made a noise like a strangled bird.

I asked the next question. “The home team are really on fire, they’ve been blazing their way through the first half, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Err..”

“I know that you recently attended the university gala dinner. Would you say that the home team would fit in at an event like that? They would stand out a lot, wouldn’t they? People would be watching their every move?”

“I, uh…”

“And how do you think this moment will go down in history? Imagine that people from the future are watching this right now. What do you think they’d say about the situation?”

By this point Blazer had picked up on my hints and was looking at me in horror. I dropped the smile for a moment and gazed directly into his eyes. “People from The Future are watching you right now, Blazer, how do you think they feel?”

That was the last straw. With a moan, he struggled violently and I finally released my grip. Blazer sprinted away from the stadium like a terrified animal. The cameraman swung around to watch Blazer run, before remembering that he was recording live TV and quickly focused back on me. By now the first half of the match had finished and people were starting to exit the stadium. A small crowd of onlookers had gathered around us.

“Well, folks," I tried to smooth over Blazer's abrupt exit. "He warned us that he’d have to make a quick getaway. Something about being late for his next secret agent job, haha!”

Jade was looking like she could murder someone. I was relieved to see Shane standing a short way off and beckoned him over. “And now for someone with real opinions on the match, let’s talk to Shane! Student and Football Addict extraordinaire!”

Shane gaped at me but Jade dragged him over and pushed him in front of the camera. He straightened his glasses as I asked what he’d thought of the match so far.

“Yes, well, started slow. I’d say our boys were a bit intimidated by the reputation of the guests today, but fair play to them, really got behind the ball…” He knew what he was talking about and was enthusiastic to boot. Shane talked for the remaining time left in the slot, needing only a couple of prompts from me to keep him on topic. As I’d envisioned, he was the perfect person to interview.

By the end of it, Jade was looking ecstatic. As soon as the cameraman signalled the end of the live slot she jumped into Shane’s arms. I slunk off hoping that their passionate make-out session would erase the memory of the disaster that was my first ‘interviewee’.

I did a quick circuit of the stadium but there was no sign of Blazer anywhere. Disablement complete! It was time to go and enjoy the rest of the match with my friends.

Almost like a normal girl.

Sigh.

Sophie’s fool-proof plan for secret agent missions:

- Have talented and well-connected friends

- Trick them into doing most of the work for you

- Enjoy the results