Timeline: 2 Days until Astraea - 06:50

“What in Putin’s ashtray is noise!?” I was startled awake by a blaring bell in my head, louder than anything I had ever experienced. And pain, so much pain. Like a migraine I had once, back in University when I didn’t sleep for three days because I was studying for my doctoral finals. One moment, I was enjoying a nice rest with my beloved in the Carolinas, and the next I was assailed by an invisible attacker. Oh, the developers were going to get an ear-full.

“Vlad, what are you talking about? There’s no noise, aside from the common room downstairs. But thanks for the wakeup, I guess.” Ina rolled her eyes as she rolled out of the bed, both were swift and practiced. I opened my eyes and saw the image of an alarm clock covering most of my vision. It was translucent, but still present. I also had a message, if I remembered what the email icon from years of electronic toil looked like. I waved my hands frantically in the air, shouting for the alarm to stop, and the noise finally went away. I collapsed back on the bed with a huff as I thought about the messaging system.

--Special Notice from Osmark Technologies!--

There was a video attachment, which was strange. I focused on it, and it began to play. Osmark technologies’ annoying jingle fed into my ear as the small window changed from black to a person sitting at a desk.

“Good morning, you’ve successfully spent your first full 24 hours in VGO! Your logout option is now inactivated, as your body has begun to shut down.” God, was he chipper for being such a downer. “You’re one-third of the way through our patented transition process, and you probably have one hell of a headache.” He continued to be pleasant, even though I wanted to smash his puny skull. His voice bordered between irritating nerd and upbeat overly-protective mother. “Make sure you get yourself a nice breakfast nearby soon, it will help to soothe that pain and make the day better. Thanks for choosing Osmark Technologies! Have a great second day!” And with that, the image went back to the flat-black square. I rolled my head to try to work the muscles in my neck, and I waved my hand in the air, dismissing the video.

“Such annoyance.” I was speaking slowly, it hurt to think.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was rather good in bed.” Ina’s voice came through the pain as a gentle wave, there was some kind of soothing process to it.

“That is joke, yes?” I looked at her as she pulled her armor on, her face was split with a huge smile.

“Yes, Vlad, that was a joke. What were you muttering about?” She sat back down on the bed and pulled her boots on.

“I had video message, first full day of being here in Eldgard.” I painstakingly sat up, and put my legs over the bed. I collected my clothes from where I had laid them, and went to work putting them on.

“What’s a video?” Ina was still so full of innocence, there was so much that would break her heart on Earth. It was my turn to chuckle, and I did, though I regretted the decision.

“Is a repeat of something that you see. Is, ah, complicated to explain. You see something, and can see it again, same thing.” I had a really hard time explaining something entirely foreign.

“That’s really vague, but I kind of get it.” She literally popped off the bed, her feet physically left the ground. She was just as much of a morning person as Earth Ina was, and it irritated me just the same. “Well, let’s go get some food, eh? The day won’t wait for itself.” She stopped and looked at the ceiling for a moment, one finger on her chin. “Or maybe it will? Time is a fickle thing.” Before I could even protest, she had her hand on the door, and was opening it.

“Fine, yes, food, let’s go.” We left the room together, and headed into the common area where there was a line for breakfast. People were waiting patiently for the queue to move, it was really impressive. There were a pair of the village hunters watching to make sure nobody got out of control, which was probably a smart plan. Hungry people do silly things sometimes. We got in line to get our share, waiting only a few minutes, before finding an open spot on the floor.

“Nothing quite beats a good breakfast gruel.” Ina was already half-finished with her bowl of the slop-fused-with-old-eggs-and-runny-cereal that was sitting in front of me. I just stared at it with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not going to eat?” Ina leaned forward towards my face and started whispering, loudly. “I know it looks like rubbish, but it’s really quite good. Go on, give it a go.” She poked her wooden spoon at me like a sword. It was surprisingly intimidating.

“Fine, fine. Looks like horse fat with milk, blech.” I took a spoonful of it and hesitantly brought it to my lips. I took a deep breath and shoved it into my mouth. Shockingly, it was delicious. I ended up draining the bowl in minutes, and the Osmark nerd was right, I was feeling much better. The pain had started to subside, my thoughts were starting to clear, and I noticed one of the red markers that was annoyingly flashing in the corner of my vision had faded. I focused on the other one, which brought up a notification.

>>>

Current Debuff

Unwashed (Level 2): Goods and services cost 10% more; Merchant-craft skills reduced by (2) levels

>>>

I raised my arm and gave myself a sniff. Phew, I would not be doing that again. My face wrinkled of its own accord, which brought a ringing laugh out of Ina, who had a mouthful of food. That food was now all over the front of me, which made her laugh even more. I looked down and frowned hard. Ina’s laughter stopped and her smile started to fade. I realized then that I was ruining the fun. This world was meant to be a good time, and I was taking it too seriously. My face broke into a huge grin, and I let out an absurd laugh. Ina followed suit.

We both washed up in the village bath house, which was really just a room with a few buckets of water and a couple holes dug into the ground, and headed down to the main road. My attention was diverted by a loud argument, held by a small number of people standing about. One of them was the village elder who had welcomed us last night.

“We should see what’s going on, maybe we can help.” Ina was already in motion as I was opening my mouth to say something. Another check box on the Ina list, she was always trying to help everyone.

“It is their fault! They brought the villagers here, and now the bandits are after a blood price!” The young hunter from the night before, the grandson of the elder, was shouting.

“Grandson, these bandits will not come to our village.” The elder was calm, collected. Everything you would expect from a man used to directing people.

“They’re already on their way. Beldes was beaten pretty badly by a scout, who told him that they would be coming by the sun’s height.” A man, who I assumed was Beldes, sat on the ground not far away. His hunting leathers were torn, there were several places where blood was fresh on his clothes, and his bow and axe were nowhere to be seen. His face was mostly a swollen bruise, one of his eyes was forced shut by the swelling.

“That could be a problem, but we will persevere! We have survived bandit raids befo-ah, look now, here are the two who led those wonderful people here. Have you anything to say for yourself?” He turned to us just as we added ourselves to the circle of people. I raised a finger as I was about to speak, but Ina beat me to it.

“We will do whatever is necessary to prevent the bandits from destroying your homes. It is our fault, we will right it.” Her words had the force of a thousand kiloton bomb, it stopped the argument in its track.

“See, grandson? They will handle it.” The elder waved a hand, as though to say everything is fine now.

“How will you handle it? With you two, alone, against an entire battalion of armed renegades? They have bows, they have axes, they have armor and spells, and what do you have? Luck? Is there an invisible army somewhere that I can’t see?” He was obviously terrified, but was spouting off as though he was angry. Fear has a way of making even a powerful man whimper like a sodden puppy.

“We will make trap.” I spoke before Ina could respond.

“We will?” She faltered for a moment and gave me her best You’re Dead stare she could.

“Yes, but will need many supplies. How many fighters you have?” I hated this broken English, it made me sound like a buffoon.

“We have twent-well, nineteen. Beldes is really not up for combat.” The elder looked down at the poor man who was terribly injured.

“Will need metal, wood, springs if you have. Will take time, but can win.”

“Are you sure we can do this?” Ina asked in a low voice, her face a mask of solidity, hiding the fear inside.

>>>

Quest Alert: In the nick of Time

The elder of Cressfal village has requested that you handle the oncoming bandit attack, and the requisite defense of Cressfal, as it is ‘clearly’ your fault. Ina has offered to help you.

Quest Class: Rare, Unique

Quest Difficulty: Deadly

Success: The bandit war party retreats and the village of Cressfal is saved

Failure: More than 50% of the village hunters are killed before the bandits are destroyed and/or Cressfal village is overrun

Reward: 3,500 EXP; Potential to unlock a unique opportunity, considerable increase in reputation with both Cressfal and Val’Fore villagers

Accept: Yes/No?

>>>

I nodded my assent into the air as I selected yes, mentally and verbally.

“Will not be easy. You work with hunters, I will set up traps, barricades, other things. We make ambushes at proper places, create choke-point, yes? Then we crush.” I made several motions with my hands, ending it with smacking my fist into my palm. “Crush is good.”

Ina and I got to work. She made the hunters ready for the confrontation, and I headed off to gather supplies. The village elder directed me to the woodcutter’s home, where I found ample amounts of wooden planks, hundreds of crude nails, and a small stash of finer objects. Somehow, the woodcutter had amassed a wealth of engineering components.

“Was trying to build sawmill?” I wondered about his plans for the future, but he wasn’t around to ask. I set to work, preparing the bulwarks that would hopefully keep our own archers out of immediate arrow fire. I created choke points out of large wooden barricades, at the northern head of the village, and then again at the middle-point. Within those choke points, I constructed several spring loaded spike panels. The spikes were wooden dowels sharpened to a wicked point, but I didn’t have any steel available, and no smelter to work the metal into something useful.

“You’re really quite something,” a voice from behind me said, as I was tensing the spring on one of the last traps I had placed. It was Ina, she was still glistening in sweat from the sparring match with the hunters.

“Is what I do, make traps, build weapons.” I shrugged as I forced the panel into place, then secured the trip-wire made from fishing twine. I finished the trap by covering the line with some leaves - just enough to hide the wiring, but not enough to trigger it accidentally.

“Go over it with me, so I know where to be, and where not to be.” Ina was kneeling down on the ground now, looking at the trip-wire. It would definitely provide a nasty surprise for the bandits.

“We have choke point in northern entrance to village.” I grabbed a large stick I had been using to torque springs, and drew in the dirt of the walkway a few feet away. “You and hunters will draw enemy bandits here, and hopefully lead to trap.” I was hopeful, because nothing ever went exactly according to plan. I was concerned, because these were people we were dealing with, and people are chaos incarnate.

“Okay, what kind of traps?” Ina picked up a twig and tapped it against the ground.

“We have spike trap here, here, and here, also pitfall lined with spike here. Do not fall in, will not be fun.” I marked a series of x’s on the crude diagram. I then made another series of lines that looked like an inverted bottle-neck, where I had built barricades to drive the bandits down the main street. “I have special surprise at end of street if they make distance.” I drew a large angry face on the ground at the end of the street, where I had placed my hastily crafted catapult. It launched small boulders, and could potentially launch a human if necessary. I was praying it wouldn’t be.

“You’ve got all sorts of fun planned. How did you get all of this done so quickly?” Ina looked around and down the now-deserted main road, where the barricades were a wall of wood, with some spikes protruding at odd angles.

“Many villager offer to help, I give direction, they hammer nails. Is simple.” Another shrug from my shoulders, almost unbidden. There was a sudden chirping in my ear, it was gentle at first, but started to grow. While I was working on the traps, I stumbled upon the alarm clock feature built into the game’s interface. I set it for 15 minutes before we estimated the bandits would arrive. “Is show time. Get hunters, show them trip-wires, make combat line, and kill many bad people.” I nodded with ferocity, if one can put ferocity into a nod.

“You’re a mad genius, Vlad.” Ina clapped me on the shoulder and stood. She hesitated a moment before walking away.

“Everything is al-Mmmmf” I stood up while speaking, and Ina spun quickly, kissing me. I was taken aback, I had not expected such an expression of emotion. Her eyes glittered in the afternoon sun, they held so much back behind them, like an entire ocean of feelings dying to be set free. She stepped back after the kiss, her face red with a sheepish smile on her lips.

“That’s for luck, and safety.” Ina tossed me a sly wink as she trotted off towards the gathering hunters.

“Is for luck…” I said to myself, the air the only witness to my experience, as my jaw hung slack, the absolute shock of the situation still evident on my face and in my head.

Unfortunately, the time I had to enjoy my moment was ripped from me too quickly as I heard the sounds of shouting from the North. The bandits had arrived, the fight had begun.