《How Not to Use Magic》Monster
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Pat was extremely confused as to why Nick was stomping up to him, murder lurking in his eyes. That was, until he saw what exactly the talisman he clenched was.
It was a scent talisman, his talisman. It was used officially by soldiers and adventurers on stealth missions, to hide their presence. Illegally it was used by criminals to disappear, to fall off the face of the earth. Humans used it to survive, they didn't have the knowledge of enchanting to completely hide their scents with it. Though the power they could imbue into it was enough to hide their humanity from Ferins. Without it many would not last through to adulthood...
While it wasn't technically illegal, the guards would often take the talismans to... inspect them. For contraband, obviously, it was a mere coincidence that they got lost.
So all the public saw when viewing a scent talisman was a lying human, not much different from how they already saw his kind.
Pat was on red alert suddenly, because he'd just remembered what "Ethan" had said in his mind. Nick apparently hated humans, and Pat was defenseless. Of course this would happen to him, his mind demon literally called it.
Nick reached Pat in 4 pissed off strides, before he slammed the talisman into his chest with just enough force to not break anything but to knock the wind out of him. It was sadistically precise, to apply just enough force to hurt like a bitch without "accidentally" breaking a bone. This is what he had to face, not just a brute, a smart one.
The time for breaking bones was soon though, as Nick ripped Patrick from his seat and slammed him against a wall. Everyone else could only watch in horror because as someone (Patrick was a little busy trying to not get crushed to see who.) tried to step forward, Nick growled at them. "Ethan" did say Nick was a shifter, how... stereotypical.
Shifters were the jocks of the Ferin world, smug assholes who think sports and being able to turn into an animal were personality traits. Unfortunately for humans, they were big and strong enough to do stuff like... well... this.
Pat was so confused, was his existence really this much of a sin? Did he truly deserve this for existing?
Perhaps that's not the right question, maybe the question is if Nick thinks Patrick's existence is a sin. Pat already knew the answer to that, it was apparently a big, fat yes.
The next question is how did he escape? He thought back to the last time this had happened, back in middle school. Well, if you can call kids sitting in a circle while Fara taught them how not to die; middle school.
Those too were part of the lessons, his parents couldn't teach everything. Some had to be learned from a teacher... and experience. Fara tried her best to protect them but Ferins could go wherever while humans were (mostly) confined to the Nairiq district. Not exactly much place to hide when Ferins can literally barge into your home for no reason. But that was then, and this is now.
There's no time to get stuck in your own head, save the quirky character trait for later.
The boy had also slammed-
"Fucking look at me, asshole." Nick really had a way with words, so creative, so unique.
Pat couldn't look at the boy, because if he did he'd most likely collapse under the pressure emanating from Nick. He didn't have the time to break down and whine about how much his life sucked, he had to survive.
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The boy had also slammed Pat into a wall for the crime existing, and wanted Pat to look at him as he screamed insults and obscenities. He'd grabbed his chin-
Nick had gotten sick of waiting and forced his chin up, he wanted Pat to look into his rage-filled eyes.
-and told him how much he hated humans, then-
"I hate trash like you, why couldn't you freaks just die already, the world would be so much better."
-gave some bullshit excuse as to why they hated Pat's kind...
"You take up all the land, with your slums" They'd talk about us taking up the land they forced us into. Humans never wanted the district, but that was the only place they were "graciously" given.
"You leech off all the rest of us, you contribute nothing to no one," As if Nick wasn't a privileged Ferin kid who'd never have to work a day in his life if he wanted. As if having old money was contributing anything.
"you should just go back to where you belong." They talk as if we could leave if we wanted to. They speak like there was another place to go.
After the excuses, came the pain.
And that's when Pat got away, after they got frustrated enough to throw a punch. When they got tired of Pat not reacting, 'cuz what fun is this if the human just sits there, right?
As they readied their fist, Pat had-
"Nick..."
That's all how it went... unless something changed.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
***
No, that wasn't right, Eliza knew exactly what he was doing... Nick was having a tantrum, and finally a human had gotten in his way.
In all honesty she feared him, she feared that her wrist might never heal. She was terrified that this dread she was feeling would always be there. She laid in bed at night wondering if one day she'd come home one day to find that all of her friends were dead because of Nick. She wouldn't let this slide, Eliza had to bring about justice. If she didn't then she didn't deserve to have her friends, if she refused to protect them.
Nick turned around and grinned. That pissed her off more then words could describe. It was the same look he'd given her when he convinced her to go cliff jumping with him. The same smirk that led her to following his plan in capture the flag (and losing horribly). It was the same fucking grin he'd always give her when he needed a wingwoman. Like how just 45 minutes earlier he begged her to help him score with the same boy he now slammed into a wall, which he'd need to pay to fix.
"What does it look like I'm doin'? I'm taking out the trash, I mean, we didn't even invite him." That was a stupid excuse at best. The way he said trash made his face 100 times more punchable. How do you go from being a terrifying beast, to a entitled oaf? She almost wanted to ask, but she kept her mouth shut. This wasn't about her, after all. It was about all of these people here, her friends, the human.
"A-actually I... I kinda invited the whole class..." Jack, you sweet, lovable idiot. Please stop talking. He wasn't wrong, the whole grade was invited, but... stop.
"Well, obviously he ain't invited anymore right? ...right, Jacky?" If Nick didn't shut up, Eliza would actually punch him, he was a easy target, what with the kid.
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She glanced at the human, he was his type. If only Nick wasn't a raging asshole.
He didn't seem like this awful piece of garbage, they just seemed like... a kid. He reminded her of those first year brats she tutored, they were always so eager to please. This kid, Patrick, seemed the same. Just a normal little brat who, with enough time, probably would dig into her heart like all the other losers she hung with did.
She could almost imagine it, imagine a better world.
Maybe they'd be friends with Ben, while Ethan got all rude yet still overly protective. Jack would gush about his stupid garden, shoving some new odd, yet beautiful flower in their faces. Nick would flirt and joke, nothing new. Zane would joke and laugh and start with his stupid games. She laughed mentally, for all those muscles, the dueling team were a bunch of puppy dogs... at least... most of them are.
But that wasn't reality, the truth was she couldn't be friends with both Nick and Patrick. She couldn't stop Jack from breaking down in his room after Nick stomped off, defensive because Jack had been worried. Jack had wanted to talk about these "outbursts" of his, and Nick had instantly checked out.
She knew that their little group had been falling apart, she didn't know how to stop it.
Maybe that was why Eliza suggested this party, she... just wanted her friends back. She only wanted everyone to be happy... but all she did was make everything worse.
Ben and Jack were at their limits, emotionally. Ethan was... she glanced towards the form of her...friend? She heard groans. He turned out to be a bitch. Zane stopped being all smiley, a travesty, he'd always had the cutest smirk.
And Nick... these were becoming more frequent, and he was in denial. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine, when it couldn't be further.
Eliza loved her friends, that's why she had to do this. She had to make the hard decisions, so her gang of puppy dogs didn't have to. So she didn't have to lay awake at night listening to her best friend sobbing into his pillow. Eliza couldn't spend her time in her fantasies anymore.
"Well... I...."
"Right, he ain't, so I'm just gonna-" She hated the way his accent came out when he was emotional, it came with too many memories. It came with a sweet boy who had protected her from bullies, who had wanted the best for everyone. He'd even wanted to help humans, before his parents got to him... But his parents hadn't made him slam a boy into a wall for the crime of humanity, it hadn't made him scare Jack, or hurt her.
He did those things, so he needed a wake up call. She did this, in part, for that boy she'd loved.
"Nick... get out." Everyone, even the kid, stared at Eliza. Different emotions playing out on their faces, ranging from shock from the kid, to relief from Jack, pride from Ben, and outrage from Nick.
Nick was so mad and shocked that he forgot about Patrick and dropped them. The kid looked at Eliza with gratitude. They looked at Jack, then Ben, then even Ethan, before they could look at Nick. Emotions rushed through his eyes faster then Eliza could keep track of, but she saw regret... no, she saw fear.
Not just for Nick, they feared all of them... all of them.
Once again, Nick had broken something he wasn't meant to. The boy escaped, without that amulet she could smell the adrenaline coursing through him. She knew Nick could too, but he'd lost interest. All he could do now was stare bewilderedly at Eliza.
"What!?" He sounded confused, like it was such a shock to have consequences. "You can't just-"
"I can, and I will. Get out." She needed to do this fast before she crumpled, before the urge to protect driving her forth was overtaken by the pain and heartache.
"No, you know how this works, everyone has to agree. Well... Ben?" He had always been this stubborn, this was the only way he might go.
Ben stared, emotions also flickered in his eyes but the main one was horror. He looked to Ethan, then looked to the spot where the human had been. He probably blamed himself, just like she did. Eliza wondered if the same thought went through all of the present (and conscious... and not Nick) council members heads;
"Did we turn him into this?"
Ben continued to stare where the human had been before they escaped. His eyes hardened, the quaking stilled for a second.
"Nick..." Ben's voice began to crumble to dust halfway through "you... need to leave" he choked out, and immediately looked away. He seemingly couldn't bear the weight of Nick's stare, which held only shock.
He seemed to have spent all his anger, leaving only...
"Sarah?"
What was the emotion that bled into his features?
"Nick, please... just go." She also looked away, trying to hide the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
This cold intensity it displayed... it was...
"Et-" Instinct drove Nick to ask, to look to his friend. He stared at Ethan, having cooled off enough to realize the gravity of his actions. Something inside Nick broke, and Eliza knew what the emotion was...
Desperation was a pitiful look on Nicholas Saetari.
It came not in sobs and wails, but in a somber, pitiful whisper that asked;
"Jacky?"
***
Jack looked for anyone else he might be referring to, anyone else. But that hope was dashed when he was faced with Nick's tearful gaze, it was the desperate look of a child.
How he wanted to tell him to stay, to reassure him that everything was all right. He so wanted to reach out and find not the angry, sharp boy that overtook his friend. He wanted the real Nick back.
Jack couldn't bring himself to hate Nick. This feeling couldn't be hate, because hatred couldn't possibly make him this miserable.
He had to end this, so he could bring the real Nick back. They had all let this beast go without consequence, and this is what developed.
"Nick, I need you to go."
***
Nick had the "decency" to not cause anymore of a scene, he simply nodded.
"Well... I...." Nick didn't know what else to say, perhaps there was nothing left to say.
Nick couldn't help but feel abandoned, perhaps he really was an entitled brat. He ruins everything and everyone around him then has the audacity to have a pity party.
The message hidden in their faces was clear, and it was the same message they had tried telling him so many times. How pathetic it took abandonment to get it.
Nick needed help.
Serious, professional help.
He knew that, but as he stumbled past the wall and friend he destroyed, out of the house he shouldn't have came to... he went home, for once.
Like the spoiled idiot Nick was, he went crying for his parents. He glanced back to the house, he could still smell the beer and hormones, but also a deep sadness. He'd ruined everything... Funny, he always said he'd never turn into his father.
***
Pat was good at running from his problems, quite literally in this case.
But it wasn't just the monsters he'd have to face in a few weeks he ran from, it was anyone and everyone.
Pat barely remembered the Nexus, it all blurred together. Suspicious shopkeepers with their distrustful gazes, parents holding their children a bit tighter as if the raggedy boy before them could harm anyone before the guards severed his head.
Pat could vaguely recall that man from before, sensing Pat's distress, trying to pry tonight's secrets out of him. Patrick ran past the checkpoint the moment he was allowed to.
Fara easily let him pass, but gave another one of those stupid looks, like they're trying to read your mind.
He sprinted past Zara, the baker's daughter... She always had flour in her hair and a new sweet concoction to brag about. Patrick had a baking "rivalry" with her, but they still sat together and ate frosting by the spoonful once it was all over (they always conveniently tied).
She tried to stop him, to ask why fear flooded out of his aura and he looked like he'd been someone's punching bag for the night.
Patrick didn't stop.
Next he ran past Ryan, who looked more Ferin then Human. He stood at 6'2 and looked like he could crush steel with his bare hands. Ryan was practically the guard of the human district and took pride in it.
He was good at his job too, the sword was admittedly cool but not necessary. Pat had always asked where his large friend had gotten it, but they'd always just smiled at Pat.
Despite being the intimidating warrior, Ryan always took a special interest in keeping Patrick from harm. Except when he didn't, but that, like everything else, was Pat's fault.
Perhaps that's why he worriedly reached out for Pat, maybe Ryan didn't like his friends to be upset. Or maybe he still wanted that talk, he had seemed pretty adamant about it.
He even caught Patrick, but it wasn't enough. He slipped out from Ryan's usually unbreakable grip and ran harder, faster. Ryan was probably used to this, Pat always ran away from difficult things. Pat ran so fast that he didn't even wonder how he got away from Ryan.
Now? The difficult thing was "friends".
Pat didn't deserve them, he didn't want to eventually disappoint them. Zara and Ryan were much too good to be his friends, no matter how much they denied being superior to Patrick.
Zara had always held back in their little competitions, he'd never catch up. Anything he could do, she could do it easier, faster, and better.
Ryan would always have to protect Patrick, because he couldn't protect himself. Ryan would dutifully guard Patrick, and likely would grow to like it... too close, Pat.
Pat didn't want to keep Ryan trapped like that, nor Zara for that matter. Despite the competitions and the protection and the "fees", Pat didn't want to get too close to them.
He kept his distance, he only came close because they wouldn't let him be a stranger.
He couldn't keep his friends without hurting them, so he just lets them go from the start. He wouldn't win the fight to stop them from leaving, so why try? After all, who'd want to stay by him?
"Garbage."
"Weak."
"Disgusting."
He ran home, where he didn't have to face them.
He ran to the kitchen and opened the cabinets, He'd always had baking ingredients on hand.
Patrick would bake a pie. Apple pie.
Baking had always calmed him down as long as he didn't think about who taught him for too long. It was his escape, it was simple. There were rules to baking, and he knew how not to get hurt.
The rules didn't change or get more nuanced as he grew and understood more... they were constant and unyielding, they wouldn't die on you when you needed them.
After preheating the oven (it took a while, most just used fire magic) he'd make the dough.
He knew how to do this, there weren't any strong, kind, attractive warriors to mess with his head. Ryan never saw Pat bake, which was a relief. Ryan, like Papa, filled the room. If he were here, there wouldn't be enough space. With Ryan, It took him mere minutes to become too close in every sense of the word.
Pat took 3 parts flour to 2 parts of his butter to 1 parts oil. It was a simple dough, with no humiliating games that made him get drunk for the first time. He wondered if he was still drunk, he barely knew how alcohol worked, after all. Much less the magic stuff.
He rolled it out, and then started on the filling. He peeled, cored, and sliced the apples. It was so easy it hurt, but not the same hurt as when a monster forced itself into his mind. Pat couldn't see that thing as Ethan, they were too different. Pat got... a different feeling from the Monster.
It was like Pat and his own Mind Demon, if he accepted the demon as him then he had to face it. That was why he refused to listen to the demon, to let them comfort Pat.
It was just another friend he couldn't get too close to, or a part of himself he didn't want to accept.
He added tapioca, sugar, salt and his spices; nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon. Afterwards he let the filling sit and began kneading the dough.
He tried not to think about the ocean-eyed man who taught him this recipe. Patrick tried so hard not to think about his scratchy beard and warm hugs.
They didn't talk about Papa much, and for good reason. Dad still cried at the mention of his late husband.
Papa had been like Pat's dashing warrior in a lot of ways, they both looked scarily like Ferins if you didn't look too closely.
They both were funny, and sweet, and way too touchy for their own good (Pat probably had bruises from all the times Ryan had squeezed too hard).
There were more, gods there was so much more...
But Patrick didn't need anymore salt for this pie.
He needed to put the dough in the tin and and poured the filling inside, by now the oven announced it was done preheating.
Pat didn't want the memories to come back. He couldn't face the truth, because that'd make it real.
Patrick really was just a shambling mess of insecurities, secrets, and cowardice.
He set a timer for 55 minutes, and pushed everything out. All the mess, all the scary things, all the whispers of a flour covered girl who'd challenged Pat to make this dough faster then her. He collapsed, he finally could afford to stop.
Though he really didn't want to, stopping meant confronting what happened today, and all the other days.
Was life supposed to be this overwhelming? Was Patrick meant to always feel like he was dying? Why couldn't things just be easy for a day.
There was a reason he went to that party...
He wanted to escape from his own head.
He curled into himself, shaking.
I need to sort these messes out, before I have to face those people again.
Tomorrow he'd try and fix this.
***
The little ones started to come soon after, drawn to his emotions.
They were little glowing puff balls that were warm and soft. He didn't know what they were, and by the time they found him: he never could gather the energy to care.
They covered his body, trying to lull him to sleep. He needed to sleep, this had been an "eventful" day.
He went to bed for the first time in the last 2 days, covered by a blanket of magic cotton balls.
***
Everyone was still tired and scared. Thank the Gods Nick had left quietly, but this awful night wasn't over yet.
Jack had ordered a meeting, they needed to talk about this. They just so happened to forgot to call Nick.
Eliza texted Zane, he hadn't come this time, probably for the better. The student council (excluding Nick, for obvious reasons) had all experienced Nick when he had his tantrums.
They all knew that this might come, where they had to kick him out. Of course, they never dared to believe it, but it came. It came in those anxious whispers in the middle of the night. In the suffocating depths of fear...
That's why it was relatively easy to type in the code word they all knew. Something awful happened, and action must be taken...
Justice must be wrought.
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