I've come to realize that maybe my situation is not as simple as I originally thought. Although I did start, or rather, chose to act like an immature child without knowing a lot about the world, it seems that the facade would not work for them anymore.

The trip back home was silent. After the teasing, things eventually died down and I was able to stay awake throughout the trip as mother was kind enough to bless me with a [Stamina Boost]. I then saw the sights as the [Automo] passed through the roads. seeing and experiencing for the first time the outskirts of civilization. The most notable of things I've seen were the weird-looking plants. Unfortunately, I was not able to see any other non-human creature or animal. In fact, I didn't even see any bird-like creatures in town now that I think about it. No pets. No strays. Although there was meat served in the inn, I didn't really know what kind of meat they were. Also, I did not witness or see any insects as well, in fact, all throughout my entire experience in living here. Is there even such a thing as an ecosystem here?

We eventually arrived back home and the first thing that greeted us was Rael running towards father, then followed by Fon who merely welcomed us calmly by the front door. I feel more at peace, knowing that I'm back in the village, away from that suffocating town. However, this ukulele, or rather known here as [Minitar], in my hands right now is like a constant reminder that I will have to go back there once again. However, the bright side of all this is that at least I have a new method of recreation. Playing with toys has been getting dull and monotonous, and I don't expect myself being very fond of reading books all the time. Appreciating the instrument that was supposedly lent to me, I strummed the strings of the ukulele, attracting the attention of both my brothers. Fon looked uninterested, but I could see the curious gaze of Rael as he started to approach me.

"What's that?"

"It's a [Minitar], a new friend of Alkef lent it to him. A girl friend.", Father decided to explain.

From the door, I could hear Fon control his laughter a bit but then I could see that Rael seemed disappointed.

"Big Sister Talia once said that I shouldn't borrow things without the owner's permission... Who lent it to you?"

"A red-haired girl named Vanessa.", I replied.

"Then, I'll ask permission from her if I have a chance."

Rael then rushed back inside the house, which also prompted the rest of us to go inside as well.

After freshening up with a bath, both father and mother then decided to call all three of us to the living room. The mood felt so tense and as I guessed correctly, the reason for this was so that they could talk about what happened back in town and the results of the examination. The only one who was surprised was Fon, while Rael didn't seem to understand what it all meant. As he is only five years old and is legitimately a child in mind and body, I can understand his inability to see the bigger picture.

Fon on the other hand stared at me for a while and I only looked back at him through my peripheral view. I could see his astonished face and his eyes filled with confusion, surprise, disbelief, and, somehow, worry. Why would he be worried? I don't know. Eventually, the family meeting was adjourned and we proceeded to have dinner. After dinner was over, I and Rael were made to go to bed early, since Fon requested to have a private talk with mother and father. Although I wanted to eavesdrop as I know that the possibility of the discussion being about me was almost certain, the tempting calls of my bed, asking me to lay down on it, was something I could not endure.

That morning everything seemed normal. However, only a child couldn't tell that something was amiss. Although I could see the smiles of my parents and Fon as their usual, they were definitely hiding something from me. I could feel their worry. Maybe I should've tried to eavesdrop and maybe I was capable of doing so. Maybe I was feeling tired because [The True Pacifist] corrected me so that I would feel tired. Honestly, I still don't understand how this [Blessing] works, but it's definitely not something I consider as favorable for me. I'll be patient for now, as today and the foreseeable future, I'll be devoting myself to reading.

{A few weeks later}

There were a lot of useless books in the study room. Other than history books, some old grammar and language books that were previously owned by Fon, other educational books like etiquette and arithmetics, the rest were just trash. Since this was a fantasy world, I at least expected some magic books here, but there was not a single thing. Most of the books there were novels and short storybooks. I'm already living in a real fictional world, I don't need to engross myself in written fiction! I'd experience the fiction firsthand now if I could!

While I was reading the useful books I found in the living room, I got to know my family further. I found out that my father actually works as a trainer for beginner adventures. He would be hired by neighboring villages to train aspiring adventurers for at least two weeks or more to prepare them for when they are old enough to become legitimate ones.

When I asked father and mother to further explain what adventurers do, they said that they do odd jobs, freelance work that no one takes, as well as do monster extermination. Listening to that, I definitely don't want to become an adventurer as well. I'd prefer being a priest than being an adventurer, that's for sure.

As for my mother, she apparently helps with the gardening of other households. To be precise, she guides other families on how to grow their own gardens and uncovers the reasons behind the problems in those gardens. She also works as a priestess sometimes, healing other's wounds with her arcana, [Mend], or assisting childbirth with [Stabilize]. Although childbirth can still be successful without it, it greatly reduces the risk of either the child or mother suffering from it.

I further discovered that Fon and Rael go to school in another neighboring village, but they only go to school three times a week, so they either go with father to see how the adventurer training goes or just stay at home when it isn't a school day.

And about Gengro Village, apparently, this was a frontier village that was starting to stabilize. A lot of the families living here are actually knowledgeable of particular skills or expertise, which was apparently the requirement for being able to build a house here. As an example, our next-door neighbor, Mr. Trokta was a skilled hunter, and his wife, Mrs. Trokta, was a teacher of general education at the neighboring village's school where Fon and Rael attend to.

I'm starting to feel a lot more confident as I'm learning more and more about not only the world but also about the community around me. Slowly but surely, I'm starting to have a better grasp of my situation. However, no matter how much I read, I still haven't fully understood what my first [Blessing], [The True Pacifict] was capable of. Throughout these past few weeks, there was no instance of me losing control of my body. However, I felt that unconsciously, I would act more meek and timid than usual. Is this what I think it is? Am I being conditioned? Is the fear of losing control of my body again also changing the way how I act or am I actually have lost control of my body and I just got used with the sensation of it after drowning myself in reading for so long. No harm in testing it out.

Right now, only Rael, mother, and I were inside the house. I requested if I, alongside Rael, could play outside, much to the surprise and joy of Rael. After mother advised Rael of what he must do as the older brother, she blessed me with [Stamina Boost] and we head outside the garden. I actually brought the ukulele with me.

This is now the very first time I went outside without parental supervision. I actually thought that mother wouldn't allow me, but since she already knows the cause of my physical problems, she might be less worried now that something wrong may happen to me. I don't want to die early due to some unforeseen accident caused by my spontaneous collapsing, so as I and Rael left the house, he dashed towards a group of kids playing outside while I stayed behind. Since I'm now on my own, I might just try surveying the vicinity around my house.

Other than various houses, there isn't anything noteworthy to observe here. I can at least see the boundaries that separate the village from the outside. There is a large wall of logs, probably twice as tall as father, that was surrounding the village. Maybe this was so that there wouldn't be any monster or creatures that could infiltrate the village. I wonder how they'll be able to handle flying ones then? I'm sure there are monsters like those, although I haven't read a single thing about them since there weren't any books inside the house that teaches things about monsters.

Just wanting to feel the breeze outside, I tried to find a big tree to sit under that could also shade from the sun. I then found the perfect one, situated somewhat far from the field where Rael and the other kids are playing in. Honestly, I feel like there should be a playground here, but I guess Tyrian the Innovator is too busy counterfeiting other inventions and claiming them as his own.

I sat down on the soft grass underneath the tree's shade. This is definitely the perfect place to just relax. This may be my old man habits resurfacing, but I do remember always doing this when I went for walks. However, right now I have a ukulele with me, which was the only thing different. This instrument isn't really new for me as I did play the guitar for a while from when I was young until I was an old man back then. Unfortunately, I stopped when eventually a string broke that one time and I just couldn't be bothered to get it fixed.

Now that I think about it, the moment I started planning to turn myself in was the day a string in my favorite guitar snapped. My wrinkled hands were so gentle in handling it and yet the string still broke. I realized back then that I was dying, maybe just like the guitar. That each string left was akin to the last strands of my life. Since then, I made my resolve. That instead of waiting for the day the last string breaks, I'll just break them all simultaneously. That I'd die in the way I choose to.

Reminding myself of the last moments of my life once more, my hands started to move on its own. As if retrieving a memory I've long forgotten. I closed my eyes and started to play my favorite song.

... (https://streamable.com/io1qrj)

After I was done, I realized that the only thing I could hear was the sound of the breeze. The sounds of laughter, talking, and movement have all stopped. Opening my eyes, I saw that the kids were no longer playing with each other but rather watching me with awe-filled eyes. Rael decided to approach me as he distanced himself from the crowd of children.

"Alkef, what was that song?"

I thought that I was at least far enough that only I could hear the song I was playing, but it seemed that the ears of distracted children are much sharper that I thought. Shouldn't this be considered an action that required 'correction' by my [Blessings] as it was sort of out of place? Why only now did it decide to let me do as I wish?

As I had no other way to respond to him, I had to resort to the only thing I am known to do. I smiled at him, and then suddenly faked my collapse. Apparently, I was allowed to do this as well as I did not undergo a corrective action. Maybe this was the best response to the situation.

Immediately, I heard the gasp of some children and someone attempting to hold me up. Then I heard someone running away. That may be Rael going back to the house to inform Mother. Now, while I'm supposedly unconscious, it's time for me to come up with an excuse.