《Ringmaster's Ambition》Chapter 3: Complaints

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I'm now three years old. I am currently in my room sitting on the floor while playing with some blocks. Such a thing, I believe, is the typical routine of an infant. I would browse the entire room from time to time seemingly like I am unendingly captivated by what the room has to offer. That's how I remember my niece would do when I had to babysit her while she was an infant.

An old bed with slightly worn-out sheets. A box full of old and used toys. A cabinet that I can't clearly reach the handles to. A window that is too high for me to see through other than when I am standing on my bed(even the stool doesn't help). And a long mirror which reflects my brown-haired, brown-eyed infant self. This was how simple my room was. It was also slightly dim and the only thing supporting my sight was the light coming from the window. Looking at how this room is, it probably isn't a room meant for an infant like me, or more precisely it's supposed to be not my room at all. Although I appreciate the fact that I no longer have to stay in my parents, the least they could do babyproof the room. Which makes me wonder whether my birth was planned or not.

I don't really mind all these. The problem, however, is... more precisely, the problems are...

Two years. I had to continue acting like a brainless infant for two years. My first problem was my senses. My sight is immature and I could not speak properly. The language was also a problem so I couldn't understand anything. I did travel the world in my past life but I never really bothered trying to learn a new language. When my eyesight cleared, I at least managed to learn certain clues and names of objects when they are pointing it at me or when I point at it.

Another problem is my form of sustenance. Initially, it was breast-milk and it tasted really weird. I had to endure consuming it for almost a year so that I would have at least consumed something that would keep me alive. When my teeth started to grow, I would refuse drinking from her breasts and they eventually tried to feed me with some mashed fruit or vegetable(although I don't really know what they are since their taste was rather unfamiliar). I gladly accepted them. Honestly, this is a problem of having an adult's mind at such an early stage in life. I would search for things I can't consume and like to do things I can't do. Now I remember why I always wanted to grow up so fast when I was young back then!

Thinking about it, to drink from another human is akin to cannibalism, right? Such as how a child is to gain sustenance from his mother's milk which is from a similar species, a cannibal would of course obtain sustenance from the meat of its own species. Out of all the things that we consume that is currently produced by another human being, only milk is considered allowable while the rest aren't. So what's so different of consuming human meat from consuming human milk? Isn't it the same as consuming beef and drinking cow milk? At a young age, children are already exposed to the experience of cannibalism! And yet people seem to dictate it as some sort of evil. Back in my previous life, I have tried to eat human meat but I dislike the taste. I wonder how occasional cannibals do it? Is it just an acquired taste or just something satisfactory for them?

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I may indeed be an insane serial killer in my past life, but I also have standards!

At around the age of two, I can ask for things and get a response. Hand gestures like pointing at things and facial actions like nodding have been a great help in determining the things I want or curious about. At least the physical gestures are common, no matter the world you live in. The words used to identify things as well as the common words used in a sentence as a response have been rather helpful. And with that, there was a word that I keep on hearing that it felt like I was conditioned to respond to it. Alkef.

I decided to ask.

"What is Alkef?"

And the woman smiled and points at me. Ah, so this is my name. Although I am no longer that attached to names when I found out that I had many lives prior compared to the last one I remember. It seems that the naming sense in this world is rather different. 'Alkef' might have some meaning in this world's language.

Occasionally, I would see a tall male looking after me or a young man. The tall man might be my father. He would always talk to me when he is taking care of me but I do not understand anything. Other than the occasional common word equivalents like 'the', 'it', 'you', and some words that seem to be similar to linking verbs, I do not understand most of what he says!

The young man, on the other hand, would look at me as if he expects something from me every time he takes care of me. He is probably my brother. He would make annoying faces that are supposed to elicit laughter from a small child. Too bad for you, I am not a child. Physically sure, but not mentally.

"Do not expect laughter from me", I said to him one time while he was staring at me while making those faces. Of course, he wouldn't understand that since the words that come out of my mouth seem to not be completely fluent. Or rather, of course he wouldn't understand me because I was using the English language. So, with my attempts of telling him my distaste for his actions as well as all my complaints, I continue to talk to him in English. It is the least I could do so that I don't become bored, or worse, insane. All I do during the early stages of my infancy was to eat and sleep. I was starting to wonder whether being reincarnated with one's memories intact is really a blessing or a curse in disguise. The agony of reliving the stages of infancy does not only drain me physically due to my undeveloped body but has also has been taking a toll on my sanity. It's a good thing I am already insane(based on normal standards), but I might become crazier if this keeps up

I would also see a much younger male looking at me. He would just stare at me and I, in turn, would stare at him. Is he trying to issue a staring contest with an infant? No matter, this is how I lived my life during the first two years after reincarnation.

No one usually comes to my room except when it's time to eat. I would be picked up and eat whatever kind of smashed vegetable that would be fed to me. My siblings would sometimes visit me and try to play with me but I ignore them most of the time and just continue playing with a toy. Some would give up like my eldest brother but the younger brother also picks up some toys and play them with me. I don't mind as long as he doesn't pick me up from where I sit, and when he does try, I'd do what any infant would do and throw a tantrum.

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When I reached three, I was assigned a tutor temporarily, and by temporary, it was only for two weeks. His name was Naiton. With his guidance, I eventually learned this world's sorry excuse of an alphabet and how to speak fluently. It was not an easy feat especially if you have already accustomed yourself with another language for countless years. You end up having to base your learning of a new language based on the one you already know. It took a while but I eventually managed to learn how to write and speak since that's the only thing that I could do as I get tired too quickly when I wish to take a stroll. Due to an almost abysmal amount of stamina, I was usually confined in my room.

Eventually, I stopped getting so tired as often, and thus I finally succeeded in examining all the rooms of the house. The house that I currently live in is actually a decent house with lots of rooms. There are at least 13 rooms, 7 of those don't have beds in them; however, only 5 people are staying in the house. My parents occupy one room, my two brothers have their own separate rooms and my own room. Yet there are 6 living quarters so I do not know who was supposed to be staying in the unoccupied one; probably a guest room.

All other rooms are the study which was filled with books, the kitchen, the two bathrooms, the storage, the living and dining room which is just one room, and a locked room. I wish to at least see what's inside the locked room but it seems that it is heavily padlocked. The number of locks it has is equal to the number of living quarters in this house which was the first thing that came to my mind.

The reason I did all this was so that I could discern the technological level of this world. In my own opinion, I'm quite confused. It's supposed to be a fantasy world, but there are a lot of mismatched technologies mixed in. I expected cooking with firewood, oh look they actually have something that looks like a stove. Realizing this, I expected lightbulbs but all they're using are candles, that for some reason, don't melt. Looking through my windows, I'd see what seems to be slow cars passing by, but they seem rather lightweight as they look as if they are made out of wood. I expected a faucet at least, but unfortunately, all they ever use are buckets of water, but for some reason, they have a toilet!? This world confuses me! Or maybe it's this house that's just strange! It's like, some modern man decided to time travel and introduce the medieval ages to modern technology. Looking at my family's attire, I at least expected and prepared myself to live like a peasant, but all I got was quasi-peasant-larping!

Well, at least I learned the individual names of each of my family members. More specifically, the Asketon family.

My mother, Shila.

My father, Norford.

My eldest brother, Norfon. Nicknamed Fon.

My older brother, Rael.

I noticed in the family pictures that I was supposed to have two other female siblings. However, I have not seen them in the house. It seemed rather strange but I assume they are dead; was what I initially thought. After a bit of inquiry, they are actually staying in the dormitories of an institution they are attending. How prestigious!

Enough with the matters of my house however as I must focus on a much more pressing manner. My stamina is abnormally small. This indoor exploration has taken me months to finish since I would always collapse in exhaustion when I walk for just a short while. My family is not aware of this since I mostly do my explorations at night when everyone was sleeping. Due to the weakening of my legs, I would always have to crawl my way back to my room.

This is so strange and frustrating! Is this the curse that damned being had mentioned!? Am I doomed to stay indoors for the rest of my life!?

I decided to bring this matter to my parents, and the best moment to bring this up is during mealtime with the entire family. Mom was still busy in the kitchen, and everyone else was sitting beside the dining table, waiting for dinner. Wanting to break the silence, I brought up my current issues.

"You said that for some reason you get tired easily? Isn't it because you always stay in your room and don't bother to go outside?"

'I would like to go outside if I was actually capable of doing it, you idiot!' was what I wanted to say but I must at least be polite to the entire family. I don't want to jeopardize my camouflage.

"Not actually father, I want to go outside of my room but walking for a certain amount of time has been very hard for me. My legs would give in and I would have to crawl back to my room every time"

"But aren't you able to get to the dining room without a problem?"

I sighed and pointed at my room was very near the entrance of the dining room and living room.

"Uh huh, maybe you just need a bit of exercise"

"I don't think that's going to work"

Norfon decided to jump into the conversation.

"I've actually seen him crawling while dragging his feet back to his room at night a number of times and thought he was playing some sort of game so I didn't bother to take note of it"

So you knew!? Aren't you some kind of sick bastard just watching a small child struggle!?

I decide to hide my retort and watch the old man's expression.

"Alkef, what were you doing crawling late at night?"

"The bathroom; but every time I finish and go back to my room, my feet would give in"

My father then started to frown

"This seems like a serious matter. I'll have to discuss this to your mother and we will send you to a priest to have you examined"

"A priest? Why not a doctor?"

"Doctor? What is that? Some kind of food?", Rael decided to ask as he looked at me in confusion.

"Huh?"

Although I may have expected Rael to not know what a doctor is, a similar look of confusion surfaced from both my father and Fon. I thought they were joking or making fun of me, but that's when I learned that this world did not have any medical practitioners. From then on, I started to further appreciate the efforts of this mother of mine who gave birth to me.

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