《I'm Guilty, My Beauty》Try Losing Those Baby Fats

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Life was good while she was staying with her grandparents. They doted on her and made her visit places. Every day in a week, their schedule was full.

As a foodie and 'wannabe chef', food stalls and bookstores were not missed. Even a small stall selling some old and second-hand books were noticed. Their busy schedule took so much of her time that when they were back home she would fall asleep right away. She even forgot her closed laptop and a folder full of her drawings and recipes on the study table near her bed.

The week ended and her grandparents' schedules went back to their normal routine but still took care of her to make sure she was in good mood every day.

As days went by she slowly went back to her ’unremarkable’ life with not many mishaps. She remembered her laptop that was a gift from her eldest brother, Sean Ferol, who was working for a big company in Manila. She loved this supportive brother of hers. He found joy in making computerized toys. She remembered her first gift from him when he got his job, a flying mechanical bird that sings a lullaby when you scratch its head. This brother was the one who encouraged her to try her skills for her to start her career path.

There were only the two of them, their parents decided on this after she was born. Two children, a boy, and a girl, with five years gap in age, were good enough for them.

He sent emails almost every day but was unread. She felt guilty after seeing how many emails he sent. She felt frustrated after reading eight emails where he shared his daily life like a diary to her. She didn't understand what came over this brother of hers. She wanted to stop reading but still went on, at least, to match his brother's efforts.

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Actually, his brother acted this way for he was not receiving any replies from her. He wanted to remind her that she still had a brother living, caring and waiting for her replies.

At last, she reached the first five messages he sent. She felt the deep concern of his brother for locking herself up and not eating for days. He wrote on a list of ideas to fill her time to help her move on. With his cajoling, she decided to go back to her drawings and laptop. She replied by saying that he must stop sending her his diary. His reply was a message full of crying emoticons.

She also got an email from her parents.

(Beauty,

How are you? I hope you're doing fine. I have some questions for you. I hope you don't mind.

If possible, please share to us what really happened on that day? We are thinking of filing a case against the school and insist on the city schools' superintendent to hear our plea.

We missed you greatly.

Papa and Mama)

. . . . .

Beauty was moved and heartbroken for her parents. Tears fell from her eyes thinking of her parents' pain and desire to help her.

. . . . .

(Papa & Mama,

There's no need to file a case for the students were at fault and not the school or the teachers. Thank you for love and care. Be at peace. I will surely overcome this problem not for long. Your happiness is my joy and strength.

Loving daughter,

Beauty)

. . . . .

She loved cooking and food presentation. Her dreams were to become a chef and open her own restaurant. Such thought inspired her to draw again. Flowers like shaped food together with jewel formed fruits arranged intricately but uniquely in a forest-like arrangement of fruit and vegetable salad was slowly drawn on a page of her sketchbook. It looked like a painting but made of food. She didn't feel hungry looking at her food designs. It was a good thing that her Grand Mommy was there to prepare and send her meal on time.

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There were times while looking at her finished drawings wild fantasies would crawl to her mind, that her drawings became real and saw them all on a banquet table. Then there were people queuing to get a taste of her food. She was happily serving then she heard a 'ding'. A new email arrived. She wanted to revolt after checking what it was. It was only an invitation to a certain website for earning income. She spammed it right away with anger for waking her from her bliss.

She then realized she was just an ordinary 18-year-old girl. Without the school principal's approval, she might not have been able to graduate from senior high. Fortunately, the teachers'' favor was on her side. The principal, seeing her good grades and standing in school, kindly allowed her to graduate without finishing the last month before graduation.

She might have so much creativity as her strength but what good it could give her with her situation?

"Oh my, what's the use with all these ideas and skills if I can't make my dreams come true? What a shame, I'm really helpless now." She sighed with all the sighs of the world.

Thumping sounds of a ball brought her back from her stupor. Some boys were playing at the cemented basketball court near their house. She remembered her brother's written ideas. One of them was to exercise and aim to lose weight. So she decided to divert her attention. She made a goal, try losing those baby fats.

She changed to a simple shirt and a pair of jogging pants. She planned to jog at the beach every day. If possible lose 1 kilo per day. She weighed 70 Kilogram. She wanted to lose 20 Kg or more in one month. She felt proud of herself for having such high objective.

She marked that day in the calendar, February 28. Easily said than done. She sprinted one lap but almost could not reach her drawn starting line.

"I must persevere. I must. Beauty, you can do it." She tried to run again but her chest was already heaving deeply. Her brows were covered with sweat.

"Is there no hope for me? Will I remain like this for the rest of my life?" She pictured herself being old with white hair with her round body like a ball. She saw herself trying to walk with her walking stick and bent back. Suddenly the walking stick broke into two due to her heavyweight then she fell on the ground.

"Ahhh! I don't want to look like that. I must persevere. I must lose these ugly fats."

"But you can't do it that way. If I were you I will stop being foolish by trying to lose weight in that manner", she heard a male voice speaking at her side. She turned her head around and was struck dumb.

An encounter that would bring out her self-confidence again.

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