《VRMMORPG: Heart of the Phantom Thief》Login Diary Entry 6-2

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It was a typical looking lodge. The obligatory antlers and bearskin furnishings were present, as well as the carved wooden decorations. But, something was bothering me. Were they really carved?

I leaned closer to examine a nearby shelf decoration, noticing the neatly-knit weave of the wood. There wasn’t really any sign of knife or blade touching it. The wood had naturally twined and twisted around itself in that manner.

Hmmm. Perhaps it’s an elf’s touch? I thought to myself.

“Ah are you perhaps interested in woodcrafting? It’s one of my specialties, you know. It takes a while to convince the branches to grow in that manner. But, it’s too bad that non-elves can’t converse with the trees so easily.” Kenneth sighed.

Ryuu cleared his throat again. That’s the second time that’s happened. I wonder if he’s catching a cold? Wait, before that, can AIDs even get colds? I mused to myself.

“Ah, but where are my manners, do sit down, Jade. Ryuu.” Kenneth motioned to the bear fur-covered couch. I obliged by taking a seat, instantly sinking down into fluffy wonderfulness. Honestly, I wondered if this is what Sats*ki felt like in My Neighbor T*toro when she took the cat bus to find her sister…I wanted one.

Then Kenneth took something out from behind him and laid it on the small table in front of us.

“Before I get to the mission. You do recognize it, right?” Kenneth asked. I looked at the object…hmmm….nope. Not mine, whatever it was. It appeared to be a long stick-like black thing that looked like a small lance.

“That’s! But weren’t they all exterminated right before the Sabel Thaigar’s subjugation mission?” Ryuu exclaimed, surprised.

…Um, can someone let me into the loop, please? Preferably Kenneth, cuz I’m still not talking to Ryuu. I mentally complained.

“Isn’t it? I thought so too. It turns out there are most likely a remnant few out there.” Kenneth agreed with a smile.

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Okay, now you’re both being mean. Don’t make me say it! I frowned.

I reached out my hand towards it and picked it up, examining it. It’s rather shiny, like it was polished. It’s also rather light. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was made out of plastic-Ooh! There’s a part that bends here. It’s segmented too. Kind of like…I paused, and looked up at Kenneth.

“Is this what I think it is?” I asked him.

Kenneth raised an eyebrow. “What do you think it is?” He asked in return.

“The perfect marshmallow stick.” I replied deadpan.

“…excuse me?” Kenneth asked. Ryuu’s cold must be getting worse. I can see his shoulders shaking as he tries not to cough.

“Ah, well. It looks similar to a tool from where I come from which is used to make a very classic sweet.” I replied.

“But you just called it a stick earlier?” Kenneth asked, slightly confused.

“Not any stick can become a marshmallow stick.” I sniffed.

It’s true. The short or completely dead(dry) sticks aren’t good for roasting marshmallows. They also can’t be too thin or bendy. If I turned this over so that the hinge part was opened towards the sky, it’d probably stay straight. And I was actually just spouting complete BS so that he’d actually tell me what the darned thing was. If I had my suspicions right…

“Is that so?” Kenneth tugged at one of his ears, absentmindedly, glancing at Ryuu.

“Well I wouldn’t really know much about that. It’s actually…ah, now that I think of it, you’ve been summoned from another world, so perhaps you don’t know about them? In that case, allow me to give you an explanation when next we meet with one, okay?” Kenneth promised.

Stingy. If you’re going to explain, you can at least tell me what it’s called. I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of animal, though. I mentally scolded. Putting things aside for a different time is just asking for an emergency quest flag to be raised.

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Reflecting upon my method, I ended up speaking more than I’m used to, without getting any relevant information…maybe it was my fault for going off track on purpose? Perhaps NPCs can’t pick up dry humor or sarcasm?! Oh, wait. I forgot about that smooth-talker title I have. Man. Reputation sure does bite sometimes.

I also glanced at Ryuu, who by now had completely suppressed his cough. For some reason, I felt really annoyed. I wasn’t sure why, but I’m certain it was all his fault. He closed one eye and looked back at me as if asking. “What? Is there something you wish to ask of this King?” or something equally ear-curdling-ly narcissistic words.

I turned back to the black pointy thing, remembering that I was still ignoring him. But it wasn’t fun anymore. I placed it back on the table.

“And? You wish us to look for where this came from?” I asked.

“No, I’m already pretty sure where that came from, actually. The reason I really called for help was to have someone help with the tree sap route. I’m not sure if you’d noticed, but the trees around here are troubled by an excess of sap, which causes them to burst apart if not taken care of, which is why I have established a sap line.

It’s good stuff. If you boil it, you can make a sweet syrup, candy sweets, or -if you process it differently- you can make a natural wood glue that is key in making bows and arrows.

To be honest, since it’s spring there are just too many trees to take care of, which is why I need help. If you can help me for one week, then you can have a share of what comes out of the sap production. Well? What do you say? Will you help me save the trees from bursting?” Kenneth offered placing his hands together in petition.

A blue box popped up again.

Kenneth the hunter needs help collecting the extra sap from his suffering trees. If you help, he will reward you with a share of the results. Rewards vary according to effort.

Accept?

Yes No

I looked blankly at Kenneth. Someone who was supposedly saving the trees had coincidentally been in the clearing and leisurely enough to shoot arrows at us earlier. I highly doubted that this was a simple job of gathering tree sap. I wanted to call bull, but before I could open my mouth, Ryuu cut in again.

“We’d be happy to help, oh incompetent guardian of the forest.” He smiled mischievously as Kenneth glared at him. The blue box disappeared as a new quest marker appeared in the top right corner.

…um…accepting quests was my job, wasn’t it? Ah, nevermind then. It’s not like I’m the protagonist of my own story or anything (AN: Ack. She broke the 4th wall!). I ignored the sinking feeling I had in my stomach as I asked my question.

“And so, how are we going to do this?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Kenneth was about to tell her what the object was, Ryuu quickly put a finger to his lips. ‘It’s better for her to think of it like that.’ He thought. ‘I can’t wait to see her face when she meets one~’

Actually, during that whole conversation, Ryuu had been shuddering as he tried to hold back his laughter. This person named Jade clearly already had an idea of what it was, but she gave the wrong answer on purpose. How cute. How much more amusing will it be when she sees them?

Ryuu couldn’t wait.

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