Author's Note: 300+ Average views and 35+ follows? No way! Thank you guys so much for all of your support! Enjoy this super cool chapter!

***

"What do ya do with a drunken sai-lor, what do ya do with a drunken sai-lor, what do ya do with a drunken sai-lor, ear-ly in the mor-ning?!"

They had been at it for about three verses now. Twilight was not a fan of drunken sailors.

"I have to wonder if anybody else is having to put up with this," she whispered to Alucard. The vampire nodded.

"Probably so, Miss Sparkle."

The van swerved again, tossing the unicorn into her bodyguard's arms. He promptly set her back in her seat, and drew the limp safety belt more tightly across her stomach.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

The driver swung the wheel erratically again, causing another jolt. "Whoopsie," she giggled.

"Usagi, I thought you said you knew how to drive this thing!" roared the boy with the straw hat.

"Well, I mean, I read a couple chapters in the driver's guide once, when I was waiting to get my hair done, so, yeah," replied the driver.

"As long as we keep moving forward we're bound to make it down the road in some fashion," muttered the adult of their group, seemingly a little more sober than before.

"But, Jack, if she keeps goin' like this, we're gonna get killed!" protested the boy.

"Luffy, my boy, it's the journey that counts. Embrace it. And that's Captain Jack to you."

Jack rubbed his eyes- miraculously not smearing the absurd amount of eyeliner he had applied- and turned his attention to the back of the van.

"And how are our esteemed guests doing?"

"I've had worse," stated Alucard flatly.

"Fine, thank you," replied Twilight. "How close are we to Southville?"

"It's right up ahead," Usagi announced, hunching down to look at the road through the spokes of the steering wheel. "So we'll get that coin in no time!"

"Sure we will… provided no one tries to stop us," warned the unicorn.

"Hah!" cackled Luffy. "Let 'em try! The Crimson Corsairs are invincible! Nobody can take us down!"

At that moment, a Combi-Stick punctured the roof, shot down between Jack's reclining legs, and severed the van's brittle driveline. The van slowly rolled to a halt, with Usagi revving the engine uselessly.

"I believe they are trying," observed Alucard.

"That they are," gasped Jack, inching away from the spear-like weapon that had missed his more sensitive regions.

Luffy pulled his hat down tighter over his head as he scrambled to the door. "There's no sense sittin' around! Let's go kick some butt!"

He swung his door open to find the owner of the Combi-Stick, a hulking Yautja hunter, standing outside.

"Are you the jerk who did this?" he asked, undeterred by the seven-foot tall alien.

"While he is directly responsible for destroying your vehicle, I gave the order," oozed a familiar voice from outside. Twilight looked up at Alucard, who gave her a concerned nod in response.

So we've run into Dio's team, she thought. This isn't good. The rest of the fighters, I'm not too concerned about, but Dio himself is always a challenge. We might need to retre-

"Hey, mister I-Dress-In-Too-Much-Yellow! Yeah, you!" shouted Luffy from mere feet in front of the vampire.

Dio blinked. "You're not who I was expecting."

"You had better START expecting me, 'cause the Crimson Corsairs are the new team in town and we are ITCHING for a fight, right, guys?"

Jack stumbled out of the car, shielding his eyes against the sun.

"Hold on, hold on, just- just a moment," he stuttered. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're just weary travelers, searching for a-"

A knife whizzed past Jack's face and removed one of his dreadlocks.

"Your comrade just said you were a team here to fight," hissed Dio. "What makes you think I'm going to believe that drivel?"

"The… ahm… goodness in your heart?"

Dio grinned. "Now that's quite the mistake. Hinging your plan on my own generosity will prove… useless."

He raised an open hand and waved it forward, and the massive blue suit of armor that called itself Nightmare stomped down the road to his master's side.

"You two should suffice to deal with these maggots," said the vampire, turning to walk back towards the town. "I must return to question the elf."

"The elf?" whispered Twilight, hunkered between the seats to avoid being seen. "Could that be Holly?"

"It is possible that there could be other elves here, but I doubt Dio would have reason to question them," replied Alucard, who had simply phased into the bench seats. "It's the Police Elf, I'm certain."

Twilight nodded and proceeded to teleport outside the vehicle, followed closely by her bodyguard. "Then it seems a rescue mission is in order."

"You guys go and do that!" squealed Usagi, slinking lower into the driver's seat. "I'm gonna stay right here!"

Jack tucked his severed lock back underneath his bandana. "All right, lad, what are we looking at here?"

"Two big guys, one with a stick and one with a sword," said Luffy, stating the obvious.

"All right then, I suppose I'll take the one with the sword?"

Luffy gave Jack a thumbs-up and a goofy grin. "That sounds fine by me!"

"Dio's enforcers," noted Alucard quietly from their shelter behind the van. "I should be able to take care of them easi-"

The van suddenly jolted behind them with a metal-tearing scream, amplified by Usagi's own wails of terror. Alucard and Twilight circled the vehicle quickly to find an unconscious Predator lying in a caved-in sliding door.

"There's more where that came from!" said Luffy through gritted teeth, cracking his knuckles.

Twilight looked incredulously at the boy, muzzle agape. "You… knocked him out?"

"Well duh. How else would he end up knocked out?"

Jack scurried back from another one of Nightmare's brutal slashes, which met nothing but dirt. He wobbled his own rusty blade in the air, perhaps as some sort of taunt.

"That's all well and good, but I've, ah, got some things to clear up here first," he said, dodging a horizontal slice by flopping to the ground on his back.

"I've got it," grunted Alucard, raising his pistols and firing into the wall of ancient, blue metal. Each bullet caved in chunks of armor, and soon Soul Edge's wielder was reduced to nothing more than a pile of scraps that glowed a faint red.

"Whoa," gasped Luffy.

"This team has evidently captured a friend of ours," said Twilight. "Alucard and I must attempt to retrieve her. We know this team and they're very-"

Jack sheathed his sword and raised a finger. "Hold on just a minute. We let you two tag along with us under the condition that you'd be helping us towards our goals. But now you're going to run off and leave us 'ere to take on these rapscallions on our own? Awful suspect if you ask me."

"Believe us or not, it's the truth," protested Twilight. "We can't just sit around and let our friend get hurt!"

"And we can't let you sour our deal," snapped Jack. "So you can go and 'rescue your friend'… but you'll have Usagi with you."

Usagi fell out of the ruined van onto her face, evidently in shock.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" she cried.

"And we'll take the bloke with the guns as collateral," continued the pirate. "Savvy?"

Twilight gritted her teeth. Alucard's job was to stick around her, and them being separated would be very dangerous to her health- especially in the middle of The King's League territory. The vampire knelt down next to his charge, removing his sunglasses.

"We'll act as a distraction," he whispered. "I'll be a big enough threat to draw their manpower away from you. There won't be many left guarding the police elf."

"Are… are you certain?"

"No. But it's our best shot, if we want to keep the deal. I believe you can do it, Twilight."

He patted her mane and replaced his sunglasses, turning to join the other fighters. Twilight trotted over to where Usagi still knelt in the dirt.

"Don't worry. I'll keep you safe," she said to the wet-eyed girl.

"O-okay. You'd better."

"Now hold still. I'm going to teleport us into the town. If you move too much, it'll hurt a little."

"Wait, wha-"

In a flash of light, the two disappeared. They reappeared further down the road, surrounded by the buildings of Southville on either side. Twilight began to scan the area, and Usagi tucked her head behind her knees and wept.

"We need to move quickly," explained Twilight, finding one side of the street occupied by an empty barn, a tavern, and a few houses. The opposite side featured a town hall and the bank- it was remarkably similar in layout to Northville, only reversed. "If any one of Dio's fighters, or, Celestia forbid, Dio himself shows up, we are in serious trouble. Now, if I was holding hostages, where would they be?"

"In a fluffy unicorn castle?" answered Usagi.

"No, I mean-"

"Or, like, a rainbow jail?"

"You're missing the point."

"Is it a magical bouncy cloud?"

"We're checking the town hall first," growled Twilight, galloping towards the door. Usagi didn't understand why the pony was so mad all of a sudden, but decided not to make her any angrier by following her closely. Twilight spun on her hooves and directed a fierce kick with her hind legs into the edge of the door, which proved forceful enough to knock it open without obvious damage. She charged through and waved the girl in, using her magic to shut the door behind her.

"Oh, what is that smell?" Usagi asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Death," frowned Twilight, deciding not to point out the pile of corpses that were stacked behind the front desk. She ushered the girl away from the cadavers and up a flight of stairs to the second floor, where- if the interior layout was the same as the town hall in Northville- they would find the Mayor's Office.

"This has to be where Dio made his base of operations," explained Twilight. "So I'd bet he's got Holly locked up in here to question her."

Usagi responded with a blank stare.

"Ugh, you're useless," Twilight snarled. "Let's get this over with."

The unicorn tested the knob and found it unlocked, which could have been an early warning sign that all was not as she predicted, or merely a slip in security- something not entirely impossible for a band of bloodthirsty killers. She summoned magic into her horn, ready to blast whatever might be on the other side of the door, and swung it open.

The room seemed vacant and neat- no shelves in disarray, no papers strewn over the coffee table. In fact, it seemed rather uninhabited… until the office chair behind the mayor's desk rolled around to face them.

"Looking for someone?" asked Janice Starling, undoing the top button of her navy-blue suit.

"Where's Holly?" asked Twilight with a grimace, lowering her horn towards the woman.

"The elf? Not here. But that much is obvious. Lord Dio put her somewhere where she's nice and safe, unlike you two. I'm just using this room as an office. I don't believe we've met, I'm Janice Starling, CEO of Starling Cosmetics."

"You pick an odd time for introductions," grumbled Twilight. "But I've heard of you. Holly and Katniss have both put you down before, and I'm certain I can do the same if you make me have to."

"Oh, so you're with them? Then maybe you can tell me about what I saw a while back."

Twilight raised her horn, the magic simmering to a more comfortable level. "What you saw?"

"I was just about to kill your budding martial artist when a blue light flashed, and two men appeared and tore me apart. I'm helping Lord Dio catalogue our opponents," she explained, undoing another button and leaning forward over the desk in a manner that was probably not intended for most business transactions. "And I'd just like to know their names. So I can have your whole team wrapped up, before I kill you."

Cold moisture began to gather above Twilight's eyes. So she's remembered Artemis' intervention… I thought her file said she experienced memory loss after transforming. This just keeps getting better.

"Why should I tell you?" the unicorn countered.

"I've found a way to… enhance my changes, lately. Let's just say that if you tell me, I'll be in enough control to leave you alive, so you can get locked up with your elf friend before we let you have the little surprise we made for her."

"Surprise? Changes? What's she talking about?" asked Usagi, preparing to cower once again.

"We're going to have at least one of those things answered very soon," replied Twilight. "Fine. I'll tell you."

"Excellent!" cheered Janice, tossing her jacket aside and drawing a notebook from the desk. "So, I'm looking for names on two guys. One little, one big."

"Simon the Digger is the little one. Kamina is the big one," Twilight lied.

"… and Kamina," Janice echoed, scribbling something into the book. "All right. Let's get this started, shall we?"

"Twilight, can you please tell me what's going on? I have, like, zero knowledge about anything she just said," whined Usagi.

Twilight frowned back at the girl. "Well, that lady over there is about to turn into a wasp monster and brutalize us."

"Oh, that totally makes- wait, no it doesn't!" Usagi cried. "That only raises more questions!"

"Forget about whether it makes sense! If you can fight, get ready to!"

"I've been waiting for an opportunity to test this out for a while now… Dio and that other bug thing wouldn't let me have any fun with the boys running the place." She stepped out of her heels and began to unfasten her skirt, which was removed entirely by the sudden growth of a bulbous insect abdomen. Her legs became segmented and digitigrade, and a third pair of limbs emerged from her hips as spindly sticks compared to the legs that had once been human. These came to rest against the larger set of legs as chitin rapidly advanced up her human torso, giving her a segmented suit of armor. Her face contorted to incorporate a set of mandibles that closed over her human mouth, and her eyes swelled into large, compound masses complemented by antennae that emerged from her retracting hair. Yellowish fur emerged around the base of her neck, forming a collar of sorts, and finally a set of transparent wings emerged from her back.

"That's not the form Katniss or Holly described," observed Twilight.

"That'zzz correct," replied Janice.

Twilight took a step back in surprise. "You can talk?"

"I can do much more than that. Thankzzz to Zzzol Badguy'zzz help, I am in total control of the wazzzp. We are one in the zzzame, now."

"Well, it won't do you a bit of good. Usagi and I will beat you all the same, right, Usagi?"

Twilight located the girl, who had curled into a ball underneath a wooden chair and was weeping profusely.

"Ugh! You're useless! Never mind her, Janice. Focus on me instead."

"No promizzzezzz."

Janice sprung forward, propelled by the longer of her two pairs of legs, letting the other two trail behind her limply. Twilight dodged to the left, and teleported to the room's back corner in order to observe her opponent briefly.

So, she's found a way to control her transformation and create a wasp form with more human features… like making her second set of legs vestigial. Interesting. Twilight watched Janice look down at where she had been moments before, clearly confused as to where the unicorn had gone. And while she may retain slightly more of her intelligence, she's still not as sharp as a human. I bet she might fall for the same tricks as the Xenomorph. Which reminds me, where is that thing? I wouldn't want it sneaking up on me.

As Janice located Twilight, the unicorn deployed her defensive shield spell, applying the reversal effect. The wasp woman stalked over to the pink dome, flicking her antennae back and forth rapidly. She reached out a cautious hand and tapped the spell's shimmering surface, which caused her finger to rapidly re-orient itself towards her face. She made a surprised clicking sound, then pulled her claws back.

"Nizzze try," she laughed, and turned away.

So she figured it out and gave up? That's nice, but- Usagi!

Janice crept over to the wooden chair under which the girl was cowering, clamped her talons around it, and threw it against the office wall, causing it to splinter into large fragments.

"P-p-please, nooo," whimpered Usagi.

"Why not?" asked Janice. "Have you got a reazzzon? Why I shouldn't kill you?"

"B-b-because… I asked?"

"Wrong anzzzwer," Janice growled, lifting the girl to her feet. "Here'zzz why I should. I've taken my own life into my handzzz… this was my decizzzion. I figured it out- I'm immortal, and beautiful, and-"

"A monster," finished Twilight, firing the shattered chair leg towards Janice's paper-thin wings. Janice turned from the girl and batted the piece of wood aside, crushing it into smaller chunks with a clawed foot.

"I can do whatever I want," continued the wasp woman, with great irritation.

So she's fast enough to block, even at this range… thanks to this new form of hers, most of my attacks will be useless. Of course, if she were to suddenly lose control, things might be a little different.

Twilight stamped a hoof to draw Janice's attention. "So let me get this straight… you decided- for yourself, as you claim- to partake in a risky experiment in order to enhance your own appearance, according to a subjective standard of beauty?"

"Yezzz," answered Janice, turning away from Usagi and slowly stomping towards the unicorn. The girl fled underneath the desk, poking her eyes above its surface to observe the fight.

"A subjective standard of beauty… is entirely dependent on the opinions of others. You didn't do that for yourself, you did it for everypony else!"

Janice made a deep gurgling sound before firing up her wings and dashing towards Twilight stinger-first. Twilight teleported away, beginning to feel like the world's most inappropriate bullfighter. Bullfighting was an odd sport: One big guy against a smaller, nimbler pony. It was the pony's goal to cover the bull with as many ceremonial leaves as possible, whilst the bull tried to pin the pony. Twilight herself had been much more of a fan of the Mixed Mare Arts tournaments, since they showcased a wider variety of styles, but she was glad all the same that she had attended a few bullfights as she dodged the wasp woman again.

"Shut up," snarled Janice, pounding a chitin-covered fist against a wall after failing to capture the unicorn a third time. "You're wrong!"

"Am I? Let's look at another point of yours: that you can do whatever you want. Unless I'm mistaken, you've had a lot of trouble controlling your wasp side's instincts to kill and eat and secure your mate. You were doing whatever it wanted. Everything you did was a response to the desires of others. You were right about one thing, though- you look a bit younger."

"I'll rip you limb from limb, you little piezzze of-" Janice was interrupted by a small bolt of magic exploding on her face. It was a little too bright for her compound eyes, so she clasped her hands over her face with a screech of pain.

"You're a weak woman, Janice. All of these poor decisions, because you couldn't stand the thought of a few wrinkles. People with values that petty clearly haven't learned about what true friendship is," the unicorn intoned, slowly trotting towards Janice.

"Grrraaaargh!" howled the wasp woman, stumbling away from the wall, slashing the air madly with her claws. "My head- zzztop talking, you're giving me a headache!"

Twilight let a sly smile flash across her muzzle.

"I'm not giving you a headache. You are."

Janice's mandibles clamped shut in agony as her insect abdomen swelled up to drag across the floor and her vestigial legs also began to increase in size. Her waist twisted backwards to form a thorax, against which her human torso writhed as the chitin armor shifted around her human skin.

"Twilight, she just got bigger and scarier!" screamed Usagi.

"Bigger and scarier, yes," replied Twilight. "Stronger, no."

The unicorn hopped backwards, putting more space between her and the more-monstrous Janice. Can't take constructive criticism? What a shame. Now you've lost your speed advantage.

The wasp woman released a guttural, clicking howl before firing her wings up to charge at Twilight again. Twilight stood still, allowing Janice to pick up more and more speed. She raised her talons toward her prey, her antennae frenzied with excitement. Finally, she would get that little horse to shut up. She was so focused that she did not see Twilight's magic pick something up off the ground.

Come on. İToro, toro!

Janice's clawed feet dragged just an inch above the ground as her massive frame sped ever closer to the unicorn. Fifteen feet, ten, five, three, two, one… Twilight disappeared one last time, and Janice felt something sharp in her chest. She looked down, and found an elongated chunk of wood, shattered on the end exposed to the air, and probably similar on the end that had torn through her body.

"In both of your forms, you've got a pretty big weak spot," Twilight explained, pointing a hoof towards the piece of wood. "Your chest there stays human- you might find it soft and weak if you didn't like that area for, ahem, other purposes. When you were in your advanced form, you were fast enough to repel my attacks, but like this you couldn't- and you put more mass behind your charge. All it took was a bit of that chair to ruin your human heart, which if I'm guessing correctly, supplies blood to your brain."

Janice's body slumped to the floor, her wings fluttering a few times before coming to a rest.

"Looks like I did guess correctly," frowned Twilight. "Come on, Usagi. We still need to find Holly."

"After that?" cried the girl. "Can I have a breather first?"

"Only for as long as it takes me to figure out where Holly actually is."

"She said she was somewhere nice and safe."

"Nice and safe, that's it!" yelped Twilight in epiphany. "The most secure place in the town! The bank! Oh, Usagi, I'm sorry I said you were useless."

"Yeah, it's okay, whatever. Can we just sit down for a sec? I need a moment after all that."

"Sorry, but we need to get moving. As much as you didn't like Janice, if Dio shows up things will be worse."

"Worse?"

"Notice how we're still alive. If Dio finds us, we won't be."

"Oh."

Twilight waved the girl on and led her back down the stairs cautiously. Her eyes were searching for the slightest hints of movement or misplaced shadows, her ears listening for the creaking of boards below them. They crept back into the lobby, and Twilight used her magic to wrench Usagi's head away from the bodies a second time and yanked her out the door.

"Jeez, what was all that for?" whined the girl.

"One, be quiet. And two, trust me," whispered Twilight. The unicorn checked up and down the street, then scampered toward the bank with Usagi in tow. Upon hearing some faint noises from within the building, she skidded to a halt, nearly causing the girl to trip over her.

"Hey, what's the big-"

"There's someone in there, talking," Twilight hissed. "Listen."

"I mean, if ya think about it guard duty's not so bad," growled a deep, burly voice. "Ya get to stay outta harms' way and the only thing ya gotta do is make sure the prisoners don't escape. Piece o' cake."

"But… I wanna be out there," replied a second, distinctly female voice. "I can't just sit around knowing that Dio might need help."

"Listen, Dio can take care of himself fine," grumbled the first voice. "I don't get why you're all caught up with him. 'E's really kind of a jerk, if ya ask me."

"Okay, we need to get inside without being detected," instructed Twilight. "But we need to figure out how quickly, or Dio will-"

"Kill us!" squealed Usagi, leaping to the door and vaulting through.

"Or they will," hissed Twilight, galloping in after her with her magic charged. The bank had a fairly simple layout: a white tile floor led up to the teller's counter, which was guarded by wooden slats. It was divided to allow two queues, one on the left and one on the right- though Twilight doubted that a town of this size would ever need a second queue at the bank. The left counter was empty, and the right was occupied by a girl who had been in the process of filing her nails, until Usagi had burst in. She put down her file, cinched up her tie, and patted her hair down.

"Um, hello there," she said.

"Hello to you, too?" asked Twilight, confused by the less-than hostile greeting.

"Listen, if you guys are looking for the coin, it's not here anymore. Dio's got it and I don't think he'll give it to you."

"Actually, we're not here for the coin," said Twilight severely, lowering her glowing horn. "You're holding a prisoner that we'd very much like to free."

"Oh, you mean Holly?"

"Dammit, Filia, you're not supposed to say that!" roared the deep voice from before. Twilight looked around frantically for the source of the words, but could not see one.

"Well, Samson, what am I supposed to do?" questioned the girl, looking up. The unicorn tried to locate the voice on the ceiling above the girl, but again, she saw nothing.

"You're supposed to keep your mouth shut! Tell 'em there's no prisoner, or that they can go fall off a cliff or somethin'!"

"There's no prisoner," winced Filia. "And you can go fall off of a cliff, or something."

"I WAS SPEAKIN' HYPOTHETICALLY!"

Twilight noticed that a movement from the girl's studded headband synchronized with the deeper voice's words.

"Is that… your hair talking?"

"Oh, yeah. That's Samson," explained the girl.

"DO YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THIS, KID?!"

"I know the way you feel," sighed Twilight.

"I'm tellin' ya!" concurred Samson.

"So you guys just want the prisoner, huh?" Filia placed a hand on her chin and tapped her nose with her index finger. "I guess I could let you have her."

"WHAAAAAT?!" cried the girl's parasite.

"No, think about it, Samson. If I don't have a prisoner to guard, I can be out there helping Dio!"

"Suddenly your friend is making a lot of sense," agreed Twilight, who wasn't about to let the offer slip.

"Here, I'll take you to her," said Filia, opening the latch on the teller's counter and slipping through to the lobby. "This way," she instructed, leading them around the corner and down a narrow hallway. They arrived in front of a large, stainless steel vault. Filia ran her finger around the edge of the lock mechanism, and a small panel popped off of the front, revealing a keypad. She tapped a few numbers in, causing the panel to reaffix itself to the lock and the entire mechanism to begin spinning. Gears ground and shifted within the door, and then halted with a clang.

"There you go," chirped Filia, pulling the door open. Holly sat, legs crossed, in the center of the floor. She was handcuffed and blindfolded, but seemed unharmed.

"Is this a jailbreak, or am I getting a new cellmate?" asked the elf. "Please don't tell me it's Alucard."

"It is a jailbreak," Twilight announced proudly. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, once you're a hostage once it gets a lot easier from there. I'm fine."

Filia poked Usagi on the shoulder and pointed at her head.

"I love what you've done with your hair. Like little meatballs! So cute!"

She then proceeded to leave, Samson protesting futilely.

Twilight removed Holly's blindfold and cuffs, and the elf blinked her eyes open.

"So, how'd you end up finding me? And who's your friend there?"

"Alucard and I hitched a ride with another team. He's off fighting the rest of Dio's goons, so I could come and save you."

"That's very nice of you, Twi. And, you, too, miss…?"

Usagi was busy looking into a compact mirror, evidently entranced with her own hair. After a moment, she realized that someone was speaking to her, and fumbled to put the mirror away.

"Um, ah, what was that?"

"Your name," repeated Holly.

"Usagi Tsukino!" cheered the girl, executing a flamboyant salute.

Holly performed a short bow. "Thank you, Twilight and Usagi." She gestured for Twilight to come to her side, and quickly turned her away from the newcomer.

"I found out some interesting things about Katniss' dad… stuff I'm sure she doesn't know. Do you think it would be wise to tell her?" whispered the elf.

"That would depend on what those things are," replied Twilight. "We'll talk later. Right now, we need to help Alucard."

"Now, why on earth would we need to actually help Alucard? Sure, it's a nice thing to do, but he can't actually die, can he?"

"He may not be able to die, but Usagi's team members can. I don't intend on breaking the deal I made with them."

"Okay, suit yourself. I'm going to need to grab my wings and gun. They're locked up behind the front desk, I think. That's where Mr. Everdeen threw them when he brought me in."

Holly sprinted off, and Twilight left the vault. Usagi poked her flank, and the unicorn returned her attention to the girl.

"What is it, Usagi?" she asked, afraid for the answer.

"So, does she help deliver the presents, or what?"

***

Alucard snapped the alien beast's neck, and tossed its slowly-corroding corpse onto the ground. Perhaps he had toyed with the creature for a little too long, but he wanted to make sure that the pirates got a good show.

"Oh, dear," whispered Jack, dumbfounded by the vampire's ease in dispatching the monster.

"Come on," grunted Alucard. "We need to head into town to get back to the others. Keep up if you can."

He holstered his pistols and took off at a fairly slow pace- just a bit faster than any human could run. Teleporting wouldn't have been any fun; there was no spectacle to it. And he was enjoying his ability to scare the living daylights out of these two. In addition, he supposed it would be a good idea to stay near them, in case Dio somehow found a way to ambush them.

No, he thought, Dio is not one for an ambush.

Alucard's superhuman vision spotted his charge, the girl that had been sent with her and the police elf exit a building not more than fifty meters ahead. They seemed to be unharmed, which was frankly better than he had expected. His priority now was to make sure they could regroup safely. He came to a halt, drew his weapons, and scanned his surroundings… no sign of Dio or his subordinates.

There should be at least one left. Something's up.

Something was up, and it travelled downward very quickly, tearing through Alucard's sunglasses and removing his right eye. Jack and Luffy slowed from their sprint once they saw the blood begin to fly.

"Hmm," purred Alucard. "I wonder who that could-"

His body was perforated by another missile, and then another, and another. He stumbled backwards, and fell over- dozens of wooden shafts protruding from his body. Luffy and Jack dove behind a barrel underneath a nearby porch, desperate for cover.

"After all he did back there… he just got shot to death?" asked Luffy quietly.

"With a bow and arrow, no less," whispered Jack.

A purple explosion crackled out of the air in front of them, depositing Twilight, Holly, and Usagi onto the porch.

"These are the guys you're hitching a ride with?" Holly asked in disbelief.

"They are slightly more useful than they look," insisted Twilight.

"I hope not," said Mr. Everdeen, vaulting over the roof across the street that he was using as a sniping perch. He bounced off of an awning and rolled when he hit the ground, getting up without a scratch. He nocked an arrow into place and aimed it at Holly. "You're not getting away."

"With all due respect, Mr. Everdeen," replied the elf, "I don't think that's your decision to make."

"You're awful cocky for someone in my crosshairs."

"And you're awfully desperate to work with Dio," spat Holly. "But I suppose that makes sense."

Mr. Everdeen gritted his teeth. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, can't you see it? You want to go through with your plans, so that your daughter can live a normal life. Except, that's not the real reason, is it?"

"Dammit," cursed the man, releasing his grip on the arrow, causing it to fly just under Holly's ear and provoke a scream from Usagi. "I never should have told you-"

"If all you wanted was for everything in your world to be right… you wouldn't care what Katniss went through to get it that way. You'd be proud that she achieved what you couldn't. But you insist on doing things your way. You're selfish."

"Everything I did was for her-"

"If it was, then you wouldn't be where you are right now."

Mr. Everdeen froze halfway through drawing another arrow. Twilight looked up at Holly's grimly determined face. What exactly had she learned about him? Whatever it was, it did not sound like the sort of thing he wanted to talk about. He grimaced and shouldered his bow, and sat down with a stressful sigh.

"Kids like you wouldn't understand," he huffed.

Holly's frown lightened into a thin smile. "I'm quite a bit older than you."

"Whatever."

"You are going to need to catch me up on what you learned from him," said Twilight.

"Damn manipulative little bastards," cursed Mr. Everdeen. "You planned this all out, didn't-"

There was a muffled smacking sound, and the man was thrown from his seat on the ground across the street, half of his face suddenly quite purple.

"Useless," growled Dio, using his Stand to teleport to the man's feet.

"Gargh," Mr. Everdeen gasped. "Wha-what was that for?"

"That was for talking to the people you should have been killing," snarled the vampire in yellow.

The man struggled to get off the ground, holding his injured face. "You piece of sh-"

Instantly, Dio's hand was embedded in the man's throat.

"And this is for disrespecting me."

Mr. Everdeen struggled, but ultimately could not escape as Dio drained his body of blood, leaving a shriveled corpse behind. It fell to the ground like a bit of dirty cloth, and looked about the same.

Jack dropped back down behind the barrel. "Well, we have stumbled into quite the situation, now, haven't we?"

"That's an understatement," Luffy concurred.

"What is even going on?!" squealed Usagi.

Dio licked off his fingers and put them to his chin, looking over at the warriors. "So Team Mockingjay is along for the ride? Let's see here… the elf, and the pony… but no sign of daddy's little girl, or Miss Matoi, or the monster and his favorite idiot."

"You guys get out of here," whispered Holly. "I'll hold him off."

"No, I'm not letting you pull that again," hissed Twilight. "He'll just stab you in the face and go after us. It won't work."

The elf reached for her Neutrino as the vampire began to approach. "Then what are we supposed to do?"

"You're not supposed to do anything," oozed Alucard, having finally removed all of the arrows from his body, which was nearly done repairing itself. "Dio is mine."

"Oh, it's you again," smiled Dio, turning to face the other vampire. "I suppose you think you can do better than them?"

"This isn't about me," Alucard declared. "It's about everyone out there who calls themselves bloodsuckers. Scum like you don't deserve to sully the name of Nosferatu."

Alucard reached into his coat and drew his pistols, pulling the Casull's slide back with his teeth.

"I suppose a rematch couldn't hurt," said Dio, fishing for his knives and producing two handfuls from his pockets. "… Couldn't hurt me, that is."

Alucard made the first move, firing the larger of his two weapons into Dio's center of mass. He immediately followed up with another shot, placed on the vampire's left shoulder. Neither bullet seemed to have much effect, as Dio was able to throw both sets of knives into his opponent. Alucard stepped back, shaking a few knives free, and returned his pistols to his holsters.

"If these won't work, I have other weapons," he growled, looking toward Twilight. The unicorn nodded back.

"Alucard, level four release."

"Releasing control art restriction level four," the vampire announced. "I'm going to wipe that smile off of your face, Dio."

"No, you're not!" cried a familiar voice. The ground at Alucard's feet gave way to a spire of razor-sharp tendrils, which ran the vampire through and eviscerated him with multiple thorny projections.

"That sort of hurt," noted Alucard, struggling to free himself.

"You bet it did!" Filia shouted, kneeling on the ground behind Dio. Her hair was stretched down past her face, trailing into a fresh-looking tunnel in the dirt.

"Hey, it's that nice girl that let Holly go!" noted Usagi.

"So that explains why the prisoner is free," mused Dio.

"Yep!" chimed the girl. "So I could save you with that Ringlet Spike!"

Dio placed his hands on his hips, giving Filia a look of approval. "Oh, yes. Very well done."

"Thanks! Now, I'm gonna hit 'em with a Hairball Attack!"

The spire retracted, tearing Alucard further apart, and returned to Filia's head through its tunnel. She leapt into the air, and her Parasite formed a spiny, keratinous shield around her body as she curled into a ball. It fell to the ground, bounced, revved up, and was immediately stopped by Dio's foot. Filia's hair retracted back into its normal state, allowing the girl to give her leader a quizzical look.

"Lord Dio, what are you doing?"

Dio's face no longer showed any approval. "You actually let our prisoner go?"

"…So I could help you."

"When I didn't need any help in the first place?!"

"I mean, I-"

Dio reached down and snatched Filia off of the ground, hoisting her up by the neck.

"I have had enough of hearing you talk," he roared. "Do me a real favor and hold still."

His fingers slipped through her skin and siphoned her blood into his body, leaving Filia and her parasite a second withered corpse.

"Oh, this is not good," whispered Twilight.

"You see, by my calculations, there's actually fewer of them now," said Jack. "I can't really see how this is any worse than the spot we were just in, savvy?"

Twilight shook her head. "Dio's power increases proportionally to the amount and strength of the victims he drains. He just downed two, so he's running very hot. The last time we fought him with this much power…"

"He killed me," muttered Holly.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" Usagi cried.

"That's right, I did, didn't I?" cackled Dio. "But who knows what will happen, this time! That last one was something special."

Holly pointed her Neutrino at the vampire, knowing that it was, as he would say, useless. Still, even stunning him might be all they would need to escape- but she doubted it. This time, she would not turn into a city-crushing giant, that she was sure of. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Poor little Filia may not look it, but she's been turning into a monster for quite a while now- a Skullgirl. She's had some luck suppressing it, but the Skull Heart was still actively re-shaping her from the inside out. And now that I've absorbed a bit of those insides…"

"Oh, no," whimpered Twilight.

Dio tossed his jacket aside, cracking his knuckles. "Scared, are you? You should be. Let's test this out. THE WORLD!"

Holly instantly felt her stomach slosh around, and realized that the dirt under her feet was now suddenly above her head. She was standing on her head, and as she looked up (or down?) she could see that Twilight had been hung from the rafters of the porch they were standing under, tied up by her tail. Jack and Luffy had now been placed inside the barrel they had been hiding behind, Usagi had her legs tucked behind her head, and Dio was beside himself with laughter.

"Urreeeey!" he screeched. "Twenty-five seconds! The World can stop time for twenty-five seconds now! This feeling… ha-ha! This is the best kind of high!"

"Haven't you heard?" asked Alucard, fully healed again, with a pistol aimed squarely at the center of Dio's head. "Euphoric highs are usually followed by severe disappointment."

The weapon barked as it unleashed five rounds into the vampire, but again, the bullets had no effect, and tumbled away as flattened silver lumps. Dio's manic grin only spread further.

"Not this one. THE WORLD!"

The Stand's appearance kicked up dust from the ground, but other than that, Alucard had no warning before thousands of lightning-fast, brick-like fists tore his body to pieces yet again, finishing with a punch powerful enough to send what was left skyward. A tattered red coat floated to the ground behind Dio, who continued his advance towards the warriors.

"Ha. Hee-hee. Time's up, ureeey."

"It's almost like he's somehow more insane this time," hissed Holly, firing a barrage of Neutrino blasts into the vampire to no avail.

"Oh, I'm just as sane as ever," laughed Dio. "Right now, I'm rationally thinking about all of the wonderful ways to dismember you. Since I started with the arms last time I think I'll tear your legs off this time. And I'll skin the unicorn and use her hide as a bath mat!"

"That sounds a lot more pleasant than being hung up here right now!" screamed Twilight, her hooves pawing the air.

"I can't feel my anything!" whined Usagi, incapable of untangling herself.

"Well, I've had fun with you lot, but this must be the end of the road," sighed Jack.

"Um, you know, there is that one thing we haven't done yet," Luffy pointed out.

"What thing?" asked Jack.

Luffy blinked incredulously. "You know, my thing. The thing that I do? The thing you asked me not to do?"

"Because it's terrifying," whooped Jack. "It'll give me nightmares for weeks!"

"When I get down from here, I'M going to give you nightmares for weeks," roared Twilight. "I'm overriding his authority. Whatever it is, DO IT NOW!"

"All right," smiled Luffy. "I've been waiting for a chance to show off." He vaulted out of the barrel and marched directly in front of the other warriors. Dio stopped, no more than fifteen feet away.

"What's this? Fresh blood?" giggled Dio.

"Naw, not really," grunted Luffy. "I'm just a guy that doesn't put up with sickos like you."

"That's cute," snarled the vampire. "What are you going to do, spit on me?"

"I was thinking something more like a Gum-Gum Pistol."

"A what now?"

The boy punched forward with his right arm, as if striking someone much closer to him. But where one's fist would stop travelling, his continued onward, pulling the rest of his arm out- stretching it as if it were made of elastic. His hand crashed against Dio's face, knocking a fanged canine free. It then retracted back to its normal length.

"Ewwwww," groaned Jack.

"D'arvit," cursed Holly.

"KEEP GOING!" screamed the unicorn.

"Sure thing," grinned the boy, tilting his straw hat down.

"You little…" coughed Dio. "THE WORL-"

Another fist ended his sentence prematurely. Luffy smiled through gritted teeth.

"Sometimes, there's an advantage to hiding your full abilities from your opponent. Otherwise, nobody would've given it a name… hustling, right?"

Dio's brow curled down in absolute rage. "How dare you make a mockery of me, Dio?!"

"Well, I'm done hustling," Luffy continued. He squatted and drove his right fist into the ground, and his elastic flesh followed it down, bunching up at the hand before springing back into place with a squelch. His body produced a sound not unlike water vaporizing as it hit hot coals, and it appropriately began to vent steam. Sweat began to make his body glisten unnaturally. "Gear Second," he announced.

"Why do you even try to use such a technique?" snarled Dio. "It will be useless against my Stand!"

"Gum-Gum Jet Gatling," yelled Luffy, his arms suddenly disappearing from the speed of their movements. They only left trails of vapor, which was in turn whipped out of place by their rapid movements. So far as any of the other warriors could tell, there were only puffs of steam between the boy and Dio, who did not look comfortable in the slightest. He thrashed back and forth, overwhelmed by the multitude of strikes. Fists caved in his face and ribs, shattered his limbs, and snapped his neck. The torrent of blows extended outward, carrying him into the buildings across the street, the walls disintegrating much more quickly than the vampire. His pulped body flew through the bakery, and landed on a table full of broken glass.

"Ureeeeeey," he groaned weakly. In his fading vision, a red-clad figure approached, locked its fingers down over his dented skull, and hoisted what was left of him into the air.

"Look who's all high and mighty now," sneered Alucard. "That twenty-five seconds was kind of… useless."

Dio coughed and shuddered, his body failing to regenerate. The attack had lasted long enough to burn through all of the power that his comrades' blood had given him, leaving him vulnerable. He was beginning to think that killing his own allies had not been the best idea.

"You…ack!...haven't won… yet," Dio gasped.

"I think we have." Alucard jammed his hand into Dio's stomach and removed a wet, glittering coin. "Though I'll admit this was pretty damn clever."

"Nnngh."

Alucard placed his other hand around Dio's neck. "You know, I'm getting real tired of hearing you talk." With that, he tore the lesser vampire's head from his body, cleanly separating the spine above the neck. "Any last words?"

Dio's severed head managed to curl its lips into one last smile.

"Nine…ball."

Alucard's enthusiasm vanished. He tossed Dio's head against the bakery's back wall, and sprinted back across the street at full speed. Holly was holding Luffy's still- steaming body, applying some magic to the boy- it seemed that attack had taken a lot out of him.

"Way to go, Alucard," cheered Twilight, swinging back and forth. "Now can somebody get me down?!"

"We've got bigger problems than that," warned the remaining vampire, as the ruined bakery exploded to reveal the black-and-ruby frame of the Armored Core Nineball.

"That is a very large thing," observed Jack in terror.

"No, not that again!" screamed the unicorn, galloping against the air.

"Hold your hippocampi," said Holly, setting Luffy down. "I've got a solution. But I need to get about half a mile away, very fast."

"I can teleport you JUST AS SOON AS SOMEONE GETS ME DOWN!"

Alucard reached up and untied the unicorn's tail, setting her on the ground. Holly waved her along, and the two rushed away.

"What do we do now?" grunted Usagi, prying her legs free.

"Stay alive," instructed Alucard.

***

Holly exhaled thankfully as she was deposited next to the plane without a scratch. She was definitely getting the hang of being teleported, which she realized was beginning to be quite a regular occurrence, between the Master of Games, Poppy, and now Twilight.

"So what's this thing?" asked the unicorn, trotting to Holly's side.

Holly leapt up to the side of the canopy, and pulled the release lever. The glass swung backward, and she hopped into the cockpit.

"A fighter jet. I suppose you didn't have them where you come from."

"No, no, I know what a fighter jet is," assured Twilight. "I learned of them from my… associates. But what are we going to use a wrecked plane for? It won't ever fly again."

Holly flipped through several switches as the jet began to power up. She quickly shut down power to the ruined engine, re-routing the systems to compensate.

"It doesn't need to fly. Now get up here." Twilight teleported up into the cockpit, squatting down behind the pilot's seat. It was not meant for a passenger, but the pony's small frame fit, if only just.

"Hang on. This is going to be bumpier than… pretty much anything."

Holly closed the canopy, did one last check of her instruments, and jammed the throttle forward. The remaining engine roared to full power, and the jet's body screeched and complained as it began to shift out of the ground. With an unhappy groan, the fuselage freed itself from the rut it had dug, and began to skid across the desert's surface, scraping along without wheels. Holly furiously worked the rudder to keep the lop-sided power under control, as the cockpit began to shake violently.

"DON'T GRIT YOUR TEETH IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE THEM!" screamed the elf over the screams of the jet and the ground.

"THANKS FOR THE TIP," screamed Twilight in reply.

Holly wrenched the joystick back and forth, messily lining up the jet's nose with the buildings of Southville in the distance. The silhouette of Nineball could be seen clearly above them, twisting and turning as it hunted the remaining warriors. "SO THIS PLANE HAS A LOT OF INTERESTING FEATURES," shouted Holly.

"IS BEING A SLED ONE OF THEM?"

"NO," replied Holly, pulling back on the yoke as the town grew closer. "YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN IN A SECOND!"

Luffy sprung out of the way of another blast from the Armored Core's rifle.

"Whoo! I'm feeling great!" he cheered. "I've never recovered from a Gear Second this fast. Your elf's magic is a-ma-zing!"

"The police elf is quite useful," agreed Alucard, firing a few rounds at the machine to distract it from the cowering Usagi. It turned back towards him, folding its grenade launcher over its shoulder. The vampire was prepared to either take the blast or dodge, but he noticed something new. A sound…

"Is… that a jet?" he asked. He turned around, saw the approaching fighter, and took note of its trajectory.

"I think we should all take a moment to get away," he suggested. Luffy and Jack complied, sprinting for cover. Alucard simply teleported back under the porch, threw Usagi over his shoulder, and teleported back to her allies.

"What's going on?" asked Luffy.

"The police elf, no doubt."

Holly lined up the mech in her heads-up-display.

"CROSS YOUR FINGERS," she roared.

"I DON'T HAVE FINGERS," bellowed Twilight.

Holly clamped down a button on the joystick, and the plane's motion seemed to reverse direction instantly. She was thrown forward in her seat by the g-forces, which also tossed Twilight into the front of the cockpit. Holly was clearly more used to such violent maneuvers. She found herself doubting that for a moment when the cockpit suddenly went dark- until she realized that it was not her blacking out, but rather a metal plate extending over the glass canopy. The entire cockpit began to tilt in place, much more smoothly than the scraping motions they had endured to get here.

"What's going on?" cried Twilight. Displays suddenly lit up the dark canopy glass, showing a video feed of the world outside. Strangely, they seemed to be quite a ways off of the ground, as if they were flying.

"No way," gasped Luffy.

"That's amazing," whimpered Jack.

"I WANNA GO HOME!" screamed Usagi.

Where there was once a floundering jet, there now stood a second giant metal warrior, with great turbine engines for legs, and a thin visor for eyes.

"According to the instructions, this is Battroid mode," explained Holly. She took hold of an extra joystick that folded out in front of her, and wheeled it around. The screens displayed a giant limb reaching up and over their view, returning with a black gun pod in hand. "It's just you and me, hoss."

"And me!" cried Twilight. "So don't do anything stupid!"

The Armored Core immediately turned its attention to the newcomer.

"SCANNING TARGET," its computerized voice grated. "AC NOT RECOGNIZED."

"Recognize this," barked Holly, pushing the sticks forward. The Battroid lurched ahead, firing its left hand forward. Nineball dodged backward, its boosters sending it back into the left over bits of the bakery. The machine began to tip backward, and crashed into the ground face-up.

"It's down, it's down!" yelped Twilight.

"Not yet," observed the elf, seeing the Armored Core raise its rifle. She shoved the sticks to the right, and the single functional engine awakened from within the Valkyrie's leg, causing an awkward half-jump, half-limp that barely put them out of harm's way. The stray blasts from the beam rifle flew away into the midday sky, dissipating in the clouds overhead. Holly rotated the gun pod back into view, and a crosshairs appeared on the display. She re-centered the pip and pulled the extra joystick's trigger, and the Armored Core disappeared under a cloud of dust and debris as the Vulcan gun chewed through mech and building alike. "Now it is."

Nineball did not agree, and promptly flew out of the dust cloud, brandishing its laser blade. It swung the purple beam towards the Valkyrie with astonishing speed, but Holly was just as quick, moving her controls to toss away the gun pod and intercept the sword arm. She caught the Armored Core's limb by the elbow, but the impact knocked loose the Battroid's footing, causing them to slide backwards. Nineball was about the same size of the transformed Valkyrie, but on the violently shaking displays, it seemed much larger.

Twilight pushed herself back from the screens frantically, falling into Holly's lap. "It's too strong," she cried.

"I know," grunted Holly. She searched their inflated view of the Armored Core, desperate for an advantage.

Don't you have any weak spots? Anything?

As the attacking machine twisted its torso to put more weight on its sword arm, Holly saw what she was looking for. A section of armor plating had been torn away from just above its waist- clearly, the gun pod had been somewhat effective after all.

"Okay, Twi, it looks like I've got one shot at this. When I say 'jump', you're going to put yourself as far to the right of this cockpit as you can. Got it?"

"But I AM as far over as I can-"

"JUMP!"

Holly removed the Battroid's right arm from Nineball's elbow, which caused the laser blade to begin its descent. It dropped down to their shoulder, which boiled away under the high-temperature beam. Holly then shoved the right hand forward, into the gap in Nineball's armor. The metal fist clamped down over the other machine's guts, and ripped them back out as the laser blade tore down into the Battroid's chest. Holly could hear the scream of the laser blade from above her, as the dark metal plate over the cockpit began to glow.

"H-Holly," whimpered Twilight. "It's gonna-"

The blade ripped into the cockpit, shearing away the left side entirely. Holly simply tilted her head to the right, allowing the beam to pass within inches of her head. As it descended further, the sword nicked the Valkyrie's left thigh, and promptly fizzled out as the Armored Core's own legs gave way. The machine fell back onto the ground again, and did not get back up.

"Well," said Holly, undoing her harness to stand up and stretch in the now open-air cockpit. "That went much better than I anticipated."

Twilight decided right then and there that she very much preferred to be guarded by Alucard. Their perch began to shift underneath them, as evidently the wounded Battroid could no longer support its own weight. Holly reached out and snatched Twilight, fired up her wings, and flew out of the tumbling wreck, which crashed to the ground next to the broken hull of its opponent. She landed next to the other fighters, who were slack-jawed in some combination of awe and respect. Except Alucard.

"Wasn't that a little risky?" he intoned, glaring down at the elf behind glowing sunglasses.

"It was my only option," she protested.

"Fair enough."

"All things considered, this could have gone much, much worse," noted Twilight. "Running into Dio's team this early means that we won't have to deal with them again."

Holly lifted an index finger. "That may be so, but we still haven't dealt with the Night Terrors. All seems to point towards them being just as much of a threat, if not more."

"They're in Northville and that's where they're going to stay, as long as they think we're doing their work for them," countered the unicorn. "We can worry ourselves about them once we've found back the rest of our team."

"And the best way to do that is to keep moving," stated Alucard.

"But… the car's trashed," Usagi whined.

"And both of the mechs are dead," Holly added.

"No, wait… When they first attacked, Usagi could rev the engine, right?" asked Twilight.

"Y-yeah," said the girl. "I put my foot down but it wouldn't go anywhere."

"Then maybe it's not totally wrecked after all. Holly, Luffy, go find the fighter's gun pod and drag it back to the van. Alucard, take Usagi to the van. Captain Jack, you're coming with me."

"Wait," mumbled the pirate. "Wha-"

Twilight teleported them to the van's resting place just outside of the town. Jack came out of the lavender explosion looking particularly burnt, but his curses told Twilight that he was no worse for wear. Alucard reappeared next to her, holding a screaming Usagi. The vampire let the girl go, and she flung herself into the dirt, flailing her arms.

Twilight motioned to the vehicle. "Alucard, lift this up. I want to look at the bottom."

The vampire did as instructed, and gently tilted the van onto its side. A long metal bar hung loosely down the middle.

"Just as I thought, the driveline's busted. Alucard, go help Holly and Luffy get the gun over here. I think we may just have a ride to Terre Sombre after all."