"Ohhh, there's twenty-two bottles of Dust on the wall, twenty-two bottles of Dust! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-one bottles of Dust on the wall!"

"Is she gonna shut up?" growled Marston.

"When she gets to zero, maybe," moaned Ryuko. For a while, she had convinced herself that being stuck on a horse's rear end could be a lot worse. It's warm, she had said. And it's soft. However, Ryuko quickly realized that her mind had been lying. Well, it was warm. Soft was a thing it was not.

I swear one of these days I'm going to make sure Twilight has to do this. Or would that come off as kind of weird? Like, would that be kind of sexual? Would she consider a horse like this to be an equal, or of a lesser species? Would she speak its language? What do they use in her world instead of horses? People?

"She got to zero once already," the bounty hunter hissed, looking back over his shoulder at Adam and Ruby's silhouettes in the night. "She just started over."

"Because that's how the song goes, dummy," yelped Ruby. "Now, what number was I at? Twenty? Twenty one? Guess I'll have to head on back to ninety-nine bottles of Dust on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of Dust!"

"Goddamn it, we're here!" roared Marston, pointing at a sign ahead of them in the dark. It was illuminated by fading incandescent bulbs, the once-bright lettering stating that Weston was "a friendly place."

"I have never been so happy to be thrown in jail," sighed Ryuko.

"Oh, Ryuko! You never told us you'd been in jail before," exclaimed Ruby.

"Yeah, I'll tell you that story, later," she huffed.

"Five more minutes, John. Five more minutes," whispered Marston, commanding his horse to the steps of a medium-sized building with a proper door. He dismounted the horse, threw Ryuko over his shoulder, and used his free hand to knock on the door. After a pause, it opened, revealing a short, scrawny man with an equally-wiry moustache.

"I've got a bounty here, on one Ryuko Matoi," barked Marston. "And I got a few accomplices, too."

"O-oh," mumbled the thin man. "It'll be a while before I've got the paperwork done- can you come back in the morning? I'll get it to you then."

Marston narrowed his eyes. "If you're trying to pull something, you'll regret it."

"I ain't, I ain't!" trembled the man. "I just gotta confirm that you were the one who brought in the bounty, when, I gotta put their information on file, and I gotta write up your receipt to take to the bank so you can get your coin, that's all, honest."

"Fine. But you better be locking 'em up right now."

"Oh, yes, sir," said the thin man. Marston plucked Ryuko off his shoulder and dumped her into the thin man's arms before turning and walking away. The man struggled to hold her for a moment before setting her on the floor in exhaustion.

"Oh, geez, you're- I can't carry you around like that," he wheezed. "Can you just… walk to your cell? I mean, I'll shoot you if you don't, I swear to God, I'm just a little out of shape, you see."

Ryuko blinked.

"Uh… yeah. You want to untie me?"

The man knelt down and undid her restraints. Ryuko stood up and waved Ruby and Adam in, who had been standing at the doorway idly.

"I'm going to need any weapons or tools you might have on your person," he explained. Ruby handed Ryuko the collapsed Crescent Rose, and ten magazines of ammunition. Ryuko fumbled with the heavy equipment and eventually dumped it onto his desk, removing her shrunken Scissor Blade from a pocket and adding it to the pile.

"So… some cells?"

"Oh, they're uh, down the ways a bit. Here-" he said, picking up his revolver from a paper-cluttered desk. "I'll show you."

He led them at gunpoint down a narrow hall and around a corner to a part of the building made of sturdy-looking concrete. Eight-foot by eight-foot cells lined the walls, all empty. The man ushered them to the end of the row, drew a key from his belt, and unlocked three gated doors.

"You know, I think you all are the most polite prisoners we've ever had," he noted.

"Wow. That really means a lot," scoffed Ryuko, wandering into her cell. The man shut the door behind her and locked it, walking across the hall to lock Ruby's cell, and stepping to the side to secure Adam's.

"Now, don't y'all try anything. Maybe I can get you out early on good behavior."

He left the prison wing, shutting a door behind him.

Ryuko… have you been in jail before?

No. But I've watched enough movies to know what to do.

"Hey, psst," whispered Ruby. "Ryuko! What did you do when you were in jail?"

"I learned stuff," replied Ryuko smugly, finding the small arrangement of wooden planks that composed what might be generously called a bed and lowering herself onto it.

"Like what?"

"Don't drop the soap."

"Aw, man," hissed Ruby. "I hate it when that happens!"

"Ryuko, you said you had a plan," whispered Adam.

"That's right. I still do. This is part of it. Tomorrow morning, you're gonna learn the rest."

"So… you mean we're going to have to spend the night here? We're not gonna bust out?!"

"Go to sleep, Ruby," groaned Ryuko, closing her eyes.

In a surprising twist, the tiny jail cell's bunk was far more comfortable than the horse had been. The concrete walls made the room cold, but Senketsu's cloth remained warm enough to keep her comfortable- Life Fibers were very nice to have around, sometimes. She drifted off into much-needed sleep, and dreamed the same dreams she usually did- half surreal visions of her mother exploding, over and over, half Suzuki B-Kings.

"What I wouldn't give for a B-King," she mumbled, realizing that she was awake. She opened her eyes and looked around- everything seemed like it had been. She was about to go back to sleep when she heard what must have woken her up before. A cell door a few down from her slammed shut. Voices discussed something a little more loudly than she would have liked. Against her own will, she listened in.

"Well, yeah, but, I've got to do this paperwork. If you come by tomorrow morning, I'll have it done, and you can take your receipt."

It was the thin man from before, who Ryuko concluded thanks to her partially-recharged brain was the town's Sheriff. Two other voices replied to him.

"Make it quick. We're busy people," grunted the first, a gravelly voice projected from fairly high-quality speakers. Ryuko had heard that voice before, it was the man that most people called Chief.

"And you wouldn't believe how long it took us to bring him in," said the second. It was also familiar, female, arrogant, lilting. It was the lady who called herself the Ghost of the Chozo, who was his… girlfriend? Daughter-figure? Ryuko hadn't really been paying attention during the last fight they were in. She watched to cool alien-killing bits, though. They were pretty tough, especially working together. Clearly, they had collected a bounty, just like Marston had. But who would have given them that much trouble? Not anyone Ryuko could think of, other than herself, of course. Maybe Alucard? Doubtful, they'd both be dead if they had crossed him.

"Well, I'm glad you did, though. You'll get your coin tomorrow, as promised," assured the Sheriff.

"We had better," barked Chief, the sounds of heavy metal boots clanking away indicating the departure of himself and Samus.

So the bounty's price was the coin? Damn, that screws up my plan quite a bit. But they're not going to be able to get that until tomorrow morning, or if that guy finishes his paperwork. So there's time to plan around that. Senketsu, wake me up as soon as it's light, or if you hear those guys come back.

Of course, Ryuko.

Thanks. No, mom, it's just a bike… no, it's not a phase, it's who… I really am.

Something tickled her nose, and she was obligated to swat at it. It came back, and she swatted it away again. The third time, she opened her eyes and found Senketsu's necktie poking her.

Ryuko, you told me to wake you up.

"Sorry, buddy," she groaned, propping herself up with an elbow. The jail cells across the way had barred windows, which were beginning to let in a little purple-orange morning light. She rubbed her eyes and, with a great deal of effort, convinced herself to get out of bed. Ryuko knelt on the filthy floor and picked a few clods of mud that had been caked there by previous visitors (though she wondered if there really had been previous visitors). With a careful hand, she tossed one between the bars and into Ruby's cell, hitting the sleeping girl squarely in the forehead. She leapt from her bunk and was about to start screaming when she noticed Ryuko's death glare and index finger raised to her lips.

"We've got a visitor," whispered Ryuko, tilting her head to her right, which was Ruby's left. "What's he look like?"

Ruby craned her neck to the edge of her cell.

"Normal-looking guy. Still asleep."

"Okay. I'm going to wake Adam up and I'll explain the plan. Quietly."

Ryuko tossed a second clod and the giant awakened from his slumber, looking annoyed. Ryuko gave him the be-quiet gesture as well, and after a moment of contemplation, he nodded and sat at attention on the floor of his cell.

"Okay. Here's the plan," explained Ryuko. "We were stuck in the middle of nowhere. Mr. Marston conveniently helped us out with that by taking us to a major town, Weston. He did that in exchange for one of the coins we need to win this round. It's currently in the bank here, so we need to get it before he does."

"So, are we gonna bust out?" asked Ruby.

"Yes, but, hold on, I'll get there. There's a bit of a problem. You see, last night, Master Chief and Samus-"

"Oh, man those two are so cool when they work together!" giggled Ruby. "I wish I had a cool suit of power armor like that! Then I could say cool one-liners like, 'FINISH THE FRIES', or 'HEY, BLAKE, SCREW YOU' and then I'd totally impale her with a power drill, I mean, if we were enemies and we were like on Mars or something."

"Second thing I learned in jail: shut up or get shivved."

Ruby was quiet after that. Ryuko cleared her throat and continued.

"Master Chief and Samus brought that guy in, and apparently the reward is the very same coin that Marston's after. The Sheriff's played them both."

Adam nodded. "The parties are due to come into conflict at the same time, at this location. Such an altercation may provide sufficient cover for our escape."

"Bingo," smiled Ryuko. "Now, look out your windows."

Ruby hopped up to grab the bars and hoisted herself to look through them. Adam simply stood.

"It's the rest of the town," noted the artificial man.

"That's right. See the bank anywhere?"

"Umm… yeah! It's just across the way!" yelped Ruby.

"Perfect," grinned Ryuko. "Memorize where it is, because we're not going to have long to get there when stuff starts hitting the fan."

"What are we going to do about…" Ruby tilted her head to the left. "-him?"

Ryuko shrugged. "Leave him, I guess. I mean, if he's actually crazy or something I sure wouldn't want to have to deal with him when we're trying to escape, right?"

"Okay," said Ruby, sounding a little disappointed.

A distant knock silenced them.

"This is it," whispered Ryuko. "Get ready."

The front door of the Sheriff's office opened slowly. A weary-looking Sheriff peered up at Marston.

"Mornin'," he groaned.

"It'll be a good morning if you've got my receipt," countered the bounty hunter.

"I do, I do," grumbled the Sheriff. He limped back to his desk, rummaged around in the papers, and drew one which he handed to Marston. Marston snatched it, looked it over, then folded it and stuffed it into one of his vest pockets.

"I appreciate it, partner," he growled unappreciatively. He turned from the door to find his path blocked with a living wall of metal, wrapped in a heavy canvas cloak.

"Haven't seen you around before," grunted John-117, looking down at the comparatively small man in front of him.

"Same goes for you," scowled the other John.

"You were just talking with the Sheriff, weren't you?" asked Samus, her helmet tucked under an arm. "You wouldn't happen to know if he's got our receipt ready, would you?"

"I don't know nothing 'bout yours, but I've got mine," snickered Marston, drawing the folded up paper and waving it a safe distance away from them. "Good for one gold coin."

Samus raised an eyebrow maliciously. "Funny, that's what ours was supposed to be for."

Master Chief pulled his pistol from his cloak, pointing it down toward Marston's head.

"So you thought you could get away with stealing our bounty? What put that kind of crazy idea in your head?"

"Far as I know, I didn't steal anything," huffed Marston, undeterred. "I collected a bounty on Ryuko Matoi."

"Matoi… no, that's not who we brought in," thought John-117 aloud.

"Well, real sorry," snorted Marston, stepping past the power-armored warriors. "But I guess you're outta luck."

"Samus, go get some answers from the Sheriff," barked Master Chief. "I need to have a word with that guy."

"Sure thing, Chief," smiled Samus, clipping her helmet back on and coiling into her Morph Ball, which exploded through the office's front door and deposited the Ghost of the Chozo onto the Sheriff's desk.

"All right, you two-timing space-weasel-"

Samus quickly realized as the dust began to clear that the Sheriff did not appear to be in his office. In his place, on his chair, was a half-packed suitcase.

Samus became aware of a sound coming from the floor above, and after locating the stairwell, charged up to investigate.

"Now's our chance," whispered Ryuko, pulling her ear from the cell's wall. She grabbed the iron bars closing her in and twisted them apart, stepping though the gap. She then sprinted to Adam and Ruby's cells and freed them likewise.

"Let's get out of here, Senketsu," said Ryuko to her uniform.

Right, Senketsu replied. Ryuko pulled the bolt across her glove, which emitted an explosion of pink energy, fading into wispy sparkles as her transformation completed.

"LIFE FIBER SYNCHRONIZE, KAMUI SENKETSU!"

"Well, it's nice that you can do that and get all naked and everything," mumbled Ruby bashfully, "But I'm kind of useless without Crescent Rose."

"I've got you covered," smirked Ryuko, snapping her now-gloved fingers. The wooden door to the jail wing burst into pieces as Crescent Rose and its spare ammunition crashed through, flying through the air into Ruby's hands.

"H-How?" stammered the huntress.

"When we were giving up our weapons, I managed to slip a single Life Fiber from Senketsu around all of our gear. All it took was a tug to get it all back," Ryuko replied, raising an open hand to catch her Scissor Blade, which expanded to its usual size. "Now, if you guys would just step aside."

Ruby and Adam complied, allowing Ryuko to make a brief movement with the weapon, which ripped the wall between them and the rest of the town into large concrete chunks.

"Follow me," instructed Ryuko, sprinting away. Adam began to follow, but quickly noticed that Ruby was not. She was instead looking back into the jail.

Adam turned and rushed back to his friend. "Ruby, what is wrong?"

"It's just, that guy. We don't know him or anything, but… it'd be wrong to just leave him there," explained the huntress.

"Are you suggesting we free him?"

"Yeah. We're gonna get him out of there."

Adam was about to protest, but Ruby had already disappeared in a cloud of rose petals. Begrudgingly, Adam ran back into the jail. The Huntress was already at the stranger's cell.

"Hey, excuse me, mister? I'm going to let you out."

Adam pulled Ruby aside gently.

"Ruby, I am not sure this is such a good idea."

"I know… but it's the right thing to do. Besides, he looks pretty harmless."

Adam took a look at the man who was cowering in the corner of his cell. Ruby was right- he was thin, perhaps in his late thirties, with curly brown hair and glasses. He wore no armor, nor any weapons- just a ragged-looking white shirt and a pair of threadbare jeans.

"Fine," sighed Adam, ripping the cell door from its hinges.

"Th-thank you," stammered the man. "I don't like confined spaces."

"Who does?" giggled Ruby.

"Finally got you," roared Samus, clutching the Sheriff by the neck as she dragged him back into the office. "You thought you could dupe us and skip town? You're out of your-" she noticed the lack of a door between the office and the jail wing, and also noticed her bounty running out of his cell.

"Oh, no, you-"

"What?" strained the Sheriff from his headlock. Samus answered his question by tightening her grip and snapping his neck, tossing his body aside and transforming her armor into its Morph Ball mode.

Adam was unsure about having the stranger follow them, but he really did seem harmless. They had made it about halfway to the bank, with their new companion keeping up surprisingly well, when a bronze orb skidded directly into their path and unfolded into a large suit of power armor.

"Stop right there!" shouted Samus, leveling her Arm Cannon at the trio. Adam and Ruby halted fast enough that their fellow prisoner collided into them from behind. Samus leapt forward, and much to their surprise, grabbed only the now-dazed man, tucking him under her arm.

"Do you kids have any idea what you're doing?" she cried.

"Standing between you and the gold coin?" asked Adam.

"Running towards a bank?" suggested Ruby.

"No, not that," grunted Samus. "If I wanted to, I could bust in there and get the coin myself. I was actually trying to do a bit of good by locking up this guy- the reward wasn't my priority!"

Ruby raised an eyebrow dryly. "Really?"

"Okay, maybe not," conceded the bounty hunter. "But my point still stands. Do you even know who this guy is?"

"No," admitted Adam and Ruby simultaneously.

"Then it's a good thing I've got him now. No doubt you would've made him angry at some point. I just hope there's a few cells left in that jail so I can-"

Samus stopped talking when she noticed that the man slung under her arm was giggling.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Heh… I don't want to go back in jail," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry, Bruce- I know you're not a bad guy, but-"

"If you would have just left me alone in the first place, none of this would have happened," he sighed. "But if you think you can solve things like that, there's only one thing left for me to do."

Ruby poked her companion's arm. "Adam, do you have any idea what's going on?"

"Nein."

"Neither do I."

Samus was rapidly becoming more flustered.

"Don't you start with that 'one thing left to do' stuff- you're not even pissed off yet!"

"Oh, Miss Aran, don't you get it?" grinned Bruce. "I'm always angry."

She dropped him and leapt back, bracing the Arm Cannon with her free hand.

"Get back," she screamed. "He's gonna transform!"

"Transform?" asked Ruby.

Bruce's body began to swell, ripping his shirt off to reveal expanding, pallid-green flesh.

"Oh, transform," repeated the Huntress. "I get it."

Bruce now towered over even Adam, his massive green body impossibly muscled. Somehow, his jeans remained on.

"If he gets angry, this happens," warned the bounty hunter. "And then he just gets stronger if he gets angrier! It was nearly impossible for me and Chief to bring him in last time!"

"Just like Ryuko," breathed Adam.

"BLONDIE NOT 'BRING IN' HULK AGAIN," roared Bruce, wrapping a gigantic hand around her midsection and flinging her into the sky fast enough that she quickly disappeared from their vision.

"Yeah, I think she'll have trouble with that," Ruby agreed.

Bruce immediately fell back onto his haunches in an incredibly bulky and rage-filled version of sitting. Hot and heavy breaths were ejected at regular intervals from his nostrils as his eyes danced about, as if searching for something.

"Fascinating," Adam remarked. "It seems that he is attempting to calm himself down, and perhaps revert to his human form."

A shout from behind them broke his concentration.

"Hey, guys!" yelled Ryuko, bursting the bank's wall. "I grabbed the coin, even without your help! Now let's get the hell out-"

Upon sighting Bruce, she froze.

"What the hell is that?"

Bruce pushed himself up off the ground, which nearly created a small tremor, and turned towards Ryuko, slowly advancing towards her.

"The, uh, normal-looking guy," whimpered Ruby.

"Ah. I see," said Ryuko. "Well he certainly does not look very normal now."

"Nope!"

"With all those muscles of yours I assume you're a pretty strong guy, aren't you?" Ryuko was completely enveloped by the shadow of the monstrous man that stood in front of her.

"HULK IS STRONGEST THERE IS!"

"The strongest, huh? And I bet you want to prove that by taking this coin, right?" she asked, drawing the simple gold disc from the thin strip of cloth that composed Senketsu's 'skirt'.

"HULK NOT WANT COIN! HULK WANT TO SMASH PORCUPINE!"

With that, he brought down his two massive fists in a double axe-handle. Ryuko barely had time to replace the coin and raise her Scissor blade in defense, the weapon taking the attack instead of her skull. While no clouds hung in the air, the sound of thunder could be heard as the impact drove a crater into the ground.

"Again with the hedgehog stuff?!" groaned Ryuko, struggling to keep the Scissor Blade aloft.

Ryuko! His strength is incredible! Don't let your guard down!

I wasn't planning on it, Senketsu.

"Why did he attack? He seemed to be quite calm once he got rid of Samus," wondered Adam.

"Maybe he sensed how strong Ryuko was," suggested Ruby. "I mean, she's really tough! If he wanted to prove that he's the strongest, he'd definitely have to get her out of the way!"

"That leads us to ein klienes problem. We know that Bruce's transformation was triggered by anger, and that he becomes stronger as his anger increases. We also know that Ryuko has a similar anger-driven transformation."

Ruby's eyes widened. "And it tried to kill us last time..."

"Correct. I would not think it wise to allow this battle to continue."

"But… how are we gonna stop them?"

"SENKETSU SHIPPU!"

Ryuko's outfit contorted into its flight mode, its boosters filling the crater with white-hot exhaust. She slowly began to press upwards against the Hulk's arms, lifting them back above his head until her feet were at head-level with the monster.

"I am not a porcupine!" she roared, driving a kick into his chin. The Hulk exploded backwards, ripping through a building that probably was an inn, and plowed into the desert.

"Guhh," grumbled the Hulk, picking himself out of the dirt. The little porcupine was very strong- but not stronger than him, he was certain. He noticed something shiny in the distance, approaching him quickly.

"I'm gonna finish this right here!" screamed Ryuko, diving towards her target at full speed. "SCISSOR BLADE, DECAPITATION MODE!"

The Scissor Blade did as it was told and extended to its full length. She charged ahead at maximum burn, sized up her opponent, swung the sword, and came to a violent stop. The Hulk had wrapped his fingers around the weapon, and looked inquisitively at Ryuko, who now dangled from the Scissor Blade's handle.

"PORCUPINE NOT CUT HULK. HULK STRONGER THAN PORCUPINE!"

The Hulk then smashed the blade's handle into the ground, taking the porcupine with it. Or so the Hulk thought, until he felt something land on his shoulders. The face of the porcupine lowered itself into his vision upside-down.

"But not faster. And I ain't sold on that 'stronger' thing either."

Ryuko performed a front-flip off of his shoulders and landed facing him, having returned Senketsu to his standard combat mode. She drew her Scissor Blade from the earth and collapsed it into its storage-friendly size, which she deposited into her skirt along with the coin.

"If I can't cut you, I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way."

The Hulk roared in response, winding up his right fist into an oversized haymaker. Ryuko adjusted her footing and opened her arms, catching the attack. Her heels dug into the ground as she slid backward across the dirt, but Ryuko remained standing.

"Nice try, buddy," she growled, using her grip on the giant's arm to fling him backwards over her head. He landed face-up, dazed, which left her with an opening. "But now it's my turn!"

She leapt into the air with a backflip, and drew back her fist.

"RYUKO SMASH!"

Senketsu fired up his boosters, propelling her punch down into the Hulk with enough force to create a several-story-high cloud of loose dirt. Ruby suppressed her excitement and replaced it with mature concern.

"We can't let them keep fighting like this," she said, making a beeline for the explosive melee.

"Agreed," huffed Adam, following closely behind.

Ryuko folded her arms across her chest triumphantly. Knocking the wind out of the creature had seemed to work, as it no longer was thrashing about.

"Looks like I'm the strongest," she taunted, accentuating her superiority with a heel stomp. This caused the giant's arms to immediately leap back to life and seal around her, forming walls of green muscle that began to creep closer.

"HULK CRUSH STUPID PORCUPINE! HULK STRONGEST THERE IS!"

"Can't-ugh-breathe," Ryuko gasped.

But there is something we can do, Ryuko.

"Right-ngh! SENKETSU SENJIN!"

The Hulk roared and retracted his arms in pain, wrenching them away from the sharp red spikes that had suddenly grown from Ryuko's body.

"What's the matter, big guy?" sneered Ryuko, standing back up. A few droplets of something green rolled down the blades that extended from her wrists. "I thought you said I couldn't cut you."

The Hulk leaped up, displacing Ryuko onto the dirt once more. He slid backwards and slammed his fists into the ground with a mighty bellow.

"HULK NOT CARE! HULK SMASH PORCUPINE EVEN IF PORCUPINE IS SHARP!"

"You know, the way you keep getting back up is really startin' to piss me off," Ryuko snarled, jets of steam escaping her outfit.

"Friendship-saving ultimate slap attack gooooooo!"

Though it was almost unnoticeable, the pricking of a hand across Ryuko's face was enough to distract her from her opponent. She lifted a hand to her cheek, and found Ruby standing at her side.

"Wha- Ruby?"

"Ryuko, you need to stop, now. You're gonna drive yourself crazy, like last time… and me and Adam don't want to see that happen."

"Y-yeah, but… who else is going to get rid of this guy?"

Adam stepped forward, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"Ruby and I have developed a strategy that should allow us to overcome Mr. Bruce's strength."

"Well, okay, I'm all-"

"Ryuko, we can't let you fight him," said Ruby. "We're going to take care of this. If we let him out… we've got to put him down."

"Oh. Oh. Um, okay," mumbled Ryuko, de-synchronizing with Senketsu. "I'll, uh… wait over there." She pointed towards a rock and began to walk towards it.

"Ryuko seems a bit upset," noted Adam.

"Yeah. She really likes to prove that she's stronger than anybody… just like Mr. Hulk!"

"Indeed. Thankfully, once we disable that green menace, there should be no other similar threats."

"Yep!" grinned Ruby. "I can't think of anybody who just travels around challenging people to test their strength! Nobody at all!"

Adam gave her a concerned glance. "Ruby, why are you emphasizing those words?"

"I have no idea!" bubbled the Huntress.

"HULK WANT TO FIGHT PORCUPINE!" roared Bruce.

Ruby shook her head. "Too bad! You get to fight us now!" She drew Crescent Rose, extended the weapon into its scythe form, and jammed a fresh magazine into the receiver. "Because we're pretty darn strong, too!"

"HULK NOT WANT TO FIGHT RIDING HOOD AND YELLOW HULK. WANT TO FIGHT PORCUPINE!"

"Now, to change his mind," whispered Adam. "A warning shot."

Ruby lowered her scythe and fired an entire magazine at the giant, sliding backward with every shot. She dropped the empty mag out of the weapon and replaced it with a fresh one, running back to Adam's side.

"How was that?" she asked.

"A warning shot is singular," groaned Adam. The Hulk reached up to his forehead and removed something very small compared to his huge fingers, and a small darker-green spot began to appear.

"Uh… oh," Ruby squealed.

"RIDING HOOD SHOT HULK! NOW HULK MORE ANGRY!"

"That certainly attracted his attention," Adam sighed.

"Great! Let's kick his butt!"

"I doubt such a maneuver will be effective."

Ruby spun her scythe to face the opposite direction and fired twice, which flung her into a high-speed dash toward the giant. Adam took off in a comparatively-slow sprint, still covering far more ground than any human would have.

The Huntress reached the target first, lifting Crescent Rose to catch the Hulk's armpit inside its blade. Her momentum swung her off the ground and onto his shoulder, where she landed on one foot.

"'Scuse me! Mr. Hulk! I have a question!" she called, causing the monstrous Bruce to twist his neck towards her.

"So what's up with my nickname?" she asked candidly. "I mean, Ryuko is porcupine, makes sense, 'cause she's all spikey. And Adam looks kinda like you but a little more refined and stitch-y and stuff, but 'Riding Hood'? Really? That's the best you could come up with?"

The Hulk responded by emitting a bestial howl, replete with saliva, which Ruby wiped off of her face with a sleeve.

"You know, I don't think you're very creative."

The Hulk was about to pluck her from his shoulder and rip her in half when something caved in his stomach- a downward glance revealed it to be Adam's fist.

"That is quite enough," he stated, spinning the stunned Hulk in place by his shoulders as Ruby leaped clear. Once the creature's back faced him, Adam locked his arms around Bruce's midsection and twisted backwards, plowing the Hulk's head into the ground. Adam released his grip, rolled back to his feet, and began to backpedal.

"Now, Ruby!" he called, keeping his eyes fixed on the monster. "This won't keep him dazed for more than a minute! Get all the distance you can!"

"Got it, Adam!" replied Ruby, who took off in the opposite direction. Both warriors charged away from the Hulk at full speed, until they were nearly specks on the horizon from where Ryuko sat.

"What the hell are they up to?"

Adam continued to sprint away. He knew that the most critical distance for this operation was between him and his foe- it had to be as great as possible. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw the Hulk's massive frame begin to stir, the effects of the suplex wearing off.

Not yet. A little further.

Ruby skidded to a halt a few meters from Ryuko.

"OKAY!" she shouted. "I'M IN POSITION!"

"Position for what?" asked Ryuko.

"The attack, duh," scoffed Ruby. "It's a new one me and Adam came up with."

"It's not like that… fastball thing, is it?"

"No, no, kinda the opposite! You'll see."

"I AM READY!" echoed the voice of Adam in the distance. The Hulk began to pick himself up, rising from the ground with more anger in his glowing-green eyes than ever.

"Then let's shift into turbo!" giggled Ruby, pointing her scythe behind her again and propelling herself forward with a few more carefully-timed shots. She loved the feeling of speed, the embrace of inertia. Their combination was an amazing, unlikely combination. Speed was so unpredictable, so violent, so dangerous. On the other hand, the momentum objects possessed as they travelled at those speeds- it would always carry along in the same way. It was reliable. Once one learned to use the predictable nature of inertia to control such extreme speeds, an entire world balanced on razor-wire opened up, and it was wonderful. It was while exploring that speed that Ruby had discovered her Semblance, perhaps an even greater gift than naturally-occurring velocity. She could feel the magic pulsing within her very soul, always eager to go faster. When she agreed to turn up the speed… that's when the fun started. She gave into that acceleration-craving pulse as she sprinted, and felt it began to work its wonders. In the span of a few nanoseconds, the distances between the places she had been and the place she was now began to climb from a handful of meters to a few dozen meters, the ground beneath her feet shifting from a dry, cracked wasteland into a featureless brown sea. The Hulk swelled from a tiny thing she could squeeze between her fingers and became a vast obstruction blocking her view ahead. And with a very small adjustment to her own inertia- a foot placed at an ever-so-slightly different angle- he was left far behind.

For a moment, the monster seemed confused. Riding Hood was going to hit him, right? Then, why didn't she? He turned to watch her race away, but something small and light struck his cheek. He turned back and was bombarded by thousands of rose petals, carried along by an unseen force. Hulk began to feel that force, at first a gentle nagging, then a steady pull, and finally a vast hurricane-like push, knocking him off of his feet and into the air. He fell backwards, but never hit the ground, hovering slightly above the desert's surface as he began to speed along in the direction that the girl had run.

Adam saw the trail of dust begin to rise towards him. That was his cue. He leaned forward into an all-out sprint, pushing his body to its limits. He felt the seams that held him together strain under the pressure of his movements, but he was certain they would hold. They would not be under such stress for long. They would be, however, if he missed; of that he was certain. He could not miss. He began to make out the thin silhouette of Ruby at the head of the dust cloud that was rocketing his way, and behind her, a great, black form- his target. He would have to be precise, as another chance was unlikely to present itself. He twisted his upper body perpendicular to his direction of motion, curling his right fingers inward to form a fist. Within seconds, he could make out Ruby's hair and clothing separate from her body.

Almost.

Ruby extended her boots forward in mid-gait, digging her heels in as she came within one hundred feet of Adam. The wonderful high of velocity wore off, and she focused on her task with renewed clarity. She extended her left hand and clapped it into the center of Adam's as she passed him- that was the signal he had asked for. She thought it was a little silly that it was essentially a low-five, but she wasn't going to question him. It was mostly his plan, and he was pretty smart about this kind of thing.

The impact against his free hand was his signal- his brain now sent a message to the coiled muscles in his right arm to expand on one side, and contract on another, forcing his fist forward. He had read long ago that some Oriental philosophers claimed that by shouting, one could channel their spirit's energy into an attack. Adam was not usually one to believe in such superstitious claims, but he had seen a fair number of unusual and otherwise inexplicable things since he had arrived here, and was willing to take a few gambles. As his fist hurtled towards its target- and his target hurtled towards the fist, he cried out the most logical statement he could make about the attack.

"EINEM SCHLAG!"

He adjusted the course of his hand slightly- not enough to harm its momentum, as that would ruin the one strike he had- and made sure it would hit exactly where he intended. The massive figure of the Hulk drifted towards him at incredible speed, rolling and twisting in place as it flew. He could see the flashing eyes full of powerless anger hurtle towards him, completely unaware of the carefully-laid plan in motion.

That is your problem, Mr. Bruce. I have few doubts that you are a reasonable human being. But for whatever strength you gain as a monster, without reason, you are doomed.

Ryuko saw it happen first- the trail of dust was suddenly split- a spherical space was knocked out of the very front, which then rapidly expanded, scattering dirt and rose petals alike. The distant shape of the hulking creature's body hung in the air for a moment, as if clinging desperately to the inertia it had collected, then gave up and fell to the ground, absolutely still. Ryuko activated Senketsu and flew toward her allies, skidding to a halt next to Adam. His right arm hung at his side, what little skin had covered his hand previously had now disappeared. He was breathing heavily, but was smiling. The body of the Hulk, on the other hand, was not. A massive dent had caved in his stout, broad nose, which now no longer spat out hot air with each breath.

"Abschlusswirbelwind," declared Adam softly.

"Woo-hoo!" cheered Ruby, leaping for joy as she returned down the long trail of ruts her boots had dug into the ground. "We did it!"

"Yeah, you did," stammered Ryuko. "But how?"

"Simple," gasped Adam. "Ruby's Semblance ability not only allows her to travel at extreme speeds, but creates the side-effect of a powerful low-pressure zone behind her. This zone exhibits a powerful jet-stream effect that draws objects along with it. By giving Ruby enough room to accelerate, she was able to reach a speed where the jet-stream effect was powerful enough to lift and carry Mr. Bruce. By placing a great deal of distance between myself and Mr. Bruce, I was able to achieve my top sprinting speed and punch him at full force. The net velocity of the objects in the collision- namely, my fist and Mr. Bruce's face- caused sufficient central-nervous stress to initiate a loss of consciousness."

Ryuko looked down at the Hulk's body, only to find the normal-looking guy from before, sans shirt and with even rattier-looking jeans.

"And if he's not conscious, he's not angry," she mused. "That's really smart."

"It was a difficult solution for a difficult problem," winced Adam, cradling his hand. "But it was necessary for me to solve it. Ruby and I unintentionally created this predicament."

"No, no," said Ryuko weakly. "This was all my fault. If I hadn't hatched this hare-brained scheme-"

"Actually," Adam refuted, "While you may feel some guilt for foolishly engaging Mr. Bruce, most of your plan was a success. By being arrested by Mr. Marston, we easily located our objective, and you were able to retrieve it with little resistance." He managed a smile through his pain. "Not too bad, ja?"

"I- I guess so," Ryuko shrugged.

Ruby fiddled with the clasps on her shoulders and removed her cloak, carrying it to Adam's side. She began to wrap it around his injured hand until it crept up his arm as a bright-red cloth tourniquet.

"There you go!" she chirped. "Now, we're off to the next town, right?"

"Yeah, but… where? We're in Weston, I know," mulled Ryuko. "But the sun's right overhead- there's no way to tell exactly which way is east or west or north or south from here. So how are we gonna find our way anywhere?"

Far to their left, a gigantic pillar of blue light erupted over the desert, ripping the clouds overhead apart and leaving a whining echo hanging in the air.

"That looks like somewhere," suggested Ruby.