《Paradox Fighters》Paradox Fighters, Part 5-12
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Katniss gave Holly a disbelieving look. "So you just thought that if you did something that looked the same, it would work?"
"Well, no. I understood the principles. You channel ki to enhance your striking speed, then you strike pressure points as fast as possible. I just didn't have the exact order right," Holly explained.
"That, and Dio was completely immune," Ryuko pointed out. "It was a bulletproof strategy!"
"I was trying to buy time for you to escape," replied the elf with a healthy dose of snark. "But somebody figured, oh, gee, let's watch Holly throw all the punches. That'll be safe."
"There is no need for such arguments. Our team won that round. And those events are in the past," said Adam.
"You're right, sighed Ryuko. "Sorry, Holly."
"It's okay. Ruby, where are we at?"
Ruby checked the stop sign on the intersection. "We are currently crossing… Thirty-Fourth street!"
"We're still a ways off, then," sighed Katniss solemnly. The team had been walking for a few hours, and as midday approached, the pavement got hotter and hotter. None of them were out of shape, but walking in the heat was significantly more grueling than walking in the cool of the night. That, and the fear of an ambush by another team kept the group irritable.
Ryuko gave a dismissive wave. "Ah, don't sweat it. We've got this one in the bag."
"I'm not so sure. We did have a bit of a delay," sneered Holly.
"Hey! It's not my fault that we got ambushed by the crazy hair chick and then had to save your asses," Ryuko spat.
"Yeah, but if you didn't run off with your shiny new toy in the first place, we'd have fought Sol off with no trouble!"
"You sure? 'Cause I think he would have pissed me off either way, and you all know how that ended up!"
"To be fair, you wouldn't have run into Sol Badguy if you didn't go into the mall," offered Katniss.
"And exactly whose idea was that, I wonder?" screamed the elf.
"Hey! Don't drag me into the middle of this!" Ruby protested.
"Excuse me," said Adam softly.
"Well, maybe if you were a half-decent fighter, you wouldn't have to worry about relying on me to solve all of our big problems!" Ryuko fumed.
Adam tried to interject again. "There's something that you should-"
"I may not be that strong, but I at least know how to use teamwork to gain the upper hand! The team is at its strongest when we're not split up for our own private adventures!" roared Holly.
"Oh, so I guess your whole 'I'm suspicious of Twilight' thing doesn't count? Or does kicking out our resident brainiac and immortal vampire guy actually improve our chances of winning?"
"Look out!" yelled the artificial man, pulling Holly and Ryuko out of the middle of the street as a massive trail of dust ripped past, shattering windows and uprooting shrubberies from the sidewalk as it went.
"What in Frond's name was that?" asked Holly, bewildered. She did not have to wait long to find out, as the sound of screeching rubber echoed back and the dust trail floated off, revealing a short, blue figure that immediately turned around and rushed back toward them.
"It's coming back!" yelped Ruby. "Save yourselves!"
The team drew their weapons, ready for an imminent attack. What they weren't ready for was the strange creature halting in front of them and waving a greeting to Ryuko.
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"Hey, man!" it chirped. "Long time no see!"
The girl blinked slowly. "Um, hello?"
"What's up with the cold shoulder, dude? Don't you recognize me?"
"Uh…"
"C'mon, Shadow. Don't tell me you're having one of your bouts of amnesia again. You really need to have that looked into."
"I have no idea who you are," Ryuko said flatly. "And I really don't think I'm anybody named Shadow. I'm Ryuko Matoi, and I'm from-"
"Aw man! You think you're a Japanese android this time! That's crazy. Well, I guess I'll have to jog your memory. I'm Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog."
Adam nudged Holly and discretely pointed a finger toward the blue creature as it carried on its discussion with Ryuko. "Look in his hand," he said. "He is carrying a clue." Holly confirmed that within the hedgehog's gloved hand was a wadded-up piece of paper, identical to the two they had collected so far.
"So there's a fox," asked Ryuko, struggling with the concept, "and an… enchilada?"
"Echidna," corrected Sonic. "A spiny anteater."
"Oh, okay."
"See? You're getting' it!"
"You know, I think you're making a serious mistake here," sighed the girl. "I'm not-"
"Oh my goodness!" yelped Holly. "You've figured it out! He was always brooding about where he came from, but you've figured it out!"
"Don't mention it," chuckled Sonic, shooting them a thumbs-up.
"What are you doing?" whispered Ryuko.
"He's got a clue," mouthed Holly in response. "Roll with it."
"Oh, yeah!" started Ryuko. "You know, I think I am beginning to recall some things…"
"Hey, I bet I know exactly what would get you back on the right track. A race."
"A… race," she whimpered. "Just… like old times?"
"Exactly. I'll run, and you can start off by trying to keep up. If you pass me, then you pick the route."
"But how will we know who wins?"
"Winning? Pssh, you'll say you'll win no matter what happens. I'm just in it for the thrill, man."
"No, I'm gonna win," declared Ryuko. "'Cause I'm Shadow, and I'm the best!"
"Typical Shadow," scoffed Sonic. "Let's go!" he said, disappearing in a blue blur.
Ryuko watched the hedgehog speed down the street. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
"He's got a clue!" exclaimed Holly. "Clearly, he's leading a team to one of the VIWs! If they're going to get there, they might win! So go steal it!"
"Oh, okay, I see. Guess you're lucky I'm the fastest one on the team," Ryuko laughed hopping into the air. "Senketsu SHIPPU!" Her outfit converted into its flight form and she blasted off after her quarry.
"Wait…" said Ruby, looking concerned. "If she's gone, then aren't we in the same situation we were before? When we thought we killed her?"
"Aw, crap," moaned Katniss.
Holly nodded. "You're right. But look at us! We've covered a lot of ground without needing Ryuko to fight for us, and we haven't really run into much danger, have we?"
A gigantic blue robot flew into the building to their left, the walls crumbling as it slumped against the frame. Down Thirty Fourth Street, two other huge robots were sparring.
"D'Arvit," swore Holly.
A light bulb went off in Katniss' head. "Wait a minute. Maybe we're not doomed."
Holly rolled her eyes. "Oh, really? Please, tell me how this is not the worst possible situation."
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"What is the only thing as strong as Ryuko?"
"I dunno," replied Ruby. "A jabberwocky?"
Katniss answered her own question for brevity's sake. "A giant robot."
The elf lifted an eyebrow. "Go on."
"As you can see, this robot-" she said pointing to the blue one, which was picking bits of apartment complex out of its armor- "and that other one down there-" she pointed to a tall, black robot with huge arms- "Are both fighting that little red one. I'm willing to bet that if we help either side out, they might owe us a favor."
"You are one manipulative kid," smirked Holly. "And I mean that in the nicest way possible."
"All right!" shouted Ruby. "Let's go make some friends in high places!"
***
Simon slammed into the back of his seat as Gurren Lagann toppled once again. What little his displays had to tell him was bad news. Spiral Energy output was low. Gurren Lagann was one tough machine, but it wouldn't be any good if its pilots were reduced to smears on the inside of their cockpits.
"Simon!" called Kamina's voice over the intercom. "I don't think we can take much more of this!"
"C'mon, bro. We've got to pull through! We can't just give up!"
"But no matter what we try, we- argggh!" Kamina was cut off by another explosion rolling the already-grounded mech onto its faces. They had the misfortune of running into a team of two other large machines, both of whom were putting up much more of a fight than they had anticipated.
The first of the two other robots stomped up behind them. Simon felt Gurren Lagann shift as the other machine's massive hand closed and began to lift them skyward. It was a tall, stocky behemoth, several times Gurren Lagann's size. It was coal-black, and looked a bit like a furnace and a stovepipe too, with lumbering pillars for legs and a single glowing vent in its portly middle. Its huge, lanky arms were like pistons, and atop a tapering neck sat a small, stern-looking helmeted head with inquisitive glowing eyes. The whole thing seemed like an angry steam locomotive.
"Listen up," called its pilot. "This is your last chance at negotiation. I present to you the exact same offer. Abandon your Megadeus, and we will let you live. If you continue to resist, our party, The Hands Of God, Incorporated, will be forced to destroy you and your machine." Simon heard the panels surrounding him begin to groan as the giant hand clamped around Lagann's head began to squeeze.
"Simon! What if they-"
"We're not giving in, Kamina. We're going to keep on fighting until our dying breath- that's how Team Dai-Gurren rolls!"
"If that's the way you want it," snipped the voice of the second machine's pilot. Another barrage of missiles jolted Gurren Lagann, tossing it from the black robot's hand and onto the ground again. The other machine was about as large as the first, a few magnitudes larger than the Gunmen. Its tall, blue, and boxy arms and legs were decorated with a dramatic flame paint job. Currently, several panels in its long limbs had folded open to expose its seemingly endless supply of missiles.
"Come on, Roger," he continued. "They ain't gonna give up. Let's finish 'em right now, before they try and get another good hit in."
"Fine," replied the other pilot. "We could stand another clue anyway." The steam-engine robot's upper body rose on tracks, and a small battery of gunbarrels peeked through the heavy armor.
"Okay, we've got to act fast," commanded Holly. The whole team bore down on the brawling robots, sprinting as quickly as they could. "We need to decide who to support!"
"The red machine appears to be losing," noticed Adam. "Therefore, the combination of the other two must be stronger."
"Nope!" Ruby interjected. "That's the red robot we saw earlier. It's totes radical! We gotta go save it!"
"Any objections?" asked Holly.
"Having one of those things is a good strategy anyway," said Katniss.
Adam shook his head. "I shall concede to Ruby's judgment."
"Okay, we're fighting for the underdog! Ruby, Adam, take the blue one over there! Katniss, you're with me!"
The fighters split into their groups, chasing down their targets. Ruby shielded her eyes with her hand, looking up at the blue robot. "Its head looks a little funny. Different from the rest of it," she said.
"Do you think it may be a weak point?"
"One way to find out!" chirped the girl, who hopped into the air. Adam stretched out his arms just in time to catch her. "This time, we won't miss! FASTBALL!"
"BESONDERE!" Adam bellowed, flinging Ruby with all of his might. The huntress nimbly flipped, placing her back to her target and unfolding Crescent Rose to its full scythe form. A few blasts later, and she had propelled herself all the way to the machine's bus-sized shoulders. With an extended blade, she arrested her movement in time to land gracefully.
"HEY!" called a voice next to her. Ruby looked over and found the startled-looking face of a scruffy, stout man sitting in a cherry-red muscle car.
Ruby put two and two together. "Oh. That's why it looked funny. Its head is a car."
"Yeah, it's a car," barked the man, annoyed. "It's a 1971-"
Ruby silenced him by firing a shot into the air. "I'm just going to chop it off, okay?"
She dropped down to the central body module and placed Crescent Rose's blade along the beefy neck joints, firing the rifle portion of the weapon to drive the scythe through the reinforced metal. This made the man in the car quite distressed. He left his spot in the driver's seat, tumbling out the door clumsily.
"Wait!" he cried. "You can't-"
Adam landed on the car's hood, his broad feet punching holes around the engine block.
"Nope," giggled Ruby. "We will."
The man scrambled back into the car, grabbing the mouthpiece of a CB radio. "ROGER!" he screamed, jolting in his seat as the car's connection to his robot was severed beneath him. "I NEED SOME HELP!"
Roger Smith eased back on his controls, looking up from the red machine. "This is really inconvenient, Coop," he moaned.
"I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MEGAS!" crackled the voice on the other end of the line. "GET OVER HERE!"
"Fine," sighed the negotiator, running a gloved hand through his neatly-gelled hair. He ran one arm forward along Big O's control rails, and the black Megadeus gave his target one last punch before departing to assist his ally.
"They're leaving," breathed Simon with relief.
"And the other guy stopped shooting." Already Kamina sounded more confident.
Simon grinned a fiery grin. "Then let's hit 'em with everything we've got."
"Thanks, Simon," called the voice from below. "I would have given up if it wasn't for you."
"Don't thank me. It was your belief in yourself that let you pull through."
With the final bullet in the magazine, Crescent Rose severed the car from the neck of the robot. Ruby hopped out of the way to load another clip while Adam gave the vehicle a shove, causing it to tumble off of its gigantic perch- its occupant still inside. The two warriors gave each other a congratulatory high-five, and waited for the sound of steel crunching against the pavement.
"Huh," wondered Ruby. "You think it would have gone smush by now."
Suddenly, a massive black pillar rose from in front of the decapitated blue machine, cradling in its steam-engine hands the car they had worked so hard to remove.
"That is not good," stated Adam plainly.
The Megadeus shifted the car to its left hand, curling the right into a fist which it lifted far above its head.
"Hold still," seethed Roger.
"I do not think we should listen to him," whispered the artificial man.
"I'm with you there," concurred Ruby. The two leapt off in time to dodge the meteoric strike that tore through the other machine like it was made of clay. The duo hit the ground running, but as the remaining machine began to pursue them, they realized that they could not outrun something with a 20 meter stride.
"Now I've got you," called the voice of the juggernaut's pilot. It once again slipped its armor up, exposing the bank of cannons. Roger's gloved finger settled on the trigger. "CANNON! PARTY!"
Two explosive arrows simultaneously found their marks in the machine's eyes. It halted its implacable advance, firing a few shots wildly and missing every one. Katniss lowered her bow, collapsing it and latching it onto the back of her armor.
"That's all I can do, Holly. The rest is up to you."
The elf nodded, twirling the arrow Katniss had given her in her hands before slipping it through a loop in her belt. "Just make sure this doesn't go off in my face, okay?" Katniss gave her an OK sign, and she took off toward the black robot, which was now stumbling aimlessly. The tall, cylindrical legs were covered in ornate ridges, which Holly calculated to be just big enough to support her fairy body. She leapt onto the machine's left foot as it passed and immediately clung to it as tightly as she could. It was no use to try and start climbing while the leg was in motion. As soon as it put its leg down, however, Holly leapt up and snagged the edge of the calf armor, beginning to pull herself up. She caught a glimpse of something red swing past, and turned to see a vintage muscle car hanging at her level. A very concerned-looking human sat in the driver's seat, scrambling for an archaic radio receiver.
"Roger? Roger! One's climbing on your left leg!" he cried. "Shake 'em off!"
"D'Arvit," swore Holly as the surface she was climbing on began to pitch violently. Her hand slipped from a protruding rivet and had to jam itself into a cooling vent in order to prevent a catastrophic fall.
If it keeps shaking like this, I won't be able to hold on. Then again, if I play my cards right, maybe I won't have to…
Holly stopped her attempts to advance up the robot's leg. She found another handhold and locked herself in place.
"No, no," gasped Coop into his radio. "They're still on there! Shake harder!"
Perfect, thought the elf. In order for him to shake harder, he'll have to switch from lateral to vertical movement. And if he's shaking his leg down…
The metal underneath her rocketed downward before slamming into the ground. Holly's fingers began to loosen their grip.
He'll eventually bring it back up.
The robot yanked its leg up, and Holly chose that instant to release her grip. She was flung upward, up into the robot's heavy skirt armor. She snagged a loose-hanging cable and abruptly stopped her brief, violent flight. Ahead of her was her goal- the machine's hip joint. She rocked herself forwards and back, building up momentum. There was nowhere for her to stand near the joint, so she would have to achieve her goal on the fly, in one go.
You've got it, Holly. Just go for it.
She released herself from the cable, flying toward the joint. Holly drew the arrow from her belt, jammed it into the crevice of the ball-and-socket assembly, and dropped toward the ground. As the leg of the robot raced by, she made sure to wave to the poor, poor man in his car. Today was just not his day. A mere second before hitting the ground, Katniss tackled her out of the air, and the two rolled and skidded along the street for a few feet before stopping.
"Get it?" grunted the human girl.
"Yeah," gasped Holly, a little surprised that Katniss had managed to catch her as planned. She had been certain that she was going to break a few bones on landing.
"Detonate," commanded Katniss, and the thermite arrow jammed into the robot's joints exploded into superheated flame. Katniss tossed the elf under her arm and rushed away.
"Hey, man! You got 'em!" cheered Coop excitedly. "They're running away."
"Great," said Roger. "But I'm still flying blind and you've lost Megas."
"Well, I can guide you through the radio. Dude, it'll be awesome!"
"Yeah. Awesome. Sure. Just guide me back to the guys we were fighting before these annoying little-"
"They just dug underground, man. Behind you."
The Megadeus swung around, but its pilot quickly realized that one of his machine's legs was not working properly. Unable to complete its turn, the machine plummeted forwards onto its face.
"What?! Big O, what's wrong?"
Roger strained at the controls, trying to lift the robot back to its feet, but to no avail. Panicked, injured-sounding cries came over the radio from his ally, but his own disbelief drowned them out.
How? How could we lose? They were on foot!
A hideously loud grinding noise ripped through the cockpit as the dim red lighting cut out. Gurren Lagann stood victoriously in the hole it had formed through the center of their foe, holding its Giga Drill aloft.
"Good thinking, Kamina," said Simon with a proud smile.
"Every time we attacked it before, it defended with its arms. But when it fell, it couldn't use them. We tunnel up underneath, and BAM! I have to say I took a little inspiration from you, though, Simon. You really have grown up."
"Thanks, bro. But remember, in and out of Gurren Lagann, we're equals. Don't keep on praising me. I wouldn't be where I am now without you."
"Wow. Such fraternity," laughed Holly, approaching the wrecked robot with Katniss. Ruby and Adam ran up to join them.
"Hello, down there!" shouted Simon through Gurren Lagann's loudspeaker. "You're not planning on fighting, are you?"
"Not with you," replied Holly. "Not after all the trouble we went through to save you."
"Save us?" bellowed Kamina. "Like we needed saving!"
"We did need saving," corrected Simon. "Our strategy of picking the strongest possible guys to fight isn't exactly a safe one."
"But it is MANLY!" Kamina added.
Simon nodded. "That it is."
"Manly or not, we've got two clues and no giant robot!" yelled Ruby. "And you guys are the coolest and should totally join us!"
A comet of pink energy exploded into the ground next to Team Mockingjay, causing quite the scare. However, once a familiar black outfit began to crawl out of the dust, everyone calmed down. Ryuko held a crumpled piece of paper above her head.
"Three… clues," she strained, clearly out of breath.
A collective cheer went up from the team.
"How did that go?" asked Katniss.
"Never… again," heaved the girl. Holly raised her arm to pat Ryuko's shoulder.
"Thanks. You know, I'm sorry about earlier. I've made my fair share of bad decisions, and I understand that everybody needs their own working space."
"Yeah," sighed Ryuko. "And I understand that we need to respect each other's choices for the good of the team as a whole."
"So are you two going to get along now?" asked Katniss. Both parties nodded. "Good. Now give each other a hug."
Ryuko picked up Holly and wrapped her in a bear hug, the elf struggling in vain to escape.
"Simon, are you seeing this?" salivated Simon, staring at his viewscreens.
"Bro, I see it all right. What in the world is she wearing?"
"And they're all hugging now! That's one step away from pillowfights in pajamas, man!"
Simon turned on his loudspeaker.
"Uh, yeah. We'll accept your offer and join your team. Clearly you've got a really, really good thing going there."
"Wait, they're joining the team?" asked Ryuko.
"Yeah," said Ruby. "While you were gone we decided that we needed a giant robot. That's why we got into this fight."
"And so we're just bringing on these total strangers?"
"We don't have to be strangers!" yelled Kamina, kicking Gurren Lagann's chest hatch open. "I'm the incredibly manly, astonishingly handsome, and somewhat available Kamina of Team Gurren!"
Ryuko blasted up to eye level with the young man, staring him down.
"Those eyelashes don't look to manly," she noted.
"Well," huffed Kamina, using all of his effort to keep his eyes up there. "Your eyebrows don't look too girly," he retorted.
"It runs in the family," Ryuko growled, and smacked him in the face before floating back to the ground. "Fine," she sighed. "They can stay."
"Good," smiled Holly. "Let's resume our course to the Second Street Ballrooms!"
"We'll keep an eye on your six. I mean, we'll watch your behinds. I mean, we're just going to go on ahead," Kamina announced with a blush.
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