“HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! NO WAY NO WAY—“

“Shut the fuck up, you drunken bastard!”

Pontius Malak gazed out his window to witness a common scene. It had only been a week since that damned adventurer retuned, and no one could ignore him. Certainly, everyone in the pubs treated him like a brother. But to the general populace, he was known only for his nonsensical songs which he sang at odd hours of the day like a queer rooster. The sun had barely risen and it looked as if another citizen was at their limit. Pontius grimaced as he watched the town guards handle the conflict. Fortunately, the Adventurer stubbornly avoided resorting to violence. No matter how many fights he got into, all of them ended the same way. The same way they would have ended if the townsman had picked a fight with a brick wall. Pontius seriously doubted that anyone in town could match the man in brawn, let alone skill. He could count the number of adventurers who challenged the Demon King with two hands. As for how many had returned alive, Pontius only needed one finger.

As the town’s chief, Pontius once held high hopes for this rising star. He was an adventurer who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and took the kingdom by storm. After subjugating an impressive number of monsters alongside his companion, the pair became recognized as platinum-grade adventurers. In under a year, no less. With that honor, they gained the right to challenge the being that posed the largest threat to humanity—the Demon King. From Pontius’s perspective, just returning home alive was reason for praise. However, who would cheer for such a deplorable hero?

“Aiyaa…” Pontius sighed. “If he doesn’t leave soon, people are going to start sending subjugation requests to the guild…”

“Then let’s make sure that he leaves quickly.”

Pontius nearly jumped in surprise. “Celia!? Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“I had no intention to, sir. When I opened the door, I noticed you lost in thought and wondered if I was watching the exact moment when an old man becomes senile.”

“Ha, ha.” Pontius laughed dryly. “So, did you think of a way to deal with our resident bard?”

Celia nodded with a slight smile.

“We simply need to reward him for his service to the kingdom…”

“-So that he can buy more booze?”

“However…” Celia continued. “It would be difficult for a town like ours to pay out of pocket. So, how about we arrange for him to receive his reward in the capital?”

Pontius raised both eyebrows. “We send him away, and without a reason to return…”

“…Our problem will become someone else’s.”

“Excellent work, Celia! I’ll contact the guild master in the capital and ask him to prepare a suitable payment. I’m sure the adventurer’s guild will be eager to hear from the man who survived a fight with the Demon King.”

“Then I’ll tell him the good news.”

“Please do. Make sure he’s eager to leave as soon as possible.”

Celia sighed wistfully. “If only I could get rid of you this easily.”

“Oi, what kind of aide says that in front of her boss?”

“A charming one.” Celia replied with a wry smile.

Pontius released a short sigh. Taking her half-jokes seriously would only give him another migraine.

“You’ll succeed me in time, no point in being hasty. For now, you should focus on charming that adventurer.”

“Consider it done.”

- - -

“No thanks.”

By the time she thought of a response to such a casual rejection, Celia had already witnessed the Adventurer empty two beer glasses. She was the chief’s aide, and no one could call her slow-witted. Instead, it was the Adventurer who was abnormally fast. In the half-minute Celia took to formulate a response, he pounded two beers as if finishing them was his only purpose in life. This fantasy was quickly disproven as he reached for a third.

“Stop drinking and listen to me properly!”

“Drink and ignore you or stop and listen? That’s quite the ultimatum.”

“You think this is some kind of scam, right? Pontius can let you speak with Mr. Aegir before you leave. The two of you can even work out an exact payment.”

“Why would I want to speak to that muscle head of a guild master?”

Celia groaned as she massaged the bridge of her nose. She resisted the urge to pinch her nostrils to avoid the man’s terrible breath.

“So. That. You. Can. Get. Paid.”

The Adventurer’s lush smile grew even wider. Despite his cold attitude, Celia hadn’t seen him without a smile on his face.

“What makes you think I’m in need of gold?”

“You’re asking that as I watch you drink a week’s worth of beer in minutes?”

“Ha ha! True!”

The Adventurer laughed a little too loudly, but it didn’t bother anyone. The entire bar had quieted down the moment Celia entered. Everyone’s ears were already turned towards the pair.

“But…” The Adventurer followed up. “That just means I spend a lot. It doesn’t mean that I need money. I’ve saved up a lot while adventuring. Plus, there’s some treasure that I recovered from the Demon King’s palace. Oh, I’ve also got a decent sword to sell!”

“You can’t be serious…”

“Put all that together and I can likely sustain this life for about half a year. So, I won’t be moving until then.”

“But, but how…you!” Celia sputtered. She froze as she noticed the eye of every patron glued to her person. Celia cleared her throat and straightened her back. “But what will you do after you run out of money?”

The Adventurer shrugged. “IDK.”

“And what does that mean?” Celia cocked her head.

“I-Don’t-Know.”

Celia opened her mouth and then closed it. What could she say to someone so far removed from logic and common sense?

“I’ll…be back tomorrow.”

“Then I have no choice but to stay here until you return.” The Adventurer feigned a scowl as he waved goodbye. “Barkeep! Another, please!”

Celia could feel blood rushing to her cheeks as she retreated. The patrons’ eyes followed her out.

“Heh, he got that prissy good.”

“Bye-bye, Ice Queen.”

“Maybe she’s only good at seducing older men?”

Celia clenched her fists and left quietly. However, the whispering continued. It escalated until one particularly inebriated drunk stood up and began denouncing her loudly. The entire bar cheered. Meanwhile, the Adventurer watched the scene with a puzzled smile.

“So, uh, what’s the deal with that woman?”

“She’s Pontius’s aide, and his adopted daughter.” The barkeep replied. “He’s raising her to be his successor.”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

The barkeep shook his head. “Every town’s chief is supposed to train their successor. It’s just abnormal for an outsider to be chosen. Plus, Pontius picked her up when she was already thirteen, nearly a marriageable age. Everyone seems to think that she seduced the old man for his position.”

“How scandalous.”

“You believe it?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” The Adventurer shrugged. “She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to deny it.”

The barkeep raised an eyebrow, but the Adventurer didn’t continue. His attention was already fixed on the glass before him.

- - -

Pontius left his office with a spring in his step. Negotiations with the guild master had gone well. Almost too well, in fact. Mr. Aegir had talked his ear off about how important and exciting it was to meet a survivor. The two of them also lamented the loss of a talented adventurer, but Mr. Aegir was clearly expecting to learn something from this failure. He was even optimistic about having the survivor lead a new team against the Demon King, and Pontius had to carefully dampen his expectations.

The elderly chief filled a kettle, cast a heating spell, waited, poured some tea and then finally sat down with a satisfied sigh. It was only after doing all of that, that he noticed someone sitting at the other end of the table. The young woman brushed her long blonde hair aside and rest her chin on one hand. Her eyes remained unfocused, not registering his presence. Pontius frowned. It had been a while since he had seen his daughter trapped in her own memories.

“Celia.”

Upon hearing her name, Celia flinched. Pontius pushed a cup towards her.

“Have some tea.”

Celia’s eyes opened wide as she looked around the room. After a quick sip of tea, the aide’s aloof scowl returned.

“My apologies, Pontius. You’re so light these days, I thought another mouse was scurrying about.”

“That’s better.” Pontius nodded sagely. “Your sharp tongue is a talent. As an outsider, the townsfolk are going to walk all over you if you can’t shut them up first.”

“If that’s all it takes to be chief, then you should hire that drunk as your replacement.”

“So, he declined our offer.”

Celia’s scowl deepened and Pontius chuckled.

“Well, I’m not too surprised.”

Celia blinked. “But why? That man clearly doesn’t want to fight anymore, so how else is he going to support himself? He even predicted when his savings will run out, but…”

“He didn’t care?”

“Yes. I can’t understand it.”

Pontius shook his head slowly. “I think you understand more than you realize.”

“Huh? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“That man is grieving.” Pontius announced as he reached for Celia’s tea. She failed to react before he snatched it back. “He’s like you were five years ago. Back when I took you in.”

Celia lowered her gaze. Her expression darkened and her eyes began to lose focus. However, this moment of weakness only lasted for an instant.

“I resent that comparison.”

“Resent it all you like, but I want you to keep talking to that adventurer. Don’t give up until you convince him to leave.”

Celia nodded resolutely.

“I won’t let you down.”