《Csick》Rule 3 - Conversations about the oxford comma are restricted to the appropriate room
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The theme song started, this time the music was a mellow symphonic metal.
Nate stormed angrily into view “Again with the music change? Are you having trouble making up your mind, or are you trying to turn this into a ‘bit’, because it’s not working. The readers are going to hate it, and hate you. Is that what you want? Just stick to one song, if you feel the need to use one at all.”
“No” softly reverberated through Nate’s mind. Along with an impression of somebody sticking out their tongue.
This time when the video got to the golden-haired kid, Nate started to think. I bet he’s going to be my best friend or greatest rival. One of the two.
The theme song ended, and the book fell to the ground again. It flipped open and this time the quill wrote.
All conversations and disagreements over the oxford comma must be held in the appropriate room.
The bird flew off with the book again, and the scene changed.
Nate had just arrived at the boat, overloaded with his luggage.
Two of the boys were on the pier, sparing, and four others were sitting in the boat.
“Hi, I’m Nate.” Nate looked at the fight, wondering if he should speak up.
“Don’t worry about them.” A girl with tanned skin and mysterious eyes stood up and offered her hand. “I’m Jaz. Yes, it’s short for Jasmine because my parents are Disney freaks. If you ever use that name I will break your writing hand. Understand?” She finished with a smile that Nate found charming.
“Gotcha.” Nate cringed at the awkwardness of his reply.
“Don’t worry about Jaz, she harmless… Mostly” Another girl came over, her eyes were light green, and she had long blond hair. She reminded Nate of the beauty pageant shows he’d seen on tv. Everything about her was in place, perfect. She nudged Jaz out of the way, before continuing.
“I’m Stacy. And this is Stan. He doesn’t speak.”
She pointed at a trenchcoat that was currently inhabited by a number of raccoons. They would poke their heads out occasionally, and their feet and tails could be seen under the bottom of the coat.
“Stan?” Nate’s eyes were vacant, trying to process what was happening.
“Yup. Stan Realman.”
“Stan… Realman? Is that one of the raccoons, or the coat itself? And how fake is that name.”
“What raccoons are you talking about?” Jaz came back to stand beside Stacy. “You better not be insulting my pal, Stan.”
Nate counted five raccoons inside the coat. It really wasn’t hard to tell.
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“No, no. Not at all. I see now. Stan.” Nate squinted his eyes and took another look. It had human-looking hands and face at least. Clearly a mask and rubber hands though, even through the haze Nate had no trouble telling the difference. His rand reached for the mask, to touch it, just to see.
Stan hissed and swiped at Nate, who jumped back started by the reaction.
“He doesn’t like being touched.” Jazz crossed her arms, daring Nate to try again.
“Uh-huh, he does not like that at all.” Stacy nodded in agreement.
“Sorry.” Nate looked at Stan. If this bundle of wild animals was considered a person, he was going to have to accept it. He reached his hand out to shake Stan’s. Stan pulled out a piece of paper, “Welcome” was printed on it in beautiful calligraphy, and the rest of the page was filled with swirls and embellishments that turned the entire piece into a work of art. He placed the page in Nate’s outstretched hand rather than shaking it.
“You won’t trick him that easily.” A deep voice boomed from behind Nate.
Nate turned around and was staring directly into the stomach of the largest boy he had ever seen. Nate stumbled backwards.
“No need to be afraid of him, that’s Luke.” Stacy walked over and leaned up against Luke’s leg.
Nate took another look at the mammoth in front of him. Nate couldn’t tell how tall Luke was, it’s almost as if his height kept changing, somewhere between 8 feet and 12 feet tall. His skin was a dark brown, and there wasn’t a speck of hair on his head. His eyes were gentle, and he had a calming, trusted smile.
“Super uppercut, Shinjuku style!!”
Nate turned to look at the pair that were fighting on the dock. The redhead had his arm pulled back, and it was burning with a yellow flame. He performed his special move, and the other boy flew up high into the air, splashing down a little too close to the yacht.
The words “35 XP” appeared above the remaining boy’s head in flashing purple letters.
“Those two are the fighters here.” Even Luke’s voice had a calming quality to it now. “The redhead there is Matt, and the blonde that went flying is Dave.”
Nate was still dumbstruck at what he had witnessed. He had never seen somebody die before. It was a strange feeling.
“Hi, I’m Matt, if these slackers haven’t told you yet.” Matt was closing in on their boat.
“Shut the pickled marshmallow toast up! You just killed somebody.”
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“Ah, he’s gone through worse,” Matt said without breaking his stride.
Nate was trying to breathe and calm down. Nobody else was freaking out. Maybe this Dave person wasn’t dead after all.
“Hi, I’m Nate,” Nate extended a fist, and Matt returned the bump. “How do you all know each other so well? Aren’t you new here, like me?”
They all laughed
Luke slapped his thigh “That’s a good one. You can keep joking here with the others, I’m going to take us back. He moved over to the console and they started on their way to the Yacht.
“How many people do you think win this contest?” Jaz couldn’t hold back a further chuckle. “You’re the only winner in North America this time around. You know only three winners were picked worldwide don’t you?”
Nate looked at her in shock. “Thr…three people in the entire world.”
Matt whistled. “Really puts it in perspective, doesn’t it.”
“Then who are all of you?” Nate’s confusion was so intense that it bubbled to the top of his head, rising up into the air in the form of a question mark above his head.
“We’re your roommates. We’re all previous contest winners.” Matt took off his shoes and hung his legs off the side of the boat.
“Hey, Nate. We’re in open water now. Do you want to steer?“
Nate jumped at the chance, but it wasn’t long before Luke took back control to dock with the yacht.
Waiting for them at the dock was the golden-haired person from the intro.
“Hey, I know you.” Nate didn’t realize he had spoken until it was too late. “I mean. I think we’re supposed to become friends or bitter enemies. I’m open to either option.”
“Psst. That’s one of the teachers, Goldpen.” Matt leaned over and whispered in Nate’s ear.
Nate’s heart dropped as he thought “Oh my God, what the peach souffle did I just say?”
This was immediately followed by “Goldpen. Is that a first name, or surname? And Goldpen, come on. Are you some low-budget James Bond villain?”
“I don’t know what kind of school you came from, Nate. But this is the last time you speak to a staff member like that.
Nate’s face dropped as he realized that he had spoken his thoughts aloud. This is your fault, isn’t it, he directed his thoughts at the author.
“I sincerely apologize,” Nate turned to Goldpen. “In the future, I will remember to think before speaking.”
I’m sure that won’t be a problem, will it? He thought furiously towards the author. Life would be unbearable if he couldn’t control his words.
The group heard shouting from up ahead. It was muffled so they couldn’t make out the words, but there were several parties involved. Stacy and Jaz looked at each other, then grabbed hands. As the group got closer they could make out what was being said.
“You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands”
“My apologies,” Goldpen closed a door that had been slightly ajar, and the noise cut off completely. “That would be the Oxford Comma Room. Please save any disagreements, panic and rage for that room.”
The entire group looked relieved.
“Why were you scared? You knew what that room was?” Nate looked around at the group.
“Are you so accustomed to yelling and screaming that it doesn’t bother you?” Goldpen turned sharply to look at Nate. “The door is usually closed, so no sound escapes. I imagine it’s the first time any of your group has heard it.
Goldpen looked at each of them in turn, pausing at Stan. “Almost all of you, it seems.”
Stan held up a large sign. It was baby blue, with thick black letters.
“Oops”
“What does that even mean?” Nate started pacing, working himself into a rant. “Where did that sign come from, and how did he get rid of it?”
“Aww, leave Stan alone” Dave walked over to Stan and put his arm around Stans's shoulders. “He’s one of us, even if he can’t speak.
Stan held up a sign. It was bright pink, with blue letters.
“Friend?”
Nate’s shoulders slumped a little, he was losing steam. “But… But… Raccoons…”
“Don’t start up with that again!” Jaz didn’t look scared anymore. Nate felt a chill pass through him as he met her gaze.
“Ok, ok. Can we just continue now?” Nate looked at Stan, “Yes, friend.”
Goldpen continued the tour. Classrooms, cafeteria, and dozens of smaller theme rooms where you could gather to talk about a specific genre or topic.
The yacht was far too large to explore every nook and cranny, so the tour focused on the main rooms, but it still took several hours.
When they finally ended up in their rooms, Goldpen handed Nate a large leaflet with several maps of the different levels. “Your computer also has a map app, though unfortunately, it can’t track where you are.”
With that, Goldpen spun on his heels and strode off down one of the hallways.
Nate opened the door to his new life.
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