《Myriad Life》Chapter 39 - Now and Then
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The intensified Elements occupied the majority of the space inside the realm of consciousness, creating a mist-like atmosphere inside the mind of Forus. Although they could dwell themselves inside the tiny area within his cognisance, their intense nature caused the stable flow of sorcery energy to turn chaotic and shake the foundation of Forus with each fluctuation.
While enduring prolonged pain, Forus found that the ritual that guided the Elements and Death Aura into his realm of consciousness had emitted a series of black light that pierced into his body and circulated within his blood flow. They would enforce his inner organs and heart to keep them from stopping their operation, helping Forus by lessening the burden of enduring both inside his conscious and outside his body.
The Elements slowly covered the exterior of the greyish soul, sending their power inside the soul, compressing their enormous quantity into a small container that was Forus' soul. Acting like an empty glass of liquid, the soul silently waited for the Elements to condense themselves from their mist-like state into the liquified state, turning purer and took lesser space than their counterpart.
With each drop of the liquified Elements, they resided inside the soul, leaking out with a chaotic mess of Elements, threatening to burst out from the inside and broke the greyish soul apart. In their liquid-like state, the area of impact turned smaller while the pressure on said area multiplied by a large margin, weighing down on Forus more than before.
With the drop in the volume of the misty Elements, walls of the realm of consciousness could finally take some pressure of the concentrated Elements by itself without the sorcery energy. However, all of the said pressure had transferred itself into the inside of the greyish soul, crashing onto every part of the soul. With every increase of droplets, the stress exponentially progressed, creating many cracks on the exterior.
Fortunately, the Death Aura, upon noticing the small cracks, rushed towards the hole and filled itself inside the hollow space, holding the exterior of the soul together. With such bizarre conditions, Forus forced every last bit of his energy into maintaining the overall structure of the soul, fighting against the pressure of the liquified Elements.
As the last droplet fell inside his soul, the glass full of Elements shook as the Death Aura slowly expanded and covered each part of the walls of the realm of consciousness. Without the help of the Death Aura, Forus needed to bear the burden of the liquified Elements by himself. Due to the sheer pressure, Forus' physical body tremble as his skin cracked opened before fixing itself with the help of the wicked symbols.
With the guide of the ritual, all Elements that floated the surrounding had already entered Forus' mind, causing the chaotic weathers to subside. With the change in the flow of Elements and the disappearance of the Elements, Ocelia was able to get rid of the blackness and chaotic current of the weakened Elements that blocked her view.
Once witnessing the scene, Ocelia saw the constant loop of breaking apart and renewing of the skins, watching the blood seeped out before the body automatically created more blood to substitute the loss. The previous hellish scene turned much more sinister with the soundless scream and the unfolding suffering.
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Like Forus, Ocelia grasped at her chest while panting heavily, feeling as if the limitless ocean had submerged her entire being, weighing down her heart and soul. The suffering of her love made her heart ached and left a small crack in her mind, leaking out transparent tears that condensed from the grief inside of her.
At that moment, Ocelia felt no pain from the battle between the evil power and the transformation Snowflake. The pain in her heart suppressed the pain in her body and overtook her calm and confident demeanour. Without any moment of hesitation, she gazed at the symbol of love that connected her and Forus, wishing from the bottom of her soul for her to unite with him again.
Like a machine on standby, the symbol shone brightly as pinkish mist emitted from it, changing the depressing atmosphere into a rich love-filled experience. The chain reaction caused the rune on Forus to glow as well, twisting the image of the ross as its roots penetrated out of his skin and joined with Ocelia's.
At that instance, Forus felt empowered, and without his notice, his usually calm face curved into a slight smile as the enormous pressure that stressed his soul slowly reduced in quality and transferred itself towards Ocelia. The blackness that he could only perceive gradually overlapped with the vision from afar. The reddish landscape reflected in his sight, amplifying the appearance of the figure in the middle of the black ritual.
Although he could see the dull world once again, he felt no joy nor satisfaction. In his mind, he was dragging down his Ocelia, making her suffer for every passing moment. Without any hesitation, he quickly forced every bit of the Death Aura to cover his crumbling realm of consciousness, merging with the essence of the Death Aura. The faster he could do it. The shorter Ocelia needed to endure.
However, even with the combination of his will, her will, and their eternal, unchanging love, the rate of merging with the Death Aura was still slower than the crumbling speed of the realm of consciousness. No matter how they tried, the two had already known that Forus' will would disintegrate away into countless fragments, turning into a mindless shell that had no meaning in its existence.
While Ocelia wished to move towards her loved one to embrace him, she found that her missing feet had forbidden her from doing so, as for Forus, his breaking and reconnecting body had no spare energy to move even for a bit. The two were so close, yet so far away. The tiny gap between them was like a depthless pit, forever separating them apart.
Because of his blinding greed and unnatural body constitution, the process of breaking through the barrier of his was different from the ordinary sorcerer. The act of hastily created the Light Core was without any consequence. The newly-created concentrated Light Element was very unbalanced and required a vast experience to be able to control it from going rampage.
With his unique way of sorcery, making him one of the quickest sorcerers ever to reach the first-ranked, how could he have any experience necessary to control such concentrated Element? However, if he didn't acquire the Light Core, even if he could break through into the first-ranked sorcerer, he would be one of those average sorcerer, not enough to venture out and reunite with his family again.
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In the end, everything reached up to this point, the point of no return.
The memory of his current life flashed before his eyes, showing his struggle, his goal, and her. From the very first moment where Ocelia injured him, to the first moment where they met face to face, to the point where he stole her body and only at that moment they finally developed their little emotion into something grander than they could imagine.
Seeing the vision, the sensation of pity flooded his mind. He discovered that he was the source of her misery. He robbed her knowledge, forced her into his body, injured her almost to the point of death, exploited her family and relative, and abused her power.
Even then, she forgave him, gave him compassion and swore to become his only companion.
However, even now, at this moment, he was still causing her pain she never deserved. The reason that they journeyed into this dying world was because of his greed, wishing to take control over Ocelia, robbing her of her will and body.
The reason for their impending demise, in the end, was him.
Like a puppet with its strings cut, Forus lost his will to breakthrough and continue the suffering of her. He felt like a man lost in a foreign world, far away from home. His quest of reuniting with his family felt unreal as if it was never meant to be possible.
Like a playful demon, the memory about his past life surfaced for him to revisit them. In the illusion of peace and mediocrity, he regained his purpose and found his happiness. He watched as his wife, Meria, and his daughter, Matia, played with each other while a letter sent from his brother, Intor, occasionally appeared before him.
The crash between his past oath and the current feeling silently exploded within his heart, blossoming into the transparent flower, hiding within his soul. The affection for Ocelia constantly nourished it, coupled with the nostalgic feeling of olden life, it finally emerged from his steady mind.
On one side, he knew that his love for Meria was sincere and eternal. He should not have an affair with another woman. However, from another perspective, Ocelia's actions had touched upon the distant part of him. She showed him the meaning of selflessness and its power.
In his blindness, he could not see the face of Ocelia and any of his relatives ever again. Although he knew that they didn't want any of this to happen, a selfish man like him would always be selfish. Thus, he promised himself to be selfish again, for the benefits of his.
An eternity in his mind was an instant in the real world. If he still had his eyes, they would change from the dim eyes, which lacked any sign of life and determination, to the colourful and vivid eyes. The immense sensation of relieving flooded his mind, filling him with endless strength to make his selfish desire real.
Although the regain of liveliness should be the sign of someone recovering their purpose, Ocelia felt like her heart was breaking, tearing itself into a half. The heavy premonition of loss filled her very being.
The return of liveliness could be the sign of someone recovering their purpose. However, it also could be a sign of relieving oneself from the grip of reality like the last stage of grief, the acceptance.
"..."
Ocelia frantically opened her mouth, trying her best to scream and cry, wishing dearly for her soundless voice to reach him. However, the impact between the power of corruption and the Snowflake had already damaged her vocal cord, ridding her the ability to conjure any sound.
Blood gushed out of her mouth, spilling all over the ground, turning her vision blood-red. She stumbled onto the ground, crazily extending her arms towards Forus, crawling towards him as fast as she could. Although the hellish landscape was full of spikes, she disregarded her body and the injuries that came from her actions.
As if fate was playing with her, the distance between them between once shrank, turning longer and longer every time she moved towards him. They were a world apart, no longer seeing each other, no longer hearing from each other. Soon, they would fade from their memory, forever remain a dissipating dream, a fleeting emotion.
Although it seemed futile, until the very end, Ocelia never stopped crawling. She even withdrew her sorcery energy from resisting the power of the Snowflake, letting them transformed her into an elemental spirit, using its transformation from fleshy being into a being of pure energy. If she became a mass of energy, she could go to Forus and stayed by his side.
The flesh on Forus slowly fell onto the ground. With no sorcery energy to fuel its activity, they no longer try to reconnect with each other. The connection between the two naturally severe itself, cutting them from their reunion. Contrast to his miserable appearance, a carefree smile, lacking in anxiety and fear, stayed on his face. His mind felt at ease. His soul felt relieved.
He gradually turned his head towards Ocelia, causing flesh to drop from his body more than the usual rate. Accompanied by his movement, the bright, watery eyes of the young maiden gazed upon his smile. The feeling of carefree and worry crashed at the very moment. The intense first stage of grief met head-on with the lasting last stage of grief.
Like an audience, the surrounding world turned silent, afraid of disrupting the last conversation between a man from the world of death and a lady from the world of life.
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