Kiana lay on the metal cot and rubbed her tongue over the back of her lip. She'd bit it pretty hard when the Arch Mage had spoken to her, determined not to break down.

Her tongue running over the divots irritated the healing skin and the salty tang of blood returned. Probably shouldn't do that or it would take a longer time to heal.

Not that it mattered, she'd be dead soon anyway.

A fair chance to explain herself. That's what King Eirik had demanded but Kiana didn't think that would change anything. She'd known what she was doing when she killed the queen, so was guilty and that was all there was to it. A chance for her to plea and put the blame on someone else wouldn't work. She was done pretending.

Still, it meant that Fiona hadn't had to watch, so she thanked the king for that. The sharp pang in her heart returned and with nothing to distract her she was unable to avoid thinking about the princess.

Surely she knew by now. The Arch Mage or the king—someone—would have told her what Kiana was. Would Fiona hate her? She'd have good reason, Kiana had been lying to her since they met after all. She pictured Fiona's face, eyes wide with horror backing away. Kiana pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes.

Or maybe...

No, Kiana shook her head. That was too dangerous a thought. That the princess might forgive her, might have believed her, might even...

“Damn it.” If that was the case, then things were even worse. Kiana's death would hurt Fiona more. At least if she hated Kiana then that would be the end of it.

"Knock, knock?"

Kiana's heart froze. Was it time? She wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to leave the painful but hopeful fantasies and go to her execution. She pressed her back against the wall and looked through the bars on the other side of the room.

It was the Third Apprentice. He had one hand poised up on the bars to match his fake knock. He gave a small smile and Kiana bit her lip nervously, wincing as the tender flesh objected.

"W-what do you want?" Kiana said, hating how she fumbled the words, her heart still lodged in her throat.

"I was hoping to talk with you, if that's alright."

Years of training and people watching kicked in and Kiana examined the Third Apprentice. He was earnest but not without agenda. There was no malice in his blue eyes, nothing like the hatred that had emanated off his master.

"Not as if I have a choice," she said, pulling her knees up, perhaps a bit petulantly. Matius waved a hand and materialized inside the bars. Kiana sucked in a breath. Perhaps he had come to kill her himself.

"Of course you do. I'm Matius, by the way."

"I know who you are."

"Right, of course."

He shifted casually but it brought him a hair closer and Kiana flinched. Matius looked over with concern, "Would you rather I stay outside?"

It didn't really make a difference. He was a mage, he could snap her in half with a flick of his finger if he wanted. But still she gave a tight nod and he backed up, whooshing through the bars again and pulling up a chair on the other side.

For a moment they stared at each other, Matius's soft eyes looking with concern as Kiana's dark ones scoured his features for some sort of clue of what he was doing here.

"You know...you're actually not the first person I've talked to in here that had regicide on their hands," Matius said unexpectedly, a hint of amusement on his face.

Kiana blinked. What was he talking about?

He continued, "Of course, he wasn't here because of that and he was a lot scarier than you are."

Matius ran a hand through his hair. "My point is, things aren't as hopeless as you might think. The world is filled with people who do terrible things, but it's also filled with people who do good things and surprisingly often the two end up being the same. You're...well you're young and I have a hard time believing you deserve to be killed. Why don't you tell me what happened so we have the whole story."

So that was it. He was her interrogator. It shouldn't have taken her so long to figure out, after all she knew what powers he must have to pull the truth from people. For a spiteful minute she considered clamming up and saying nothing, but there wasn't really any point. She had nothing to hide.

"It's not complicated,” she began, “I was trained to be a weapon and I was good at my job. I pretended to be an innocent dressmaker, lived in Aziron long enough to infiltrate the palace, and then I killed the queen and fled to Valhym. I did that and I'm prepared to face the consequences."

"I imagine this wasn't a plan you came up with on your own."

Kiana frowned. He was trying to get her to put the blame on someone else but that wasn't fair. She hadn't come this far to rid herself of denial to let him send her crawling back in.

"The queen planned it, but I knew what I was doing."

Matius hummed. "I'm not sure that's entirely true."

"Well then use your magic and find out!" she snapped and Matius's eyes widened. He was taken aback, and even though somewhere inside she somehow knew it was a bit mean she added, "I know you can. Go on, why don't you just read my thoughts and be done with it."

Matius hesitated for a moment, his mouth partially open before he shook his head. He looked back at her, his face so kind and sincere it made Kiana feel brittle as glass.

"I don't need magic, you are being totally honest and open and I appreciate that. What I meant before was that I think you're giving yourself a bit too much credit. You had no reason to hate Queen Li'jasa which means someone told you a lie that you believed."

Kiana wrapped her arms around herself as if it would keep her from shattering. "No, I knew what I was doing."

"And what was it you thought you were doing?"

"It doesn't matter. I did it. I didn't want to see the truth, I chose to believe the story—" Kiana clammed up and Matius struggled to hide the interest that lit up his face.

"It matters a great deal actually, Kiana,” Matius said and again she shuddered at the kindness in his voice. "What you did wasn't right. It was terrible and wrong and hurt a great many people. Despite this, it does matter why you did it. I don't think you wanted to do the damage you did and I think that's why after it was over you changed your mind."

Kiana closed her eyes but that didn't stop the tears from squeezing through. "She told me it would make people happy. That it would make Aziron better, that—that I'd be a hero." Her fingers dug into her arms. "But I lived here. I should have seen that the people weren't unhappy. Should have seen that the queen was innocent."

"Aziron isn't perfect. I know better than most its flaws and living here as a yuji doesn't give you the best chance of seeing the good in it’s people. It's not hard to focus on the flaws when someone has pointed them out to you. You were lied to. You were taken advantage of and lied to, Kiana, and that is very important."

She could feel her glass bones cracking and in a desperate attempt to make him see, to make him understand she laid out her sins. "And after that I did the same thing. I murdered and I lied."

"You mean when you got back to Valhym?"

She nodded, her eyes still closed. "I thought it was over, but the queen just had me...I was too good at it. I couldn't stop. I spied and I deceived. I made her believe I was on her side. But the whole time I was just...just..." She was babbling.

"You mean Fiona?"

At the name, Kiana's head fell onto her knees.

"You saved her life, you know."

Kiana turned her head and opened her eyes which stared empty at Matius. "I had to. I couldn't keep hurting her."

"Unless you tell me not to, I'm going to come in now."

Too afraid that if she said anything else, the glass would truly shatter, Kiana watched as Matius entered her cell, this time using the door which swung open with a wave on his hand. She watched him as he sat next to her and lowered his head to meet her eyes.

"Kiana, it's time to stop punishing yourself."

She flinched and the glass broke, the shards stabbing her and cutting her to the quick.

Matius held her gaze. "You blame yourself for being tricked by the most skillful liar in En. You blame yourself for lying to Fiona on orders of the same woman, a woman who put you both in the situation in the first place. You knew it was wrong and now you're punishing yourself and at the end of the day hoping the Arch Mage will finish the job for you. But you're forgetting something very important."

His hand rested on her shoulder and she imagined it bled from the contact.

"You saved Fiona and her father, defied the undefiable, and faced those you'd hurt with complete honesty. Right now there is another girl out there who is ready to fight the Arch Mage to protect you but nothing she or I say will matter if you don't forgive yourself."

The glass melted and with surprise Kiana found she wasn't bleeding at all. Fiona was out there fighting for her. Believed in her. If that was true then maybe Kiana could believe too.