Patch Notes #1.3

Luring in the Vampires of Darkenend Deep to the Hobbit’s Garrod Hall using bags of Hobbit blood will no longer be tolerated. This is a mechanic that was never intended to be viable. Hobbits will no longer be able to be drained of their blood. Along the same line of game play Hobbits will also no longer be able to be chained to the walls and tortured.

Crash moaned and tried to roll himself over. “OMG, someone just finish me off please! I am never going to try shots of Hydra juice ever again!”

Malia called from the other room, “Come drink a glass of this magical mango-ade! It wipes your hangover out in seconds!”

Crash dropped off of the bed and crawled on his hands and knees to the living room. “What happened? I remember doing those shots and then… a big blank!”

“Are you telling me you don’t remember stripping down to your briefs jumping up on stage grinding and screaming Channing Tatum Baby!?” She started laughing.

Crash sat back and froze. “Please tell me that isn’t true! That’s not funny!”

Malia nodded. “I’m sorry, but it is true. It wasn’t funny, but it was sexy as all hell! The women in the bar went crazy and a few other men joined you on stage!”

I think we made 5 gold total from a bunch of senior citizen ladies throwing silver at you!” Malia showed him a handful of coins.

Crash leaned back and groaned. “I’m ruined!”

Malia smiled. “I don’t think so, if anything you’re more popular than ever. People were slapping you on the back and giving you kisses all the way out to the front door. I was practically fighting off women trying to take you home. Hope and Faith had to stop people from following us home. One woman almost made it inside here but Monsoon blew her off of the deck.”

Crash stared at her to see if she way lying. She seemed serious. “Huh? Well it could have been worse I guess. I can’t remember being that drunk before. Hope kept pouring drinks in my mouth every time I turned to talk to her. She’s like an Amazon, I couldn’t fight her off she is way stronger than me!”

From the kitchen a voice rang out, “I am not an Amazon, but you’re right I am way stronger than you!” He heard a different voice snicker. He looked over at Malia.

She shrugged. “I let the girls take my bed. It was super late when we got home.”

Crash rolled his eyes. He barked out. “Thanks for the escort home ladies, even if it was Hope’s fault for how drunk I got!” He heard more snickering from the kitchen.

Crash finished his drink and looked at the glass. “You were right my hangover is totally gone.”

Malia clapped her hands. “Chop chop stud. Grab your gear. Faith told me where the newbie zone is. We are going to adventure today! By the way, all of the heads up functions operate by pure thought. Whatever you want to do or see you just need to think about it. Try thinking real hard for one second about statistics.”

Crash said in his voice in his head, “Show me my statistics.” A list popped up:

Con: 10

Str: 14

Agi: 18

Dex: 15

Int: 11

Wis: 10

Sta: 14

Lck: 20

“20 Luck?”

Malia smirked and waved her hands up and down over her body. “I’d say you’re a VERY lucky man!”

Crash asked, “I take it the base of our stats is a flat 10?”

Malia nodded, “Yes and no. Ever Ever has a much more complicated formula. Every base stat has five components to it. And even some of those sub-components have their own factors. Call your stats up again and concentrate on agility. I bet that is your highest stat because of surfing, it’s my highest.”

Crash brought up the list again and concentrated on agility. A list popped up:

Agility:

Response (Int): 12

Coordination: 19

Balance: 19

Reflex: 18

Speed: 14

Crash was impressed. “Wow, that is crazy in depth. I bet you can work on those skills out of combat to increase the over all stat. I see my speed can use some work.”

Malia nodded. “Yeah, Faith was saying that there are libraries all over the world that you can go to. They have zone specific books that will drive up your intelligence. I wanna hit some up when we travel.”

Crash was perusing through the statistics. “Hmm I never realized that dexterity had so much to do with hand coordination. If you build your dex up... crafting skills come easier to you, neat... Makes sense if you think about it.”

Malia nodded staring off at her own stats. “Yeah, look at Int. There is an entire sub section involved in dealing with people. Perception, Psychology, Empathy, Sexuality and Subconscious Aura Reading.”

“Huh? My mom always did tell me she could read people. I always thought she was b.s.ing me.”

She looked over. “You never mention your Mother. Is she still alive?”

Crash looked up from his stat viewing. “Not much to mention. She was a super smart computer coder. Silicon Valley kept calling her to go work there. It was her dream job. On about their thousandth try they offered her so much that she didn’t refuse. She begged my Dad to go but he wouldn’t leave Hawaii. She moved when I was about 10 years old. Been just me and my dad ever since. She works at some super secret high tech company, never told me shit about it. I rarely even talk to her.”

Malia said, “Oh Crash, I’m sorry. How did your dad take it?”

Crash shrugged. “I catch him looking at her pictures every now and then. They never did actually get divorced. I’ve never seen him without his wedding band on. He always says that I am a male carbon copy of her. I’m positive he still loves her.”

Malia gave a nod in sympathy. “Ok, on a lighter note… have you looked at the map at all? The only area with any detail we can see is the Bay, However, you can zoom way, way out and view The Island in it’s entirety. The Island is almost 2000 miles long. The size of the U.S. east coast. If you look it is roughly in the shape of a giant letter B. There is a mountain ridge that runs down the middle of it from the bottom of the south all the way north. I’m guessing over on the west coast is higher level areas. By the way we are on the bottom eastern half.”

Crash called out, “Hope, Faith, can you come out here for a minute? I have a few questions?” The two women walked into the room while jamming breakfast burritos in their faces.

Crash nodded at them. “Thanks, can you tell me a couple things? First is there a quest hub anywhere that will guide us to where we should be headed? Secondly is there a reason I was given so many items of clothing with parrots on it and why I saw so much parrot clothing being worn all over town?”

Faith started, “There are two main roads out of town and a few paths that are less seldomly used. The southern pass leads out to the west coast and you should avoid that for a while. The northern road is where you want to head. The entrance is packed with quests. All of the goods come into town there and the main garrison is located there. There is also a large posting board there with bounties and quests on it”

Hope spoke up. “You were very perceptive about Parrots. The Island is home to many races, but the Parrotheads are one of the most numerous. Think six foot Parrots standing on skinny legs. There might be more Parrotheads on this land than humans. The Tortiles are a very close third. They are a race of sentient half Human / half Tortoise. They have hardened skin and a natural shell that grows out of their backs. The Tortiles and the Parrotheads do NOT get along at all. The Parrotheads generally like Humans in a weird kind of way. It’s like a master / pet thing but more complicated than that. The Tortiles want nothing that Humans can provide and thus they tend to not interact with us.”

Faith butted in, “By the way, I must warn you. Do NOT piss off a Parrothead. That is to say, not unless you have ear protection.” Crash gave her a look of questioning. “Have you ever been in anyone’s house who owns a few birds as pets? Have you been there when they become annoyed and start squawking? It’s loud and annoying right? Now imagine a six-foot two pissed off parrot that squawks in your face. Now imagine five of them doing that. The first time any of you adventurers fight with them you will get a skill-up to muffle the noise. However, you will also be headed to your respawn because that squawk will have sonically stunned you.”

Hope spoke again. “Before you head out into the wild I would suggest you go find Old Nannu. He is the Head Priest of Barnabus here. He can tell you how to set up a shrine to your God. You need a shrine to bind your soul to so you can respawn. Normally you would bind to Barnabus’s shrine, but you are Destiny’s Child. You need to make a shrine to her to bind to. If you die while not bound to your God… Well I don’t know, I imagine you just die and never come back. Ask in the market for Nannu. He is no doubt praying at his shrine. He can tell you what to do.

Crash and Malia made their way to the market place and were told where to find Nannu a ways off the beaten path behind the newbies center. When they arrived the shrine was not what they expected. As they were examining it a man walked quietly walked up behind them. “Not quite what you expected of a religious shrine is it?”

Both of them jumped from being startled by the guy. “Sheesh, give a guy a warning before you sneak up on him.” The man chuckled. “Barnabus and his priests are all sneaky. We know how big of an advantage it is!” He held out his hand. “Nannu, Nice to meet you... Crash and Malia right? You are here to ask about your shrine to Destiny right? I’ve been waiting for you.”

Crash nodded. “Ya, we need a bind point so I guess we need a shrine. First thing though. Is that an organic pirate ship?”

“Color me impressed Crash, you have a good eye. That think took me over 20 years to get perfect, but it was worth it. I carved a huge rock for years to get the shape right and then planted over 50 different types of plants and flowers. Barnabus himself approved and blessed it thank the Gods.” He proudly smiled.

Malia bobbed her head up and down. “Nice, but why a pirate ship?”

Nannu waggled a finger at her. “Good question. Barnabus you see was a Pirate himself back in his mortal days. In fact, he was the greatest pirate in the history of Ever Ever. He was miles ahead of any other Pirate in wealth and created a Pirate capital right here on the northern tip of The Island. Pirates started worshiping him for good luck on the seas and then they started coming to him personally to plead for his blessings. He had an entire city of Pirates worshiping him as a living God and sure enough he turned into one!

Malia clapped her hands. “Wow, a real rags to riches story! So what happened to him? Has anyone seen him?”

Nannu nodded. “Of course. He pops up all the time. I told you he blessed this shrine himself. I have had the honor of meeting him a few times. He frequents this area the most actually.”

Malia said, “This Bay? Why?”

Nannu talked as if quoting scripture. “Barnabus was smitten with a woman. She was a king’s daughter from across the sea. She was beautiful of course, but more than that she had a wit about her that could shame any pirate in the world and Barnabus loved that more than anything. Barnabus wanted to marry this woman more than anything he had ever wanted. But Bolina hated the city of pirates where the ordinary folks were never truly safe. She wanted Barnabus to clean it out or clear out of it. He was torn. It was his beloved city that he had founded and the Pirates were his flock. He tried to stall Bolina, but she snuck off in the dead of night. Barnabus grew furious at the deceit and chased her in his magical Pirate ship.”

He paused and pointed up at the shrine behind him and seeing them nod in understanding, he continued.

Bolina made it to this very bay when Barnabus finally caught up to her. He sank the ship carrying her and only rescued her letting the crew drown in the waves. She was so upset that she cursed him and told him that she would never be his bride for she could never love such a cruel man. She said she felt more for the drown sailors he let die than she did for him. Barnabus told her that if that was true she would spend eternity with those men... Never to escape this bay... He picked her up by the neck and changed her into a water creature and cast her into the waters. He then reached into the deep and made that crew into a hideous fish centaur race to imprison her.”

Tears started falling from Nannu’s eyes. “Barnabus was so upset with himself that he tore his own magical ship to pieces. They fell into the deep and made a magical city down below the waves. His magic was so strong that to this day it causes the Break. It is said that Barnabus himself still resides here waiting for Bolina to surface so he can apologize. Bolina Bay has a protective dome over it that has never been broken by any hostile force. That is how we know that this story is true. Well, that and the fact that the Break happens every day. That’s how the Break started ya know... Barnabus told the first villagers here that they had to stand witness for the Break every day in case Bolina arises from below...”

The High Priest sat down against the base of his shrine. “Go to the place of meeting your Goddess and call out to her. She will come. Now leave me. Telling the tale of Barnabus and Bolina fills me with grief every time.”

“I need to smoke a bowl and chill. Begone!”