Jess and I entered into the vault.

The room was filled by an enormous vessel, like a basin or a vat of some kind. Around the wall of the chamber was curled another long spiral staircase that led across the diameter of the container and allowed the pedestrian to appraise the great mythological scene embossed on its side in frieze.

It was a scene involving a crowd of figures standing together. There was a man with the head of an eagle, a man with the head of an owl, a man with the head of a jaguar, a man with the head of a lizard, and a woman, whose body was human, but who wore a silver horned crown and from whose shoulders hovered a pair of fork-tongued serpents. All the figures shared a shining gold goblet between them which they seemed to pass to each other's lips, a subtle trickle of red.

"Yo, I don't want to spoil it," said Jess, "but the whole story of the game is kind of hidden in this picture."

I looked at it some more... at least the man with the owl face and the cup itself was certainly familiar.

"Go over to the side and attack the goblet." Jess directed.

I went up and battered the glittering chalice along the frieze. An item appeared...

+ Item Gained - Obsidian Macuahuitl of the Shaveen

It was the length and girth of a great sword, but with jagged black razor blades affixed to its perimeter that serated its smooth edge. Carved along its darkwood center was the image of a snarling and wild red-eyed face, baring green curled lips and jutting fangs.

LVL - 1 WAR-PADDLE WEIGHT - 4.0 DURABILITY - 45 PHS ATK - 200 MAG ATK - 0 FIR ATK - 0 LIG ATK - 0 STR-BON - NA DEX-BON - NA INT-BON - NA FAI-BON - NA PHS-DEF - 50 MAG-DEF - 10 FIR-DEF - 35 LIG-DEF - 35

The lore description read: 'The wood that forms the body of this macuahuitl was carved from a sacred tree once worshipped as an idol in the Cloud Lands that hang resplendent above the Great Sea of Trees. An avatar of the god at the center of the old Muchik Cult of Fanged things, The Lord of the Right and the Left, its gleaming obsidian teeth are ever hungry for prey.'

"Holy shit... +200 physical attack!"

"Yeah, but, like... don't get too used to it." Jess said.

"Why?"

"Well like, it doesn't scale. Basically you can upgrade every weapon to be viable through the entire late game with the right upgrades, except for that one." Jess explained. "It's super powerful right now, but it won't be hot for too long, so don't get comfortable!"

We walked up the stairs and through a trap door in the ceiling to ascend into a vast dark chamber. The upper floor of the vault had one wall exposed, looking out onto a mountain pass, looming above the horizon of which towered a jet black pyramid, its approach flanked by a pair of two smaller rectangular buildings.

All around us in the upper chamber we heard a pitter-patter of droplets of water, as though around us it were raining.

Up above us, visible only in shadow, I saw the vast and gruesome sillohettes of many men hanging upside-down from the ceiling, their arms swaying as blood trickled and leaked from their open veins into the top of the gargantuan vat which lay in the chamber below.

"What is wrong with these people?" I muttered into the microphone.

"Nyeh, eggs and omelettes!" Jess crowed.

On the path up ahead were two structures. On the right was a single-story house with an open doorway decorated in walls of red and motifs of golden crabs. On the left was a complimentary building of the same size and shape painted with walls of blue and ornaments of silver crescents.

"You lead the way!" I said.

Jess bounded towards the house of the sun on the right.

Inside it was like a great collection of shelves which stored strangely shaped jars, almost like some kind of wine-cellar.

Two of the vulture women leapt out from the recesses of the workshop. Both Jess and I had gained a sizeable advance in our damage output, and I cut down my attacker for just a quick swipe of -270 damage.

+ Blood-Drops Gained - 210

We looked around and on a shelf along the wall found...

+ Item Gained - Warrior Libation Vessel

The item use read: 'Consume to gain a modest quantity of blood-drops.'

The lore read: 'These finely made stirrup-spout ceramics are found in tombs all along the coast as libation vessels in funerary rites. This particular ceramic depicts a kneeling venator brandishing his shield and his war-club, the perfect stoic servant to his feudal lord.'

Then we swept through the house of the moon on the left.

This house was some combination of a workshop and an ossuary, with human bones being finely worked into handles and containers.

Another two vulture women attacked us, only to be cut down by a series of slashes from my macuahuitl for -322, -315 -310 damage, which diced the scavenger-witches into pieces.

"This thing is so cool!!!"

"Glad you dig it! You can find even better ones of those sword-things later in the game." Jess explained.

+ Blood-Drops Gained - 225

On the workshop table, next to macabre masterpieces of sculpted ivory, I found another item...

+ Item Gained - Skull Fragment

Now the two of us returned to the path forward and ascended the steep steps of the black pyramid in a determined march.

"Alright, so what are we doing to prepare for this boss?" I asked.

"Don't sweat it." said Jess, her character powdering the surface of the harpoon's spearhead. "This guy's a pushover with two people. We just have to keep attacking him on either side so one of us can make sure he's always distracted."

"Sounds like a plan." I said.

When we reached the summit, looking out over colossal dark sandstorms that billowed out in the distance beneath the crimson sky. The music grew heavy and foreboding, and a boss's HP bar came over the top of the screen.

BOSS: Shonto, Lord of Carrion-Feeders

Down onto the peak of the pyramid crashed the length of a great black vulture, squawking and heaving an enormous axe, the blade of which was a giant sharpened boulder and its handle sculpted of the entire trunk of an ancient hardwood tree.

Jess and I rushed forward and split up, pincering Xonto around his left and right flank.

I slashed furiously at the scavenger god, light attack comboing him for -279, -282, and -278 damage, which, along with Jess's swiping, had easily reduced Shonto down to half of his health bar.

The boss grabbed Jess and began to tear at her with his talons, flapping afloat on his monstrous wings. I continued to slash at the vulture boss with heavy attacks, hoping he would drop my partner: -420, -418, -427, -412.

With these strikes the vulture dropped Jess and cried out a pained shriek, dropping to the ground, its HP bar vanished.

Sacrifice Devoured

+ Blood-Drops Gained = 822

+ Item Gained - Greataxe of Shonto

LVL - 1 AXE WEIGHT - 7.0 DURABILITY - 36 PHS ATK - 93 MAG ATK - 0 FIR ATK - 0 LIG ATK - 0 STR-BON - D DEX-BON - C INT-BON - NA FAI-BON - NA PHS-DEF - 55 MAG-DEF - 10 FIR-DEF - 40 LIG-DEF - 40

The lore read: "The Lord of Carrion-Feeders prefers to keep his foes at arm's length rather than face them in an all-out assault. It's better to live on scraps than perish of one's hubris."

"Well that was... easy...?"

"Haha! See! You're doing good!" Jess said as we walked the countless steps down to the base of the pyramid where the next save-tree lay in view. "Just get through the opening of the game and we'll hang out again later! ;) "