Chapter 11

The Mirror

“It’s so pretty! The wings are so big!”

“You like skyships way too much, Mera.”

Meredith, or her older self she figured, sat upon a nearby rock that overlooked the cliff. Her younger self, had to have been about nine years ago, was prancing on the clifftop. Just as she remembered, she was near-reckless, skirting the edge of the cliff that plunged below. Raymond kept an eye on her, but both were smiling. It was the most positive memory she could have ever had.

On its own, she wondered why the tower was showing this moment to her.

“Don’t you like skyships, brother?” little Meredith asked. She stopped her dance, her simple white dress fluttering behind her, embroidered with fancy designs.

“Not enough to want to work on them all the time. It gets boring.”

Little Meredith puffed her cheeks out, running over to her brother and trying to tackle him. He held an arm out and held her at a distance. She spun her arms, but failed to land a hit. “You’re so boring, Ray! You need to like skyships!”

“Least I don’t get pukey on them.”

“Th-that’s not my fault!” Meredith folded her legs as she watched her younger self, unable to stop smiling. How clear the memory felt to her in that moment, as if none of it had dulled a day. “B-but you’ll see! One day, I won’t puke on a skyship and I’ll be better than you.”

Raymond’s chuckle hinted at his amusement, but his soft expression conveyed the love for his sister. He soon lunged forward, taking little Meredith into a hug that she returned. In that time, her older self turned her eyes to the sky. It was nearly there now.

On schedule, the sky began to thrum, the waves crashing more violently. The little Meredith and Raymond looked around, holding to each other until the source became visible. The skyships passed overhead, traveling like bullets. Despite their speed, the emblem was still visible: the emblem that represented the Guardian Corps.

“What are those skyships…?” Little Meredith asked in awe, but Raymond gave no answer. They were in a trance, staring at the skies and the ships that had sailed through them. There was a small beat, and then a grin before the brother grabbed the sister’s hand and began to drag her back home.

“Come on, Mera! We gotta see this!”

Meredith stood from her rock, pursuing the pair at a leisurely pace. Lumarina was the same as ever, even in the memory. Life went on as it always did, and it was no different in the garage, where mechanics tinkered away on a skyship. Of more importance was the news report that was playing inside their house, her mother holding both of her young children.

“Who are they? What happened, mommy?”

“Those are the Guardian Corps, Mera!” Raymond said. The passion oozed from his clenched fists and wide grin. “They’re the best in the whole world! They help everyone and anyone!”

“Using skyships?” Little Meredith looked up to her mother. “They use skyships to help people?”

“They sure do, Mera. They’re about more than that, though.”

They’re about bringing peace. Her mother’s words echoed. Her younger self watched the television with rapt fascination, eyes shining, making the decision that the way the Corps helped people made them the coolest people around. When her brother left to join them, the brother she always loved and admired, she knew it to be true. That hasn’t changed.

“I know why I want to be a Guardian, no matter the struggle,” she said to the air. Perhaps no one was listening, or maybe the tower really was alive, but she figured it out. “I want to protect people and bring peace to those who are hurting. I want to fight pain, because I know that pain. That’s the most important thing.”

The scene in front of her paused, no further movement perceivable. Meredith swiveled her body until she locked on to one of the doors, shining with an orange glow. Her words had been a switch, a proof of acknowledging and understanding her past, or her past self. The tower was letting her move on.

Without hesitation, Meredith made for the door and pulled it open, back into the fire-lined halls of the towers. Concern covered her features. That couldn’t have been it.

Her foot took a tentative step forward, but nothing happened. The lines still led upwards, spiraling to a completely different area. There was more of the trial left; Meredith knew it. She rolled her shoulders and angled her head like a charging bull. The flame guided her forward, to another incline that she climbed without an ounce of dithering.

This ascent was longer, full of more twists than the last, and Meredith felt her breath becoming heavy in her chest. Years were leaving her behind, the baggage she’d accumulated since that time catching up to her. More exhausting than she’d imagined, she began to grow cold, only for the flames to offer no comfort. They held her attention, in any case, and near the top, she paused to observe them. Some were stationary, while others flickered in the slightest breeze, but there was no road to the outside from where she was, and no way to see. Only the flames.

Her finger reached out to poke the substance, and a flash of memory inserted itself into her brain. Not as hyper-realistic as the memory before it, but one she remembered quite well, and the only words that had mattered the first time she’d heard them uttered.

You’ll never be a Guardian, Little Meredith.

She stumbled back, avoiding further contact with the flames. It had been a piece of her past she hated, in spite of how much it pushed her, both to prove them wrong and to move past her limits. That her dream would always be out of reach was a fact that reinforced her desire to strive for it. The flame had helped her discern that.

At last, Meredith discovered the truth of the flame that ran through the halls and stairs of the Twisted Towers. It was the Flame of Identity, borne through magic to create a trial unique to each individual.

Knowledge imbued in her, Meredith straightened her back and took the final steps up, arriving in a circular room, better lit than the ones before it, but still devoid of decoration. Nothing happened the moment she walked in, but it didn’t halt her movement, not until she reached the center of the room. With that action, however, flames sprung up around the space, hoops of them hanging on the walls. They were still for a moment, giving Meredith room to question whether she should jump through them or not. Her mind chose not to, and it proved to be good judgment, as something else formed in the center of each hoop: a glassy mirror, created from the shimmering flames.

Meredith cocked her head to the side in curiosity. Despite the state of the mirror, only the other flames in the room were visible within it, which offered little in the way of clues to solve this next part of the trial. Desiring to learn more, Meredith advanced toward the first mirror she caught sight of. The closer she got, the clearer the picture became.

“A reflection…that should’ve been obvious,” she muttered upon planting herself in front of the mirror. True to expectation, she was standing in the mirror, staring deep into Meredith’s own eyes. That was where the similarities ended, as the Meredith in the mirror was shooting a smirk at her, blade slung over her shoulder. She knew she wasn’t doing that, and when she furrowed her brow with musing, the reflection didn’t do the same.

So, she turned away and on to the next mirror. This made it more obvious, as the Meredith in the reflection wasn’t even wearing her clothes, but her mechanic’s overalls, grease on her face, but a grin. Truth drilled into Meredith’s head, and she began to realize what each of the Merediths was starting to show. She wasted no more time staring as a result, ripping away from the mirror and dashing to the next. As expected, this mirror also showed a different Meredith. Every mirror did.

There was a prideful Meredith, who stood atop a mountain. A despondent Meredith, slumped against the sides of a wall. A mystical Meredith, prancing around with magic like a child. A rather carefree Meredith, in a dress of all things, that she was stitching up, given the rip in its side. A Meredith that stood alone as she turned her back to the mirror. Even an idealized version of herself, dressed in the regalia of a Corps member with medals and status, idolized by many, was there. It was a collection of Merediths, each different from the last.

Me…Hmm…Wondering what the mirror images were trying to show to her, Meredith’s lips twisted around each other, smacking in the silent space. She sat, crossing her legs as her head tapped against her fist. Like a cadence, it helped her thoughts start to gather.

Different Merediths. Different…parts. Who she was. The trial name, itself, was the clue from the very start. There wasn’t all that much thought behind it, and Meredith started to laugh, enjoying how easy it was to come to this conclusion. The Trial of Self was all about discovering and acknowledging the self! The past had shown her the picture she needed to accept in her original driving goal. Now it was all about the present. Who she was at that moment.

“Like that’s hard! I know who I am!” She flipped on to her feet, a grin on her face as she spun to each of them. Her finger whipped outwards, pointing out the different facets of herself. “I know each of you, because you’ve always been with me and what I’ve gone for. The girl who loves to fight and get stronger. The mechanic I love being. The one who loves to win. The one who hates to lose. The one who can use magic but is just getting started. That’s why you’re acting like a child, because you and I don’t know how to handle it. Don’t worry, though, I’ve got it covered. I’m growing every day and learning more about my magic, and once we re-forge this blade, we’ll have even more of those.

“I didn’t forget you two, either,” Meredith said, facing the loner and the Guardian within her. She couldn’t help smiling, even if the reflections didn’t return the gesture. “You’re the me that does everything on her own, and you’re the me I’m going to be: a leader in the Guardian Corps, protecting people and guiding the way to the future! See, tower? Flame of Identity? I know who I am. You can’t trick me!”

Her declaration didn’t echo, even if she heard it. If anything, it fell flat, swallowed whole by the space around her. None of the reflections reacted. None of them disappeared, either.

Confidence became replaced with worry, and Meredith’s body became on edge without even noticing. She knew, didn’t she? She was aware of who she was. Every part of her. That was never in doubt, because she was connected to her dream.

So why didn’t acknowledging that mean she had passed?

Meredith twirled, peering into each mirror with every pass. Not a single one changed or reacted. Nor did anything in Meredith’s mind. Had she interpreted them wrong? Or was she wrong to assume that’s what the trial was trying to have her figure out in the first place? The newfound questions brought a displeased expression to her face and she continued to whirl around, wondering. No answers presented themselves to her now-confused brain. At least, she couldn’t think of anything until the cold trickle on her neck, that unwanted sensation, returned to her. The reason why the room hadn’t cleared out was made plain.

She hadn’t acknowledged every part of her.

As if she were on a rotating platform, Meredith swiveled until she was facing it: the new fiery mirror that had formed in the room. It shined so bright, with an unknown malevolence, that her attention couldn’t be drawn to anywhere but there. It was a magnet, pulling her closer, her movements unbidden but reaching out for that final mirror. Meredith found her body shaking once again, desperately fighting against what she’d see in the mirror until she was forced to stand in front of it. The Meredith inside it was unmistakable.

She was a fearful one.

Fear…Meredith spoke in her mind. Her breaths were now growing audibly ragged, her fingers twitching once more. I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m scared…

“Afraid, aren’t you?” The whisper on the air was harsh, a contrast to the silence around her. Hard to identify, but impossible to escape. “And why shouldn’t you be?”

Meredith’s twitching fingers formed into a fist, the air from her nostrils loud, clashing with the laughing whisper. This had to happen now? Now that she could complete her trial, she had to remember that fear she felt. The darkness. The death. The Reaper.

The fear that made her feel so very weak.

“You are weak. Just a scared little girl, in over her head,” the voice said. Its hushed tones were seductive, familiar. They were a crooning tune, meant to entice her away from the mirror that contained her shivering self. Light increased, the flaming mirrors beginning to converge on that spot. “All you are in the now will be nothing in the future. You’ll just give in to the fear that makes you weak.”

“I’m…I’m not going to give up…I’m…” Meredith’s eyes widened as much as they could, the flames coalescing. They formed a single mirror, burning brighter than ever, yet consumed in darkness. And in that surface was a black, obsidian shape. “I’m not…not…”

Her hand gripped at her chest, each exhale like one from a wounded beast. The dead, black eyes of the Reaper stared back at her; a black wave that crashed into her, obliterating any and all progress. In that moment, they were her, and she was them. “Look at that…look how scared you are. You want answers, but you’re too afraid to get them. That magic is wasted on you and your fear.

“You’ll never become a Guardian, little Meredith.”

“Shut up!” It was instinctive. A gut reaction to those words in that order. Her fist unfurled, grabbing hold of her sword and extending it. With a single stroke, she cut through the mirror. The flames scattered, dousing the room in darkness once more. Within that darkness, Meredith clutched to her blade, heaving. “I…I’m not afraid. I’m…I’m going to become…a Guardian…”

“No. You’re just a coward,” the whisper returned. Only, it was no longer a whisper, but a deeper, mocking voice. Her voice. “You’re afraid of the future, aren’t you? Afraid you’re not strong enough. Afraid you can’t reach your ideal. Afraid you’ll become just like them.”

The conclusion rang, punctuated with the flaming finger that tapped to Meredith’s chest. It didn’t burn. Not physically. The visage of flame, morphing into her own shape, scorched into her senses before her wide eyes met with her leering grin.

“That’s who you are, Meredith Childs.”

Swords raised, one faster than the other, and Meredith felt herself punted across the room. Her grip loosened, and her sword clattered to the floor, some distance from her. The shadow stalked forward with an eerie grin of flame. Their sword was raised above their head, and Meredith found herself flailing, trying to get up. Her arm stretched for her blade, but was stopped before she could reach it.

“Aaaah!” The shadow’s sword impaled her shoulder, driving through with fire as she drew close. Wisps of Meredith’s hair fell in front of her eyes, obscuring the grin of her attacker. It didn’t let up, the sword withdrawing before a kick pressed into her chest, knocking her into a wall. Air was pushed out of her lungs, burning her chest and throat. “I’m…I’m not scared of the future.”

“Of course, you are,” the shadow said. It stood above her now, wearing her own face, sword set to plunge. “I know, because I’m you. I’m your fear. I’m every side of you, but your fear is the strongest.”

Trial of Self…The blade struck downward, and this time Meredith moved. She didn’t avoid all of the strike, the sword cutting at her arm, searing her flesh, but she managed to get away from the brunt of it. Her feet kicked at the ground, lunging for her blade. Another swipe of the sword hit her leg and she stumbled. I’m facing myself…My…fear…

Meredith’s body tumbled across the floor, splaying out on her stomach. Her hair came loose from its ponytail while she shuddered to move. Fingers outstretched, she reached for her sword, only to have the shadow’s foot come crunching down on it. She screamed. Yet in the haze of that pain, Meredith looked up to the shadowy creature and its manic expression. There was no soul there. The shadow was the polar opposite of the Reaper.

The Reaper. Her mind couldn’t help it. Her soul couldn’t help it. Both remembered the sheer presence of that robed individual. Their thrill of death and the countless souls inside them. Her theory rose as well, wondering if she wasn’t so alone in her magic. Wondering if the blade she wanted to forge would tell her so. Are we…the same…?

“Figuring it out, are we?” Her shadow leaned in. The grin was morphing into a stoic appearance, drilling the concept into her. “The answers you’re looking for might not be the ones you want to hear, and that scares you. Maybe you’re just like The Reaper. Maybe you’re not as alone as you think. And if you’re so wrong…maybe you’ll never become a Guardian. That scares you more than anything.”

“I’m…I’m…” Meredith’s other arm tried to reach her sword in a vain attempt. Her shadow swatted it away, holding its sword as a threat. Meredith was out of options, and her struggling would make nothing better. Before the shadow that had her pinned, she realized the truth of what she was trying to push away, what she was trying to avoid acknowledging. “I’m afraid.”

“It’s about time,” the shadow spoke. “You are afraid. You hide it behind the bravado and grand statements. The noble dream. But inside you’re a cowardly little girl who hasn’t grown an inch, her fear always holding her back.”

Fear holds me back? I haven’t grown? She knew that wasn’t true. She had grown. Had learned magic. Had made strides. Had been acknowledged by Guardians. She had done that all, herself, by moving past the obstacles in her way, whether they were people like Vivian, the Beastmaster, or her own lack of magic. Magic!

Defiance replaced fear. Strength replaced weakness. Meredith’s gaze snapped to her shadow, a snarl settling on her lips. Perhaps she was afraid, and perhaps that fear held her back from her true potential. “So, I’ll lock it out.”

“What?” With what movement she could muster, Meredith flattened her palm and touched it to the ground. She could feel its heartbeat, the soul within the flames and stone. Her face twisted itself with concentration, and then she gave a scream, asking for help. The shadow paused, as though obeying a force beyond its own sentience. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t you know, if you’re me?” Meredith asked. She allowed a grin to come to her face. Fire split the earth, snapping at the shadow and binding her like chains. Her movement restricted, the flames pulled her back and allowed Meredith to go free. Groans issued as the teen tried to stand, swiping her blade from the floor. “I’m using magic. Magic to protect. I can’t allow myself to be afraid.”

The flames stopped wrapping themselves around her shadow, the now smoldering form beginning to weaken. With every sluggish step, Meredith let go of her fear. The shadow looked at her. “But you are.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid,” Meredith said, holding her own sword aloft. “But I can’t move forward if I’m afraid. I can’t allow myself to be weak if I want to become a Guardian. I’ll get rid of it. I’ll overcome it, every step of the way. I was stupid to think you weren’t a part of me, and that was my mistake in this trial. But now that I know, I can beat you.

“I won’t allow myself to become stymied by fear!”

Her words spoken, Meredith reared back and slashed through the mix of shadow and flame. It held for a moment, and another smile appeared on the shadow’s face. Despite being bound by Meredith’s magic, it leaned forward, close as it could.

“See how far that takes you…Because fear…will always be there.”

Meredith sucked air in through her nose, and huffed it out. “And I’ll push it back.”

One last grin, and then the shadow dispersed, vanishing with the flames. Meredith waited, wondering if it was going to return, but she felt nothing approach. She’d done it; she’d overcome her fear.

Without warning, Meredith fell to her knees, hand letting go of her sword. The room brightened around her, indicating the path forward, but she couldn’t move. She knew the trial was over. She knew she’d succeeded. Her legs just didn’t want to move. The burning in her chest didn’t want to recede. Though her wounds from the battle had vanished, as if they’d never existed, Meredith had no desire to stand.

It had been so easy. Easier than she could have imagined to overcome her self. Was it the power of magic? Had that been what she was lacking? It was the biggest difference, surely. It had to be the answer, even if it didn’t resolve the pain. She let out a ragged sigh, and Meredith finally saw the tracks of flame leading upwards, to the end of the goal. Her goal.

“No more stopping,” she said. No one else was there to hear, but it spurred Meredith on. She took her fist to her legs, hitting them until they had the will to stand, sword in hand, and move to the ascending exit.

Meredith walked on in silence, trudging up the steps. Examining herself had drained her, making every movement sluggish. She had no choice in her final climb but to reflect on what had happened inside the tower’s rooms. How she had confronted the fear that had manifested and pushed it aside. An easy answer, she knew, but it was the only way to move forward.

Still, she hesitated as she reached the light-rimmed exit at the very top. Had it been too easy? Was she wrong? The introspection nearly caused her hand to slip from the door handle, but before she left it completely, her mind regained itself and she gripped it tighter. No more time for self-doubt. I know who I am. I know what to do, and I won’t…I can’t let fear stop me. That has to be the right answer. I can’t be afraid of anything anymore.

She pushed the door open and light erupted. Wind blew across her face, making her hair fly around. Once more, she’d found herself outside, and directly in front of her was a wild flame. It didn’t move with the wind, but was a blazing beacon for anyone looking towards the top. In front of it was a Guardian, the man looking bored as he waited. The expression didn’t last long as he soon saw Meredith and breathed in relief.

“Congratulations on passing the Trial of Self,” he said. His tone held no ceremony, carrying, instead, an air that said he wished to get this over with as soon as possible. Meredith nodded and dug into her pocket, pulling out her card to give to the man. “By passing the Trial of Self, you’ve no doubt learned something about yourself that you will use to become a Guardian. As a result of passing this trial, you are awarded with an S-Rank. Congrats.”

“Thanks…” Meredith said, quieter than usual. Her eyes watched the flame, hardly paying attention to the Guardian stamping her card and handing it back to her.

“Seems you have three to go, and your rank has risen,” he continued. She barely heard him. The blade on her belt was radiating with presence, pulling her towards the manifested flame. “To get out of the tower, you’ll have to wait for morning and we can take all succeeding candidates down from here.”

“Okay.” She was done listening. The Guardian blinked, opening his mouth to ask what she was doing, but he was distracted by the arrival of another succeeding trial candidate. Meredith ignored them, too. The flame had become her priority. “The next step towards answers. Towards the future.”

You’re afraid of the future, aren’t you? Her shadow’s words resonated in her mind. Although it did not stop her advance on the flame, it only served to highlight the trial she had just passed. She had discovered something about herself, but there was something else. It was un-placeable, yet within her grasp. Perhaps, Meredith began to think, the answer lay within the flame that consumed the night sky moving toward dawn.

She watched it, curling and sparking, running its great power through the structure they stood atop. It couldn’t blow out, but the wind shook every movement of it. Tantalizing and beckoning, it contained no soul as far as Meredith could see, yet had a will of its own. When she stopped in front of it, she realized just why she was feeling that way: it had no soul because it took from the soul of others.

Meredith could have laughed. The little pieces made sense: why it was used to forge the Weapons, why it could form an image of herself, and why it could know her deepest emotions, even the ones she had denied. It even explained why it would only activate at night, as if that was when it connected the best because of the darkness. Having figured out a piece of the puzzle, Meredith drew the broken blade, and stuck it into the flames.

At first, nothing happened. She certainly didn’t think it would. After a moment, however, a muddled voice rose up. It wasn’t entirely clear, still fractured and broken in places, but Meredith could sense it in her soul, the one inside the blade reaching out. Words failed it, but the intent was clear: she was close. One more to re-forge the blade. One more towards the future.

But will that give me answers? Will you tell me why? Will you help me?

The blade was silent on the issue, and Meredith began to feel her arms slacken. She pulled the blade out, and as the last of its jagged edge ended contact with the flame, she heard its response: eventually.

That was an answer that was good enough, and she hung her blade once more. Pushing aside the worries that had grown instead of being diminished, Meredith took the bottle that was with her and scooped it into the flames. They tickled her hand for a second, and when Meredith pulled back, a tiny flame was visible inside the flask. She corked it and held it up to the sky, away from the larger conflagration. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, but Meredith only watched the flame, small but holding.

Her reverie was jarred by a loud clapping sound. She lowered the bottle to stare over at the Guardian, two other candidates next to him. Neither of them was Vivian.

“Well, I think that’ll do it for the trial. Who’s ready to get down from here? It’s cold,” he said with a chuckle. Meredith wondered how he knew the trial was done and no one else would arrive, but when the Guardian put his hand on a pulley elevator, the braziers around them went out. All that remained was the dim first light of the day. The flame shrunk, becoming akin to a small campfire rather than the raging blaze it was before. At the same time, the lines of flame that had been their guides through the tower vanished.

The Twisted Towers had gone inert.

“Hey, you comin’?” one of the other candidates said. He looked bundled up, beckoning Meredith over. She nodded, tucking her bottle away and jumping on to the stable elevator. The Guardian made sure everyone was secure and then pressed a hand down.

Gravity exerted itself, activating the pulley and causing them to descend. Meredith frowned a little, the movement reminding her of Emil, wondering where he’d gotten to since his departure from Lacardia. Inevitably, it led around to Vivian, wondering why she hadn’t made it to the top. She sighed, observing the roof they’d just left, and how the towers twisted together and met at the apex of flame. It was dark and barren, and far less interesting than the ground where many had gathered. Once they arrived there, everyone left the elevator, the Guardian being the fastest off. Likewise, Eddie was the quickest to approach.

“Mera! How’d you do?” His enthusiasm came as no surprise, and Meredith faced Eddie with an immediate wink.

“Passed with flying colors. Got this thing, too!” Meredith pulled the bottle out once more to show it to Eddie. He threw a hand up, offering her the chance to high five it.

“What was it like in there? Everyone who came out failing…well, some have been lost in thought and others look confused,” Eddie said. His waving hands drew attention to the candidates around the settlement, much as she could see them in the rising dawn. Those she had gone down with looked euphoric, stretching and ready for sleep or departure. A yawn on her own lips made Meredith realize how tired she actually was, but she still had the sense of mind to look at those that hadn’t passed the trial: some were sitting, staring at the sky, while another was hunched over and mumbling. Still, others seemed to think training would get them to pass. Then there was…

“How did you pass?!” Vivian’s shrill tones indicated the girl’s reaction to her own loss. Meredith turned, watching the blonde tromp across the snow. Max hurried after her to pull her away, but Vivian wasn’t to be denied as she pushed Eddie aside and grabbed Meredith by the collar. “How?!”

“I just did it. I…” Meredith grew silent. Vivian’s snarling expression didn’t even register. It was impossible to explain, her tongue twisted up. “I overcame myself…I think…”

“That sounds like a load of crap!” Vivian pushed at Meredith, but she didn’t buckle. “What did you see?” No answer. “What. Did. You. See?!”

“I saw me,” Meredith said. She finally came back to a realization of her surroundings and slapped Vivian’s hands away. “I saw my path forward and I accepted it. I’m not afraid of you, Vivian, so back off!”

This time, it was Meredith’s turn to push the blonde off her and begin walking away. She didn’t make it far. Vivian’s hand grabbed her back, holding her fast. Meredith turned, ready to snap, when she saw the pleading, crazed look in her rival’s eye. Her soul was unbalanced, wavering all over the place, and Meredith knew why she had failed. “Then why did I see you? And why couldn’t he praise me…? What did I do wrong? Tell me, reject!”

The mirror…Meredith’s face softened, her thoughts hearkening back to what Emil would always say about them; how they were reflections. She couldn’t deny it, the loss within Vivian’s eyes, causing her to lash out. It was no different from her own failures before and how she would break. How I would break from fear…

“I can’t tell you that,” she said. Vivian didn’t let go, but her arm soon slumped, the fight leaving it. “It’s the Trial of Self, isn’t it? It’s not about me…”

Unable to say anything more, Meredith turned away. She could hear Vivian falling towards the ground, caught by Max. Then the blonde began to beat the ground. “Damn it! This can’t be happening! I can’t lose to such trash! I can’t! I can’t…”

“Lady Vivian, calm down. It’s all right. There’s always another chance. We can always move on. Your father-”

“Won’t care until I pass.”

“What does that mean?” Eddie asked, unable to help himself. Meredith sighed, exhaustion creeping into her now. She could hear Max opening his mouth to converse with Eddie, as though they were close friends, but Vivian stood to put an end to it.

“It means nothing. It just means you have a momentary victory. Enjoy it while it lasts, because I’m going to blast ahead of you. I just need to figure out how to beat you first.” Meredith rolled her eyes, craning her head to look at the blonde. Her cheeks were pink and her hair was wild, but she was facing down Meredith in a declaration. “I’m going to make sure I figure out how you passed this dumb trial and catch up in no time, even if it means circling around and beating you at the next trial. Trash like you shouldn’t-”

“Yeah, good luck with that, Viv. Do what you want,” Meredith said with a dismissive wave. Vivian spluttered, angrier at having been interrupted, but Meredith didn’t care. “Come on, Eddie. Let’s pitch the tent. I need some sleep. We start heading for the alchemic settlement in a couple hours.”

Leaving Vivian behind to stomp at the ground and observe her with venom, Meredith abandoned their rivalry to tuck in for sleep, the Flame of Identity flickering at her side. Eddie seemed less preoccupied with rest, but Meredith found herself drifting off to sleep before she could even lay down.

And when she awoke, she still asked the same taunting question: had she really overcome her fear at all?