My new camp was daring fate to come at me; the torture room held the last vestige of hope in escaping this hellscape. Two new corpses had appeared in the water, likely from Hendrick’s altercation the other day. One appeared half eaten; another grim reminder of the kind of monster I’d invited into camp. The corpses had to go before I could bunker down here and begin digging again. Scratches and scrapes littered my body and with only ointment they were too dangerous to let fester in the water. Not to mention the smell. That’s how the wolf found me; naked, dragging corpses out of the water.

“You think you could help with this?” Joking was the only way I could control my nerves. Every time he passed through boiling anxiety followed. He sought the light, nothing more, but the nagging fear that he’d turn on me never left.

Like every other time I’d attempted to talk to him he just stared at me. “Could get this done faster if you did.” I called, dragging the corpse over the rubble and along the hall. Far outside the lights reach, down another corridor that lead to a dead end, was where it met its final resting place. The thing was bloated, foul smelling and oozing out of places I never wanted to see again. Thankfully there was no food in my belly to retch, though my body tried hard. Now I had to move the half eaten one.

It was a welcome surprise to find the other corpse, and the wolf, gone when I returned. Knowing the wolf wasn’t a threat meant making camp here was possible. It seemed the dungeon had been cleared of any remaining prisoners leaving just me, the beast, and the lamp. The lamp was the only reason I was still alive now and I made sure it stayed on as long as possible. In the dark the wolf took on a different demeanour; watching me with a crazed sense to kill and an insane spark in his eyes.

Already wet and naked, I waded through the water stopping just before the wall. The hole I’d created seemed much smaller now that the light of the lamp filled the room instead of the flashlight. It was time for a new strategy. Back at camp I had called spikes from the earth to kill Hendrick; that hadn’t been a hazy dream born of a concussion. The Aether, and all the creatures whispering to me from it was real, and the power I’d called there was too. The spikes proved it. Now it was just a matter of controlling it again.

My quickly numbing hand touched the wall and hesitated, unsure of what to do. Pushing mana into the wall just resulted in beautiful swirls of blue light emanating from my hand, visible even under the light of the lamp; but nothing more. Frustrated, I raked my brain trying to remember what it felt like the first time I’d done it, but memories from the Aether, especially when you’re bodiless don’t stick well; one wasn’t supposed to remember what it was like to be dead after-all. I tried visualizing the wall moving aside for me, really holding the image in my mind but reality didn’t conform with it. In witchcraft it was will over body, so knowing that I focused on infusing the wall with my intent. Willing it to move. The swirls of mana reacted and seemed to fuse with the wall but beyond that nothing happened.

“Abra-kadabra!” Sighing, I pounded my first against the wall instigating another of my recurrent headaches. No inspiration was coming to me and the sneaking feeling of helplessness peeked out again. No, I wasn’t letting this defeat me. At some point the wolf had re-entered the room and seeing him looming at the edge of the water, tracking my every move sent me tumbling into the water.

“My god do you even know how to make a sound? You’re going to kill me just showing up like that.” I cursed. Determined to at least make some lasting effect on the wall I retrieved the spade from the netting on my pack and set about digging my way out. His eyes never left me. “You going to help or just gawk?” Of course, no answer.

When I felt I’d left a dent on the damned wall it was time to focus on eating. The concussion had caused me to sleep god only knows how long, top that with having to half my rations for the past two weeks and you got yourself a get slim fast diet. My hip bones now poked out, and my ribs were nearly visible now. With all the rations to myself I could afford to prepare a full meal now, to the great entertainment of the wolf. It was hard to ignore the gigantic man eater towering over my shoulder watching everything I did, but somehow, I managed. Today was one of the breakfast menus, Spicy Southwest Breakfast Hash. It tasted worse than the Chicken Vindaloo without someone to enjoy it with. The wolf didn’t count. He snaked his head over my shoulder to get a better sniff at what I was eating and in a split second my fear turned into annoyance.

“Do you mind?” Cradling my food in my lap only encouraged him to move closer trying to sniff it. After an awkward struggle that ended with him standing over me, I relented, “Fine, here.” Putting some of it onto one of the smaller bowls I pushed it away from me. The dish clattered as he licked it’s contents out. It didn’t take the wolf far enough away for my comfort, but the knot that twisted inside me the moment he was touching me eased a little.

The next six days blurred by. I tried various ideas and ploys to manifest that strange power, all to no success. Every meal was dogged by the wolfs insistence to sniff and try it, though he never attempted to kill me at least. Gradually, his presence grated less and less on me. The insane spark in his eyes still scared me whenever the lamp died, however, he never acted on it. At least not before the lamp was back on.

It was on the seventh day that my mettle began to bend. There was one more day of rations, a tunnel in the wall large enough to crawl into, and no signs of any cavern still. Working so hard and eating so little had left my body in a terrible state. My ribs were individually pronounced, even my wrists were skeletal looking. With so little fat left on me the cold of the water sapped my strength even faster meaning I had to dig in short bursts, then retreat to my sleeping back to warm up again. Once the food ran out it would be a short amount of time before I’m too weak to dig anymore. Then what.

Desperation stopped me from digging, instead I sat against the wall most of the day staring at the hole. The hope of finding a cavern had dwindled to embers and my hands shook whenever they gripped the spade now. It had dulled and bent from constant use making it difficult to make any significant impact anymore. Digging would not save me; my only hope now lay in my ability to control that power.

I had been digging straight this entire time hoping there was, and there wasn’t enough time to dig two stories up now. After everything I’d struggled with, my triumph over fate, my victory over death… It would seem fate always won. Grappling with the question of life or death I turned to meditation to find answers. It was the last resort of a desperate witch hoping to find some inspiration, some magical way out. Instead I found sleep.

On the last day of my ration I ate it in solidarity giving the wolf his token piece. Determined to survive, I took a fresh crack at trying to control those spikes. Failure faced me at every turn and an ear-splitting headache drilled into me by the end of the day.

Eighteen hours passed, kept by the battery of the watch and there was nothing to show for it. I’d failed. There was no magical escape or happy ending. The damsel befriended the beast, only to starve and be eaten by him. Bitterness filled my mouth.

Sometime through the night another poor soul fell through the trap door. His screams beckoned Doug from my side, and for once I wanted him to kill, if only to put them out of their misery. In the deafening silence that ensued it became clear to me that the wolf wasn’t in fact evil, but another victim of this nation’s cruelty. Forced to hunt in the dark like a rabid animal. The bitterness was hard to swallow.

- - -

The bed was uncomfortable and more than once I woke up with fur in my mouth, but I was the warmest I’d been in decades. When my eyes finally opened it became clear why; sometime through the night me and the wolf begun cuddling. My first instinct was to run, but when cold air hit me, it sent me further into the ball. I deliberated, and decided I’d rather sleep.

Eventually sleep could no longer keep me and reluctantly I untangled myself from him. We both stretched and went about the day. My entire focus was on the wall but apart from getting a headache nothing happened again. He lounged behind me, watching as always. Down here there wasn’t much else to do for him.

“Mind if I call you Doug?” His growl startled me, all the tiny hairs at the back of my neck raised. Instinct told me to run. “What? You don’t like it?” I gave him a devilish grin instead fighting my fear with humour. He snorted and turned away from me sulkily. The sudden shift fished a giggle out of me.

“Well what do I call you then?” He moved in a way very similar to a shrug, “Well… I don’t know… Shadowfang?” He gave me another look that caused me to laugh. “Ok yeah, I admit. Bit dumb.” I was drawing a blank though, “Honestly I can’t think of anything good. I dubbed you Doug the other day cus it made you seem less scary but,” I shrugged, “When you ask me to come up with something better all I think of is Clarence.” The disgusted grimace he showed with that one brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard.

Another day passed with no success and the remaining fat on my body was quickly disappearing. Sleeping now left bruises all over my body as my bones grated against the hard-stone floor. Doug was a constant companion, and my sanity grew to rely on him to keep me going.

When I was readying to go to sleep Doug nudged my pack towards me. At first it confused me, until he nudged it again and lied down expectantly, his paw flipping the bowl I normally placed his food in.

“I’m out of food.” He nudged it again. “Its’ gone. No more,” I splayed my hands out wide indicating there was none left. He seemed to understand that and left. “Damn, was he only here for the food?”

He was gone a while and woke me from a dead sleep by nudging me on my side until I turned the light back on. In his mouth hung a thick slab of raw beef. Gingerly he placed it down, nudging it towards me. It had to be human, there certainly wasn’t any cows down here, but even so my mouth watered.

“Thank you, but…” My stomach churned. I was starving, all my ribs poked out and my hands shook constantly now. I knew my body was shutting down from starvation, there wasn’t much time left; despite this, I couldn’t eat another person.

“No.” I shook my head, looking away from him. He grabbed it, chewing softly before dropping it before me again. He was trying to say I’ve eaten it too… Still, my answer was no. He considered me for a while, before eating it himself in one fell bite. We sat in silence beside each other for some time staring out at the pathetic hole.

“James says you’ve been here for three years, y’know.” His ear faced me, but he gave no other indication he could understand. Still, talking comforted me so I continued, “Why do you continue? Why not just give up? I can’t imagine what sort of hell you’ve been through having to face all this in the dark.” My own life had never prepared me to face the past two weeks down here… I refused to imagine what it would’ve been like if I couldn’t see.

“To be honest I don’t even know how I’ve managed to make it so far.” An uneasy silence fell. He nudged me and that was all the encouragement I needed to continue, “I spent my entire life living it up. The hardest question I’d ever faced was what did I want to do with the rest of my life?” I shrugged, “And you know, I took it in stride, went to university for a while. Worked, moved up within a company…” Where was I going with this? “But… I never really thought about why… Why bother? Why live? It never mattered, I never had to fight for it like I have now.” So why was I doing this? “In movies they always depict the hero having some,” I gestured with my hand, “Some greater purpose, you know? They want to save the world, they have some purpose they’ve found that only they can fulfill, no one else can replace them so they must continue on. Well…” I looked at my hands, “I don’t have that. I’m just some chick who…” I searched for the right words, “Who ended up in the wrong place, I guess. All I’ve ever wanted in life was to be happy. Eat lots, sleep lots, watch a lot of entertainment. Travel. Is that wrong? Is it not enough to want to just, live?” The silence returned, this time heavy and stifling. The wolf leaned onto his side stretching his head into my lap. My body froze and it took intense concentration for me to unlock all my limbs again.

Focusing on controlling my breathing I continued. “My dream is to own a house… In the middle of a patch of land, a big patch. Lots of forest, on the edge of a field surrounded by mountains and the ocean… Or a lake. I’d have pigs and cows, a little garden,” Absentmindedly my hand began to scritch his cheek, “There’d be internet there too, and any food imaginable would be served for dinner. A cat on my lap… Videogames for sure.” Wistfully I pictured the home in the reflection of the pool.

“We’re getting out of here Doug.” His eyes opened, resting solemnly on my face, “And we’re going to get that collar off you too. I’m guessing its what keeps you stuck in that form isn’t it? Does it explode or something? Either way, some day you’ll tell me your dream too, aight?” His face was impassive, but something sparkled in his eyes. “It’s a promise then,” I smiled.

Sleep didn’t come easily that night, even with the added warmth of Doug. I’d become hung up on the words that kept running in my mind whenever I recalled the night I’d summoned those spikes. I’d commanded them… And I’d felt them. Every time the wolf moved in and out of the camp each footfall ricocheted through me, and when I dug the spade into the wall, I felt it… When I slept it felt like the ground was apart of me. It bothered me long into the ‘night’, and my dreams revisited the camp over and over while beady eyes peered at me from the Aether.

Waking was hard for me the next ‘morning’. Ushered to get up by Doug’s persistent nudging it took me a moment to realize why. Deep in the dungeon the sound of the grate sealing the black room echoed. Fear froze my heart.

“How many prisoners does the kingdom kill?” Doug was determined to usher me out of the room, up the hall likely towards his old den. He had good reason to. I was in no condition to face any prisoners in here and with the light on they’d flock to us like moths to a flame. There wasn’t any time left… The tiny spark of hope refused to die. I would one day own my own home and die happy and fat. Not here.

“I’m not leaving here. That hole is our only chance.” Stripping, much to Doug’s irritation I waded out into the icy water. He grabbed my arm in his jaw, but I roughly shook him off. It had become clear he had no intention of actually hurting me, so despite seeing a massive saw of teeth holding my delicate skin it didn’t cow me. Facing the wall this time inspiration from last nights dream guided me. Instead of shying away from the feel of my racing heart and how I felt it vibrating through the earth around me I focused in on it. It wasn’t the remaining symptoms of my previous concussion. The earth was like a limb. It was me, and it would move.

With my entire attention on the wall ahead of me I placed my hand on it. Not only could I feel myself touching it, I could feel it being touched. The oddest of sensations, I pushed more of my awareness into it. It was hard to concentrate though. Behind me Doug was growling, hackles raised as he tried to urge me to leave.

Beyond the wall, there was no cave, at least not one anywhere nearby. Just a small crack and porous dirt that ferried the water six metres beyond the end of the hole I’d dug. Me and James would have long since perished before I broke through. Angry and desperate I willed the earth to move but for this will wouldn’t work. Instead, like opening one’s hand I commanded it to move like I would any appendage. The earth beyond my palm began to shift, loose dirt spilled into the water around me while the walls groaned and cracked around the hole. Dirt compacted and a small hole formed, just large enough for me to crawl through with my things in tow. A momentous amount of energy drained from me and black dots appeared in my vision. I felt faint but despite that, my glee was barely containable and was the only thing powering me to rush through the water slamming my things into my pack. Doug stood stock still, staring at the hole.

The dirt scratched my bare skin and the hole was tight. At points my heartrate spiked when it squeezed me to a stop and its pounding caused the ground around me to shudder. A nudge to my backside brought me back to reality and the paralyzing fear broke away.

Beyond it was the cave, so far out of reach without sorcery. I toppled out of the hole, naked, wet and cold. Behind me the sounds of scratching followed, and a whine.

The hole was too small for Doug to climb through. He’s a man-eating beast, its better this way. Guilt immediately flushed me. If I let him out and he was in fact raving mad, any deaths would be on my conscious. Still... I’d promised we’d get that collar off, and he was going to tell me his goal. I bit my lip and decided. With a shuddering groan the hole widened using the last reserves of my strength. By the time he’d crawled through I was on my knees panting.

The cave was naturally formed and not tall enough for Doug to stand to his full height. Huge stalagmites jutted from the ground; others were formed in large clusters leaving little room to tread. We’d have to weave our way through to get out. Water flowed through the cracks in the rock and dripped from the stalactites. If any one of them fell on us it would surely kill us.

My legs refused to support me, and I barely missed a cluster of stalagmites. Doug was practically vibrating with impatience; he was already halfway to the bend when he heard me fall. Without hesitation though, he came back for me bending his head close. He pulled me from the floor taking on most of my weight. On unsteady legs he led me through the rest of the cavern. Rounding the bend, we were met with a narrow passage with enough room for one person at a time, lined by tall naturally formed pillars. Water ran down the lengths of the almost melting looking stone. It would be a squeeze.

He nudged me forward, keeping his head to my back to support me as we inched through. Despite my weakened state my heart was racing. We were so close. A slight breeze chilled me, but the fresh air gave me a high. So close!

As we trudged forward, my legs getting heavier with every step the tunnel seemed to brighten. At first, I mistook it for the lamp, but the tunnel was brightening! A grin plastered itself across my face. “We’ve done it Doug. Look.” With the lamp off the light at the end of the tunnel showed us the way. It led to a small open chamber almost rounded, with a gradual incline towards a magnificent waterfall that guarded the entrance to the cave we were in. We’d done it. We’d escaped.

I collapsed.