“Someday, you’ll find even the limitless stars pales in comparison to the extent of even a single person. All of us contain a character deep inside us waiting to be shown to the world—all it takes is a little patience and perseverance to polish that gemstone. Action is the fuel to the engine, as patience is the map. The very stars in the sky will guide you until the very ends of the world. You hear, you little snowball? I’m not lookin’ for somebody with some superhuman gifts. How much you wanna risk? Will you run as far as the lands can stretch?”

・・・・・

I opened my eyes to the ray of blue white light trickling through the array of windows in the dorm room. Yet again, my body began the day with a palpitating heart as well as shallow breaths completely out of my control. Ah… it’s always scary whenever this happens... It must’ve been from another eventful dream, but my mind had already forgotten what the dream was about. At this point, I paid no mind to it as I had far more pressing matters to worry for.

The sun had just barely peered over the horizon from the view of where I laid. From the sounds of the occasional rustling and sniffs, everyone else was still dozing off underneath their blankets. That should be expected, sleeping in over the weekend is only natural after a long grueling week of labor. Course that only means we only get the morning off. Sitting up, I felt no grogginess in the slightest. Despite the manner in which I woke up, it’s quite rare for me to rise up without so much of a hitch like this. I haven’t felt this awake in the morning since the first mornings of the Snow Festivals. If only this would be the case for every single morning of the year… but life isn’t that forgiving I suppose.

But I’m at least thankful for this little extra energy as this task in my hands won’t be an easy one. In order for me to meet up with that loner of a woman, I’d have to be careful not to alert anyone when leaving from the dorms into the mill and then out. And that includes our caretaker Rosalind with her hawkeye vision. She’d definitely be awake at this hour. Outside the mill, people would also be up at this time going about the town, but they wouldn’t bat an eye. That would just leave Rosalind as the primary obstacle to overcome.

“How am I going to get past her…” I brought my knees to my chest and looked out the window to watch the light slowly illuminate brighter. Ah… I’m way too unprepared… Unfortunately, I still had duties to attend to all throughout the weekend and Chloe likely wouldn’t be too happy ironing for three days straight without assistance. Making promises in the spur of the moment really isn’t a good idea isn’t it? Sorry Chloe... Better go apologize to her later and make the most of this time as best as I can.

And so, I hopped out of bed, quickly folded my sheets, tippy-toed out of the dorm room into the washroom, fixed my bed hair by the mirror, splashed icy cold water onto my face, and made my way out to the dining hall.

Peering my head through the entrance, no one was present: just the still life of neatly organized utensils sprawled across the counter. Hm… I’d thought that Mom would be off getting a head start whipping up breakfast before even the early risers had a chance to barge in. Apparently, that wasn’t the case? Perhaps she was waiting for the assigned helpers today to cook instead? No, just them alone wouldn’t be enough for a whole feast, they’d still need help from Rosalind. Our caretaker’s efficiency is sometimes scary, but even then a headstart is needed for tasks like this.

But I guess not? The only thing left to do was to just make a beeline to the entrance and that would put an end to the escape. And that I will. If only I could just—

“—What are you doing up so early, my dear Nagi?”

—Eep! I instantly turned my whole body around to the source of the voice, and exchanged looks. A woman towered over me as she finished up tying her hair to a bun: Rosalind, my caretaker—the single worst possible situation.

“Ah..! Err… I… Um…” Not good. Words aren’t forming together in the slightest. Not that there was any way I could explain myself out of this situation. No matter what words I would use, nothing would convince her of anything I say. The fact that my presence here basically refutes anything that would come out of my mouth, and I think Rosalind knew that too as she tilted her head with a smile on her face.

“I never expect you of all children to be sneaking into the kitchen and stealing some snacks. Though, I wouldn’t put it past you for doing so. The chocolate chip cookies that were baked this week are much more delectable than ever.”

“Ah… err…”

What could I have done to deserve this cruel mistress? Now she’ll think I have a sugar addiction…

But as soon as my head was about to drop, a smile crept across her face. “Hehe. Just kidding~ with those outside gear of yours, I dare say you’re not the type of girl to stain things with food. I’m well aware, sneaking off somewhere were you?”

...Ahah, I should’ve expected her to be joking. And I shouldn’t have overestimated my abilities to sneak around; I knew Rosalind’s housekeeping is one of the strictest kinds. She probably saw it written all over my face the moment I looked up at her that I wanted to skip my duties. Even though she doesn’t try to control me in particular due to my perfect track record, this would most definitely disappoint her.

“I… I’m sorry. I just wanted to… to...”

Rosalind let out a small chuckle as she brought her hand near her face “Ah… You truly are adorable, Nagi. The same as ever I see. Very well, I shall forgive you this once.”

I blinked my eyes two, three times. What was that? She’ll... forgive me?

“I… huh? Y-You will?”

“It is a weekend after all, children need time to frolic in the flowers I suppose. And the weather is indeed fairly calm this morning. I shouldn’t be too surprised to find at least one who would want to bathe in the early sunlight. In fact, I was planning on dismissing everyone of their duties for the coming days after seeing the many birds flying high in the sky. I just didn’t expect to announce the news this early.”

I could only smile bitterly. Thank the Dragon for those birds! Great for them, no less everyone in the mill would have wanted a little vacation. Looking back at it now, I could laugh at how much worrying I went through only for it to amount to nothing. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all?

“—But it's still not quite pleasant enough to go anywhere without cold protection. Something warm such as this should provide sufficient value.” Rosalind walked over to the coat hangers and produced a white, cotton scarf. She proceeded to wrap it around me: the moment I realized just how anxious I was as the warmth instantly caused my tense muscles to loosen. Indeed, it was warm. Really warm.

“Snow is a wonderful thing. If you ever come to truly know it yourself, take care not to lose it. You must cradle it in your hands, and hold it close, hold it tight. Now, off you go to your little travels, Nagi. Take care.”

“I will. Thank you, Mom!”

With that brief exchange, Rosalind left me to my own devices as she waltzed into the kitchen I had initially scoped. I was so caught up with everything that I forgot just how nice and forgiving our Mom is. Rosalind’s kindness really is amazing. Gosh, if she knew where I was heading off to, I wonder if she would still send me off in that same manner?

Still, I’d rather not let anyone else see me sneaking out and add salt to the already gaping wound. Answering everyone’s curiosity all day and skewing the truth at the same time would not be so desired. With the main obstacle taken care of, the only thing left to do is to not wake anyone up and draw attention to myself. Now this should be a breeze. And so I instantly headed for the main entrance and allowed the light to peer in through the doors.

Just like our caretaker said, I felt a tad bit warmer than usual out today. By this point, the sun had lit up the clouds in front of it, making for a slightly overcast, yet bright day. Of course, there were people up and about even during this hour taking advantage of the weather. And, I’m going to be one of those people. Closing the door behind me, I took my steps onto the snow and headed off into the same pathway into the East Forest—

“—Oi, Nagi!”

—My heart skipped a beat. Urgh… Would it hurt not to have anymore jumpscares this morning? Not even a couple of meters in and I’m already caught yet again… But wait, that voice… Tobias? I turned my head and a sickly boy wrapped in layers of coats and scarves entered my vision. In his hands was a bucket of water filled up to the brim. He must’ve been fetching some water from the nearby river for his family back home. As he ran towards me, trying his best to not let it spill, he had a look of relief on his face, and speaking of which, seemed paler than usual.

“By gosh, you made it out... *sniff* When we escaped from that beast’s den, we haven’t had so much of a glimpse of you since then. *Sniffle* I’m just glad to see you in front of me right now.”

“You... don’t seem too alive yourself though.”

“Oh. *sniffle* This? I caught a cold during that trip, unfortunately. It hurts my back being stuck in the house bed-ridden ever since, my parents not letting me leave except for necessary tasks like this.” Tobias lifted up the bucket, its contents sloshed around a bit.

“Oh… Sorry to hear that. I hope for your recovery. And… Keery? How is he?”

He sighed. “Appreciate it. And as for my brother... Well, let’s just say he isn’t taking it so well after what had happened that night. He basically ‘self bed-ridden’ himself and locked himself in his room doing who knows what. Golly, I’m sure he’s conflicted about his life at the moment after finding proof of something you denied for so long. Oh, and by the way, we haven’t told anyone what we found there yet. We’d rather not add any more on our already filled plates.”

“That’s a smart choice.” Whew, I have to sympathize with Keery. Having your beliefs challenged like that can surely hit anyone’s confidence. Much in the same way as when I listened to Velma’s explanations that night, except that… what we ‘confirmed’ were pretty much polar opposites.

“So can I ask you what are you doing out here so early like this?” Tobias wiped his nose with his free hand, “*sniffle* Usually I don’t see you up and about during these hours. Anything happened?”

My thoughts strayed from that question as my eyes drifted from him. Shoot... I didn’t exactly have a response for that. It’s very much a bad idea to tell him about the Beast not really being a Beast after all of that struggle. What could I say that won’t sound like a complete fabrication and make him suspicious? Other than… the truth?

“Can I trust you to not tell anyone about this?”

I figured answering his question my own question would have made Tobias confused as he gave me a look the moment I asked.

“Um… why are you being so secretive?”

“Just tell me.”

Tobias’s eyes narrowed even more before he eventually sighed, “Alright, gollee. I promise. Lips are sealed. Now what is it?”

I took a deep breath. Whatever will happen as a result of me saying this, let’s just hope that the consequences won’t be too harsh.

“...I’m actually about to head in there again.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“EEEEHHHHHH???!!—”

I swatted my hand over his mouth the moment I saw his mind register my words. And the instant I did, the boy began flailing his arms, which spilt some water down the bucket’s sides in his hands.

“HFmmph .. MMMf rrmmff?!?!”

“Now just calm down, Tobias… Let’s not make this difficult for the both of us…”

“MMMFMFM?!?!”

Pretty sure he thought that was a threat but, I wasn’t going to have him cause a scene after being so close to the end. Eventually the boy managed to calm down and nodded after I asked him if he won’t yell at the top of his lungs. When I removed my hand, he rubbed his mouth against his sleeve and garnered a disgruntled expression as if he was playing the victim card.

“*Cough**Hack!* Can’t you see I’m sick here…? *sniffle* But... Shucks... the East Forest? I got so many questions right now, but you’d probably not listen to any of them… Out of the three of us, I’d never expect you to be the one to make a return trip to that place… Not to mention so soon too...”

It wasn’t as if he was wrong, I would have ditched him here the moment he started questioning my sanity.

“*Sigh* Well, whatever it is you're intending to do there, I wish you good luck. It’s safe to assume that I don’t need to tell you to stay away from that thing as much as possible. And... don’t worry, I still won’t tell a soul about this.” the bucket in his hand sloshed as he went to adjust one scarf that was slipping, “But I just have ta ask, why? It’s not like you’re going back to pick up something you dropped. And it’s not like you’re gonna finish the deed that was left unfinished.”

“Why… It’s kind of hard to explain. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t understand even if I say it.”

“I could try?”

It is hard to articulate your thoughts well. Especially to try and explain an unbelievable situation such as this. Better yet, at the same time, swaying the truth as much as possible. At this point, it was basically impossible.

But then I realized, I have waited for this moment for so long ever since I could remember… that I couldn’t describe why. Why was I so motivated for so long?

Especially by the prospect of miracles, when miracles are often so associated with fantasy? I couldn’t think of a reason—if there was one at all. There was nothing I could do but to say the truth once more, Tobias deserved it after all.

“I… don’t know. I don’t know, so that’s why I’m heading there to find out.”

・・・・・

“I really don’t like those pointy shrubs…” I complained, feeling the soreness everywhere from the stretch of shrubs I had to cut through a third time.

“Hahaha! There’s a reason why I camped out here, and that’s so that I wouldn’t have to deal with other living beings!”

The proud face Velma had put on when she said that really irked me, and yet, I probably would have done the same if I were in her shoes. To be a mysterious foreign woman that had settled in a northern region by a small fracture on the side of a mountain surrounded by a forest—it’s an idea that would never cross a whole town’s minds. I couldn’t blame her for doing so, she must’ve landed on the same conclusion as those early pioneers that settled up here how many years ago. Yet, it’s still a notion so absurd, that people would think I’m dwelling in my imagination, but who is the one to talk again?

But hey, there was Velma in the flesh: that same woman that I had met one night who showed me the world in just this little spot in the mountain. Instead of the flickering orange glow of the campfire lighting the walls with a warm hue, the base took on the color of the morning sky. Every nook and cranny of the space appeared to be exactly where I had last remembered them to be. It was the same familiar secret hideout. Glad to be in here again.

“Anywho, here you are, Junior. I see you upheld your promise and didn’t bail on me—’cause this won’t be an easy expedition.” Velma said, rolling out a piece of paper revealing a map inside.

“Is it that bad?”

“You’ve seen the atlas for yourself. Heading straight over there to Sozuraka would be basically a death sentence for a six year old. That’s why, as much as we can, we best be resting in pit stops in towns we come across along the way.” She pointed on the map to what seemed like a squiggly line, “Planning out the route, I’d say following the Fairhaven River can help us get a foot in the door in the expedition. From there, we can follow the trail of paths, cutting through Alkai, and leading up to Sozuraka’s mountain. I hope those puny legs of yours don’t snap under pressure.”

“Very... encouraging.” I was just about to correct my age for the 13th time when something peculiar caught my eye on the map: something strange about the route we were taking. As I looked over the map, it hit me. We could save a lot of time and cover less ground if we were to nudge the direction just a little more to the left.

“...Um. Wouldn’t it be faster if we go through the ear of Alkai?”

“Err, huh? Did you just say ear?”

I pointed at the light blue part of the map, “If you look at it in the right angle, the right side of Alkai looks kind of like a cat’s head and… that pointy bit above looks like an ear.”

“...Of course you would make observations like that. Now that she pointed it out, it does look like a cat’s head. *Ahem* Anyways, let’s just say it would be disadvantageous for the both of us to cut through the ear at the moment.”

“Why’s that?”

I scanned through the map one more time. Not one single issue that we could come across jumped out at me. In fact, the way seemed like the obvious path to take.

“Hm. Well…” She murmured, putting a finger on her chin, “It’s just... difficult to actually head through that part of the region. The terrain really sucks there for anyone who wants to pass through it. It’s just not a viable option for us in our case.”

Ah. Well, I guess you could only garner so much information from a flat piece of paper. She is the one with the experience after all.

“I see…”

“Other than that though,” Velma rolled up the map and stuck it inside her belt pouch, “our route is basically secured. We could preeetty much head out at any time.”

“—Then let’s go!”

“Hey, cool it.” Velma said, lightly chopping my head in much of the same manner as Chloe would, “No need to be so impatient. Diving head first into things without preparation is never a good idea. This isn’t some movie where we’re going off slaying goblins. The whole point in us doing this is to make it out alive.”

I tilted my head, “Movie? Goblins?”

“Geh. Nevermind. Like I was saying, this nutty plan of ours ain’t gonna be an easy run. As such, our first order of business should be to prepare and gather up some supplies. I took the liberty myself and scavenged some stuff for the adventure.”

“Like what—”

“—Here catch.”

The next thing I knew, most of my vision had been completely blocked by some blurry, flying object I had little time to react to: a burlap sack hurled to my face that I managed to catch at the last second. Good thing I’ve been training with Chloe for this moment. But the instant I held onto its sides, I noticed it was incredibly dense, packed to the brim with who knows what—the most bizarre of which were some cylindrically feeling objects through the fabric. What the heck was going on inside this bag? It reminded me of… pots and pans?

“Is this…?”

“At least not in town, but out in the wilderness? Yep, we’re gonna hunt some wild boars as our main source of food. And we’re gonna use those inside that to smoke ‘em up.”

Ah… I guess we can’t have a hot pot everyday.

“It gets pretty hot down there. I’m sure you don’t know this, but I remember learning a king of Sozuraka had been paid a visit by another royal figure, a queen, who actually brought a caravan of treasure for him. Maybe as some kind of commemoration of their nation’s relationship? Anyways… we’re gonna use that same path that queen used to get to the bottom of this case. Though, not a lot of wild animals that can function as food sources are native in that area, so hunting there won’t be an option. We’d not want to die in a ditch on the side of the road from starvation. And that’s why I thought of one nifty solution.”

Nifty solution?

“Ice. Hunt early on, and with a lot of ice, it’d be enough to keep the boxed lunch cold. And where else would we get that?”

That’s when it clicked.

“Oh you…”

I wasn’t sure why I didn’t expect her to extort me as much as possible. Maybe it’s just a cultural thing for adults to do that? Hah. I’ll find out my answers soon enough, because Velma tossed her burlap sack over her back, put a hand on her hip, and faced me by the entrance.

“Alright. Now our preparations are finished. With that, let’s summarize the objective of this expedition. Our goal: to uncover whatever the hell is going on with that spot marked with a hidden x near the mountain of Sozuraka. Got it, Junior?”

I nodded. On the outside it may appear to be just a simple nod. But on the inside… there was that feeling again from that night. How can I put it? It’s like a hot feeling in the bottom of your chest. Like the one that makes you want to shout and run around town without a care in the world.

“Is this… what exploring feels like?” I asked without warning which caught her off guard. Velma took a couple of seconds to ponder before she gave a reply back.

“...It’s something so valuable that people risk their own lives to acquire and protect it. You’d be hard-pressed to find anything remotely close to it.”

That was when the light of the sun peered into the hideout, illuminated everything inside the little camp, including Velma, as she patted my head with a somewhat forceful hand.

“See for yourself how dearly important it is to spread your wings. Now… enough questions! Onto our departure! Whatever you do, Junior, don’t hold me back!”

“Aye, aye!”

And thus, I said my goodbyes to Sappora, at least, for a short little while.

・・・・・

Our feet crunched through the snow with every step on the unfamiliar path making effective time. We had already emerged from the foliage of the East Forest and now traversing on ground completely unknown to me. If I hadn’t known otherwise, I would have gotten myself utterly lost at the mercy of the mountain pass with just a single wrong turn—if it wasn’t for her.

This was the first time I’ve seen Velma outside of the Eastern Forest. The outside lighting really accentuated her and her faded orange hair which would have been a cause for concern if she wanted to keep a low profile. And yet, Velma somehow managed to elude an entire town for who knows how long. It only made me wonder more of the region she came from. Just what is life like out there?

The clangs of the gear inside our burlap sacks continued throughout the trip. The route we took was far from conventional as we planted our feet onto unstable rock more than half the time. Cutting corners left and right around the mountain was apparently her intuition of the fastest way forward. At some points of the trek, Velma would have me scale up some steep segment and cheer for me from above where she’d be sitting and picking at her nails. I wouldn’t say I was too fond of strenuous, back-splitting exercise.

“Having fun down there?” Velma would ask often and I would groan everytime in response.

“Urrrgh…” It’s safe to say traveling was much harder than I thought and perhaps even unpleasant. The bitterness should fade, however. The pain should be all well worth it in the end. I’m sure of it.

I could only imagine the strange and bizarre things I’d observe outside that would override any feelings of discontent along the way. I know how to read and write—I’d write it all up in a series of letters to my mother and father, and stash it somewhere safe until the moment I get back. And then, I could shove them into their faces, forcing them to read them one by one… I’d envision their jaw-dropping reactions to it all… while I sit with them near the warmth of our fireplace inside what I called to be… ‘home’.

“—Whew, it should be smooth sailing from here.”

Before I had even realized it, we had reached a point on the route that was all too familiar to me, to a place where I’ve only been to only once before—the same location where I was pushed back by my mother on that day. That stormy day. Ah… I remember that same deep crevice in the rocks, that same tree protruding through the cracks, that same slight burn in my nose from the cold air of the high altitude… And that missing section on the side of the mountain’s peak… It was all… too familiar.

...Nagi…! It’s ok! It’s going to be alright!

—I was more unprepared than I thought. I simply believed I could cross the border between me and the world without so much as anticipating how exactly I was going to do so. Was this same exact path really the only way to the outside world...? Did it really have to be this same nightmarish place?

Dear! Stay close to me…! It’s going to be fine! We’ll be ok!

I thought I could’ve moved on from that day. But instead of a long continuous flow, the passage of time seemed to spiral out of nowhere. There was a high pitch sound. A continuous long shriek garnered inside my head. The sound was so small, but it seemed like the loudest noise in the valley. I plugged my ears out of instinct, but that had absolutely no effect. Nothing. I couldn’t get it out. It kept going. And going. And looping. And shrieking. Until… I eventually made out words of the noise. It was a question. A question that had lost all meaning now.

Will you run as far as the lands can stretch?

Why do you keep asking me this question, dad? I want to... I really want to. No… I need to. So then, why are you asking me yet again? Why are you still asking me that same question over and over again? Of course, I will go to the ends of the world just as you wanted me to.

Is it guilt? I thought that I’ve already accepted my past, but it still proved persistent. Like a scar on a tree, perhaps on myself—I’m being withered away. Slowly but surely. It was just one mistake. Just one simple mistake that became so permanent… Do I really want to go…? Do I really want to… go exploring…?

But that’s one of the reasons I love you: you’re innate curiosity with the world we were placed in. And you definitely will fulfill that curiosity, no matter what happens. I bet my life savings on that.

Don’t say that. Not now. Please. It hurts so much. I thought I would be granted that promise I’ve made with Rosalind today. But is even this not enough? Not with the additional promise of another? All because of this overwhelming sense of…

Dread

My heart is pounding in my chest, like it’s tearing itself apart. My vision is tunneling. I kept on taking deep breaths, but it’s like my lungs are separated from my body. The weight of the shoulder straps grew more and more—enough so that I’d collapse into the snow at any moment. I feel so sick. I’m scared. I need to flee here right now. Anywhere but here. Please. Is there anything I can do to stop this? Anything, anything at all...?

・

“—Junior?”

“Ah—!”

Velma? As I turned to look at her, she was staring back at me with a concerned expression.

“...Are you alright?” she asked.

I didn’t respond. Not that I didn’t want to. I was still feeling the effects of the daze from that occurrence I’ve never experienced before. How long did that last? How long did Velma call out to me for? A second? A minute? My heart rate was far from calm, and my legs still felt like they were about to give. ...I hate myself so much for letting myself succumb to that. I’m suring she was thinking I wouldn’t even survive through the first day if I couldn’t after this little distance. I could only stay silent. This, in turn, gave her time to suggest something I was fearing she would say.

“Let’s call it off—”

“—No!”

I’m sure my instant response made her jump, but there was no way I was going to quit now after all this way. All that was in front of me now was to grit my teeth and walk past this site.

“I’m… still fine… We can keep going.” I whispered.

There was no way Velma was going to buy that, and it was painfully obvious she didn’t. But she just now seemed to stop herself from saying anything else. She turned forward and looked around her shoulder to me.

“On that night when you first barged in my place without permission, you said something on the lines of you having me by your side. Well, let me remind you that after, I didn’t argue with that statement. Because I couldn’t. There was nothing incorrect about what you said.” Velma said as she began to pick up her pace, leaving me behind, “...If you pass out now, I’m ending it right then and there and dragging you back home.”

I could only tell myself one thing. Don’t look back. That’s what I got to do in order to go forward. It’s gonna be all worth it. All worth it.

“—Khh!”

I swatted my face with my two hands, causing a sharp pain that reverberated throughout my entire body—it was this wake up slap that I needed the most. I was in a much better state to finally step through the snow and catch up to Velma, who was waiting for me by the cliffside. As the chilly wind picked up speed, so did I.

I want to experience the world for what it truly is. To witness the grand expanse of the real world. I want to... understand what it means to be free, and not be locked up in a soulless, freezing prison.

“Hey look Junior, check out this view…” I hear Velma said, of which when I looked up to her, didn’t let up her gaze in front of us.