“Nagi, be the change you want to see in the world.”

But how can I possibly do that...

...if I haven’t even changed a single thing about myself?

This is my power. To freeze the world in its wake. To leave the world in permafrost.

...

Everything up until now, where did I go wrong?

How many years has it been... ever since she came into my life?

・

All throughout my childhood, my mother and father have always said I was young, too young to be questioning the world. Yet, the only world that I knew of was this one little town that we all resided in. We were something of a close community: white hair, light skin, and cyan eyes were the features we all shared. This didn’t occur to me that every living human does not all actually have these traits, until I saw my first passerby at the age of 7. It was as if I was staring at an alien... even if I didn’t even have the concept of aliens at that time. I remember hiding behind my mother and peeping my head in order to take a look at him, but really, it only caused him to bring his attention to me. Ah… Yeah... My mom never took appreciation for my shyness towards others. The man smiled and waved at me when he noticed my frightened expression which, at least, made me ease a little.

Non-adults like me were not allowed outside of the town. Not because we couldn’t, but we just couldn’t be able to: miles and miles of snow encompassed us in every direction. Luckily we have plenty of natural resources to keep us alive, but not so much for our entertainment itches. For that, we turned to writing and sharing stories, or at least, the original settlers that have established the town did. Those stories they’ve written are now passed down generation to generation within the people.

The best scare tactic that the adults like to use is the myth of the beast that plagues the eastern forest right next to the town. It wasn’t known among our little kid’s group if the story was actually true or not. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if the adults knew if it was true or not. This, however, hasn’t detracted those with a natural curiosity to the world.

In the end of that same childhood, that would have happened. I remember how I laid awake in an immobile wagon that night, in a state of calm, watching the stars in the night sky. And at that very moment, I heard a voice calling out my name in a somewhat quiet fashion.

・・・・・

“...Nagi... Oi Nagi!”

Urgh… Such a pain. I just wanted to relax this one time while the opportunity was there too… My bangs fell over my eyes as I shifted around the wagon, receding back into reality from a trance. That familiar voice came from behind the wagon alongside the rather intense snow crunching beneath leather boots. It was one of the older kids in the village, Keery, and he was definitely running beyond what normal legs could handle. As the crunching stopped, I sat up and looked behind to see Keery with his hands on his knees, heaving.

“Haah… Haah… H… Hey… I… Heard…” He began, ever so trying to communicate his thoughts. His wool cap covered the view from his face, but it was obvious he used up all he had just to get to this wagon. Judging how his fingers that stuck out from his fingerless glove have yet to be reddened, he certainly went out of his way to leave the warmth of some cabin just to get my attention. Whatever he wanted, it must’ve been important, but...

“Please collect yourself first.”

“H… You’re right.” After a solid 30 seconds of deep breaths have passed, Keery slapped his face with the palms of his hands boldly before clearing his throat, “*Ahem* I heard that you’ve been outside the town once, haven’t ya?”

—Ah, I knew it. So that’s what it was. We hardly even know each other personally; Keery was just a friendly neighborhood acquaintance in which we were forced to know each other alongside the dozens of others around the town. Because of that, there would have been no reason for him to personally come up to me, other than the fact that I did indeed have left the town once before.

I gave a reluctant nod. “...Yup I have.”

“So the rumors were true. Good.” He said, giving off a smirk, “See, we could get some help with exactly that.”

Help? Don’t tell me… He motioned his arm apart beyond the outskirts of town into the great snowy fields and thus, confirming what I’ve been dreading.

“Well, we’re actually recruiting people with a lotta outside experience to go to the East Forest with us!”

Those last few words repeated at least three times in my head and yet, it took me a few seconds to register it in my mind. The East Forest? A place unknown to us except for the sounds of the branches creaking, the pine scent carried by the wind, and the gray fog that permeates the foliage. I bit my lip. He wants to go to that place...?

“Shucks, Keery... Don’t be so loud...! Do you want people to find out!? Golly...”

Interrupting my train of thought was another voice popped up behind him, alongside a head behind his arm. It was Keery’s younger brother, Tobias, who definitely has the case of timidness. I swear… his timidness probably trained his skill of sneaking around, as I have no clue where he even came from and without me even noticing.

“Oh, Tobi. Looks like you came in second.”

He gave his brother a stare before sighing and shifted his attention back to me. “But I can’t believe it’s actually true… Nagi, you’ve actually been outside once?”

“It… really wasn’t all that special.” I said, turning my gaze away.

Yes, we were a secluded village. You couldn’t argue that fact. People here took pride in being independent from the rest of the world, which was far out of the reach of much of the other civilizations in the region. I’ve learned the original settlers chose this arctic region solely due to the fact that it would have been extremely difficult for anyone else to raid them. Bandits, enemy tribes, or even invading armies — whoever they were, a sea of uncrossable snow awaited them. Eventually, the pioneers grew fond of the area, and built a permanent settlement which would have transformed into what we have now. In addition to that, their bodies have adapted to the cold climate into what basically we look like.

Over the years, lores were passed down, because of course they had to. Stories about demon beasts, of spooky apparitions, of heroic conquerors, they were all fascinating to me as a child. But it eventually left a bad taste in my mouth… as we were told to never go east of the village; it was an absolute rule. That is where a terrifying beast once froze the entirety of it and is now lurking inside. These two, Keery and Tobias, have to carry a lot of resolve to be aware of all of this and simultaneously challenge those same traditions.

“I don’t quite understand, isn’t that where we’re told never to go? Because of that big, scary monster that lives in the forest?”

“*Sigh* Damn. So you’re gonna blindly believe the adults like this, huh?” Keery kicked the layer of snow in front of him, “Do you actually still believe in that fake legend? Not even that, but basically every other thing out there? Not once have I seen any monster in my whole life.”

That hurts. I hate to admit it. I’m that type of person who just follows what other people say without question, just so I wouldn’t stand out and attract attention. At first, when I heard about these stories, I remember feeling intrigued, but slowly lost faith in everything they told us. But then soon as I stopped deeming them to be genuine, something happened that made me truly believe that supernatural beings are out there. Something too difficult to reminisce over. I hugged my knees and dipped my head in shame.

“...If it makes you feel any better, only now did Keery begin teasing me for speaking to the Snow Dragon Niebieski.” Tobias said passively. He might’ve taken my head drooping for being ashamed of believing the stories to this day. Even though I couldn’t care less, I’ll accept the kind words.

“Oi.” Keery punched his brother’s arm multiple times. After finishing the enthusiastic taps, he took a deep breath and ran his hand through his own hair underneath his cap. “Listen, Nagi. Aren’t you kinda tired of staying within this place? Like what else are we supposed to do ‘sides doing our homework and trying to control our ice?”

“Shucks. I can’t help but think brother hit the nail on the head right there...” Tobias rubbed his arm and glared at Keery, “—Plus, our mom said she even wanted us to one day go out of the village to the real world sooner rather than later.”

“Exactly. And we might as well be exploring our homes for real instead of one square kilometer of it. We need your experience. Wha’dya say? Tomorrow?”

“..I.. uh... u—.” I really didn’t know how to respond to this. To be asked to take part in a risky adventure like this out of the blue nearly froze me into a statue.

“Plus if the damn beast does exist, we’ll beat ‘em up like any old exploration team would. Now, pleeeeaaasse?”

They really weren’t letting up, are they? Just because I had to go out of the town like that, I’m suddenly the popular one, huh. —Shoot… Why did it have to be me? Why did I have to come along with my parents to the outside world like that…?

Nevertheless, I looked back up at the stars in the night sky. “It’s just that… the annual Snow Festival is tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“...Yeah, I’m all aware. There’s a reason why I planned on the day of the festival specifically. We’ll go at night, when all of the adults are too busy getting drunk with alcohol or something like that. There’s a golden opportunity in our hands and I’m not going to let it slip away.”

...That is smart. Now that I thought about it, we’d be able to sneak by pretty easily without anyone noticing. There wouldn’t be a sliver of a chance that someone would catch us heading off there. It should be easy. It should. But, can I really say the same when I’m in the moment, walking on that trail and suppressing the memories?

“I’d rather not. I just can’t do it… Sorry.”

What was worse than anxiety, was the feeling of disappointing others thanks to your own incompetence. And I’d rather not let it last. Hopping off of the wagon, my boots touched the soft snow beneath.

“I’m going home.”

Keery sighed. “Dammit, seems like your persuasion tactic failed Tobi.”

“Forcing your opinion on her was not what I said! Gee—”

“—Nagi, just you wait.” With a sudden shift in tone, Keery widened his stance and held his hand out. A rod of ice took shape within his palm which gradually formed itself into a hilt, a guard, and then a blade. Wielding a silver blue sword of ice, he took a couple of swings before raising it straight towards me.

“I’ll be just like you to experience what outside the town is like, and go beyond that. Don’t go crying to us when we find hidden treasure that’ll buy us a ticket out of here.”

Even his little brother looked like he had chills running through his spine as we both stared blankly at Keery. His narrowed eyes bore into me, which alone conveyed to me this wasn’t something he wasn’t taking lightly. It was as if his only sole purpose in perfecting the sword’s structure and quality was for this exact moment: to slay whatever beast is inside that forest. At least, that’s what it seemed like.

And yet, it also seemed he was far from satisfied until he made use of the effort spent. “...But if you change your mind, you know exactly where to find us tomorrow night. Let’s go Tobi.”

“Err… Right!”

With the disintegration of the translucent icy blade, they turned around and headed off without another word. The two faded into the distance, covered by the fog of the falling snow.

“It’s cold.” The wagon creaked behind me as the wind picked up. This abandoned wagon was the only safe haven away from the noise and now, even from here, the world still manages to reach me. Ah, well… There is no escaping life. Now that my little off-time is ruined, I might as well head back and face the life that I know all too well. A certain someone is unquestionably gonna be pissed...

・・・・・

Sappora. Population density of around 100 within the span of a few kilometers harbored within a mountain pass. A completely peaceful town that has no special features other than its own residents. Even during the night, people here, bundled up in thick clothing, trudged through the snowy paths without a care in the world. The sparse cabin buildings were layered in a blanket of white, alongside the paved dirt and brick roads both lit by the yellow lanterns scattered throughout the town. It’s honestly a beautiful sight to walk through every time at night such as now.

I pulled my own scarf up closer to my face after feeling my cheeks sting, though it wasn’t due to the cold air. I hate to admit it, but people give me a slight wave of anxiety I can’t control. Living life like this is such a burden but at least I’m not dead yet; who knows how long this can keep up… I breathed out a cloud of air and headed off. At least walks through snowy weather are the calmest parts of existence.

A faded brick cabin awaited me after the short trek through town. Every single time I step onto the worn mat, this cabin greets me with a sense of emptiness. Despite the fact that my parents told me that I was too young, that was one of the last things I remember from them. Now I’m an orphan with nowhere else to go but here: the only orphanage in Sappora. A warm breeze greeted me the moment I opened the door.

“Ah Nagi… your back.”

“...Mom!”

Luckily, it was the voice that I wanted to hear first thing coming back. Caretaker Rosalind greeted me with a smile on the other side of the door. She’s one of the nicest people I know: kind hearted, lovable, courteous — really, she’s basically a mother to all of the orphans here. And that means Rosalind would have an insane amount of work in her hands at any given time. In spite of that, she always makes sure to give as much attention as possible to every single one of us. If any person could multitask like a machine, it would be her.

“How were the stars tonight, my dear?”

“—Beautiful. It was like watching a sea of twinkling candle lights. Though, I really wish I could watch it every night like this… I still hate how the only time we get to see the stars is the day before the festival…” I said as I hung my parka on the coat rack.

“Yes, it’s indeed a shame. But that alone what makes every time they do appear that much more special.”

“Still…! A little more often would be nice, once every year just isn’t enough…”

My head drooped to the floor again. Seeing the gray skies of Sappora every single day wasn’t the same anymore after taking in my first view of the cosmos on that night years ago. It was a reality check of how limitless this world we live in could be, and how limiting our little world is. I guess… Keery and Tobias did have a point earlier.

“Nagi.” Rosalind knelt down and caressed my face. “As a 13 years old, you still have a whole lifetime of experiences ahead waiting. You mustn’t forget that.”

I know. I already know, and yet…

“But that’s one of the reasons I love you: you’re innate curiosity with the world we were placed in. And you definitely will fulfill that curiosity, no matter what happens. I bet my life savings on that.”

“...Promise?”

“Promise.” she affirmed with a nod, “Here, how about a pinkie promise to seal the deal?”

“Hehee, okay.”

She reached out her pinkie and I reached out mine. The slight warmth from her hand was enough to ease me back.

“Well then Nagi. I’m sure you’ll be able to easily handle yourself in tonight’s shift. I spoke with the others earlier, and it seems like they were fine with the extra load today. But I’m sure they wouldn’t have finished everything.”

Tonight’s shift? How about tomorrow’s shift? I’m kinda burned out today. Rosalind returned back to her duties, in this case, rekindling the ashy firebox boiler of the cabin to get the right temperature. That was my cue to maneuver through the maze of mangles and drum washers to sneak into bed.

As I walked past the machinery, much of the younger kids ran across the floors, wielding paper airplanes in their hands. Four in fact. And it seemed like they noticed me, because one kid threw their plane straight towards my direction. I catched the carefully engineered craftsmanship and sent it back. ...But that just ensued the other three to throw theirs to me and with no time to brace for impact, they ended up whizzing past me. The kids immediately bursted into laughter and went to retrieve the crashed aircrafts.

“Hi Nagi!” the four all greeted.

“Good day to you.” I returned with a smile… and immediately reverted back to a frown once they passed me. I just want to sleep already… If I could just collapse in my bed and take a nap before dinner, I would be the happiest person right now. That is… If I could just sneak by without notice… Slowly...

“Nagi!!”

Uh. Oh.

“Where the HECK were you?! You didn’t just ditch me and dump all of the handiwork in my hands the night before the festival did you?!”

Ah… Good ol’ Chloe being a workaholic. The last thing I wanted to happen tonight after being interrupted — is being interrupted again within the same hour. There was Chloe still dressed in her waistcoat and apron, pointing right in my face and making me feel ever so guilty. Knowing her, she most likely left a pile of clothes for me to handle all on my own. Rosalind is reluctant to force tasks on us, but Chloe? Whatever excuse I make up, nothing’s gonna stop her from shoving me into a station.

“Sorry Chloe. We hardly get the chance to see the stars, you kn—”

“Ergh, whatever…! I got my hands tied behind my back here, help me scrub the deck!”

Well, I did say I’m now part of an orphanage, but the orphanage itself also runs a laundry mill as a source of income. Naturally, every member of the household has to do their part in running the little business once they reach the age of 10. In front of me, were rows of tables and basins: stations for different parts of the clothes cleaning process. The rattly washing machines were lined up against the left wall and I’m glad I don’t operate there. I feel like they might explode at any second.

“Didn’t you do this last time as well? *Sigh* I really shoulda known… Here, your holystone. Catch.” She tossed me an iron that was turned on.

Of course, we weren’t actually on a ship attending to the nooks and crannies of the vessel. It still bothered me that Chloe uses sailor terminology to mean normal duties around the mill, trying to make it more dramatic than it seems. Basically the holystones are just the irons used to eliminate creases from the clothes. And not wanting to burn myself with the incoming seering block of steel, I shielded my palm with a layer of ice before catching it. Instantly, a puddle of water sizzles onto the floor as I grab onto the handle as fast as I can.

Sure, Rosalind would have killed us for pulling such a stunt. But since she’s always busy taking care of thousands of other stuff, she would have never expected us to do such things. Well, the chance of us getting caught by her is still there, but that’s what makes it exciting. —Eh. We’ve never gotten burned before throwing these things around and I don’t think we ever will.

However, the thing that made me break a sweat as Chloe and I walked to the drying tables was the mountain in front of me. For crying out loud… there was still a stack of clothing up to my head lined up on the table. Just where in the town do people wear this many clothes in a single week? It’s like they already held the dang festival and stripped off what they were wearing. Ok, that sent bad imagery.

And so the two of us immediately get to work to reduce that mountain. Even we get paid doing this, not by quantity or quality — but by the hour. So sadly, this won’t net me and Chloe any additional gains. Despite that, we continued to burn through the pile like clockwork.

“Bleh… finally. I thought we’d never see the light of day ever again. I’m just gonna take it easy for the whole day tomorrow.” Chloe said after folding up a buttoned shirt and grabbing another at the same time.

“Honestly, I’m feeling the same way. I thought I would be excited this year, but wow, I’m drained.”

“I think it’s just the monotony of the mill getting to us. And it’s only going to get worse here on out unless we go and find some other job…”

Another job, huh? There is no possible way I’d be able to sit through an interview and not be a nervous wreck. I was lucky my father had connections throughout the town. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known what to do after both of them passed. Feeling the warmth of the iron against my palm, I lowered my eyes. Is it really right of me to be keeping up this?

“Are you alright though?”

“...Huh?”

Chloe kept her pace without batting an eye. “When you came back, you seemed a little down in the dumps. Anything happened?”

“Umm…” Was it really showing? I was too focused on sneaking past her, but I didn’t realize I was much more in thought… than I thought.

“What’s this? You’d never care about anyone else like this before.”

“Oh shush. ‘Course I do. But I’d rather not poke my nose into other people’s problems.” She scoffs. “But ‘cause I’m with you most of the time, I know a little of how you generally act.”

“—That’s creepy.”

“Not as creepy as the boys here.”

We both chuckle. It’s true. Boys here can come up with the most creative dares for each other, many of them involving the girls.

She passed a glance towards me. “No, but seriously, so you’re really ok?”

“As a snow bunny in winter.”

“Hm. Hopefully there won’t be any speeding vehicles for you to encounter then.”

As soon as I opened my mouth to say that said automobile would be dead before it would even reach me, a bell chimed. It was the call for dinner — immediately, the sound of shuffling filled the room as everyone filed into the dining hall. Music to my ears.

“Pah…! It’s over!” Chloe said, stretching, “A foot of clothing left ain’t that bad, huh? We didn’t clear the deck, but we definitely edged forward.”

“Uwaaah…” I couldn’t exactly respond. There’s no way a person could feel this pooped before, but I also didn’t know my body could slump down this far into the floor.

“Nagi, please. Or else we’d have to wash your work clothes too.”

“Uweh…” Not a chance I could move now that I’m laying down face flat on the wooden boarding. Unfortunately, I can feel Chloe’s gaze on the back of my head which only added another factor onto my immobility.

“...If you insist. I’ll go ahead and get changed first.” she said. Fine with that. After that long session of maneuvering an iron across fabric, I needed at least a minute of recharge. The floor creaked as her footsteps grew softer and softer until they completely disappeared. —That was when I felt a light karate chop on my head.

“Oh, but seriously. Good work tonight. Let’s give it our best again the day after tomorrow.”

...In the end, floors are comfortable.

・・・・・

“Is everyone excited for the Snow Festival tomorrow? ♪ ”

The whole room erupted with a wave of cheers; the banging of metal utensils on plates caused some to plug their ears — including me. Everyone was gathered at the table ages ranging from 4 to the late teens. For the remainder of dinner I kept to myself and ate my porridge, though I couldn’t help but to pass a couple of glances to my left. Rosalind was peeling apples for a toddler all the way down the table.

Despite how much I love her, I hardly ever get to speak to Rosalind. In fact, just now was usually the most that I would usually get to speak to her. It’s a shame. I feel like we rarely ever get to connect with each other. Referring to her as “mom” was something we all do, but for me it doesn’t feel “earned” if that makes any sense. That much was true for Chloe as well, even though we’re together most of the time during long shifts. Guess small talk is not our strong suit...

Ultimately, dinner flew by without even me noticing and it was already time to turn in for the day. Everyone filed out as fast as they entered anti-climactic as it sounds.

・

The long awaited time has finally come. I crashed into my bed face first, leaving my body limp without a care of how I look from the others. As I laid there, I couldn’t help but to replay this night’s scene over and over again. Keery’s proposal… decline it? Or accept it?

You know, now that I think about it… it doesn’t make sense. Keery’s whole plan, that is. If he truly doesn’t believe in the legends, then why put in the time and effort to refine such a blade? Back then, it really looked like he was ready to slice my head in half. —Or maybe I’m just reading too much into things and it was just me assuming things in the heat of the moment. He did say if a beast existed, not I’ll take this sword and shove it up its rear. I guess he was just trying to prove a point, whatever that might be?

Oh well, there’s no point in dwelling on it. I wouldn’t know either way until the time finally comes. The only obstacle keeping me from falling asleep was my thoughts and the occasional sounds of creaking and snoring in the echoey dorm room. Pulling the sheets over my nose, I closed my eyes. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow but, of course, the Snow Festival can only last for so long.

...I’m glad it wasn’t hot. They say that heat makes it difficult to fall asleep and luckily, I’d never had to experience what that would feel like. I could vouch that all the way on the other end of the scale, the opposite effect applies. But sometimes… you just can’t help to be curious.

“It’s s-so cold…”