《The Big Yoink: A Smol Detective Story》Chapter Twenty

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Don't weep for the stupid, you'll be cryin' all day.

- Father Anderson, "Hellsing Abridged"

Rgrarshok swayed atop Sssnnathor's truck as it continued to rocket along. At the moment both the driver beneath her and Tk'rii'na continued to engage in a vehicular shoving match. She gripped at the hull with her foot-claws to steady herself as the semicircle of six armored guards closed in on her. There was a little shrieking voice in the back of her mind, screaming that Bgrarh was dead. She tamped that voice down. There would be time enough to grieve once they were all out of danger.

There was no way she could hit or slash hard enough to affect her opponents, not through their armor. Fortunately she had a couple of large weapons quite close by. One was the Claw's vehicle next to her. The other was the planet itself.

The first guard slashed at her, and she ducked as they'd expected. That dodge opened up her side to another, simultaneous attack already incoming from another guard.

What they didn't expect was for her dodge to also include falling sideways off of the roof. Both attacks hit nothing but air, and as Rgrarshok fell she grabbed the limb of her first attacker and heaved. He went flying over her head as she dug the claws of her free hand into the side of the vehicle. She swung herself in a long arc towards the rear, using her one-handed grip as a pivot to land back on the roof behind her attackers.

Her foot lashed out in three quick kicks, smacking into the backs of three of them like a trip-hammer and sending them out into space to join their comrade. The latter was already bouncing along bonelessly far behind the car, out cold from the impact. Two of them also flew into empty space, while the third kickee went tumbling over the top of Tk'rii'na's vehicle before vanishing from sight.

The two remaining Dorarizin paused; they'd just lost four of their number in less than a second. She didn't give them a chance to recover, and dropped to her side as she gripped the roof with the claws of one paw. She swept both her legs around like a scythe, smacking the two guards in the legs and knocking them both flat. She kicked at one of them and connected solidly with his helmet, sending him flying off and out of the battle.

But her next kick was too slow, and the remaining guard caught it. She roared as his gauntleted fist squeezed, and felt a bright pain and crunch as he broke her foot.

Rgrarshok threw herself off towards the empty side of vehicle, the guard trailing behind her as he still clung tenaciously to her foot. He didn't realize her intent until she once more fell off the side of the vehicle, dragging him off with her. She dug in both sets of paw-claws as the guard fell past her with a yelp. There was another, bigger flare of pain from her ruined foot...and then the guard was gone.

The Captain drove her claws in like pitons as she clambered her way back up to the roof. She managed to get one arm over onto the roof right as the world filled with a screech of brakes. A gigantic crash from somewhere behind her made the whole vehicle spin like a tumble-dryer. She gripped at the hull in sudden panic as her body streamed straight out like a flag in the wind.

""

Resh'skk ignored the taunt from Sssnnathor, barely audible over the sound of the Captain battling as well as the smashing from Tk'rii'na's attempts to stop the truck. He could barely hear the faint whine of overloaded servos from his arms as he grappled with the tyrant. In spite of Resh'skk's amplified strength, Sssnnathor looked quite smug as the two big Jornissians coiled around each other in a seemingly infinite knot. The bastard causally held Resh'skk's gauntlet away from his side, preventing the soldier from completing a hold on his neck.

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Sssnnthor grinned wider. ""

Resh'skk still didn't reply. He didn't know what sort of unholy cybernetic crap Sssnnathor possessed, but even if the tyrant was stronger he was still an amateur.

And amateurs did stupid things like taunting when they should be killing. He had to wait for the right moment...

The moment came in a flash of familiar red fur behind Sssnnathor. Resh'skk stopped his gauntlet's futile pushing and instead pulled. Sssnnthor lurched to the side as his hood twitched in surprise...

Bgrarh-of-Arhraz clamped his big arms around Sssnnathor's neck, clasping his paws together and squeezing in desperation. The tyrant croaked and reached up one hand, and with that same casual strength peeled back one of Bgrarh's paws. A crunch and a howl told Resh'skk that the tyrant had crushed Bgrarh's paw.

But Sssnnathor's movement also exposed his side. Resh'skk now had his opening. He slammed his gauntlet back forward, smashing into Sssnnathor's ribs with a blow which could turn concrete to powder. Any normal Jornissian would now be sporting a giant hole in their torso.

Sssnnathor didn't have a hole thanks to his augmented flesh and bones...but the force of that punch still had to go somewhere. The shockwave flowed into the tyrant's chest, rupturing a few important blood vessels and damaging his lungs. Sssnnathor wheezed and recoiled, his eyes suddenly going cloudy.

Bgrarh was in the middle of trying to bite out the tyrant's throat when Sssnnathor slid off the roof.

Unfortunately, Resh'skk was still tangled up in Sssnnathor's body, which meant he was sliding as well. He clamped both gauntlets into the roof, but thanks to the weight of the tyrant all that did was leave torn gouges in metal as he continued to slide. He lashed his tail and got mostly free of Sssnnathor's hold, but he could feel the other's hands clinging to his armor with still-formidable strength. His hands were almost at the edge of the roof...

Bgrarh was a blur as he stuck the claws of his good paw into the roof near the edge, then he leapt out to hang off of that piton-like hold as he kicked down into Sssnnathor's face. The blow made the reeling tyrant release his grasp, and Resh'skk caught a glimpse of his long blue-and-black body tumbling along the soil.

Across the roof, Resh'skk also saw the Captain pulling herself up with a pained grimace. Then the world spun with a resounding crash as Resh'skk's hold slipped.

"" he roared in mid-air, then continued with a string of Jornissian cursing that would have made a US Marine go pale as he bounced and rolled to a stop.

Resh'skk pushed his torso up with a groan and coiled his tail under himself. The armor had taken most of the damage from his fall, but he still felt like he'd been beaten with a dreadnought. His mood did not improve as he picked up his hood and saw the tires of Sssnnathor's truck throw up a huge spray of dust. The vehicle roared off with impressive speed, leaving Resh'skk standing in mute fury.

The Claw's own vehicle let out a grinding noise, then a roar as Tk'rii'na restarted the engine. One of its sides now sported a torn-open hole, probably from Myyreh's dynamic exit. Resh'skk flowed like lightning towards that hole, coiling his tail at the last moment to spring himself in as the vehicle started moving.

"" Resh'skk roared, and Tk'rii'na only bobbed his crest in assent. The Karnakian's eyes were laser-focused on the dust plume ahead of them.

On the non-torn-open side of the vehicle was a rack of spare weaponry. He snatched a fresh maser off of the rack and checked it. The automatic movement helped calm his inner turmoil. Yes, Myyreh had managed to get into that bastard's truck. But there was still one Sssnnathor remaining, and [Maria] was still in danger.

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Oscar reached down out of the window-slit and shoved against a nearby pipe with his free hand. With more pained grunting he managed to birth himself into the access corridor. Once most of his body was out, he swung a leg down and thumped onto the floor...which was also lined with tubing. The uneven footing made him stumble and fall to one knee. His armor took most of the blow, but one of his raw knees still rubbed painfully against the suddenly-rigid armor material.

"Fuck FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!"

Egwreh's voice floated through the smashed-open window. "[You okay?]"

"Eh, I'll live." He hobbled over to the junction box, which was held closed with a very ordinary-looking mechanical latch.

"Easy peasy," he said as he swung the lid open and to the side. "Okay, I see the switch." The thing looked a little like a standard circuit-breaker, but sized for giant alien hands. Its handle now stuck up towards the ceiling. "I just flip this down, right?"

"[Exactly!]" called out The Silken Feather. "[We have about six minutes left.]"

Oscar wrapped both hands around the switch handle and tugged downward.

The handle didn't move.

"Dammit," he muttered, as he re-set his hold on the switch and pulled harder.

There still wasn't so much as a budge.

"Uh, guys? This thing feels stuck, is there some sort of latch or something I'm missing?"

Kgrashak's snout poked through into the corridor. "[No, you just pull it down! Maybe it's just stuck.]"

"Crap on a crutch."

"[Put your back into it!]" yelled Egwreh. "[We've got four minutes!]"

"Put your back into it," Oscar muttered in a sarcastic, nasal tone. "Fine." He kept his hold on the switch handle as he brought up one foot and then the other, bracing them on either side of the junction box. He crouched sideways in the corridor and heaved, now using his legs as well as his arms.

"Cooome....onnn..." he grunted, as the switch refused to move. He paused and panted. "Is there anything out there I can use as a lever!"

"[No, nothing!]" cried Egwreh."[Three minutes!]"

Oscar heaved again. Nothing. He pulled until he felt the tendons on the ends of his biceps twang painfully. A pang of despair stabbed into his gut as Oscar Williams realized he wasn't strong enough. Thousands, maybe millions would die by fire because he was weak, he was just a puny human with no business ever setting foot off of his planet, nothing but a useless little creature...

Unbidden, the memory rose up in his head of Myyreh lying in a hospital bed, swaddled in bandages from the attack that had nearly killed them both.

He remembered her words to him, her blue eyes blazing with fervor.

Not useless. Never useless.

Oscar bared his teeth and pulled anew with fresh energy. He was not weak, he was the strongest sonofabitch he knew. Another memory floated up, the nickname bestowed on him by the Hispanic members of his Ranger platoon.

El Oso.

He was Oscar the Bear, and he was going to move this fucking switch or die trying.

A pained screaming filled the corridor, and he dimly realized that it was him making that horrible noise...

Oscar only felt the slightest warning movement from the switch before it snapped down. His gloved hands slipped off of it, and the sudden lack of resistance meant he damn near somersaulted off of the wall and landed on his front with resounding thump. He lay there in stunned silence for a moment.

Kgrashak's yell pulled him out of his momentary stupor. "[[Oscar!] Are you all right? Say something!]"

"...something. I turned the switch off."

"[We know, The Silken Feather is already in the control room. We've got to get you out of there. Can you reach my hand?]"

Oscar looked up and saw her gray-furred paw waving overhead. "Yeah. Gimme a minute..."

He rolled over onto his knees, letting forth another pained grunt. He tried to push himself up, but his right arm just wouldn't cooperate. All it gave him was another fresh burst of pain as he staggered to his feet. He looked down at his traitorous appendage with bemusement.

"Huh. I think...I think I did something really bad to my arm."

Maria thanked whatever deities existed that she was currently encased in Karnakian chest-floof. Sssnnathor's truck felt more like the inside of a tumble-dryer while Nerlharg and whatever maniac was driving the other truck played bumper-cars. Nk'''traa'il embraced Maria in her wing-arms and did what she could to protect the human from the worst of the impacts, and thus far was succeeding. The human could hear smashing and screaming from above, plus the anguished scronk of torn metal...

In the middle of it all, the entire truck lurched from an impact near Maria's head. The vehicle spun to a stop, and before Maria's head could stop spinning she felt a scaly hand reach through the fluff to grab her shoulder. That hand yanked her out, none too gently.

Maria shouted at the sudden flare of pain in her shoulder, just as she found herself dangling in the air. That shout died to a gurgle as Sssnnathor wrapped his arm around her middle and grasped her throat with his other hand. He squeezed almost hard enough to stop her breathing. She blinked her eyes in a panic, trying to clear them of tears and get her bearings.

The two slaves still huddled in the back of the vehicle, but there was no sign of any remaining guards. The roof sported quite a few new holes as well.

Another new item was the large, jet-black armored figure of Myyreh. The alien crouched in between Sssnnathor and the slaves, the large smoking hole next to her showing her method of entry.

They all stood or crouched or cowered in a little tableau for a moment, before the whole truck lurched and began moving again.

"[Surrender,]" said Myyreh in an amplified whisper.

Sssnnathor's voice sounded next to Maria's ear. The tyrant sounded quite amused. "[Or what? Yes, yes, I'm sure you'll threaten me with all sorts of horrible pain and death if I hurt this little one.]" His tongue flicked out, leaving a trail of saliva on Maria's cheek. "[They are so precious, aren't they? I can't blame you for becoming attached. That is why you are going to throw yourself back out the way you came. Your people will allow me to leave. Or I will visit such pain on this one.]"

His hand squeezed tighter, and Maria thrashed in a panic with her air cut off. Her vision started to form a black tunnel...

Maria wheezed as Sssnnathor relaxed his grip. "[You see? I can snuff her out before you could possibly reach me.]"

Myyreh stood from her crouch. She reached up and casually rested her gauntlet on one of the myriad of pipes running along the hull. Her other gauntlet sat on her hip, like she had all the time in the world. "[You're a tenacious bastard, I'll give you that. Reminds me of Sutra Forty-Two.]"

Maria blinked. What the stink was Myyreh saying? The Dorarizin was no scholar of Karnakian religion. Hell, neither was Maria for that matter. She'd only studied a bit of it, starting from when Hrathra'sstah began her quest to view the Claw. Even then, Maria had only picked up some of the more famous ones. Sutra Forty-Two was something about being a pipeline to the Great Spirit.

Sssnnathor's voice hardened. "[Leave now. I won't ask again.]"

A pipeline...

Maria swiveled her eyes to where Myyreh's gauntlet lay on the pipe. It was not as casual a grip as it looked; the Dorarizin had her digits clamped around the pipe, denting it slightly.

She kicked, pushing her dangling lower body up and off of Sssnnathor, trying to curl herself into a ball around the arm still tight around her chest, her movement now exposing the tyrant's belly...

Another scronk, followed hard on by a loud wet thunk that sounded like someone shoving a knitting needle through cooked turkey.

Sssnnathor's grip on Maria released, and she fell with a yelp. She let out a "FUCK!" as one leg banged against something hard and metallic, then a "DAMMIT!" as she fell into Myyreh's waiting gauntlets. It was better than hitting the deck, but Myyreh's armor wasn't exactly yielding.

Maria rolled out of Myyreh's hands and backpedaled, her eyes wide as she stared at Sssnnathor.

The tyrant, in turn, was staring down at the jagged end of pipe that now sprouted out of his lower abdomen. He thrashed about as he realized that the pipe went all the way through him, pinning him to the spot.

Maria peeked to the side and saw that the same pipe also ran clear through Nerlharg. A stream of blue gore ran down from the twitching Dorarizin and onto the driver's station beneath. The latter let out some desultory sparks to show it was also speared.

"Helluva throw," she said in a shaky voice.

"[Thanks]", replied Myyreh. She reached up and tore off another length of piping from the wall while Sssnnathor began to pull himself up along the pipe towards the free end. Green ichor oozed from around the hideous wound and from Sssnnathor's mouth, but otherwise the tyrant didn't look so much as fazed.

Sssnnathor stopped his pulling as Myyreh's gauntlet closed around the end of the first thrown pipe and bent it up. He snarled and whipped his tail around at her head, a blur of motion that Maria could barely follow.

Myyreh caught his tail-end in one paw, but she still staggered under the augmented force of that blow. With her free, pipe-wielding arm Myyreh wound up and did a one-handed baseball-bat smash across Sssnnathor's snout, dazing the tyrant.

"[You wanna live forever, you sadistic prick?]" Myyreh roared. "[Then LIVE. WITH. THIS!]" She punctuated her screaming with further smashing.

As the tyrant reeled there was another blur, and now Sssnnathor had a pipe sprouting from his throat that pinned him to the deck from another angle. He let out a gurgle, his silver eyes clouding over as more green blood ran out of his mouth. Myyreh bent the end of the new pipe as well.

"Fuck yeah," Maria muttered. Her satisfaction was short-lived, as the whole vehicle suddenly rocked as it ran over a rock. Oh yeah, they were still speeding along way too fast for comfort. "Can we stop this thing?"

Myyreh was already stepping past the twitching tyrant. She leaned over the driver's console, ignoring the by-now-quite-dead Nerlharg. "[Oh. Oops.]"

"Oops? What oops? Whaddya mean OOPS?"

"[I was a little too successful. The console's ruined, so the automated systems have taken over. We're locked into this heading at maximum speed. At least the desert is flat for now...]" But then Myyreh looked up at the mountains, which now loomed so large in the windshield that Maria couldn't see the tops of them. At the base of those mountains lay a large box canyon with a very unyielding-looking cliff at the end of it.

A cliff which was now perfectly centered in their windshield.

Myyreh's voice started to betray some panic. "[People? We need an evac, [stat].]"

Sssnnathor gurgled as his face twisted into a triumphant leer.

"[May the Great Spirit preserve us,]" said Tk'rii'na as he crouched over his console as if trying to increase their speed through sheer willpower.

"" said Resh'skk. ""

Resh'skk poked his head out of the torn side to take stock. The dust plume from Sssnnathor's vehicle billowed high into the blue sky on his left. Rgrarshok and Bgrarh clung to the top of the runaway machine, leaning against each other in mutual support.

""

Rgrarshok shook her head. "[I'm not jumping anywhere anytime soon.]"

"[I'll help her across,]" said Bgrarh. The big male cradled one of his arms with the other.

A jet-black arm waved out of the similar hole in the other vehicle.

Resh'skk's hearts skipped a beat as he saw a smaller figure in a white robe peer around the armored Dorarizin. Maria yelled something that was lost over the roar of the engine noise. Myyreh looked down at Maria, then shook her head in bemusement

"[There's two slaves on board as well,]" said Myyreh. "[[Maria] refuses to leave unless we also take them off.]"

"

"[Agreed. When you're close enough, I'll pass [Maria] to you.]"

Resh'skk looked around at the jagged edges of his hole. ""

Just before Myyreh broke the connection he could hear a distant, indignant yell over the comm. A yell from a blessedly familiar voice.

"[I am not a [Harsak-Crushed] bag of groceries, you overgrown furball!]"

Resh'skk grinned and slung his maser onto his back as he clambered out of the hole.

Oscar glared at Kgrashak after she'd finished fiddling with his injury. "Kate, don't you think this is a little overkill?" He waved his right arm, which now wore a thick cocoon of silvery bandages. There was a lot of semi-audible concerned peeping from the Karnakians seated around him.

The doctor stood up and folded her arms with a satisfied air. "[You tore your [bicep] tendon. Almost completely through, I might add.]"

Oscar crossed his arms too, or rather tried to. His right arm stayed straight. "Not my fault you make switches so damn hard to throw."

The shuttle lurched hard to the right, causing Kgrashak to sway. The Dorarizin clutched at an overhead handle to steady herself while Oscar slid sideways into The Silken Feather.

"[My brave little one!]" she chirped, and threw a wing-arm around his shoulders. "[Care to try nesting in me again?]" Her snout drew close to his ear. "[I won't tell [Myyreh] if you won't.]"

He swatted her nose away with his good hand. "Back off, turkey."

Kgrashak ignored them both as she called up to Grawreh. "[What's going on?]"

"[Emergency. Team [Maria] needs an evac. [Maria] and two of Sssnnathor's slaves are in trouble. Everybody hang on, I'm gonna step on it.]"

The resulting acceleration threw Oscar further into The Silken Feather's chest fluff. Her crest rose in amusement. "[Oooh, so adventurous! I have to confess, I'm getting a little excited by all this attention...]"

Oscar reached over and grasped the closest green feather, then yanked it out with a sharp tug. The Silken Feather squawked and flinched away.

He held up the feather. "Every time you sass me, I'll pull out another one."

Around them the various Karnakians snickered.

"They go too, or I'm not going."

"[I said I'd take care of them. But you go first.]"

"Ooof...PUT ME DOWN!"

Myyreh ignored Maria's indignant shout as the Dorarizin tucked the human under an armpit and headed for a ladder at the vehicle's rear. Maria's head was pointing towards the front as Myyreh did so, and she was scared to look in that direction. She was sure that somehow Sssnnathor had freed himself and was getting ready to strike.

But the tyrant hadn't moved, he was still pinned to the deck by two lengths of pipe. His eyes were still glaring, however, as his hood tracked Myyreh and her bundle.

Maria glared back and flipped Sssnnathor the bird as Myyreh clambered up the ladder.

Sssnnathor watched them go, then shifted his glare to his two consorts. With one hand he reached up and grasped at the pipe protruding from his throat. He ignored the quite amazing amount of pain as he tore the pipe loose from the deck and then hand-over-hand pulled its length back out through his larynx.

The two consorts shrieked and huddled against each other, a sight that filled Sssnnathor with fresh strength. He was indeed the strongest, the one to be feared, the one who would survive. Already he could feel the cybernetics and nanomachines in his body toiling away to repair the horrible damage he'd suffered. But he would survive, he would live and burn that entire Senate team to ash.

With a gurgling groan he tugged at the pipe through his center. But that one wouldn't budge, it must be embedded in the vehicle's chassis. So instead he bent the pipe's end back straight again and started to push himself up off of it. His straightening wasn't perfect; it resulted in a wavy portion that gave him a new higher level of agony as he worked it back out through his intestines.

Maria heard the whine of the shuttle's engines as Myyreh pulled them onto the roof. The wind battered at her head, making her hair fly in her eyes. But in spite of that she could see the oncoming dark wall of the cliff, now way too close for her peace of mind.

She twisted her head to the side and saw the team's vehicle now paced alongside them. Through the transparent armor of the front she could also see Tk'rii'na driving with a determined set to his crest. He tilted his head to look up at her and nodded, then resumed his laser focus.

The two Dorarizin crewmembers hobbled up next to them, and with a hearty shove Bgrarh sent the Captain across the gap. He crouched and followed her with an easy-looking leap. They pulled themselves down the roof hatch and into the vehicle as an armored-up Jornissian clambered up the other side.

Maria looked down at the gap again and tried to gauge the distance. Yeah, that didn't look too bad. Maria tried to turn her head to speak to Myyreh. "Okay, put me down now so I can jump across tooaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

The human shrieked and her robe flapped around her as Myyreh chucked her across the few meters separating the vehicles. Maria stared into the blue sky above, and had time for one thought-

Adventures suck.

-before two arms caught her with a casual yet fearsome strength. Her view was now filled with the metal-plated hood of an armored Jornissian. Its visor hinged up to reveal Resh'skk.

"[Are you hurt?]"

Maria almost said no, but then realized her back ached something awful from banging into Resh'skk's armored forearms. "Ow."

Resh'skk grinned and looked up. "[She's fine, Myyreh, I've got her...BEHIND YOU!]"

Myyreh's vision spun as something wrapped around her leg and yanked her back down into the dark interior of the vehicle. She grunted in pain as Sssnnathor whipped his tail and slung her against the wall, denting it deeply. The armor kept her from getting killed, but didn't entirely take away the resulting blunt force trauma. Myyreh tumbled to the deck, trying to reorient herself and kill that bastard...

The slaves screamed with fresh fear as Sssnnathor landed on top of the armored Dorarizin. "[I'm going to eat your heart, you BITCH!]" His voice was gurgling and raspy, but improving all the time.

Myyreh didn't reply, she just fought back, punching at his face and throat with blows that did nothing. He went for the grapple, of course, and she managed to keep one arm free from his coils. She pushed off of the deck, and the embracing pair tumbled as she threw them both in front of the hole she'd torn in the side of the vehicle. She took advantage of his momentary distraction to punch again, right at one silver eye. At least she could blind the bastard.

To her disbelief Sssnnathor caught her punch, squeezing her fist with a strength he shouldn't have been capable of. He gave a hissing scream into her face, unhinging his jaw as spittle flecked against her visor. She glanced down and saw the hole in his stomach starting to close over.

Then she glanced towards the front and saw the cliff approaching like the fist of a malevolent god.

Resh'skk tore the roof hatch open and dumped Maria into it. ""

He ignored her yell of indignation and promised himself to spoil his warmcuddle friend rotten once this whole mess was over. He reached for his back and pulled loose the maser, sighting at the struggling figures now visible in the opposing vehicle's torn-open side.

"" There wasn't a clear shot, not yet. ""

Myyreh groaned as her captured gauntlet sparked. Sssnnathor crushed it inward, screaming all the while. She ignored the scream and tried desperately to work her other arm loose...

A square metal box flew into her line of sight, smacking the tyrant right across the nose and leaving an ugly green gash. The gash closed over as he screamed again, this time towards the Karnakian slave who now stood and stared back at him with a defiant sneer on her lips.

"[YOU DARE? I'LL CRUSH YOUR SKULL, YOU ARROGANT-]"

Myyreh used the distraction to throw herself to the side, rolling Sssnnathor and bringing up the arm that held her fist. Bringing it clear of her body, and into the line of fire from Resh'skk.

A sizzle sounded out as a line of bright orange glowed along Sssnnathor's elbow joint, and he hiss-howled in pain as his arm parted in two.

Myyreh-of-Relgreh shook the severed arm loose from her damaged fist and punched at the still-closing wound on Sssnnathor's belly.

It was a punch fueled by her rage and every bit of energy she could muster from her armor. Her fist sank deep into him, and she bared her fangs as she forced the fist upward into him, seeking his heart.

Sssnnathor's coils loosened as he gagged and Myyreh stood, lifting the huge tyrant clear of the deck with no effort. She roared and punched downward, using the Jornissian like a very meaty and un-aerodynamic boxing glove. He left a substantial dent in the deck, and his hood flopped dazedly as she punched again, driving her entire arm farther up into him.

She punched him into the deck a third time, feeling her fist grate against the cage of reinforced bone around his heart.

In the middle of her enraged fugue state, Myyreh looked up and saw nothing an oncoming flat wall of ochre sandstone.

She punched at the air towards the front, causing Sssnnathor to fly off of her impaling arm with a squelch. The tyrant slammed into the windshield and shattered the transparent armor.

Myyreh spun, grabbed the two slaves, and jumped for it. She spun as she activated her jump jets, using her own armored back as a battering ram to make a hole through the rear of the vehicle.

Oscar peered out the winshield in a panic. The cigar-shape of Sssnnathor's runaway truck bounced along next to the more angular vehicle from the Claw. All he could see of people was Resh'skk on the roof of the latter, aiming his maser at the former. "Where's Myra? Is she still on board?"

Grawfren pushed him out of the way. "[Trying to fly here. Go strap in.]"

He touched his ear. "Anybody have eyes on Myra?"

Before anyone could reply the rear of Sssnnathor's truck evaporated in a spray of metal. A black-tinted missile soared up from that explosion, clutching two figures under each arm.

Myyreh's yell echoed over the general channel. "[We're all clear! Break off the pursuit!]"

The Claw's transport spun away from Sssnnathor's vehicle in a graceful arc. Oscar sagged in relief, then let out a yelp as the shuttle slowed to a sudden stop and made him bang his forehead against the windscreen. He rubbed his head and gave the pilot a hurt look.

"[ I toldja to strap in,]" Grawfren replied to his silent accusation.

Oscar looked out again, just in time to see the explosion as Sssnnathor and his vehicle met the cliff wall. There was a huge puff of rock dust followed by a sharp crack and a rumble as the impact shook loose rocks from the cliff above. The rain of rocks fell on Sssnnathor's truck, and within moments the vehicle was lost to sight under a pile of rubble.

The Captain's voice sounded over the comm, more tired that Oscar could ever remember. "[Grawfren, bring the shuttle down. We need to regroup and figure out what the [hell] to do next.]"

The two Senate vehicles sat parked midway up the box canyon while Kgrashak kept busy tending to everybody's injuries. To Maria's surprise, the worst of them all was the two slaves. She stood nearby and held Nk'''traa'il's hand as the doctor worked on her.

"[They weren't in healthy shape to begin with,]" explained Kgrashak to Myyreh. The latter stood nearby, her visor hinged open and with a guilty set to her ears as the doctor finished applying a field dressing to Nk'''traa'il's side. "[That sudden acceleration broke a few bones.]"

"[I didn't have time to be gentle,]" said Myyreh. She looked down at the ground. "[Sorry.]"

"[Please, don't feel bad!]" said Nk'''traa'il with a pained chirp. "[We are in your debt.]"

Next to her, Glgrarh nodded. He sat on his haunches with a fresh look of hope in his eyes. "[Yes, we owe you our lives. If you wish we can be of service to you instead-]"

"[Stop that!]" snapped Myyreh. Then, more mildly, "[You're no longer slaves. Or servants. Don't worry, we'll make sure you get to a safe place.]"

"[You should take off that armor and let me look at that hand,]" said Kgrashak.

"[I'm keeping this on until I've made sure that bastard snake is dead,]" replied Myyreh.

A familiar voice sounded from behind Maria. "That's my sweetie, always the tough one."

Myyreh's downcast face broke into a fanged grin. "[You cheeky monkey. What did you do to your arm?]"

Oscar strode into Maria's line of sight, his right arm hanging straight down by his side and swaddled with silver bandages. "Hey, you should see the other guy. You okay?"

Myyreh gave a shrug of her ears. "[Couple of broken bones in my hand. Nothing major.]" She motioned at her arm, its armor now bearing a thick coating of green blood.

Oscar stared at the gore-covered arm in shock. "Holy shit. Did you eviscerate him?"

"[Sort of. We do need to check that he's dead, though.]"

Maria laughed. "I think we can be sure of that."

Before them all, at the foot of the cliff, squatted the pile of boulders which marked the last resting place of Sssnnathor. Multiple cracks streaked away from the impact point along the cliff face high above. Maria looked up and saw that some of those cracks reached clear up to the edge of the cliff.

"Huh, glad I wasn't in that thing when it hit," she muttered.

Maria gave Nk'''traa'il a final comforting pat of her hand, then strode forward and away from the group. She was thankful beyond words that they'd brought along a spare set of her low-profile armor 'just in case'. It was hard to stride with purpose when wearing nothing but a robe.

"[Where are you going?]" said a voice from behind her. "[Don't you even think about going anywhere near that [fucker].]"

Maria turned and grinned at Resh'skk. "Oh, come on. He got gutted by Myra and took a bunch of boulders to the noggin. The dude's dead."

Before the soldier could grump at her some more he was all but bowled over by a couple of Karnakians. "[Hey! Watch your speed near...]"

The two Matriarchs all but prostrated themselves before Maria. The coppery figure of Ck'Trrk'Ka spoke first. "[We hear you saw Ta'irrl'qc's Claw! [Sssnnathor] had it on board his vehicle!]"

Ma'elge'yk nodded her yellow crest in excitement. "[Yes! The slave told us! She said you actually touched it!]"

Maria edged away from them and pressed her back against the comforting bulk of Resh'skk. His glower made the two religious leaders tone down their hyper behavior. "She's not a slave! Not any more."

"[Of course, poor choice of words, very sorry, but never mind that! Did you touch the Claw?]"

"I did," Maria replied. "I'm sorry if that was a heresy or something on my part, but I just had to look at it."

Ck'Trrk'Ka waved an arm. "[In ordinary times, we would not welcome such handling. But this situation is anything but ordinary.]"

The two Matriarchs turned as one to stare at the distant rubble-pile.

"[Could it still be intact?]" asked Ma'elge'yk.

"Oh, I'm sure it is!" said Maria. "Snape had it in this really strong armored box, and there was lots of padding around it." She waved at the crash site. "Sure, you'll have to dig through a ton of rock or so, but it'll be fiiiine!"

Right as she finished speaking that last word, the earth rumbled beneath them.

Sssnnathor's eyes focused as he came to. He hurt everywhere, his chest especially. A constant stream of data from his implant kept him informed of various horrible injuries.

But injured was not the same as dead. Fresh determination filled him as he picked up his head and stared around. The vehicle's interior was crumpled like a wadded-up metal can, with a flickering emergency light as the only source of illumination.

Outside the crunched-in nose of the vehicle sat a mass of jumbled rocks. One of the rocks protruded halfway through the shattered windscreen and onto a blue smear of guts which was all that remained of Nerlharg.

"[So sorry, old friend,]" he croaked. "[I'll miss you. But I will rebuild, I swear it. I still have the data.]"

Sssnnathor patted his jacket pocket to comfort himself. But no comfort came; he didn't feel the expected shape of a memory chip. It couldn't be possible! He shoved his hand into the pocket, hoping it was just stuck at the bottom.

It wasn't there. He frantically searched the other pockets of his now-ruined jacket, only to find them empty as well.

Sssnnathor screamed for about a minute straight, right up until a mountain fell on his head.

The teakettle-like scream from the distant wreck cut off as the entire fractured cliff face slid off and downward, throwing up a huge cloud of dust as it avalanched down onto Sssnnathor. Maria only caught a glimpse of the destruction before Resh'skk grabbed her up and wrapped his armored body around her.

"[Close your eyes and cover your ears!]" he yelled, in a tone that Maria automatically obeyed.

Maria's world shook and heaved, and she gagged as alkaline dust filled her nostrils. After an endless few moments, everything went very quiet and still. With great caution, she cracked an eye open. Her protector now wore a thick coat of tan dust, and as he stirred it started to stream off of him. Maria spat the bitter, chalky dust out of her mouth. Her hair was coated with the stuff as well, and she tried to brush herself off...only to get it all over her hands.

"Damn it."

Resh'skk chuckled. "[Don't worry, the showers aboard the [Claw] will get that off.]"

Maria's brain kicked back into gear as she realized she wasn't dead. "Shit! The Matriarchs!]"

The Jornissian uncoiled from around her, and beyond Maria saw two dust-covered bumps. The bumps roused and shook themselves, flaring their feathers out to throw off the rock-dust. The Matriarchs stared at each other in a mute, horrified realization...then craned their necks to stare off at the boiling mound of dust where the cliff had been.

Maria's heart beat faster as the dust settled to reveal that...

Well, that there really wasn't a cliff anymore. A mountain of boulders, some as big as the shuttle, now rose in a sloping pile from the base of the canyon up towards the lip. There was still a flat vertical section along one edge. But the rest of the cliff, consisting of megatons of rock, now covered Sssnnathor's grave. And also covered the Claw, or at least where the Claw used to be.

"Ah, shit," said Maria. "It...it's not fine any more. It's gotta be crushed to bits by now."

"[The Claw,]" whispered Ck'Trrk'Ka.

Ma'elge'yk clutched at her head with both hands and let loose a wordless shriek.

Resh'skk nudged Maria back with one gauntlet. "[We, ah, may want to leave them alone for a bit.]"

"Eh? Oh, yeah." Maria turned and walked away as quietly as possible, with Resh'skk keeping himself between her and the two Karnakians.

"[THE CLAW!]" screamed Ck'Trrk'Ka at the giant mound of rock. "[IT CAN'T BE!]" She whirled and pointed at Ma'egle'yk. "[This is YOUR FAULT!]"

The 34th-Path Matriarch bared her fangs. "[What? How can this be my responsibility?]"

"[It's the fault of ALL of you [34th] path HERETICS! If you didn't exist, Tk'rii'na and Ter'yeik would have NEVER conspired to steal the Claw!]"

"[That's ridiculous! We had nothing to do with your internal strife!]"

Ck'Trrk'Ka showed her teeth as well. "[I'm going to make it my life's goal to remove your cancer from this galaxy!]"

Ma'elge'yk crouched lower, tapping her foot-claws as if limbering up for some disemboweling. "[I'd like to see you try, [bitch]!]"

Maria stopped, and turned back. The two Karnakians both now crouched in preparation for a fight. She ground her teeth. It was ridiculous, so ridiculous. That crazy old monk had the right of it, she knew that now, but somehow they'd missed the message.

"Hey! Stop it!"

Her yell went unheeded. By now the screeching from the two raptors was nothing but noise in her translator bead. "Fucking bullshit stupid crazy space-dinos..." She looked up and saw the maser fastened to Resh'skk's back. She clambered up onto his back and tugged at the weapon.

The handle jerked out of her hands as Resh'skk twisted his body clear around to give her an accusing stare. Shit, she kept forgetting how damn limber Jornissians were. "[What the [hell] are you doing?]"

"I need your fancy laser gun."

"[I'm not supposed to even have this thing on the same planet as you! Besides, you couldn't even lift it!]"

"Fine, then you hold it and aim it where I show you."

Resh'skk looked over at the Matriarchs now circling each other. "[I'm not gonna shoot 'em. Even if I kinda want to.]"

"I don't want you to shoot them, I want you to shoot up there. Follow my arm..."

    people are reading<The Big Yoink: A Smol Detective Story>
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