《The Big Yoink: A Smol Detective Story》Chapter Ten

Advertisement

Oscar leaned back in his chair as he looked at an image of Sssnnathor on the bridge display. The picture had been taken as the Jornissian was doing his species' version of 'storming out in rage'. Behind him was a large building that looked vaguely Roman in architecture. There were a lot of fluted columns along the front of building, but of course ramps in the place of any sweeping marble staircase. Sssnnathor held a hand up towards the picture-taker, but still hadn't managed to block his face.

"[That was taken right after his political career ended,]" said Rgrarshok. "[He resigned rather than face investigation into some serious accusations against him.]"

"Bribery and such?"

"[Nothing so simple. There were rumors he was funding illegal longevity research.]"

Oscar rubbed the side of his head. "What was so illegal about it? You guys have lots of different anti-aging treatments, not to mention you've helped us develop our own."

"[He wasn't interested in living a very long time,]" replied Rgrarshok. "[[Sssnnathor] was looking into methods that would allow him to live forever.]"

"Good luck with that," snorted Oscar.

"[It's nothing to laugh at. After someone lives a few thousand years or so, they start to go wrong. Perhaps not right away, but it's inevitable.]"

Oscar gave a non-committal grunt as he looked at the frozen image of the angry Jornissian. "So do really old people go batshit, or something?"

"[If the galaxy is lucky they merely go insane. If we're unlucky...]" The Captain trailed off. "[Let's just say things can get very eventful, very quickly.]"

The human gestured at the screen. "Was his resignation when you met ol' Snape here?"

"[I've never met him face to face. I investigated certain sales of stolen goods which seemed to be connected to him. We never got any hard evidence, just rumors. The Senate has spies all through his staff, of course. At present he appears to have given up searching for true immortality and instead focuses on his own pleasure.]"

"And, as long as Snape is just a decadent asshole confined to one planet, the Senate leaves him alone."

"[Exactly. Now, what have we uncovered about our mysterious new friend?]"

"Not much, I'm afraid," Oscar sighed. He erased Sssnnathor's picture and brought up a still-frame from The Silken Feather's holographic communication. Next to that image was a picture of the green Karnakian with her wing around the shoulders of Tk'rii'na. The pair smiled into the camera with evident happiness.

Oscar began going through his summary. "In spite of her overly dramatic schtick, this chick is no joke. Her cover identity as Ka'iirt was damn good. We found all sorts of corroborating documents from the Thirty-Third path, but after a bit we figured out they were forged. We've got her DNA as well, but it doesn't match any other Karnakian on record anywhere. Could she have deleted her original hatchling records?"

"[It's possible, but such a process would be very difficult.]" The Captain tapped a claw against her workstation as she thought. "[Some colonies deliberately limit their technology level. I suppose it's possible she's from a colony that doesn't even use DNA scanning."

Oscar leaned sideways. "We did find out that she had a ship stashed, just as we suspected. The Karnakian looking after it had no idea who he was working for, of course. She'd just hired him to keep an eye on it for a few decades and keep it maintained. Then two weeks ago she shows up, pays him a nice chunk of change, and takes off in it."

Advertisement

"[When departing she must have filed plans with various flight controls.]"

"Yep. Her new identity is um, this name. I'm not even going to try to pronounce it."

On the screen the name 'Nk'''traa'i' appeared while Oscar continued speaking.

"We traced Nicky's ship through that star cluster. Her last known heading was in the direction of Snape's planet."

Rgrarshok's ears twitched in pleasure. "[Excellent. Now we just need to figure out the best way to approach her hiding place.]"

Oscar laughed. "I figure we can't just go steamrolling in like we did on my first case."

"[You are very correct. [Sssnnathor] could not deny us access, of course, but a Senate team showing up to a, um, 'neutral' world such as his would create all sorts of questions.]"

"Hmmm...Snape doesn't know what you look like. Maybe we can pose as shady merchants?"

The Captain clicked her teeth. "[Yes, something like that is feasible. Having such an eclectic mix of species on board might work in our favor.]" She let out a soft growl. "[For once.]"

Oscar thwacked his head. "Ah, shit! I forgot. Silky knows what a lot of us look like. You even introduced yourself."

"[True, but if we are discreet and deal directly with [Ssssnnathor] I think we can avoid her discovering that we're around. Even if this 'Silken Feather' does recognize us, she won't tell [Sssnnathor]. He would be quite upset at her for bringing such unwanted attention."

"Okay. But our ship has a transponder, doesn't it? They'll see we're registered as a Senate team."

Rgrarshok grinned over at him. "[Transponders can be changed.]"

"Isn't that kind of, um, really fucking illegal?"

"[It is in most cases, but we've been given quite a bit of leeway by the Senate in circumstances just like this one. We just need to come up with appropriate cover identities for the crew.]"

"For a start, Maria and I will need to keep out of sight," said Oscar. "Humans are rare as it is. There's no way a mere tramp steamer could score two of us."

Rgrarshok slid off of her motorcycle-like workstation. "[True. But it would be better if we had some plausible reason for you to be on board, just in case we need you to appear in public.]" Her clicking became almost dolphin-like as a grin spread across her face.

"Captain? I really don't like the way you're smiling..."

Sssnnathor hummed an atonal but happy melody as he pressed his snout against the tank wall. The wall material itself was crystal-clear, but the liquid within was murky with swirling nanomachines. Therefore much of the form inside the tank was obscured, but from what the Jornissian could see this latest experiment was proceeding very nicely.

He backed up and slithered towards a nearby workstation, not slowing in the slightest as he ducked under its circular 'desk' and then popped his hood back up. The workstation's main display showed in numerical detail what he had just seen.

"" Sssnnathor whispered, an extra gleam of excitement in his silver eyes. Another few weeks and then he'd know if this latest refinement was everything that he'd hoped. Then there would be some repeat experiments, just to make sure. And once he was sure, he could transfer this improved process to the new and much larger lab now currently under construction.

At long last his dream, the Great Work he'd been working towards for most of his life...it was now within reach.

The door to the lab slid open fast enough to admit a sprinting Dorarizin. That was good, because what came into the lab was, indeed, a sprinting Dorarizin. Nerlharg-of-Aergh skidded to a halt with a screech of claws-on-metal.

Advertisement

Sssnnathor raised one corner of his hood in an amused smirk. ""

Nerlharg stood upright, almost quivering with his intensity. "[No, Excellency, but I wanted to tell you right away. We traced that encrypted transmission to one [Nk'''traa'i]. She recently arrived from parts unknown. Our attempt to capture her failed; she was more competent than we expected.]"

Once upon a time, the tyrant might have lost his temper in a prolonged fit of screaming. Long experience with setbacks, however, meant that Ssssnnathor responded with a thoughtful hiss-purr.

"[I still don't believe she's a Senate operative, Excellency,]" added Nerlharg. "[She was much too...flamboyant in her method of evading us. We did find the craft she arrived in, and have of course impounded it. I also have the spaceports under observation, so for the moment she's trapped here.]"

"" That was Sssnnathor-speak for do you need to execute some fools?.

"[Not at present. They were simply not equipped to deal with her particular diversion.]" He held up a paw with extended claws, and there were tinges of blue blood on a few of his claw-tips. "[I've taken great pains to ensure that the next time they will be properly equipped.]"

""

Nerlharg bowed and departed as fast as he'd arrived. Sssnnathor turned his attention back to the workstation's display, although now his thoughts were on things other than the Great Work. After a while he shook himself and refocused. Nerlharg was a competent subordinate and a merciless hunter. He'd have this mysterious Karnakian run to ground in no time.

Since there were now two humans on board the Furious Claw of Inquiry, their mandated alone-time requirement per day was two and a half hours instead of four. The OIH claimed this number was based on some complicated algorithm chewing on many decades' worth of data. Oscar suspected they'd just pulled the number out of their collective ass.

Apart from length of time was the issue of what to watch. Maria was in the mood for something historical and plotty, while Oscar wanted fighting and explosions. They settled on a decent compromise, namely Kurosawa's 'Throne of Blood'. Toshiro Mifune was right in the middle of his sword-swinging freak-out at seeing the ghost of his murdered friend Miki when Oscar told Maria of the planned deception.

Maria scowled and rubbed her forehead. "A troupe of traveling entertainers? This was the best cover story she could come up with?"

Oscar replied with a grin and a few strums of his guitar. "It's a better idea than you might think. We don't have to get any fake cargo or manifests or any of that crap."

She crossed her arms and huffed. Onscreen the drama continued to unfold, and she didn't speak again until Toshiro Mifune had taken one final arrow to the neck and the film ended.

"It's easy for you," she said. "At least you can play guitar. What the hell am I gonna do?"

Oscar pondered telling her of the horrible dark secret of the galaxy, namely that xenos found humans adorable. All she'd have to do is stand there and do nothing and she would still bring the house down.

But telling her of the horrible dark secret of the galaxy could go one of two ways. Either she'd become even more bossy due to her newly realized Power of Cute or she'd get an even bigger chip on her shoulder. Neither prospect was pleasing, so he'd have to tread lightly in his suggestions.

"I doubt you'll be called on to actually do anything," he said. "But just in case, remember that you're unique to anyone on Snape's planet. I doubt any of them have laid eyes on a human in person. Why not recite poetry? You must know some old human epics."

Her scowl relaxed. "That could work. Shelly's 'Ozymandias' is my favorite, but that's way too short...I'll have to think about it. Thanks for the idea."

Oscar strummed a few chords. "No problem." He could feel her eyes on him and wondered if he had something stuck in his teeth. Thus far Maria had shown no interest in Oscar, which was fine by him. What he'd told Myyreh was true; their age difference made it weird to consider, er, 'dating' her.

"You were alive then, right?" she finally asked.

He had a pretty good idea of what she meant, but he played ignorant. "When?"

"When the Karnakians invaded. I figure you're old enough."

Oscar chuckled. "And here I thought I was hiding my age pretty well."

"It's not how you look, it's how you move. You're more graceful than most humans, you don't bump into things or trip nearly as often. Now that humans don't age like we used to, that's about the only way to tell when someone's older." Maria leaned forward. "Were you in Washington? From all the hints everybody drops, I figure you used to do some black-ops crap for the US Government."

Oscar sighed. "It wasn't that dramatic. Thanks to losing my leg I was 'officially' out of the service, so they made me a contractor. First for Army CID and after a bit I sorta drifted into the CIA as an analyst and investigator. I was at CIA headquarters when we sighted that ship near Jupiter. Have you ever been to Langley?"

She shook her head as Oscar reached over and picked up his guitar again. "It's next to the Potomac river, north of the Pentagon. Looks more like a college campus than a top-secret government facility. You used to have to get through about ten different checkpoints to get onto the grounds, but now I hear they have guided tours through it. There's a big auditorium separated from the rest of the buildings, and that auditorium was fuckin' packed for days straight as we watched the feeds. There wasn't much to see at that point, just a fuzzy dot. But things were tense, especially when the news went public. There were outbreaks of violence pretty much everywhere. Even a few people at Langley had nervous breakdowns.

"Then the Karnakians moved, and we could see that this 'dot' was actually a ship the size of fuckin' Manhattan heading right for Earth. That happened just as the President started his speech. You could hear the entire auditorium do a collective facepalm when he had his unfortunate little 'hot-mic' moment."

Oscar strummed the opening chords from 'Proud Mary'. "After that, everything went right to shit in about ten seconds flat. A lot of our people were burning up the phone lines with our opposite numbers in other countries, trying to pool what intel everybody had. There wasn't much to go around. The damn city was burning, so meanwhile I was liaising with both the Langley security forces and whatever local military units I could get ahold of. That latter was just in case the rioting spread towards us.

"Fortunately I didn't have to do much moving. I'd been wearing my prosthetic for about twenty hours straight by that point and my stump was hurting like a bastard. The vacuum seal on it had been going a little wonky for a week or so prior, and I kept telling myself to get it fixed...of course, once the Karnakian ship arrived I forgot all about that particular bit of maintenance. Apart from the fake leg I was also wearing an increasingly sweaty bulletproof vest in the event there was any gunfire.

"Then we got word of the landing in Atlanta, and we stopped all our running around and stood there, glued to the TV screens."

Maria sat up. "Oh, crap. So you saw it when..." She crossed her arms and tapped her own shoulders.

Oscar winced. "Yeah. That poor bastard. At least when I lost my leg I knew I was in a combat situation, he just...well, he wasn't expecting it. Me, I was so hopped up on adrenaline it took me a bit before I realized I couldn't walk. Anyway, after the first physical contact resulted in that, it was a case of us feeding strategic info to the local commanders in Atlanta and also keeping the JCS and CIC up to date on the global situation."

"I have no idea what those initials mean."

He chuckled. "Sorry, lapsed back into jargon there for a bit. The Joint Chiefs of Staff and the Commander in Chief, the President. A lot of us suspected that something was strange about the whole situation. The aliens seemed to be very fixated on Atlanta. If this was an invasion, why not land ships elsewhere?

"But I wasn't about to question our good luck. Strategically we had the Karnakians bottled up pretty good on the ground and their mothership wasn't resorting to orbital bombardment...so we began to think we might just contain this situation. Martin, my boss at the time, actually said out loud that it was looking up for us."

Oscar gave a sour smile. "And that was right when the real invasion fleet dropped out of FTL and launched their pods. That, of course, lit up every tracking radar we had like a Gods-be-damned Christmas tree." He shook his head. "We looked at our screens and saw millions of the damn things heading for Earth. Then we looked at each other, and you could see the same thought on everyone's faces. We were dead. I remember hearing a few sobs, but that was it. I'm kinda surprised there wasn't more screaming or crying."

Maria's face was still and composed. "You didn't know it was all a big mistake. You really thought the world was ending."

It was a long while before Oscar finally replied. "Yeah, we did."

There was another long, endless silence before he spoke again.

"That's the one thing you can't train for. No matter how many exercises or tests you go through, you never know what you'll do in a truly hopeless situation until you're dropped in the middle of one. I’ve heard that some people, even real hard cases, will just lie down and wait to die."

Maria raised a challenging eyebrow. "But of course you didn't lie down, right?"

He shrugged, his face neutral. "I didn't stop moving. But I kind of...shut down for a while while I went through the motions. I snapped out of it when we found out that three of the inbounds were headed for Langley. At that point we thought they were bombs, so I figured I might as well see the thing that kills me. I managed to hobble outside into the courtyard just in time to see them fall towards us.

"I looked up and saw the pods coming down in a tight triangle formation, still glowing red and flaming from entering our atmosphere. We noticed they were all slowing down in sync with each other, which made us realize they weren't bombs. Then the damndest thing happened. The pods split up, angling away from each other as if God gave 'em all a good solid kick in the side. The split was really messy-looking, too. It sure didn't look choreographed.

"Afterwards, we found out that was when the Karnakian admiral sent the 'stand down' signal. At the time, there were three big parking lots around the facility. Each pod aimed itself for one. I guess their autopilots calculated that landing in the parking lots held less chance of harm than smacking right into the middle of the campus.

"I was closest to the south lot, so that was the only pod I actually saw land. There was this huge spray of asphalt and earth and a few cars got tossed around. We all just stood there in shock for a bit from the fact that the thing hadn't just blown up. I was the first to move. Grabbed the nearest few security guys and we all ran...well, they ran and I hobbled...for the crash site. Meanwhile I could hear Martin on my radio, screaming at whomever he could while trying to get some real troops and weapons to our location."

Maria leaned back against the couch. "The military was too busy to help the CIA?"

Oscar shrugged. "The Pentagon got bracketed with twenty pods themselves. I can't blame the brass for prioritizing the military over what they saw as a bunch of analyst eggheads.

"So we reach the parking lot, which had this new shallow crater in the middle of it. The drop-pod sat in the center of that crater like a huge metal egg. We lay flat, scooted our way forward, and peeked over the crater rim...just in time to see the Karnakian poking his own head out of the pod and staring right back at us. All we had were sidearms, but we shot at him anyway and he ducked back inside. From what we'd seen of Atlanta we knew nine millimeter wouldn't do jack shit against his armor and shields. So we dug in as best we could, behind rubble or overturned cars. I got enough of the campus police there to establish a perimeter around the pod. From what I heard on the radio, the other two parking lots had similar situations.

"Then we sat and waited. It was getting on towards dusk by that point, but I could see the Karnakian was doing something inside his pod...locking away his weapons, as it turned out. We found out later that he had enough firepower all on his own to turn half the city into smoking rubble.

"After he was done safeing his weapons he stepped out again, real slow and easy. We finally got a good look at one of the invaders in the flesh." Oscar shook his head. "The xenos don't like to show us images of themselves in full armor, and for good reason. They're scary enough just wearing clothes, but when they're armored up and you still can see aaaaall those teeth...fuck. I couldn't see the two pairs of eyes thanks to the helmet, so for a bit I wondered if they really were dinosaurs come back to reclaim the planet.

"But then he raised his hands, showing that he wasn't carrying anything. I think we were all too shocked by that gesture to shoot at him again. He just stood there, looking around at all of us surrounding him.

"I was halfway behind this smashed-up car, crouching next to a new security hire named Rockatansky. He looked at the alien in disbelief and finally stammered out, 'S-sir, is this motherfucker surrendering?' I said that it sure as shit looked like it.

"Of course, just as I said that the Karnakian moved towards me and Rockatansky. Still slow and easy, with his hands up the whole time. I had my pistol aimed at him, for all the good that did. He stopped about ten feet away from our car, pointed at himself, and then pointed behind me."

"'Looks like he wants past us,' said Rockatansky. I said tough shit and yelled at the xeno to stop moving. The dino took another two slow steps forward, and at his second step I fired. Hit him right on his helmet...which did nothing. I saw the spark and heard the bullet smack into some car off to the side. Made me realize that our own bullets posed more of a threat to us than to this damned alien. He stopped again and peered at each of us in turn like we were the most fascinating things he'd ever seen.

"Then he reached out, even slower than before, and grabbed the car we'd been using for concealment. Rockatansky and I stumbled back as he lifted the entire fuckin' car into the air like it was a lump of tinfoil. I couldn't believe it."

"He was wearing powered armor, though," said Maria.

"Of course he was. It was still fuckin' impressive. The Karnakian set the car aside like he was putting a quart of milk back in the fridge then took another couple steps forward. He did the whole pointing-at-himself-then-past us routine again. This time I looked in the direction he was pointing. It was towards one of the other parking lots, and I had a lightbulb moment as I realized he wanted to rejoin his comrades. I said as much, and Rockatansky responded with the obvious question of 'Then why they'd split up in the first place?'"

"The emergency stand-down order had split them up," said Maria.

"Yeah, I know that now. But at the time it was just strange. I could hear some crackling of gunfire in the distance behind us just as the Karnakian started to reach his hands forward towards the two of us. All of the cops around us were screaming for him to stop moving. Meanwhile I was yelling at 'em all to hold fire so that I didn't eat a ricochet.

"The alien stopped, looked at his hands, and then at us. He wilted a bit. Afterwards I realized he'd been told what had happened in Atlanta. He was terrified of hurting us. So instead he put down his head and he...I guess the best way to put it is he 'nuzzled' his way past the two of us. Rockatansky and I got shoved aside easily, and we stood there staring at each other in disbelief. The alien started moving off, just trotting along.

"I needed to regain control of the situation, so we all ran and/or hobbled after him and surrounded him again. He looked around at all of us pointing guns and yelling, and I saw him give a very human-looking sigh. Then he leaped over us, moving fast this time. I saw him turn into a blur and heard a thump behind us, and by the time I turned around he was already a good distance towards his destination. He left a swath of destruction through the greenery, and we all followed as fast as we could. Meanwhile I was yelling over the radio that the alien seemed to be taking care not to hurt people, and for everyone to hold fire to avoid friendly casualties. While I ran I started thinking through some crazy notions on how to contain the aliens. If each pod had a Karnakian, then maybe we could surround the three of 'em with a human wall and corral them that way. If we had enough people packed in behind that first wall, they'd be unable to jump away without hurting somebody."

Oscar chuckled. "And then, right in the middle of my running and strategizing, my damned prosthetic finally came off." He made a little twirling motion with his hand. "I went ass-over-teakettle into the dirt and landed face-down.

"I remember spitting out a wad of turf and saying fuck dirt, fuck aliens, fuck Earth, and fuck my leg in particular. I was also wondering why I heard the campus cops yelling from all around me. Surely they were still chasing after the alien?

"I rolled myself over, still cursing like a soldier who's just lost his leg, and as I went onto my back I just about shit myself. The damned Karnakian was right there, hovering over me. I guess he was worried that he'd hurt me when he'd shoved us aside. He leaned down and almost touched his snout to my nose. That was the first time I got a taste of how fast they could really move."

Maria's eyes were big. "Did...did he try to pick you up?"

"Eventually. I was close enough to his face to see the four eyes behind the visor, which told me these dudes were never from Earth. He gave this little warble as he looked at me, then glanced back to where my fake leg lay in the dirt. When he looked down at me again he gave a soft trill, and I swear I could see such pity in his eyes."

"Is that when you finally realized he meant no harm?" asked Maria.

Oscar bared his teeth. "No, that's when I got really fuckin' mad. I sure as shit didn't need or want his pity. The dino trilled louder and brought his hands around towards me. I didn't want a replay of Atlanta, so I reached up and slapped him across the nose. Damn near broke my hand on his helmet. Told the Karnakian to keep his worthless goddamn hands to himself or I'd unscrew his fuckin' head and use it as a fuckin' paperweight.

"He didn't understand me, of course, but my tone sure got through. So he stepped back with another little trill of apology. Then he turned trotted over, picked up my leg, and trotted back. He dropped it beside me and headed off. I told the others to follow him at a safe distance while I tried to jam my damn fake leg back on. By the time I reached the other parking lot our Karnakian was facing his colleague while between the two of 'em was a whole phalanx of campus cops. Rockatansky looked back at me as I limped up to him and asked 'Where's the third one, sir?'

"I heard a lot of distant yelling, and from the direction of the east parking lot I saw this big, shambling mass coming towards us. That mass was the third Karnakian under a pile of about forty campus cops. They were hanging off of various bits of her. I guess they'd run out of ammo and now were trying to restrain her using their own tender pink bodies. They couldn't stop her from moving, of course.

"All three of the aliens were acting peaceful, plus they'd abandoned their pods and they didn't seem to be armed with any weapons...apart from their claws of course. So I made a strategic decision and told the cops to let them through and link up. We weren't gonna stop 'em anyway, not with pistols. A few of the cops hanging off of the third Karnakian didn't want to let go, and so finally she sorta...brushed them off. Dislocated the shoulder of one of the cops, but otherwise the only thing hurt was their egos."

"What did the Karnakians do then?" asked Maria.

"They stood together and nuzzled each other a few times while trilling back and forth. Then they looked around at all of us. I was expecting 'em to try to get past us again and head for the hills, so I started to arrange our guys in tight-packed circles like I'd planned...but as I did they just sat down like they were waiting for a damn train.

"We still surrounded them, of course, and aimed pistols at them as if that meant anything. For an hour or so we stood there. Then my stump got tired so I sat. Meanwhile I'm on the radio with Martin, and from every landing zone we could contact we heard that the the aliens weren’t shooting back, they were all just milling around trying to link up with each other. They weren’t even using the weapons we’d seen ‘em use in Atlanta. That's when I began to realize that something fucky had happened further up the Karnakian chain of command.

"I also found out the rest of our army was busy surrounding the other aliens scattered throughout DC and putting out fires. For a while we'd be on our own. There were a few grumblings about how we should jury-rig some Molotov cocktails and use them on the aliens, but I used my technically non-existent command authority to squash that shit real quick."

"So you'd gotten over being mad?" asked Maria.

Oscar shrugged. "I was still plenty pissed, but they'd surrendered...or near as dammit. The whole invasion seemed to be fizzling out. I wasn't about to execute POWs, even if they were giant alien bird-lizards.

He gave a sour smile. "Right when I thought we might live through this after all, my earpiece lit up again with missile launch warnings."

Oscar strummed a few more chords of 'Proud Mary'. "It's funny...that moment was worse than when the Karnakians launched their pods. Because this time we were doing it to ourselves. I knew what was coming. We were in spitting distance of the Pentagon and well within the radius of any nuclear fireball. There was no way we could reach safety in time.

"I stood up, and Rockatansky knew something was wrong from looking at my face. He asked me a question but I never heard it. The Karnakians must’ve also heard something over their own comms about the incoming missiles, because all three stood as one and stared into the sky. They let out this...communal wail? I guess that's the only way to describe it. They sounded like a pipe organ in mourning.

"By that point, Rockatansky was really freaking out. He had his gun out again and was yelling at me to tell him what was going on. What with his yelling plus the aliens acting up, the other cops were also getting pretty antsy. Finally Rockatansky screamed 'Fuck it!' and aimed at the nearest Karnakian. I got the gun away from him, but he was faster than I expected and I had to break his arm while doing it.

"I got him pinned him down on the ground just as the sky lit up like a fuckin' flash-bulb. Fortunately I knew our comms were hardened against EMP, especially at Langley. But I also knew that the flash was just the beginning. That was the standard strategy back in the good old days of Mutually Assured Destruction, you know. Set off a high-level nuke to take out what electrical infrastructure you can, then drop the crowd-pleasers on 'em."

Maria's face was thoughtful. "But once again the world didn't end."

"Yep. Martin was on the horn with me in record time, yelling that all the incoming warheads were gone. The hammer wasn't gonna fall on us, at least not that day."

He shrugged. "There's not much else to tell. I got everybody calmed down again, and for a while Martin and the higher-ups were way too busy to issue us orders. I wasn't about to sacrifice anyone, not even some god-damn aliens, just to reclaim a fuckin' parking lot. So we waited some more. Rockatansky sat there with a splinted arm and actually fuckin' pouted because he wasn't allowed to fight the aliens. It was about ten more hours of waiting around before the cease-fire was called. The Karnakians showed up to collect our POWs and their pods, and that was that."

He gave a thoughtful hum. "I really should find out who those three Karnakians were. I could send them a message, tell 'em no hard feelings."

"Is that really true, though?" asked Maria.

Oscar's eyes narrowed. "Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"

She frowned and waved a hand vaguely. "They invaded us, fer Chrissake. I figure you'd still be a little pissed off about that. You were a soldier."

"Oh I was plenty salty at the Karnakian higher-ups for a long time after. They fucked up big-time in quite a few ways. But I wasn't mad at those three dinos. They were soldiers under orders, just like me once upon a time. They acted honorably. Plus I knew right away that the Karnakians were the ones who'd stopped us from wiping ourselves out." He pointed at one of his boots. "And thanks to the xenos' medical tech I'm now back to having the correct number of feet."

Maria's fierce look subsided as she looked down at his definitely-there appendage. "Oh. Yeah." She sat back on the couch. "So you won by not fighting?"

Oscar gave a half-smile and shrugged. "I wouldn't say we won. I just tried not to make a bad situation worse. Always remember there's no situation so bad that you can't make it worse."

She hugged herself. "I hope I never need to follow that advice. I don't know how I would react if I thought the world was ending. I'd rather not think about it."

He strummed a few chords before replying. "You should think about it now rather than later."

Maria rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I remember the lectures during training at Zephyr. Space is dangerous and all that."

Oscar stopped his strumming. "It's not just space. Life is dangerous. Sooner or later, everything is gonna go south on you. So reflect on that fact now and get comfortable with the fact that you just might die. Then when things do go to shit you don't get paralyzed. You break the problem down into bits and do whatever bits you can. Even if all you can do is go down swinging."

Maria didn't reply. She stared off in thought while Oscar leaned back and began playing 'Proud Mary' in earnest. He thought about their current destination. Oscar would never say so out loud, but this whole cover story cooked up by the Captain was probably a fool's errand. The Silken Feather was no dummy, and if she got wind of the arrival of an mixed group of aliens that would be suspicious enough for her to flee. Oscar figured that she was long-gone already.

The Silken Feather ground her fangs together as she peeked over the ridge towards the job site. The distant whirl of activity was somehow even busier than before. She was in no danger of running out of provisions at her impromptu camp site; she'd planned well in that regard. But her ship was doubtless destroyed or confiscated by now, and they would be watching for any Karnakian attempting to sneak off-world. There was also certainly a reward out for her capture or death, along with a detailed description.

To help in her current spying efforts, she wore contacts with magnifying optics controlled via her implant. The Karnakian zoomed in her view towards the half-built walls of the pyramidal palace, scanning the area where she'd buried the Claw. Fortunately the ground itself was still undisturbed, but the amount of equipment and people parading over the spot meant that it was now effectively off-limits.

For a moment, she began to despair. But she fought the urge back down with renewed optimism. She had been in plenty of tough situations before and she had always triumphed. This was no different. All she needed to do was figure out the construction crew's patterns, determine an optimal time, then dash in and recover the artifact. Although so far there had been no optimal time that she could discover.

She glanced over curiously at a new commotion. Workers towed a line of ten large cubical objects towards the base of one of the walls. The objects themselves slid along on gravity sleds, and they were all wrapped up in protective sheets. Each cube was large enough to hold several Karnakians, or perhaps a couple of Jornissians. The towed objects' destination was an unobtrusive ramp dug under the wall of the pyramid.

Five of the towed objects went down the ramp without trouble, but the sixth brushed against one of the walls next to the underground entrance. The scraping contact tore away the wrapping on one side of the object. The Silken Feather's eyes narrowed as she saw that the cube was actually a tank made of transparent crystal. It looked like a cloning tank, but one much larger than the norm. She was pretty sure it was meant to clone a whole body, not just a replacement organ or two.

She slipped back behind the ridge and trotted off towards a nearby cave. Once there she tapped her claws together in thought, then rooted through her possessions and dug out a small Galnet communications node.

There was one possible way out of her predicament, but that way carried its own new set of risks. However, she now had leverage above and beyond mere possession of the Claw. She was sure that the Senate would be very interested to hear that the supposed 'old degenerate' Sssnnnathor was right in the middle of setting up a large-scale cloning facility.

    people are reading<The Big Yoink: A Smol Detective Story>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click