《An idiots Guide to Creating a Universe》5-How Music Broke the World
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Pangaea, the supercontinent that was meant to hold all species, located on earth's equator surrounded by the vast panthalassa waters. This supercontinent was the perfect place for the immortal’s little beta humans (the neanderthals, dennisovans and homosapeins) to learn and grow. Sort of like a game on sandbox mode, where everything is accessible without needing to make micro-payments. But then Lucy had stumbled upon the worst thing or best thing ever created, the musical arts.
“Oooh, whatcha got there Hector” Lucy asked, skipping up towards the large god.
“This? Apollo gave me some schematics that he, AL and John made. So far Brahma and I have gotten a lot of suggestions from the others so we’ve been busy making and reworking the machine.”
Lucy tilted her head in curiosity, “what does the machine do that’s got everyone so interested?”
“It’s an entertainment machine, something for the humans to enjoy using in their freetime.”
“............”
“No its not a sex thing, get your head out of the gutter.”
“I didn’t say it” Lucy replied with a wink, hands raised to pacify the overworked god.
Hector rolled his eyes in exasperation, “yeah yeah, whatever. So, the diagram they gave me is essentially some metal string held tight by the ends attached to a wooden board.”
“How does it work?”
“You just sort of strum it.”
“Strum?”
“Like this” Hector said, moving his hand along the strings producing a delightful sound.
Lucy’s eyes glittered in when she heard the sound. “Hey, this is really good. I’m really liking this machine.”
“You’re not the only one. Though considering it only sounds good and nothing else, maybe calling it a machine won’t be correct. I’ll have everyone come up with a designation for this type of machine.”
“You mean you’re making more?!” Lucy asked with glee.
“Considering the amount of suggestions Brahma and I are getting, I'll probably need to make a whole new industrial line for it most likely.”
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“I can help test out the products then!!” Lucy stated more than asked.
And that was what began the spiral downwards, Lucy’s brand of madness had expanded the drawn strings into several different variations, from making the strings out of metal because “it’s cool how metal curls a bit when it breaks” to essentially sawing the metal strings with some drawn out horsehair like “you would a bow and arrow but instead of shooting someone down you’re killing them with your mad music skills.”
John did not know what went on in her head but for once he would accept begrudgingly admit that she made strides in the field of music. After all, what could he say when Lucy had even given Brahma the idea to call the machines instruments.Because according to Lucy “it’s a tool so it’s an instrumentum but like it makes sounds in a…” she snapped her fingers trying to find the word that was stuck on the tip of her tongue.
“You know like to make music in a formative way but you need to hear the whole thing to really get it.”
“AH” Brahma exclaimed as he clapped his hands together, the figurative lightbulb lighting up above his head, “like a flower arrangement.”
“YES, arrangement !! So since so many words is instr-something why not just call the music tool instruments.”
Of course before this, the gods had already been making and introducing instruments in many ways. However, they arose in subtle ways from the beating of wooden sticks on hollowed out logs like the teponaztli to the various blowing instruments consisting of a hollowed out bone with holes in it (the divje babe flute). Although such instruments could be seen as a means for entertainment they were just as easily used in order to signal to others in the settlement when something was amiss.
It is only when they were played with the purpose of entertaining that Apollo was given the right to oversee its development. Because really, the last thing we need is another overheating issue when Apollo was still getting used to watching over the sun. Who do you think caused desserts to exist?
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“Apollo, you need help over there” Nuwa asked, concerned as she watched a particularly bright spot on the earth.
“Nope, I got it. No need to worry about me” the Sun god replied with a smile as he furiously moved the sun around.
“You sure about that? The area near Asia is looking a little bit…..dry”
“Positive, it's all good up here for Apollo, the sun god. Yup, I can definitely fix that. Let me just adjust the light here and…”
Nuwa spoke up once more, “Apollo stop, the humans are freezing!!”
Apollo eyes widened shifted side to side, “It’s uh, it's nighttime now. It’s Artemis’s problem now” he said before skedaddling out of there.
Meanwhile, a few hundreds of meters away Artemis was playing around the moon system and got an alert from Nuwa telling her that the freezing humans were her problem according to Apollo. Artemis grimaced as she looked down at the half-dying humans and let out a scream that could be heard across the universe, “APOLLO!!!”
Once the temperature was somewhat fixed to an appropriate level, John was lecturing Apollo on the importance of asking for help, “the lands are inhabitable for humans unless the humans live undergrounds and become lizard humanoids, do you REMEMBER what happened to them.” Anyway, long story short, Nuwa now checked in every 250 years to make sure Apollo was doing his job properly.
Back to the instruments though. Lucy along with the ideas of the whole immortal team and the execution of Hector and Brahma had created an orchestra, literally no figurativeness whatsoever. The piano, also made with metal string except you press on keys to make them twang, the horn - just a string of spit coming from vibrating lips, the drum just a string of banging sounds. EVERYTHING IS STRING (OAO).
So if anyone ever says ‘you’re listening to the devils music’ you can reply ‘why yes, yes I am.’
But it was the creation of the electric guitar that complications began because Lucy in all the wisdom decided to rock the earth a bit and what do you know, the continent shattered like fine china on a concrete floor, and now we have the seven continents.
It was just a normal eternal day when Lucy was helping out Hector with the instruments and as she was playing around with the electric guitar, which she realised was awesome especially when she played a rift on it unlike the old lute which was too soft for her liking. The infatuation with the electric guitar resulted in her perpetually increasing the volume of the stereo linked to the guitar till we had to say bye-bye pangaea.
The immortals then quickly enacted damage control and were forced to add movements into the tectonic plates to keep the continents from constantly drifting in every which way or face the possibility of the continents crashing into each other. The ones that did crash into each other birthed the himalayas but having to hear the two continents screech as they continuously move closer and closer together hurt the groups ears. Luckily, they had a vibration mode for earth, which made some mini earthquakes but it's fine.
Safe to say it was a wild time. The neanderthals were scared, John and the other beings were confused, and Lucy well Lucy thought it was hilarious.
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